| Short Men
Posted: 12/23/2008 8:20:27 PM | | I really like to look a guy in the eyes. A guy my height is just fine. And, um, I like to have sex standing, so being the same height works really well. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:07:41 AM |
I really like to look a guy in the eyes. A guy my height is just fine. And, um, I like to have sex standing, so being the same height works really well.
Well, that shut everyone up!  | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 12/27/2008 8:19:17 AM | | What I've noticed is that it tends to narrow the field in terms of the women who would be interested in me if I were taller. Of course I wouldn't want a woman "settling" for me; that's not fair for either of us however I can't help but to wonder sometimes how much more interest I might garner if I were that magical few inches taller. And I'm somewhat reluctant to contact women I might have a fair amount in common with based on a profile if she's at or near my height based on the assumption she'll want someone taller.....so I'll just view their profile and let them decide if they might be interested. Anyway there does seem to be a built in disadvantage for a shorter man in the dating world but of course if you have enough going for you otherwise it can somewhat offset the lack of height. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 12/27/2008 3:57:47 PM | to all the wonderful women that posted something like this on this thread
"short guys are hot!"
here is my number xxx-xxx-xxxx 
feel free to call collect!  | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:06:15 AM |
Tall or short, you need to pick a man with integrity.
Thank you. I'd like to think the majority of us do dig deeper than physical characteristics.
I like hot men and hot men are taller than me. Its nothing personal against short men.
I the past, I'd read that and think, "There it is, the dealbreaker." Then I'd go and pout about being short and that there was nothing I could do about it. What a waste of time that was! I don't see it as my loss anymore. First off I wouldn't want to be with a woman who for whatever reason, was against being with a short guy. That is the same thing when women hear a guy that only likes women with big breasts, you wouldn't want to be with a guy like that so why would you take it personally? It's their hang up, not yours. There are times I admit I wish I was taller but more so for work than any other reason. I've always felt in whatever job I had that I had to work twice as hard to prove my worth. After I took a long hard look around I realized that the only one I was trying to prove something to was myself. That's when I realized I needed to get over myself, and just accept myself for who I am and anyone that chooses not to is NOT someone I want to invest my time in. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 7:02:33 AM | | I have nothing against men shorter than myself. What I have a problem with is a man who has on his profile that he's 5'10", insists on the phone that he's 5'10", but when we meet, he's only 5'4". That's what ticks me off and is the deal breaker, no matter how wonderful he may be otherwise. If he's not comfortable with his height, then he's not comfortable with who he is. And lying is a huge red flag for me, no matter how inconsequential the lie may seem to him. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 7:48:27 AM |
What I have a problem with is a man who has on his profile that he's 5'10", insists on the phone that he's 5'10", but when we meet, he's only 5'4". That's what ticks me off and is the deal breaker, no matter how wonderful he may be otherwise. If he's not comfortable with his height, then he's not comfortable with who he is. And lying is a huge red flag for me, no matter how inconsequential the lie may seem to him.
It's hard to believe that a man who was 5'4" would put 5'10" on his profile. He was probably 5'8" or something and you misjudged his height.
But more importantly, if a guy is really 5'4"...it would make sense for him to lie. 5'10" would be a bit too much, but the strategy is still sound. There are more women who will reject him for his height than would reject him for lying and so it only make sense to lie. Dating is a numbers game. Also, a 5'4" guy can be totally comfortable with his height and still lie about it. This is because his height is not his problem...it's the problem of the insecure women who reject him on the basis of his height. So by lying about it, he will get more "initial hits" which he might be able to convert to successful dates.
Plus, if you didn't care about his height...why did you ask him AGAIN how tall he was over the phone? I think he did the right thing by lying. He didn't really owe you anything and you didn't owe him anything. You take a chance, and that's how it works.
 | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:56:16 AM | | I disagree Jonathan. I'"m 5'5" and I understand what you are saying because I've often wondered if responses would be different if I added a couple of inches to my stated height. But the bottom line is, someone is going to have to like me for who I am so I might as well be honest about it. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:37:29 AM | I don't condone any guy lying about his height. And it makes it tough for guys like me that are honest about their height (5-7 in my case) because women assume most shorter guys are adding a couple of inches. Plus I never understood anyway why anyone would misrepresent themselves on their profile because eventually it will become apparent who you actually are.
The poster who explained that the problem is not necessarily with the short guy but the insecure woman who won't date him is very correct. Too many times the guy is the one accused of having an issue with his height when often the reverse is true. And I've always believed most short guys lile myself have to posess alot more mental toughness to deal with the higher level of rejection than a taller guy has to endure.
Ultimately though it comes down to being a decent person who is likeable and fun to be around. However while most women here may say they want a nice, and genuine guy......that only applies if he's tall enough in many cases. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:42:43 AM | | A lie is a lie. Anyone who lies about themselves prior to meeting deserves to have the person they are meeting turn right around and leave without so much as a goodbye. It is not acceptable under any circumstances. Either be honest with people about your physical appearance or stay out of the dating game. No one is interested in liars. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 1:38:16 PM | | Do people who post pictures that are 10 years old benefit when the people they meet reject them? How about the ones who list "no" for kids on their profile because their kids don't live with them? A short guy is wasting his energy going for a girl who cares about height. Why not focus on the ones that don't care? If a girl cares about it online she's going to care about it in person. We all want someone who wants us for who and what we are not in spite of it. How great can a person feel when they're on a date with someone who had to be manipulated into being there? | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:55:06 PM | Plus, if you didn't care about his height...why did you ask him AGAIN how tall he was over the phone? I think he did the right thing by lying. He didn't really owe you anything and you didn't owe him anything. You take a chance, and that's how it works.
I didn't ask him AGAIN how tall he was. When we moved to phone conversations, he once again volunteered his basic "stats" (age, height, etc).
Edit to add: I didn't misjudge his height. I'm 5'6" and he was a couple inches shorter than me in real life. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:57:41 PM | 1. No, women don't like short guys. If they did like short guys, then there would be no need for a forum like this one.
2. We have a chance to date, just have alot of money and a good paying job. Remember, having a large bank account can add inches to your height, penis, and how attractive you are. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:21:33 PM | I don't condone any guy lying about his height. And it makes it tough for guys like me that are honest about their height (5-7 in my case) because women assume most shorter guys are adding a couple of inches.
So now, a short guy shouldn't lie about his height for the benefit of guys who are taller than him? That makes no sense (no offense). The short guy owes you (his competition) even LESS than he owes the woman who he's trying to date. It's a jungle out there. No one owes anyone anything. If lying improves a guy's (or woman's) chances at finding love...then more power to them. They are taking a risk for lying and we all take a risk when we agree to a date with someone.
It's just that in the case of a short man; the risk of the lie is much less than the risk that comes with simply being how God made you. A short guy on this site once changed his height by making himself several inches taller. He wanted to see if he would get different results with the same profile. When he posted his true height at 5'5", he got zero hits over a four month period. Then he took the exact same profile and picture and made his height 6'0" tall. He got 72 hits during the same four months. He didn't accept any dates with them, but he was able to prove a point to himself.
This has nothing to do with short men, but about others who believe them to be inferior for various reasons. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that a short guy who doesn't lie about his height is putting too much emphasis on his height. It's like he's saying "I believe that my height is so important that I'd rather be single forever than to forsake my height and lie so that I may get a date".
Plus I never understood anyway why anyone would misrepresent themselves on their profile because eventually it will become apparent who you actually are.
This is an easy one. The answer lies in the phenomenon of "selection error". What I mean is that the people who care about what you are misrepresenting (in this case, height) would not have gone out with you in the first place if they had known the truth. So that's a wash. BUT, the people who don't care about what you are misrepresenting will NOT EVEN NOTICE that you lied. So the misrepresentation can sometimes be a win/win. You get to weed out the shallow people and still date the people who don't care about what you are lying about. The only time that this logic won't work is when the person is rejected for the misrepresentation itself, and not for the underlying disfavored characteristic. However, this is rarely the case with height. In 99.99% of the cases, a woman cares more about the height than the lie. I can prove this to be true, if anyone cares to know.
The poster who explained that the problem is not necessarily with the short guy but the insecure woman who won't date him is very correct. Too many times the guy is the one accused of having an issue with his height when often the reverse is true. And I've always believed most short guys lile myself have to posses a lot more mental toughness to deal with the higher level of rejection than a taller guy has to endure.
I can see that. But most women aren't going to attribute ANY positive characteristics to a guy BECAUSE he is short. They will attribute positive characteristics to a tall man, based on his height. But generally, only negative characteristics are attributed to a man's short stature...be they true or imagined.
Ultimately though it comes down to being a decent person who is likeable and fun to be around
That's AFTER you've already got the date. How are you going to get the date?
owever while most women here may say they want a nice, and genuine guy......that only applies if he's tall enough in many cases.
Hence, the purpose of the lie.
| |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:22:45 PM |
I have nothing against men shorter than myself. What I have a problem with is a man who has on his profile that he's 5'10", insists on the phone that he's 5'10", but when we meet, he's only 5'4". That's what ticks me off and is the deal breaker, no matter how wonderful he may be otherwise.
How many men have you dated whom are shorter than you?
| |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:33:30 PM |
Do people who post pictures that are 10 years old benefit when the people they meet reject them? How about the ones who list "no" for kids on their profile because their kids don't live with them?
Yes...all those people benefit by lying. A 40 year old woman has a better chance of landing a man if she says she's 30. This is a fact...whether we like it or not.
A short guy is wasting his energy going for a girl who cares about height. Why not focus on the ones that don't care?
Two reasons, I assume:
1) The pool of women who don't care about height is infinitesimally small. It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
2) How would a short guy know the "I don't hate your height" women from the "I hate you" women? 
We all want someone who wants us for who and what we are not in spite of it.
We all want that...but I don't know that this is possible for a short guy. First of all, height does not make the man. So a man might be giving his short stature too much power by insisting on a woman who loves his short stature. I don't see anything wrong with finding a woman who doesn't like short men, but whom likes a particular short man because of his other qualities.
And usually, that's how it happens.
Do you know ANY women who prefer short men over tall men? I don't. I'm not saying that they don't exist. I'm saying that I've never met one. And yet, short men still find love and get married. Why is that? The answer is that women are loving short men "in spite" of their height. You can even see this in the language women use when they talk about the short guy in their life. They'll say things like "He's short, BUT ". Or they'll say, "I don't mind dating a short man if he doesn't have a Napoleon Complex" (read: "I don't date short men because they are inferior to me...but I will date a short man who is different from how I judge other short men").
So yeah...no one wants someone to want us "in spite of what we are"...but this is often the best option for a very short guy.
Hey...don't kill the messenger people. I'm on short guy's side.
| |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:14:53 AM | Sorry Jon I have to disagree with you on a couple of points. While it's true a guy who lists his height as 6-0 as opposed to 5-6 will receive a greater number of replies it is no excuse to lie. And women regardless if they care about a mans height or not will ALWAYS care when he lies. If he's trying to deceive her from the beginning then how can she trust him? Plus if she's been lied to then she won't feel the need to be completely honest either. Relationships are tough enough and you can't build a solid one when people are mistrusting of each other.
I do agree with you though that when a guy's short his positive attributes will be overlooked because he's still lacking in height which often times is an automatic deal-breaker. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:34:53 AM | | Jonathan, you are the reason so many women don't want to date short guys. Get over it. You can't change your height but you can change your attitude. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:44:22 AM |
And women regardless if they care about a mans height or not will ALWAYS care when he lies.
Oh really?
I can prove this to be false through a simple thought experiment. It only requires that you be honest with yourself and truly think about what would happen in the scenario.
Imagine that a guy puts up a profile on POF in which he claims to be 5'9". Imagine now that five different random women view his profile and like what they see. Now imagine that he chats with all five of these women and he sets up dates with them. He plans to date one on Monday, one on Tuesday, one on Wednesday, etc.
Now imagine that he shows up to each date, except instead of being 5'9". . . . he is actually 6'0". Now, he has lied about his height. Of the five women, how many would you honestly expect would reject him for the lie?
If you are honest with yourself, you should reply "zero". None of the women would reject him because he lied about his height and is taller than he claimed. Some might question him or assume that it must be an honest mistake, but none would simply reject him because he lied. That is because the height is more important than the lie.
Now imagine the same scenario...except this time, the guy shows up as 5'6" instead of his claimed 5'9". Notice that the magnitude of the lie is the same (3 inches of height). But how many of the women would reject him this time? Four out of five? All five? I don't know. But I know that more would reject him for lying about three inches in this direction than three inches in the other direction. Therefore, it's not about the lie, it's about the height. The women who would "reject him for the lie" are the same women who wouldn't have scheduled a date in the first place if they knew the truth. Therefore, he loses nothing by lying. He actually increases the number of potential dates he goes on.
| |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:46:33 AM |
Jonathan, you are the reason so many women don't want to date short guys. Get over it. You can't change your height but you can change your attitude.
I'm 5'10". I don't consider myself short. But the issue interests me.
But, I find it interesting that you assumed that I muse be short. So now that you know that I'm average height...what does that say about my "attitude"?
 | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:56:33 AM |
I'm 5'10".
I don't' believe that for one second jonathan and neither does anyone else. Every single short guy thread you participate in . Don't think you are fooling anyone. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:02:47 AM | Actually I think the women would be confused; after all I certainly am. Why would any guy knowing women prefer tall height list himself as shorter than he really is? I think in this case they would reject him based on eccentricity. But point taken they probably wouldn't reject him because they were getting more than they bargained for.
However the guy who is short already has a strike against him with a lot of girls therefore the fact he lied will provide the perfect reason for the woman to reject him and at the same time she won't have to admit it's in part due to his lack of height.
Just curious Jon as I see your height listed as 5-11 (which is usually adequate for most girls) have you ever considered adding an inch to your height knowing six foot is often a magical number most women would consider an ideal height for their mate. Once again not saying you're not tall enough but do you wonder if your responses would be greater if the listing was six foot? | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:04:17 AM |
I don't' believe that for one second jonathan and neither does anyone else. Every single short guy thread you participate in . Don't think you are fooling anyone
I'm not going to go into my history or how I came across this topic...but it doesn't really matter if you believe me. I'm average height at 5'10".
So, I guess if a woman is concerned about how fat women are treated by men...she too must be fat?
| |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:16:45 AM |
I'm 5'10". I don't consider myself short. But the issue interests me.
But, I find it interesting that you assumed that I muse be short. So now that you know that I'm average height...what does that say about my "attitude"?
Why is it so interesting? It's not exactly a stretch to figure that if you're posting here with such passion you would be below average height.
Maybe you're only 5'10" until the woman who agrees to meet you sees you're actually 4 inches shorter. Maybe you are in fact 5'10" as you say here; Or 5'11" as you apparently state in your profile. Maybe your interest in the subject is based on someone you know who is challenged by his smaller stature. It doesn't really matter.
No matter what you feel is holding you back from dating successfully, you either change it if you can or get over it. There are all kinds of couples out there and the happy ones didn't have to trick anyone into dating them. | |
|
| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:17:51 AM |
However the guy who is short already has a strike against him with a lot of girls therefore the fact he lied will provide the perfect reason for the woman to reject him and at the same time she won't have to admit it's in part due to his lack of height
This was the whole point of the scenario. Women care about the height more than the lie. They only use the "lie" as a pretense for rejection so that they seem less shallow. And, it's not "in part due to his height"...it's 100% due to that. The "I rejected him for lying" is pure pretense.
Therefore, there is no problem with a short guy lying. He would have been rejected any way by those types of women. It's a wash. He only increases the number of dates he goes on. He must first go on the date if he wants a chance to overcome her height bias. You've got to be in it to win it.
Just curious Jon as I see your height listed as 5-11 (which is usually adequate for most girls) have you ever considered adding an inch to your height knowing six foot is often a magical number most women would consider an ideal height for their mate. Once again not saying you're not tall enough but do you wonder if your responses would be greater if the listing was six foot?
I've already added an inch to my height. I'm really 5'10", but whose going to notice one inch? The reason I didn't go two inches is because I'm tall enough for that not to matter. Also, people get more "offended" if you claim to be 6'0" and you are not. For some reason, our society deems 6'0" as some "magical number". It's apparently blasphemous to claim 6'0" when you are shorter, but not so bad to claim 5'11"...go figure.
It probably has to do with the standard units of measurements. If our society used the metric system, then it probably wouldn't matter. 6'0" tall sounds "special" to women. But 183cm probably seems less so.
And yes, my responses (if I were looking on this site) would increase if I were 6'0". But if I were shorter, it would increase more. For instance, a 5'10" man get's less benefit claiming 5'11" than a 5'6" man would benefit from claiming 5'7".
Also...there is no such thing as "tall enough". It's all in the minds of women. There is nothing wrong with being 5'4" as a guy. There is nothing wrong with being 6'8" as a guy. Height is not good or bad...it's just a physical characteristic that has no connection to your physical health or well-being (except for the discriminatory factor).
| |
|
Home
login 
