| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 11:21:41 PM | 18 and 40 is not ideal but its not so bad. A lot of men are handsome energetic at that age and even older. When he's 60 she will be 38- not so bad. If both of them stay healthy and fit it wouldn't be so bad up until maybe he gets close to 70. At that age he's starting to get older and shes still pretty young at 48- that's not so good. Although you never know whats going to happen in life, she could die first, you need to think about the future. I would say 15 years difference is a good rule. At 15 years they will age pretty well together. So now he's 70 and 55- not so bad.......... I saw on tv that Michael Landon's last wife was 18 when he meet her, he was maybe 48 or 50.
The thing with Anna Nichole Smith and that old man was rediculous. She was in her early 30's maybe, he was in his 80's- already a very old man. She didn't care about him as a lover. An 18 year old can care about some 40 year olds as a lover, as can 38 and 60. Look at that " Texas Walker" guys - what is his name- I think he's in his 60's a lot of younger women would take him.
Speaking of Michael Landon. Did you know in real life Adam and Hoss on Bonanza were the same age and Ben was only 13 year older than they were. So its highly unlikely he could of been their father. Now Little Joe was about 8 years younger than Hoss and Adam and about 21 years younger than Ben, so Ben Could have been his father. | |
|
| |
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 6:56:30 AM | Elvis wasn't the King of Rock and Roll either. You know, I have actually had people wanting to fight me for uttering those words alone.
***************************
I hear ya man.In my neck of the woods if someone says,"Lynard Skynard is the greatest band that ever played."You had better just slowly back away and say,"Of course they were."And then make a nice easy exit.Anything else is dangerous. | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 7:04:05 AM | | well since sience has proved that human brains don't fully develope till about age 24 and the part that controls risk accessment is the last to develop, it seems she lacked quidance | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 8:42:08 AM | | my daughter was married to a man only 6 years her senior--failed after only 5 years. she was always incredibly mature, career intensive and he was sort of meandering through his career taking whatever he was offered. now she is with a man 18 years her senior (he's closer in age to me than to her), and they are very well matched. they are both driven and each one's strongest cheerleader. he had a serious health scare last year & 2 surgeries which she stayed by his side the entire time. that's all part of loving someone she says, knowing full well he would be there with her. i couldn't be happier, and everyone says they are a very even match. it's really a head thing, isn't it? haven't we all met people in their 40's or older that are still teenagers?--and they're usually proud of it, even when they are still living off the parents (or worse yet, the government--you and me). | |
|
a_vamp
|
Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 56 | |
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 9:13:45 AM | *retch*....
Oh no wait... I dunno the whole story... better not yak too much... Ooh... did I just detect a whiff of fresh crisp dollar notes...? $ $ | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 9:21:12 AM | if they are happy..then let them be.
they are only going to prove you wrong when they have a long happy life togther. if it doesnt work out, then she (they) will learn from the mistakes and make other choices next time.
if people put as much effort into thier own relationships as they do making judgement on everyone elses..then there wouldnt be as many people here crying | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 9:28:50 AM | if people put as much effort into thier own relationships as they do making judgement on everyone elses..then there wouldnt be as many people here crying
******************
You got something there,Terminallycute.Often it seems that the ones who are the most vocal about how someone else's relationships have the most dysfunctional relationships themselves.It was either Ann Landers or Dear Abby that gave out so much marital advice and then shocked her readers when she herself ended up divorced. | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 11:50:12 AM | | I think it's gross...and very stupid. To me, 18 is the best time to be single...I was single from 18 to 24 and I kept it that way, by strict choice, bc I absolutely loved the wide array of beautiful men around me...I loved the excitement of various dates, the feelings I felt during each date, the intrigue / passion for each one...and if I can do it again, I would! I am 26 now and I love my relationship, but I know that being single is one of the best times of my life...She will either end up divorced from him by the time she is 25. She will be used/damaged goods by then....she will try to relive her life, with no success. | |
|
| |
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 11:59:12 AM | | Wasn't Mila 18 when she married then 40 year old Brian Mulroney (who used to go to****ail parties and tell friends he'd made it with every woman in the room). This appears to be the one good thing Mulroney accomplished in his life. So I don't think the 18 year old did a foolish thing. Obviously she wants someone else to make the big decisions for her and look after her, but there is nothing wrong with that either. | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 12:06:13 PM | | I totally disagree SEEEXXXYLICOUS.What worked for you may not work for somebodyelse...I am from North carolina....When my sister was 16 she got serious with a guy that was 32...I told myself it would never work in a 1000 years...They have been together for 22 years now..Not once separated..She has 2 sons by him...But she had them at 24..So it was not she was forced with him because of the kids at that age of 16...And by the way in north carolina you are consider a adult at 16 of age... cannot drink,vote,Smoke....But you can move out on your own,get married...I see all these young punks(16-22)Get these young girls pregnant,But yet half of them do not have a job,On drugs,,Listen to this way out music...If i had a daughter i would much rather have her date a older guy than to date these punks!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| |
| |
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 12:20:54 PM | | Let me put it to you like this LIVEWIRE..I work in the construction field...Most of the guys that i work with are between 35-45 years old....About less than half are married...And everytime we go out to lunch in a resturant and a waitress comes to are table that is between 18-21 years old..The very first thing these men say if i ever get a divorce they would like to date somebody that age....Now keep in mind this is in the 100s of men...I honestly have never met 1 that would not...I am being honest!!!!What is so ironic that these men on this site that claim they would not....Which is strange....Must be a different breed | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 12:30:23 PM | I know, and I guess I was being a "bit" sarcastic... But there's a huge difference between what we might want and what we can have.... Just a thought. I'm not trying to start an argument, I swear~~~~ | |
|
| |
| |
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 1:01:16 PM | Well,
There you have it. Society deciding what is best for individual's.
If they are truly happy and love each other, then things can be worked out. Depends on their characters and what they actually want out of life. They are going to have some challenges, but, you have to look at the pros and cons. That is what a marriage is about. Compromise and working out two individuals differences to live harmoniously together.
So, go to the wedding and lets celebrate! I would give them my thumbs up and say best to both of them. Honestly, looking at statistics of divorce and the way people are selfish these days. What right do any of us have to say or comment on this? I don't know these two people from a hole in the wall.
Well, here is to free will!
 | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 1:09:57 PM | | Well...I do think that girls who are that young....such as i am... should not date an older guy like that. It does turn out bad and it gets complicated. I just got out of a 7 month relationship with a 35 yr old and im 18. I am white and he is black.It was odd..especially since he had two kids from his previous marriage. Everything was good. But yeah the issues of when i wana go to a club or bar and he didnt want me to. He started getting gray hair and didnt want to do anything except stay at home. It was bad and confusing. Its kinda disgusting. And now his kids are involved and they called me mommy. So yeah it is NOT a good idea! | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 1:18:00 PM | | I would be concerned at first with her being so young, and having not really experienced life as an adult. However, the facts remain that it is their business, not hours. I'm 29 and I'm dating a man who is 20 years my senior. He's attractive, sexy, employed and GROWN UP. I don't have to Raise another kid, he's raised himself and 2 teenaged daughters successfully. We're not "serious" yet, but if given time I could see myself with him long term. Age doesn't matter if you don't let it. | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 1:58:29 PM | | That poor girl! I think that the man should be man enough to let her live her life. He should have put a stop to things before they even got into a relationship. He robbed her of the joy of experiencing life as a teenager and the struggle of being in your 20s. I think that it's wrong. When I was 35, I had an 18 year old boy want to go out with me. He was really hot, but I told him no because it was just wrong for me to go out with someone that young. He was shocked that I was as old as I was, but also agreed that the age difference was too great. I think that 10 years difference is even too much in most cases. | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 2:09:35 PM | | its all good until this girl opens her eyes and starts to see what is really out there then i believe this man will get so possesive that he will smother her. oh well maybe it wont last too long and he'll still be in his early forties and could find some real love with a woman his age | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 3:37:24 PM | Anecdotal personal experiences:
- A friend of my daughter's parents split after being together 20+ years. She was 55, he was 73 ... almost 20 years between then. Both had been married before. She went off and got into another relationship, but he, sadly, passed away not long after the breakup.
- An ex-g/f's mom married a man who was 25 when she was over 45. That was 30 years ago and their marriage is stronger than anyone else's that I know.
- I met an amazing young woman a few years ago ... she was 18 at the time and I was 42. We connect on many things: philosophy, literature, politics, religion, humor and she is extremely attractive (or at least I thought so, but part of that could have been due to the strong intellectual connection). Circumstances placed us together practically daily, although we never "dated" (or did anything romantic). I certainly considered it though. Ultimately I am glad we did not follow that path for a number of reasons, but age is only an indication of the fact differences and issues might occur. Age in itself is not the issue.
I do not think there is an age X that is the limit for someone who is age Y. For a man who is 40, how can anyone say the youngest he should date is someone who is 30? What if a wonderful woman comes along, but she is only 29? Or 28? Or 27? .... Or 18? Where is the line and how is it determined? And when you state "it is X years" think how you would feel if you met the man or woman of your dreams and he or she was just 1 year younger (or older)?
Apparently Plato said (and I would like to find the actual quote because I think it was someone else who said it), "A man should marry a women who is half his age plus seven years." Which means that a woman should marry a man who is double of seven years less than her current age.
Man's Age / Woman's Age
18 : 16
20 : 17
22 : 18
24 : 19
26 : 20
30 : 22
40 : 27
50 : 32
60 : 37
Problem is, the formula is only good for about 2 years, then he has to dump her and marry someone a year younger. *smile*
Really, if it works, it works. If a couple came to me asking if their age difference would be problematic for a long-term relationship, I might warn them about the difficulties they might face. Same as I might warn them for an interracial or interfaith or alternative lifestyle relationship. All of these can be difficult. But I would not condemn any of them. To do so is to discriminate, and I would not discriminate on the basis of sexual preference or race or religion, so why would I do so on the basis of age?
Good Luck! | |
|
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 3:51:14 PM | | Maybe because I'm feeling older (I'm 32), I don't really see an issue with it... Hey, if two people are adults and want to be with each other- it's their business.. Do I think it will work out? Probably not. Is it unusual? Sure it is. But sometimes it's just the way it goes. I find age is not always the best measure of a man or a woman... | |
|
Home
login 
