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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:40:33 AM | | how true, age is but a state of mind, I was 19 and had my first Lady she was 47 now that is something~ but tell me Amazon4girls how did you get that name?? later~ | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:46:06 AM | deweylips: "When he retires and she has another 20 years to work. isn't that going to fun ?"
Yeah, I'm sure she'll be crying everyday on that cruise in the Mediterranean while you're still working at Denny's (where guys feel like it's their right to touch your ass when you pass by). The point is: she won't be working since he has enough money by 40. By the time he's 65 they'll likely be traveling around. She's the one on his yacht and you're the one who's trying to eek out a living. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:59:36 AM | I have dated much younger women. In fact, I'm involved now with a woman who is 28 years younger. We were together for 2 years, had a year apart, and we're back together again. When we first met, though, she was 27.
Obviously, I know the reality of older/younger relationships. The thing that would concern me about the situation in the OP, is that the girl is 18. There is a great deal of difference between a teenager and a "grown up". For me, the line of demarcation is at about 25. By then, most people are "grown up", with enough life experience, that the radical changes that happen for most people, are behind them.
Older/younger relationships tend to be "serious" in a way that same age dating wouldn't necessarily be, so the 18 year old, might be drawn into somehing very serious, before she's finished "growing up".
Puttting aside the age difference issue, teenagers who marry, usually end up divorced in a fairly short time. So, the 18 "bothers" me, but the age difference of 22 years doesn't. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 10:03:07 AM | I have a male friend who is 59, and married a 23 year old with three kids. Now he finds out she has pretty much drained his savings, took things that weren't hers, and tore the rest of the house up when they split up, not to mention all the bills she left him with.
And being the great guy he is, he even adopted her three kids, and treated them as his own.
So now they are divorcing, and she is suing him for child support! None of which the kids are biologicaly his. All this less than two months after the adoption.
She couldn't get any support out of the other two dads... So now he feels that is the only reason she married him......
Her youngest is only two, so he will be paying child support until he's alomost 80!!!!   | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 11:15:59 AM | Looking at your profile ( Takemethewayiam.) .Shows how immature you are. Assuming he had money (which most likely he doesn't) And took early retirement and just cruise the world as you seem to think. And saying he heads to the retirement home because of disease that catches your aging body ? You think your health will always be there . Do you think she would give up her life to take care of her aging/ailing husband ? You need to grow up a few years before any snide remarks about anyone working as a waitress has to put up (or Will) with your nasty hands any where on her body.. Your living in fairytale land. mom read to many fantasy books to you.
You don't get rich by climbing rocks...And I am assuming you wouldn't date a waitress ?? Guess this might just blow it with ladies that might have went out with you ?? But you apparently look down on people that do service jobs. ..You have a stinking attitude.. Grow up sir !! Grow Up ! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:35:25 PM | "Enough said about what may I ask? " You sure read quite a bit into enough said. I implied nothing your imagination ran away with you.....
IMO most old men/young women relationships revolve around money. When a relationship is about money its just a matter of time before it fails. There is nothing unhappy about a young couple building a life and growing old together. IMO thats a better fit. There are alot of young, successful, decent young men out there.
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 7:16:57 PM | IMO most old men/young women relationships revolve around money. When a relationship is about money its just a matter of time before it fails. There is nothing unhappy about a young couple building a life and growing old together. IMO thats a better fit. There are alot of young, successful, decent young men out there.
The reality is that although that may be true here in the U.S. it isnt true the world over and yes in an older man younger woman relationship the divorce rates bear out that they tend to last longer. Its great you have an opinon that they all revolve around money however the reality is that most of the time it doesnt. I had to do a lot of research on the subject and googled my butt off when I started seeing this woman. I can tell you for a fact that I myself am not rich so wheres your money incentive? Also you seem to forget that there are two people in every relationship and I suppose you have forgotten that maybe her reasons for the relationship are just as valid and worthwhile as are mine. Snide remarks dont bother us anymore we only laugh it off and Noone said anything about couple of the same age building a life together and growing old. Now that you mention it though just what would be the difference of doing the same thing as an older man? Hmmmm Just a thought. Your opinion of a better fit is just that.... YOUR opinion. My girlfriend though might beg to differ with you. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 7:25:38 PM |
deweylips: "Looking at your profile ( Takemethewayiam.) .Shows how immature you are. Assuming he had money (which most likely he doesn't) And took early retirement and just cruise the world as you seem to think. And saying he heads to the retirement home because of disease that catches your aging body ? You think your health will always be there . Do you think she would give up her life to take care of her aging/ailing husband ? You need to grow up a few years before any snide remarks about anyone working as a waitress has to put up (or Will) with your nasty hands any where on her body.. Your living in fairytale land. mom read to many fantasy books to you.
You don't get rich by climbing rocks...And I am assuming you wouldn't date a waitress ?? Guess this might just blow it with ladies that might have went out with you ?? But you apparently look down on people that do service jobs. ..You have a stinking attitude.. Grow up sir !! Grow Up !"
I see that you took some time out of your busy schedule to stalk my profile in an attempt to try to insult me. Jealous much?
Speaking of rich, I'm a CEO. As you probably noted from my profile I'm not dating on this site, I have a girlfriend. And guess how old she is? 
So while you're working there at Denny's or wherever else it is you work I want you to imagine my girlfriend and I on that cruise ship because that's my reality. And I swear to God I'm going to toast your whiny post here on the first night of that first cruise. Because I can.
And by the way, that Fairytale land you suggest I live in feels a lot like a very tight pussy from my perspective. Have a nice day, complainy-got-no-boyfriend-MATURE-woman. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 11:05:22 PM |
tick tock wrote, Or maybe...just maybe...he is an awesome guy with tons of wisdom and a personality that could charm the panties off of anyone...
I'm feeling kind of strange writing this. Heather is here with me, looking over my shoulder. Together, we've read most of this thread. She just turned 28 in August. I'll be 63 in seven weeks. Yes, that's 35 years. Next month, we'll have been dating for 1 1/2 years.
We are each independent in very different ways. Heather is a very profitable business owner. Her parents are nearly comatosed over our relationship. To appease them, she says it's just a fling. Her closest girl friends love what's happening for her. Her gang of three is now a gang of four.
Heather: I just had to say something here. I wish I'd have met this man when I was still in college five years ago. I was so tired then of the immature boys who were my age and couldn't keep a good relationship going with me for more than six weeks.
H: Their adolescence games were just too much, so I posted my profile and started hunting for a more mature man. There was certainly a lot of jerks of all ages who responded. When I received his first email, I knew it was a match b/c he sounded so much like me. He understood how I was thinking, and he charmed me like I had never imagined a man might do.
H: We exchanged email for a week or so, and each of them was more beautiful than the last. Not anything at all about the past or of our life failures. Always about our dreams and hopes, not as a couple but as individuals capable of doing whatever could be imagined. I quickly forgot about his age.
H: When we finally met, I'd have guessed he was 40-ish, and I was swept even further off my feet that first evening. WOW!! I don't have to tell you women how great it is to finally have a man touch you in all the ways you've ever dreamed about. A man who fully takes care of you and then just holds you until you're able to remember your name and speak coherently again. Come on, girls, you know exactly what I'm talking about here!
H: Thank you, TickTock. You are one of the few in this thread who got it right. He is an awesome guy and without any of the usual BS that men so often bring along. GF, I hope you find someone just as awesome. TTFN.
WOW, that's a pretty tough act to follow. She is such a talented, loving woman. Allow me to add my two cents and I'll say good night.
Like so many other beautiful young women I've sent friendly emails of praise to, I hardly imagined such a scenario as this happening. After 1 1/2 years of dating, traveling together, and living inside each other's glow, we've decided to be exclusive.
We're still not living together yet but I'm thinking that might happen in 2009. So, for us, age is just a number. When I'm in her arms, all my history, both the good and the not so good, just melt away. It's just her and I, and that's a pretty nice place to be.
If it can work for us, who am I to say it won't work for the 18/40 year old couple. I wish them all the best. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:31:55 AM |
(Msg 523) I don't agree with it at all. First of all the 18 year old hasen't even experienced being an adult yet, that given, still at an immature level in her life. So, she jumps into a relationship with a man who could be her father, where he has more experience than she has. No, it's wrong!
What kind of relationship would she have with a guy her own age? Assuming 18 year olds are immature, not yet adults, why would she be better off in a relationship with an immature, not-yet-adult rather than with someone who is mature?
(Msg 537) Not anything at all about the past or of our life failures. Always about our dreams and hopes….
I feel that’s what confuses a lot of people. While the age difference between my partner and I is only nine years we had differences in other areas such as native language, religion, culture, education, income, political views.……
People didn’t understand why we were together, how we could relate. Just as you expressed it’s not about the past. It’s about the future.
For those who have difficulty understanding an example would be, say, the difference between one who rents a small apartment and enjoys spending their money on travel and one who prefers to put their money into a nice home and take less frequent and expensive vacations. As a couple similarity/compatibility in that area is very important. It has nothing to do with what music one grew up with or what religion or what they did as a child.
The same applies to other areas of life with ones attitude towards sex being another vitally important point. Two people can be the same age, grew up in the same neighbourhood, attended the same school and lived a carbon copy childhood but one is shy and reserved sexually while the other feels it’s a celebration of life. A relationship between two such people will never be fulfilling. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 5:45:51 AM | | without reading 20-something pages of replies and only looking at the o.p., i think it doesn't matter what i think. they are both consenting adults. people have to pay for their poor decisions and failed relationships regardless of their ages or age differences. on the other hand, it's a bit presumptuous IMO to assume a 20-year age difference is an automatic death-knell to a relationship, because there's no way you can tell. if the relationship ultimately fails, will you feel righteous in saying "i told you so"? if it ultimately succeeds, will it continue to bother you because it isn't "normal"? in the end, age really doesn't have a whole lot to do with it, does it? just based on the numbers of failed marriages where both parties aren't 20-something years apart. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:17:52 AM | [msg 539] What kind of relationship would she have with a guy her own age? Assuming 18 year olds are immature, not yet adults, why would she be better off in a relationship with an immature, not-yet-adult rather than with someone who is mature?
True, however, what's wrong withan 18 yo trying a relationship with someone who is say 4 years older? How would you feel about your daughter @ 18 having relations...sexual relations shall I add with a man who's 40 years old??? | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 11:21:14 AM | what's wrong with an 18 yo trying a relationship with someone who is say 4 years older?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with her doing that. In this situation, as you've read that's not what she chose to do. If she's anything like Heather, she did go down that road and found it to be much less than she wanted.
I'm happy for her...perhaps offering more support for the non-standard decisions people around us make would allow more of them to succeed. Just my humble opinion.
How would you feel about your daughter @ 18 having...sexual relations...with a man who's 40 years old???
How would you feel is the man of your dreams just happened to be found in a man of that age? They say love is blind. At least ponder the idea for a moment. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 2:10:01 PM | I always find it really weird when there's a large gap in ages. Especially since this girl is so young! What do they have common?
Is he rich? Because that'd be more understandable!  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:27:37 PM | Is he rich? Because that'd be more understandable!
Harlow33 .....Please I invite you to look at my profile and find where I might be rich. This is something both myself and my girlfriend laugh at quite a bit. Due to an ex-wife now owning my farm and most everything I worked my entire life to garner I do NOT happen to be rich or powerful. Much of what I make goes to pay off credit card debt that my ex incurred during her "since you are divorcing me I am going to take you to the cleaners phase". What she likes about our relationship? Many things ....I cant speak for her as I am currently on the road in my rig but from what she has told me personally....she likes the way I treat her as a person , I respect her both mentally and physically, I am more experienced and so can satisfy her sexually, I have strong morals and a good work ethic..I.E. I dont sit on the couch playing X-Box half the day, When we go out we enjoy dancing, theater, and many other things. As for you finding it weird....That is your opinion others are entitled to their opinions as well but in her view she finds it weird that anyone would consider our relationship as sick or perverted. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:23:45 PM | I think people try to look into each other's lives too much. They're happy.. why should anyone frown on it or feel the need to "judge" it?
I was 23 and an ex of mine was 43. I loved him to bits and he loved me back and the age difference was always in the back of his mind and was obssessing about it. We broke up a year later thanks to the endless obssessing about the age difference. Now, 12 years later, and I can tell you honestly he was the best guy I ever met. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:27:27 PM | I was engaged to a 35 year old when I was 19. We had dated since I was a week shy of 17. We ended up not working out, but we're still best friends.
I've always dated older men. (Daddy complex, anyone?)
Age is what you make of it. If you choose to make a big deal out of it, it will be a big deal. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:22:49 PM |
Msg #543...Is he rich? Because that'd be more understandable!
I'm astounded by the kinds of contortions people go thought to justify their personal beliefs...herlow33, do you really believe that matters?
At the moment I met Heather, I had tons of cash...I'm thinking that was never a factor...when my divorce was done, I literally has squat...it didn't matter to her...well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you know what I'm trying to say...
her successful business generated way more cash than I can in the short term...she loves me for way different reasons than it seems you might understand...
I suggest you are stuck on a social myth...namely, younger women only want older men if they are rich...you read Heather's message in her own words, she sought me out because men her age didn't deliver what mattered to her...is that so tough to understand?
ps. mark twain said something like it doesn't matter what we believe, unless the things we believe aren't true... | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:29:34 PM | Msg #545...I was 23 and an ex of mine was 43. I loved him to bits and he loved me back...
funny bones, you know the real truth in this "age difference" situation...thank you for sharing your story...i'm saddened for you that you don't still have that delightful magic...
that obsession by her parents is pushing hard on heather...she's a tough cookie...still, i don't claim to know the future... | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:38:25 PM | ^^^^I feel for you about her parents. In my case though her parents do approve of us and actively participate with us socially. Her Father and I get along famously and her mom does know her way to a mans heart in the cooking department Did feel a bit weird though when her dad did the If you hurt my daughter I will kill you bit Made me feel like my first time dating which is to say thats really a good thing and we did have a good laugh and a couple of buds over the game afterwards. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:39:26 PM | Msg #545...I've always dated older men. (Daddy complex, anyone?)...Age is what you make of it. If you choose to make a big deal out of it, it will be a big deal.
pokeysrevenge, i can see you've traveled this uncomfortable road as well...i would never discount your experience of life...thanks for sharing this...
btw, as a younger man, i was also a marine...your new man is also my brother...tell him, he'll know exactly what i mean...my best wishes are sent to the two of you... | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:51:51 PM | Msg #549...If you hurt my daughter I will kill you...
fortunately, he never went that route...he's a well-respected physician (and i'm 12 years older than he is), so i'm thinking he's kind of cool about it...imho, he's just playing it tough to see if heather can stand the heat...her mom is thawing a bit but she's still not on board for more than just a fling...i guess more time will tell the final story here...
ps. as of now, i've never met her folks...they live in an adjacent town...and she has dinner with them every sunday evening...they usually talk about her dating...she just says nothing has changed...i'm still seeing david... | |
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