| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:53:12 AM |
1. Why women don't like short guys?
I'm short 5' 1/2" - must guys are taller than me. I've tried meeting men on POF who would be considered short. I tend to lose interest because they lack self-confidence and I become annoyed. If I were to meet someone who is considered to be short and he possessed self-confidence (no arrogance), his height would be a non-issue.
2. Do Short guys ever stand a chance of dating?
Absolutely. Ever heard "Fake it till you make it"? I'd give that a shot if I were you. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:03:41 AM |
I've tried meeting men on POF who would be considered short. I tend to lose interest because they lack self-confidence and I become annoyed. If I were to meet someone who is considered to be short and he possessed self-confidence (no arrogance), his height would be a non-issue.
Short men supposedly lack self confidence, but the ones who have it might be "arrogant"? Huuummm. This is most likely a perception issue. Have you ever met a self-confident short man?
There are plenty of self-confident short men (in my experience, most short men are no more or less confident than tall men). But when a short man displays confidence, he is seen by others as having a "napoleon complex". If a tall man demonstrates the same self-confidence, he is seen by others as being an "alpha male".
Absolutely. Ever heard "Fake it till you make it"? I'd give that a shot if I were you
This is what I've been saying about lying. Short guy's should fake their height until they've met a woman who isn't hung up on height.
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:04:58 AM | If a man told me he was 5'7" but was really 6', I'd still consider him a liar and his taller height would not make the lying OK. A lie is a lie no matter how its sliced.
I am 6' in bare feet and am aware that most men are shorter than me. Would I prefer a tall man? Sure, I would but it's a only a preference, its not mandatory or a dealbreaker to be 6' or taller to date me.
What is a deal breaker is when an expectation has been offered and the guy turns out to be anything than what I expected. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:09:02 AM | | I would have to say that it just seems weird to have a guy that is shorter than me can't really explain it though. I just find taller guys more attractive, although I don't prefer a guy that towers over me. I tend to look for someone who is 3-4 inches taller. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:18:12 AM | | In a nutshell survivor sums it up.....she like most girls find taller guys more attractive. And that's why it makes no sense to lie....because they will meet you and will not find you attractive. So why bother to waste a girls time and at the same time have to walk away disapointed. No matter how many rejections/disapointments I've had to face in my lifetime I would never resort to lying about my height. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 11:09:21 AM | In a nutshell survivor sums it up.....she like most girls find taller guys more attractive. And that's why it makes no sense to lie....because they will meet you and will not find you attractive. So why bother to waste a girls time and at the same time have to walk away disapointed. No matter how many rejections/disapointments I've had to face in my lifetime I would never resort to lying about my height.
So, we know that most women find taller guys more attractive. Are you saying then that short men should shoot themselves? Why should a short man be concerned about the feelings of a woman who would reject him because of how God made him?
The issue is that without seeing a woman in person, a short man is not going to know the women who find short men unattractive from the women who can be persuaded to give him a chance. In most cases, we've already established that short men enter into happy relationships with women because the women get over themselves...not because they find the needle-in-a-haystack woman who likes shorter men over taller men.
And that's why it makes no sense to lie....because they will meet you and will not find you attractive.
How do you know this? If this were true, then short men would NEVER enter relationships...and yet, they do. Granted, they do so at a much lesser rate than taller men, but short men usually find women to date.
You don't know whether a woman will find you attractive enough until you meet her IN PERSON.
So why bother to waste a girls time and at the same time have to walk away disapointed.
Because a short man should have NO CONCERN for the feelings or "time" of a woman who is hung up on height. A short man cannot know the good women from the bad until he meets them in person. And he shouldn't concern himself with those women who will be disappointed. That's their problem, not the short man's problem.
No matter how many rejections/disapointments I've had to face in my lifetime I would never resort to lying about my height.
Then you might have a Complex (if such a thing exists). You are giving so much power to your short stature that you are shutting yourself out of the dating game. You yourself have said that the rejections you've faced over your height have been so numerous that you've stopped contacted women all together. This is totally the wrong approach. You already have nothing to lose (apparently)...so why not lie so that you can meet more women. Yes, some will be "disappointed"...but who cares about them anyway?
Dating is not for the weak. Get out there, my friend. Create a new profile and lie about your height. If your height isn't really the sum of your being (which it shouldn't be), then you should be able to lie about it. Just don't get carried away. No more than three inches.
Good luck.
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 11:27:26 AM | People seem to be hung up about height in men but as a tall woman who has dated men taller than me (6') I can tell you from experience that tall men are no better in bed/better endowed than shorter men, no wealthier than shorter men, no more courteous than short men, no more intelligent than shorter men, no more anything than their shorter counterparts.
An intelligent, confident man will not make the erroneous assumption that I will not date him because I am taller than him. And an intelligent, confident man will not use his height as an excuse when I say "Sorry, we're not a match".
My grandma who was a couple inches taller than my grandpa used to tell me when I was a teenager "We're all the same height when we go to bed at night ." | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 11:27:55 AM | I am 5'6" & saying I am really 5'9" is going to be seen as obviously false.... as I am not average height .... but SHORT. Women are FIXATED on tall men in our modern western culture . My upbringing has formed my personality & contributed to my personal successes ... & has not been hindered by my height. Women like me & befriend me ..... they do not date me because of THEIR social conditioning. Thus if I do happen to cross paths with a women that will go beyond friendship ..... so be it. It will be based on truth & honesty which forms trust ..... which is needed in a relationship. Life does not give us all that we want on a silver platter & I can only be me, true to myself & others ......... & that is the most important start. Cheers. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 11:31:16 AM | But I'm not content with the concept of having to "persuade" a woman who might otherwise want a taller man to date me. In my experiences the old saying "the leopard doesn't change his spots" has rung true and I wouldn't want to feel as though someone "settled" for me. Or that I should thank my lucky stars she "gave me a chance" because I'd be better off by myself.
I don't feel as though I'm shutting myself out of the dating game but rather taking a step back. The fact I still have a profile here indicates I still have an interest in finding someone but I'm just not as active as I previously was. If it happens it happens but given my past experiences I'm less certain about the likelihood.
And no my height, at least in my opinion, is not the sum total of who I am. Unfortunately that's not the way many women here see it. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 12:08:12 PM | But I'm not content with the concept of having to "persuade" a woman who might otherwise want a taller man to date me. In my experiences the old saying "the leopard doesn't change his spots" has rung true and I wouldn't want to feel as though someone "settled" for me. Or that I should thank my lucky stars she "gave me a chance" because I'd be better off by myself.
aaaaauuuggh!
All men have to persuade women to go for them. That's the name of the game. Plus, dating is a numbers game and so you have to be in it to win it. Get it out of your head that there is some magical woman out there who prefers short men to tall men and that she is just waiting for that honest short man for her to contact him. That ain't happening.
You have to be 100x more aggressive than you're being now.
Plus, the idea that "a leopard doesn't change his spots" refers to male leopards, not female ones. I've got several female friends. Some of them are with "short men" and are very happy. But I have heard all of those women say that they could NEVER even consider dating a man shorter than such-and-such height. Women don't know what they want, and their minds are easily changed once a man gets in their head.
Our society is fixated on height, and so that's why women seem more dramatic about it than any other thing that they might find unattractive. However, once a woman falls in love, then she will like everything that her lover represents. Suddenly, she will like bald men, even though she refused to date one in the past. Suddenly, she won't think money is so important and that a man's wealth resides in his kind heart  . Trust me, women change their minds constantly.
But the only way to do that is to meet them in person and kill them with your charm. What's the worst that can happen? She gets a free meal in exchange for having to spend one hour of dinner with *gasp* a SHORT MAN in a semi-romantic context. How embarrassing for her . But, the good news is that you'll be doing other short guys a favor, even if you don't get that particular girl.
Our culture is so biased against short men that there are some women out there whose worst nightmare is to be seen with a short man in public. It would do these women some good to be put in a situation which proves that short men are really no different from tall men. It's not going to change her overnight, but it should help things out for your fellow short brothers.
And no my height, at least in my opinion, is not the sum total of who I am. Unfortunately that's not the way many women here see it.
Here or anywhere else in our culture. For many (most?) women, a short man's height is all the woman needs to know about the guy. Nothing else matters. But that's the reason why you should lie about it. You only have a shot once you are on the date. You have NO SHOT if they shoot your down before they read any of your profile...which they will do when they see your height.
Again...good luck, my friend.
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:33:36 PM | I'm one of the unlucky few that does not receive many (if any) responses at all. And I consider myself short. I'm 5'2".
By the way, thanks to all the nice ladies who prefer short men!! I hope I get to meet someone like that. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:00:06 PM | Because a short man should have NO CONCERN for the feelings or "time" of a woman who is hung up on height. A short man cannot know the good women from the bad until he meets them in person. What a bunch of judgmental elitist crap. Who made you the determiner of good and bad based on what a person finds attractive? You treat people well because it's who you are not because the other person is good or bad based on your judgments. That's just sickening. I'll tell a guy I'm athletic build and when he meets me and I'm really carting around an extra 100 pounds it's on him for being deceived. Besides I don't "owe" him honesty because I wouldn't have had a chance if he knew I wasn't what he expected. You're dreaming up a terrible world there Doeman in your pursuit for an idealized one for short men. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:30:26 PM |
What a bunch of judgmental elitist crap. Who made you the determiner of good and bad based on what a person finds attractive?
No one made me the determiner of good and bad people. But it would be totally reasonable for a short man to judge a woman who would judge him based on his height, without knowing anything about him, as a bad person. Or at least a shallow person whom he should want nothing to do with. Is that so "elitist"? Why should a short man want to be with a woman who is so shallow that she absolutely refuses to acknowledge his existence because of how many inches his eyebrows are from the ground?
You treat people well because it's who you are not because the other person is good or bad based on your judgments.
This has nothing to do with "treating people well". A short man is not "treating people badly" by lying about his height. If the woman is so humiliated to be seen in public with a short man, then whose problem is that? You're blaming the short man, and I'm blaming the woman. It's not a matter of "treating people well/badly".
That's just sickening. I'll tell a guy I'm athletic build and when he meets me and I'm really carting around an extra 100 pounds it's on him for being deceived. Besides I don't "owe" him honesty because I wouldn't have had a chance if he knew I wasn't what he expected.
Exactly.
Except there is one small difference. A women who is 100 lbs overweight has a much bigger pool of men who will accept her than a 5'4" man has women who will accept him. Additionally, don't you find it strange that things that men tend to find unattractive (such as excessive weight) are given vague euphemisms like "average", "athletic", and BBW, while the things that women tend to find unattractive (such as short stature) are required to be given with exact specificity (such as 5'10" instead of "average height")?
Just some...well...food for thought. 
You're dreaming up a terrible world there Doeman in your pursuit for an idealized one for short men.
Not so. The world is already pretty terrible if women are automatically rejecting you at every turn because you happen to be 5'4". It makes no sense for you to do any height shallow women any favors. Your only goal should be increasing the number of potential dates.
There is no "special person" out there waiting on anyone. This is all a numbers game. It's a crap shoot. If we increase the number of people we see, we increase the chance of finding compatibility.
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 4:23:24 PM |
I'm short 5' 1/2" - must guys are taller than me. I've tried meeting men on POF who would be considered short. I tend to lose interest because they lack self-confidence and I become annoyed. If I were to meet someone who is considered to be short and he possessed self-confidence (no arrogance), his height would be a non-issue. I don't understand this. We aren't living in Iraq. Tall guys aren't allowed to beat up small guys, and if they try, then they get arrested. So why would smaller guys have any reason to lack confidence at all? | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:29:07 PM | | I have never had a preference on height.. but i came to perfer someone taller because shorter guys usually have an issue when the women is taller.. Show confidence and height should never be an issue... If the height turns her off because of society standards .. Then just be thankful that the insecure female showed u her colors early!! | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:42:20 PM | | I don't think there is anything wrong with short guys. Of course they stand a chance with dating. I see short guys with chicks all the time. | |
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| Let me stand next to your fire
Posted: 1/28/2009 3:44:59 PM | I have nothing against tall people, and I know I'm about to commit a gross generalization, but still -- in my teen years, I developed an affinity for guys close to my own 5'5".
They had more fire.
Decades later, I feel the same, but with a qualification. It needs to be an energetic fire of active intellect; spirit; zest; determination.
The burning rage of a perpetually angry obsessive who runs every negative experience through a "this would never have happened to a tall guy" filter, is the ultimate repellent. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 1/28/2009 4:46:55 PM | Because they are short tempered? 
Seriously, I am sure there are plenty of shorter women out there, date them. | |
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MisElo
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Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 219 | |
| Short Men
Posted: 2/2/2009 11:26:14 PM | Honestly...I am extremely turned on by guys I can look eye to eye with, and I'm 5'6. I try not to discount anyone, but continuously holding my head up or finding something to stand on just so we can kiss is very annoying to me. However, if I like the person, that's the most important thing, along with a great smile, confidence, and a sense of humor.
So, TawkwondoMan, there's someone out there for you, becasue if I had it my way I would have a guy that is 5'6ish, with a little something to hold on to (the better to hug with), with deep eyes, who is quite and assertive, and who feels free to laugh at me when I'm goofing off. Maybe some TMI, but the point is, yes short guys stand a chance, because there are millions around. Babbling over.... | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 2/5/2009 1:28:26 PM | My my my....what is wrong with women that they are so insecure about having a SUPER tall man? I have fallen in love with the man of my dreams. I am 5'2" 105lbs and he is 5'6" about 140 . I can't wait to be with him. We can practically look into eachothers' eyes. PERFECT. I've dated/ been married to a tall man 6'1" and it hurt my neck looking up to him. The man I met here is VERY handsome and as sweet and kind as they come and if women passed him up because he was not a giant: it's their loss and MY GAIN!!!!!
Happily in Love Thanks to Plenty of fish!
Love changes everything... | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 2/6/2009 12:56:30 PM | It is tougher to date a woman shorter than 5ft 2in. I think it is the insecurity and unintelligence of a woman that will not even think that a man can be a man at less than average height. It is too bad too; what you need to realize is that because of what short guys have gone thru in our lives it has made us stronger and appreciate what we have. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 2/6/2009 1:24:56 PM | | I want to feel "safe" when I am with a guy. So I always try to date ones that are like 5'10" and higher. Plus I like to wear high heels. BUT there is this really cute Asian guy who is like 5'6" I would so put away my high heels for a night with him...not sexually. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:32:31 PM | Its a security and insecurity issue that females have. | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:44:19 AM |
A women who is 100 lbs overweight has a much bigger pool of men who will accept her than a 5'4" man has women who will accept him. Additionally, don't you find it strange that things that men tend to find unattractive (such as excessive weight) are given vague euphemisms like "average", "athletic", and BBW, while the things that women tend to find unattractive (such as short stature) are required to be given with exact specificity (such as 5'10" instead of "average height")?
Just some...well...food for thought.
And after chewing it over and digesting I would have to say this guy has a case here. A lot of women are very sensitive about their weight. I doubt it if those that are would want to list their exact weight. So why not make the height more vague just like the weight or body type? Personally I would prefer the exact height AND weight (or within, say, 10 lbs. no one tends to stay the exact same weight constantly but it can be close) but if one aspect is allowed to be approximate then the other aspect should be allowed to be approximate too.
In all honesty, it would only be fair  | |
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| Short Men
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:17:39 PM | | I have said for a long time that weight should have to be entered as a specific number on here or there should be 10 Ibs ranges to choose. There is a double standard her. My favorite term is "Small BBW". | |
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