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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 6:32:56 PM | [What on earth would an 18 year old see in a 40 year old man]
sorry if this has been said already, but i reckon the real questions is what on earth does a 40 year old see in an 18 year old.... the obvious physical attraction aside...
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 7:46:26 PM | Did It!
I have to say that as an ego booster, it was really something, but in reality, it was a mistake, and I take all of the blame.
We got together in Cali, and even moved to Ga. together, I was ready to marry her, and she was ready for children (immediately). I started asking myself the many questions regarding "taking her prime away" that you had forementioned, and I believe that you are correct. I did love her, and wanted her to enjoy her life. The twenty year difference meant more than my selfishness. It was due to the fact that I cared that I asked her to go back home. I was very sorry later that I did so, but it was the correct thing to do, I just couldnt be that selfish. I do believe that a 15 year swing is ok, and maybe you can find common interests, but twenty years seems to be just "too much" in my thinking. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 8:04:03 PM | Well I've got a 19 year old barbie doll beautician telling me she wants to marry me and I'm 47.
She's been trying to find out if I'm in a relationship and asked me 4 times repeatedly recently and was most annoyed I wouldn't tell her my situation - I regard a relationship with anyone under 35 as inappropriate. She's bright and bubbly, positive minded and highly intelligent.
When she asks me how I am I tell her 'miserable as sin - leave me alone I don't want to talk about it' but she keeps coming back to talk to me. She doesn't appear to be giving up.
We're thinking here maybe that the youngster is the one at a disadvantage but myself I think the oldster is the one who's set up for failure - at some point the youngster is going to realise they've married a wrinkley and go for someone their own age.
If they like the wrinkley's then who are we to tell them to like something else? I was reading a while back about a guy in his early thirties married to a woman in her 80's - the article had a picture of the couple naked in a shower and both said the sex was great. I have ladies in their late 60's emailing me for dating on PoF.
While I don't feel right about dating someone with a large age gap who are we to really judge? | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 8:35:14 PM | My opinion is simple. I have met a lot of people in my life. A very high number of those people wanted to ruin other people's relationships, out of jealousy, and a need to control other people's lives. The rest, just wished people well, and dealt with real problems, like the men who will ensure that a man who beats a woman stays out of her life.
I have the utmost respect for men who stand up for women, and stop them being subject to domestic violence, especially by men of their own age. The people who interfere in other peoples lives when they are not wanted by either partner, and ruin their happiness, are control freaks, and I have no respect for control freaks. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 9:13:42 PM |
First of all I told her does the teenager have brain damage. What on earth would an 18 year old see in a 40 year old man.
More importantly, what does a 40-year old man see in an 18-year old girl other than her physical beauty? She's barely out of high school (assuming that she is and her life experiences would be pretty limited by default.
Sex? Absolutely.
Marriage? He must be crazy. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:16:30 AM | My x husband of 45 yrs of age,married someone 18 years his junior & 15 mine.
They married as soon as our divorce was absolute.
He has promised to see her through Univercity as she wishes to improve her job propects . The relationship is not great & she's playing around.
Am I bitter, NO. Do I think he deserves everything he gets, NO.
Though while men are attracted to women considerably younger than themselves they leave themselves open to being abused & are fooling no one but themselves that they will not be treated as a meal ticket.
I had a boyfriend of 6 yrs he was 9 yrs my junior, he moved in and lived with me for 4 yrs. I asked him to leave when I asked him to contribute more than buying our food every other week after his work changed to part time & I found the bills increasing.
I asked him to contribute to the increased bills gas, elec etc. His response was "You would have to pay your bills whether I lived here or not" To find a man nearer my own age has been my aim now for over the last year, have I been successful, NO . Is this because I am 50 & men my age want something slim & blonde not all men I hope are as naive as my X husband. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:02:44 AM |
have I been successful, NO . Is this because I am 50 & men my age want something slim & blonde not all men I hope are as naive as my X husband.
Being slim (and blonde) is easily achievable. And one should do it for their health, not for a man.(woman)
Once sick, achieving health is not so easy.
Priorities ?
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/20/2008 11:29:47 AM | | I definitely like the way you think!! I couldn't have said it any better. I've read your "messages" and just had to tell you ... we are on the "same page" ! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/20/2008 2:29:15 PM | The Inversion Complex – the depreciation of tolerance, forgiveness and selflessness within women and the simultaneous appreciation of compassion, understanding and selflessness within men, as we all age.
The Reciprocal Remedy – the pairing of older men with girls and of boys with older women.
Few things appear more ridiculous than a wrinkled, pot-bellied and bald pig who waddles around with his paw clutching the firm, little butt of a “tramp-stamped” and pierced young girl. No less droll is the sight of a yellowed-toothed cougar who lets her pancake b00bs flop around as she struts along on the arm of a boy who has oiled up his six-pack, but hasn’t yet learned to keep his ball-cap on straight, or his pants from falling down. Both the cougar and pig appear quite desperate in these obvious and pathetic attempts to hang on to their youth, by hanging off a youth. But then again, a closer look at those pairings reveal some logical practicality, as well as a seemingly malicious and yet hilarious irony that Mother Nature has put on us.
The trick, the Inversion Complex, begins with Mother Nature, who in her infinite wisdom bestows young women with an abundance of tolerance, plenty of forgiveness and truly romantic ideals, but yet limits their lust. At the same time Mother Nature deprives young men of compassion, common sense and empties their heads of almost everything except self-interest and cars, but yet puts no limit on their lust. By this alone a young man and woman couldn’t possibly be more incompatible as mates. Only disaster could result in their pairing and it usually does. In fact, the very events that brought you here, to POF, can probably testify to it.
The classic story - a young woman, driven by her romantic ideals, strives to secure a life-long promise in a diamond ring from a young man, to start a family with him and to live happily ever after. But in doing so, her tolerance and forgiveness is abused again and again. Her young man, driven only by self-interest, cheats, lies and maybe even steals from her too. What could possibly result, other than some embitterment of her heart, some depreciation of her tolerance, forgiveness and romantic ideals. So she finally dumps him. Then the cycle repeats. The young woman goes on to find another while the young man carries on with his selfish, mistaken ways.
Once the cycle has repeated a number of times, however, the young woman begins to wise up as does the young man and the Inversion Complex reaches a mid-point, a temporary equilibrium. Her misjudgments have depreciated her tolerance for his bullsh1t while his big mistakes have taken a toll on him in the form of guilt, which is right where his compassion and understanding begin to appreciate. Here it is that they find a foundation on which to truly commit and they finally march down the aisle to matrimonial bliss. She achieves her romantic ideals while he, well… finds some absolution for his selfishness and the destruction it caused.
But then come the children and priorities change. The matrimonial bliss soon turns into never-ending sacrifice and thereby domestic boredom. Who knew? Her firm, little butt puckers up with cellulite and his six-pack bloats up and falls over his belt. She becomes “sexually unavailable” and he becomes “emotionally remote.” Each starts to abandon the other. She looks to the children for the emotional connection she needs while he lets his lust, still strong, lead him astray. The equilibrium shifts and the Inversion Complex begins its final stage.
Divorce court soon follows, usually. This is right where her romantic ideals are snuffed out completely right along with her last bits of tolerance and forgiveness (as proven by the glaring hints in so many of the female POF profiles). This is also right where his selfishness clubs him so hard that he finally realizes what a complete jackass he’s always been (as is proven by similar hints in the male POF profiles). He becomes repentant and vows to transform himself into a righteous man while she becomes almost completely embittered and vows, “never again,” to tolerate or forgive the least bit of anybody’s bull. At this point the Inversion Complex is pretty much complete. He’s grown soft while she has grown hard.
Indeed, the middle-age man and woman have never been further apart emotionally, mentally or sexually. He’s no longer driven by lust, the hormones have subsided. But she is. Just as he was once always hard and ready to drop his pants at a mere smile, her hormones are raging so much that she’s always wet and quite willing to slip her panties off at a mere wink. Oh yes, it’s true… and get’s more ironic than that. Now he is the one driven by idealism. He looks for that special someone to invest in, to sacrifice for and to cherish forever. But it’s too late. She is done with all of that crap. Now that the children are old enough to look after themselves she just wants to have a good time, live life for herself and to care about nothing anymore. But it’s a bit too late for her too. All the men she meets have a ring in their pockets, a plan, finally, and a proposal pending after the first date.
So she dashes off to get pierced and tramp-stamped anyway.
Now if this Inversion Complex was drawn on a chart it would like an X, which fits rather well, actually. Imagine it… one axis is a measurement of compassion and understanding and the other axis is a measurement of time. The women start with, say, a hundred units of such while the men start with almost none and over the passage of time there is steady decline for the women and a steady incline for the men, which intersects briefly in the middle, making a great big X, which illustrates the perfectly obvious in that both men and women got it all wrong in the beginning and at the end. And there is no way to make it right, really. I mean… who can control their hormones and how can any of us change our ideals without experience, maturity or wisdom?
However, there is a fix for this – the Reciprocal Remedy, which is described at the very start of this diatribe. It seems rather evident by all of the above that men in their early forties are in the same emotional and mental place as women in their early twenties. No less apparent is that the near perfect reverse is true. So such pairings actually do proffer some practicality that’s worth a closer look, after all. Most young men are hard as often as most middle-aged women are wet and both are looking for fun times without strings. Conversely, most middle-aged men are as selfless and as devoted as most young women and in the bedroom both are, when the mood strikes, more eager to please than to be pleased. So why do women automatically think “pervert” when they see men who are with girls who are young enough to be their daughters and why do us men think “slut” when we see women who are with boys who are young enough to be our sons? It seems to me that we’d both be better off to offer our son’s phone numbers in exchange for numbers of daughter’s.
Do you think that’s sick?
Think again, as there is both cultural and historical precedent, of sorts, for such. For hundreds of years it’s been, and still is, quite acceptable in many parts of Europe for middle-aged women to have very young lovers, even several, and for middle-aged men to take young brides. Over there, the Reciprocal Remedy works on a much more pragmatic level. A parent simply wouldn’t allow a teenage daughter to marry any man who wasn’t already finished partying and who wasn’t already established and successful in his career, and therefore able to provide very comfortably. In marriage the girl would learn from his experience in the bedroom, boardroom and the ballroom and would therefore become a true lady, who’d then be well prepared for the inevitability of his death before hers. Instead of marrying again, she would protect the wealth of the estate left to her and merely take boys as lovers, who would thereby learn from her to become true gentleman, which is to say astute, mannered and skilled in each of those three rooms. And the cycle repeats.
Ya… the Reciprocal Remedy to the Inversion Complex… but somehow that all seems “sick” or perverted here in the west… when, in fact, it works so well and quite naturally…
Anyway, the next time you see that seemingly mismatched couple hanging all over each other think of this diatribe before muttering “slut” or “perv” because it just might be that they’re the ones who actually got it right. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/20/2008 5:21:58 PM | Give me a break totum spirit, but thats a load of bullshit, first thing Sport if some 40 year old guy is marrying a 18 year old, chances are they met when she was a minor, and thats wrong
Second just because A girl can imitate a woman that doesn't mean she is a woman, girls at the age are not mature enough to handle the responsibility , its not like back in the day when we were paying taxes to King George and girls marrying at 14 and being a half-illiterate housewife having 8 children in a row (as it was common 100 years ago)
Now the big question...why is it everyone thinks things are supposed to last forever? Does love last forever? Divorce rate backs that one. -totumspirit I think elevated divorce rates have to do with two things: people don't have to put up with crap anymore and women aren't financially dependent anymore. If there is no stigma associated with divorce, you don't have to continue with a facade marriage, as it often happened in the past. Also, if you are able to make a living on your own, then you're not tied to your partner.
It is sad so many that disagree with this thread are the ones that are jealous that it is not them.totum spirit Jealous?? yeah ok, I want to marry a young girl so she can be my June Cleaver  sorry bud I dont see the logic behind that one, any man that age that has to resort to picking up teenagers is probably not too mature, bright, some kind of perv , cant relate to women his age ( notice I said woman, not girls) tell him to see a therapist about his inadequacy issues | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 1:11:59 AM | I think shell get a lot ( 75% ) when she leaves him for a dude within a few yrs of her age In around 4 - 6 yrs - easier then working 20 yrs to get It  | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 2:15:48 AM | What do I think of 18-year old girls who marry 40-year old men?
I have a subconscious feeling that the middle-aged crowd, with their careers and wealth and apparently attractive receding hairlines, are stealing from my hunting grounds, LOL. A friend of mine described it as "like a lion taking the meat from us young fledglings, leaving us with only the scraps." There was a girl the same age as me (20) that I wanted to date, but she only goes for much older men. She was taken up to Boston with him for some reason or another. I have to admit, I was a little annoyed when she was fawning over a letter from him, a part of which described his favorite cartoons from the '70s! The gut reaction for me is to ask why a middle-aged man with a receding hairline and crows' feet who she doesn't even know and whom she has no common interests with is more attractive than a young and athletic man like myself.
I had a similar "gut reaction" when, after a Mass at my church had ended and I was leaving the building, I saw the most beautiful woman ever (I still believe that today), dressed in a tight, purple cashmere full-length coat and a beautiful black lace mantilla veil over her hair. She had to be between 19 and 22. I was about to approach her and say hi, but then she reached out and held hands with a man who I thought was her father. He must have been over 40. I saw the weddings rings on their hands, and that was the end of that. And something really felt wrong after he started resting his hand on her butt. I suppose I shouldn't judge, though.
Again, these are just "gut reactions" I'm describing, not thought-out and reasoned statements. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 3:42:09 AM | What on earth would an 18 year old see in a 40 year old man (?)
If two people are indeed compatible, what on earth has age got to do with it? If she should get involved with someone younger, does that relationship have to be any better ? A 40 year old man may just have a bit more experience in life - so who are you or I to judge? Frankly, I think that the idea of people very being close to the same age, is little more than immature school-age stuff. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 4:04:16 AM | Elvira36 said,
...or lengthening her bank balance by starting an early marriage, and shortening the life of the 40YO,..... clever girl and a brainless dude or lengthening her bank balance by starting an early marriage, and shortening the life of the 40YO,..... clever girl and a brainless dude!!! Does everything revolve around having money for you, Elvira? That's very sad and I have some pity for people like you! | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 6:09:08 AM | I like to date younger women but if I marry one she will be older than 18...
she should be around 21-27... UNLESS.......
I'm 72, when she could be older, maybe 35.
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 9:09:03 AM | i wonder why so many seem to think they no better about what works and what doesn't on a single site with all there first hand experience being with there own failed relationship.damaged goods ..the fact is some like older ..some like younger.. some like black ..some like white ,,some like slim ..some like chubby..some like tall some like short ..got it ?this young girl likes older men and this older man likes younger women ..i say accept there choice ,,it happens ,,there is obviously some inner beauty they both seem to have connected with .stop trying to find the answers by only looking at there appearance or age or financial situation.this isn't the first time this has happened and it wont be the last .and as far as working out ?what does work out ???we are here aren't we ??i say the couples who hook up and move on off of here are doing something right .
.stop knocking the couple .age is only a number .. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 9:25:45 AM | Cutting short? You and I both know it ... mind you, WE have life's experiences to fall by. She doesn't, but try telling an eighTEEN year old this and ...
The reality of it - she like the MONEY and the facade of having a daddy-figure (sorry guys, but with us girls at that age if you are as old as the guy is and STOOPID enough to actually think that love is possible, than you deserve it - drain the bank account away!!) and looking more mature than the other girls she hangs with. Just like it was back when a senior would ask you out if you were a junior ... plus I am sure the "Playboy Bunny" crap they sell at Spencers doesn't help (planting the seed). Point blank gold digger - but I am sure the guy doesn't seem to mind, he has a trophy teenybopper ... er, I mean girl friend (just like Gene Simmons and Hugh Heffner have their groupies). You know as well as I do that they'd have NOTHING in common except for their genitalia, ah, but isn't that the NEW American way?
Other reality - yes, it's not only cutting a life short, but it's also f***ing with her head. She (at 18) is not even close to reaching her psychological peak and my personal opinion is that it is SICK that a guy would take advantage of that ... if he is so mature (at 40 - I pray to God so) enough to know she is still a child ... and it also makes me wonder what the damage is with this guy if he has to find company in an 18 year old in the first place? Can't keep up with the big girls? Guys like that should seriously be herded into mass mental hospitals ... but then again, when society shows 16 year olds on anti-age cream commercials, who is to know what is up and what is down anymore?
Screwy, isn't it? Oh, one more thing, if someone ever told me that my daughter was screwing around with my 18 year old daughter, I would hunt him down and do things I could be arrested for ... get the point? I am sure the feeling is mutual on your end ... | |
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Kynnie
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Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 121 | |
| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 9:26:45 AM | RE: Msg 110 and 118
Umm...yeah...
Hate to point this out but umm...this is the 21st Century and this is Western Culture.
What it is not... is real life based on Dangerous Liasons in the 1800's.
All that "logical" crap was devised for stereotypical roles and the further monetary movement of the daughter & family...it had absolutely nothing to do with emotional wellbeing and maturity matching.
18 yr olds are more than capable of building their own lives, fortunes etc without falling into relationships & marriages with men who are old enough to be their fathers.
Infact...in this day and age...because women are not defined or limited to life by marriage & their "roles" as women...there is absolutely nothing an older man has to offer a younger woman except possibly an assured premature death & money that she doesnt need... which effectively makes Older Man obsolete.
Young women dont want him cos they dont need him, older women dont want or need him with his history of selfish behavior...there's only one other option left for Old Man...purchase a Bride. Ha!
Here's a wild idea!...how about being good fathers as Old Man...teaching sons to have integrity, self control, manners and all those wonderful idealistic qualities that older men supposedly have learnt through a lifetime of loss.
Begin a revolution of boundaries & ethics & selflessness & duty at *gasp*...the age of innocence & beginnings...where the outcome is 40 & 50 year happy marriages, children & grandchilden and wealth accumulated together through hard work.
Cos it does work you know...ie. teaching children what is and isnt acceptable behavior and that there are consequences to your actions rather than becoming blase & indifferent & tolerating.
So that when two young ones...move innocently & naturally into the wedded bliss of matrimony with their kindred aged spirit...its not about the individual...its about them both.
What its not about is...Old Man arguing (albeit more maturely) for something he wants yet again...and for no better reason than he's as selfish as he was in his Youth.
^^^THAT is the benefit of being Old Woman...you've learned to see right thru the bullsh!t | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 9:36:00 AM | | When I was 18 I sure didn't want to see a 40 year old man naked! There would have had to be some exceptional perks to this arrangement. Forget the perks. At that age I would not have given up my dating and single life for what at that time I would have perceived an old man. | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:12:28 AM | "Excellent post, The Next One!
It's nice to see logic which, unfortunately, is rare on these boards. /"
Thanks dave1234!
I've had all that on my mind for a while and it was good to vent a little... | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:24:48 AM | Re: msg 121 by Kynnie...
Geez... I think you missed the point of what i was trying to say. To sum it up... an older man does indeed have a lot to offer a younger woman, just as the older woman has plenty to offer a young man. Critical life experience in both situations. Even better, is that these two pairings are good mental and emotional matches too... they're sharing the same "head-space"...
And YOUR point about teaching children what is and isn't acceptable behaviour supports exactly what I said... yes it does work and this is one ways that life skills are passed on... | |
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| 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:25:04 AM | Damn... if only someone could convince Woody Allen to post in this thread...
Well, how about Fagan, then:
-----------------------------------
Hey 19
No, we can't dance together
No, we can't talk at all
Please take me along when you slide on down...
-----------------------------------
re: OP-- I'm sure her taste in music (or just about anything else for that matter) will just absolutely enthrall the coot... and vice-versa, to be sure.
Ah, well... maybe they'll spend a lot of time "holding hands and taking long walks on the beach..."
(awwwwwwwwww) | |
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