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 Author Thread: Trust Issues
 Rake

Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 51
Trust Issues
Posted: 1/30/2006 7:52:46 PM
You have to realize that you can't control what others are going to do. You have to learn to love yourself no matter what they do. The best way to do this is to stay out of relationships until you have realized this.
 passportcharlie

Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 52
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Trust Issues
Posted: 1/30/2006 10:08:38 PM

You have to realize that you can't control what others are going to do. You have to learn to love yourself no matter what they do. The best way to do this is to stay out of relationships until you have realized this.
who wants to control other people? build cofidence and self esteem and throw yourself back into the pits, take this as an opportunity to get it right by practicing over and over again.
 whisperalltome

Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 53
Trust Issues
Posted: 1/31/2006 9:44:41 PM
I have learned that trust, being it earned or giving, has to be in you first. If you dont trust yourself to trust in others you will get no where. I learned from experience. I got very volnerable at one point in my life and had let others walk all over me and break my trust wall. With that being said, the end result; ended all my relationships I had, whether it be friendship or intimate. So lesson taught from that, I have learned to love myself and get to know myself befor I decided to move on and get to know someone else. Which by the way worked wonders, not only had it worked, my life has changed totally!
To all, learn to love, trust and accept yourself befor getting your selfesteem shot down cus you thought what was right was indeed not right.!
 lone56wolf

Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 54
Trust Issues
Posted: 2/1/2006 5:07:27 AM
You're not alone Mindy. I was married to an abusive cheater. You see the behaviours ... and red flags stay with you. Thought a nine year withdrawal from the relationship circuit was enough time to heal. Sorry to say, it wasn't. Even counselling can't change the realities other folks live. Now, I was into an internet world ... and met some cheaters there. Some things just don't go away. I get "the feeling" ... just for a fleeting moment ... if what's on the girlfriend's screen vanishes when I enter the room ... and she's never done anything to betray my trust. Trust issues aren't just raised by cheaters, though.

It isn't hard to imagine what it's like loving a lady who's been abused by a loved one ... beaten down, emotionally and physically, by someone in whom she was supposed to be able to trust. My voice raises ... even in pain ... and she'll recoil in the inevitable flash-back to uglier times. I make an expansive gesture with my hands, and she flinches. I can be the sweetest guy in the world, yet that defensive side of her is wary of anything that reminds her of something she may have seen in her ex. Counselling doesn't take it away ... nor will it ever replace the trust the SOB took from her.

Steve
 vikki_vett

Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 55
Trust Issues
Posted: 3/2/2007 8:50:06 PM
I have to commend u on what u said. Too be honest, I've never heard anyone talk about trust in a frank way as u did...Seems you have alot going on on the inside
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