| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 8/22/2008 1:21:44 PM | | What is the big deal about some young girl marrying a middle aged man? If she is smoking hot, she is going to stay youthful for decades. Unless I find some ultra intelligent babe, I am going to hook up with pretty 18 year old girls when I turn 40 as well. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 8/22/2008 3:32:07 PM | | The funny thing is I was blasted on a different thread with about the same topic. That being that the woman I am dating is 24 while I am 43. I was called out and flamed by several posters and shot every one of them down. By no means does age have a determining factor whether or not one should date or get married. I did not go looking for someone in her age group it just happened. Her intellect is rather refreshing and we are able to engage in many discussions ranging from all topics from religion to politics. We also talk about today and the future as opposed to yesterday and past memories. To each their own and if it works than that is proof enough that love can and at time does conquer all. In the other thread I talked about snide remarks made openly in public to both myself and her. It wasnt the stares that bother us its the barely audible or rather the comments made just audible enough to make sure that we heard that bother us. I see it as a way that other people who dont understand and cannot understand will attempt to justify or vilify us simply because it is not a normal everyday occurance to see a couple like us. The majority will always condemn that which they do not understand. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 8/23/2008 2:42:37 PM | I am with you... I primarily date younger women. Ive been chastised regularly by women friends in the 40s. My sensibility is that when I was early to mid 20s many of the women I found appealing were dating older and much older men. While I can empathize with having a smaller dating pool my sympathy is not offered. Is my turn to enjoy a larger dating pool. Women still have the opportunity to date younger men just as I had the opportunity to date older women when I was much younger.
Again, hate and moral or spiritual or psychological preeminence is a plague. To each his or her own. Our right to privacy (Bill Of Rights) and State Statutes define what is age is legally consentual. Dont like an 18 yr old dating a 40 yr old...Put your lobby and your vote where your mouth is.
ER | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 8:01:51 AM | My ex married a woman 15 years younger than him a couple years ago. They're VERY happy & good together. She's a great co-mom as well.
It does occasionally work out well! Depends on the situation and the maturity of the people involved. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 8:32:52 AM | 18 is an adult age
Mutually consenting adults of healthy mind and body are free to do what they will.
It's law based on generally accepted social standards.
Best wishes to the two of them. Who are we to judge based on age...kinda anti-democratic, eh?
He is likely mature, employed, might even own his house...she is young, likely fertile and willing to learn... sounds like a match to me! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 9:15:44 AM | | she is probably looking for someone to take care of her and a father figure. quite frankly he's old enough to be her father and i think that is sick. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 9:30:50 AM | | We don't judge people for where they were born, why should we judge them for When they were born. Maybe the 18 year old wants to skip the drama of entry level jobs and go straight to a guy who's secure in his career and owns his own place and has a decent car (hopefully). If he's poor, then all I can say is that there's no accounting for tastes. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 9:42:24 AM | | Or maybe...just maybe...he is an awesome guy with tons of wisdom and a personality that could charm the panties off of anyone. OMG, perish the thought!! Sorry, that might be a little too much for most people's black-n-white view of the world. You're right, it must be about financial security and nothing else. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 9:49:42 AM | What's with all of the "who are we to judge?" crap? Who are we? We're people with opinions and a desire to express them.
Those who are showing support for this are "judging", as well.
For me personally, as I stated in another thread, when the age gap is a generation gap, the relationship is less likely to stand the test of time. Anyone who thinks otherwise isn't being very realistic. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 10:02:51 AM | | I've always dated "older men". When I was 18, I dated a very successful 50+ yr old man- didn't look his age whatsoever and certainly didn't act like it. He was affluent and witty- same sense of humor and the sex was amazing. I never received money from him and I didn't expect to- it wasn't a freakin' whore vs daddy relationship like you guys make it out to be. I appreciated his wisdom and he appreciated my vibrant mind and creativity. He wasn't insecure and I wasn't looking for a father figure- I was looking for a mature man to date- all of the men my age were only looking for one thing. We had deep, intelligent conversations and the age gap really brought on new, interesting topics we both explored together, always learning something new. I think the relationship didn't work out because I was falling for him and I had to get away...I was scared. He taught me one thing that I have used in my every day life; a woman should never have to compromise herself or her values. Not very many men would give this advice. I messed things up for us- if those two individuals feel and have a relationship like he and I did, then I think the marriage is completely okay. Hell, back in the day, folks were getting arranged marriages at age 13! Let them be- to each their own- at least they love each other and whatever hurtles they come across they will deal with, not you or I. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 10:26:19 AM |
I've always dated "older men". When I was 18, I dated a very successful 50+ yr old man- didn't look his age whatsoever and certainly didn't act like it. He was affluent and witty- same sense of humor and the sex was amazing. I never received money from him and I didn't expect to- it wasn't a freakin' whore vs daddy relationship like you guys make it out to be. I appreciated his wisdom and he appreciated my vibrant mind and creativity. He wasn't insecure and I wasn't looking for a father figure- I was looking for a mature man to date- all of the men my age were only looking for one thing. We had deep, intelligent conversations and the age gap really brought on new, interesting topics we both explored together, always learning something new. I think the relationship didn't work out because I was falling for him and I had to get away...I was scared. He taught me one thing that I have used in my every day life; a woman should never have to compromise herself or her values. Not very many men would give this advice. I messed things up for us- if those two individuals feel and have a relationship like he and I did, then I think the marriage is completely okay. Hell, back in the day, folks were getting arranged marriages at age 13! Let them be- to each their own- at least they love each other and whatever hurtles they come across they will deal with, not you or I.
So, let me get this straight. You were with him because he possessed everything you wanted and couldn't find in guys your own age, yet it scared you into leaving?
Forgive me if I'm not quite understanding this. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 10:57:49 AM | | Everything I wanted, I was scared of my own feelings. I'm not sure how to explain it. He was the first serious relationship I've ever had that was real. I mean, he didn't lie to me ever and didn't use me for sex. The sex was mutual and amazing when we had it, but there were plenty of nights we just laid on his yacht and just held each other. I was scared because I was falling in love with him. I was scared of love- my mother wasn't the greatest role model. Is that clearer? | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 11:05:27 AM | OP When I was in High School I knew this girl from a nice church going family that married this guy 20 years older making him in his mid to late 30's right after she graduated. Most of us that knew what was taking place thought it was goofy. But now looking back there still together after many of the rest of us have went thru all of lifes up and down yet they have a great life, kids and grandkids. More than I can say about my sorry self....  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 10:53:55 PM | i think the girl will most likely leave the 40 year old when she reaches about 28 to 30. unless she has a couple of kids to tie her down she may start feeling like she missed out on some youthful running amok.
why would you feel flattered that an 18 yr old showed interest in you? when young guys show interest in me i get disgusted. you do realize that the 18 year old would probably be playing you right?
lar | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:38:35 AM |
aylesford: "What do you think?"
I think that you're an ageist. If they're happy then you should be supportive or back the hell out of their lives.
All the time I hear horror stories of how badly teenage and 20-something guys mistreat girls her age. I'd guess that this guy has enough money to afford her a comfortable lifestyle, he's likely gentle and caring by comparison to guys her age and he's probably an experienced lover.
What would she see in him? Experience, confidence, strength, maturity, financial and emotional stability.
No, I do not think she is cutting her adolescent life short. Adolescence pretty much ends at 18. Who says that she can't go to college?
Will she not feel that she missed out on the "horrible" dating scene...? You realize that you used the word horrible there? So why is that a bad thing if she finds someone to be happy with right away, someone who represents the chance of a monogamous relationship? | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 4:23:39 AM | | Reading people comments about that its a failure in the making could be wrong when i was 18 i was seeing a guy of 34 yrs old and we worked out ok but then it went pair shaped after i moved in with him!!! After 9 months i left and had to rebuild my life, so i dont personally dont think she is missing out on anything if she is happy | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 5:49:48 AM | but there were plenty of nights we just laid on his yacht and just held each other."
Enough said....
Enough said about what may I ask? I take that to mean you dont care for holding or cuddling or enjoying a perfect sunset on board a boat? Relationships arent all about sex for your information or maybe in your case they may be but for most of us it isnt. And since you imply two things with your post may I also point out that not all such relationships involve someone rich either as lord knows I am not rich and powerful yet my relationship with a younger woman seems to be going just fine. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 7:05:05 AM | I don't agree with it at all. First of all the 18 year old hasen't even experienced being an adult yet, that given, still at an immature level in her life. So, she jumps into a relationship with a man who could be her father, where he has more experience than she has. No, it's wrong! Now if she were more like 23-24, then go right ahead!
I'm 21. My parents had seperated a year ago (now they are back together). When they first seperated, my father who is 41, decides to date a a 20 year old who has never been in a relationship....I was absolutely pissed and disgusted. I knew this girl, and she knew my dad was old enough to be her father. They were together for a year until my father woke up and realized that it was a mistake...she started taking him for granted and whenever she didn't get what she wanted she would start her hissy fits.
My parents are back together and happier than ever. I believe the reason why my dad even considered going with that 20 year old skank was because it made him feel better about himself..knowing that for a man his age he can still get a younger girl. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 7:14:32 AM | | She sold herself short. no years to have some fun and be a teen. can you imagine later in life ? (not many look beyond today) When he retires and she has another 20 years to work. isn't that going to fun ? She will get to change his depends before she goes to work each morning. Not going to work. spells divorce all over it ! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 7:43:21 AM | i think the girl will most likely leave the 40 year old when she reaches about 28 to 30. unless she has a couple of kids to tie her down she may start feeling like she missed out on some youthful running amok.
why would you feel flattered that an 18 yr old showed interest in you? when young guys show interest in me i get disgusted. you do realize that the 18 year old would probably be playing you right?
Right and that is why statistically there are fewer divorces with this arrangement? 18 would be too young for me but my girlfriend is 24 and there have been no problems and I am not rich and as for running amok we do more together than she would have had a chance to do with someone her own age who is much less mature. | |
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