arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/27/2005 6:15:56 PM | Tee
going back to my original post here
"It's not a competition ... As long as everyone is happy"
Please appreciate that men and women love very differently and we don't show it the same way. Our idea of romance is different, out priorities are different and the way we show it is different. A man might be showing his love by working 12 hours a day and coming home burned out and tired.
Please don't mistake being loved with what you have in your head as what it should be.
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/27/2005 6:18:38 PM | Ok dysturbed, here comes the cliches, trite bu TRUE .....
The poet was right, it is better to love and loose than not to love at all.
The adventurer was right too, nothing ventured, nothing gained
The business person was also right, you gotta spend a buck to make a buck
had enough....?
Love is as much about you as it is about the other person. Love is giving, not just getting a return on an emotional investment.
If you think this is the one, love recklessly, passionately, without boundaries and yes, you may get hurt but think about how hurt you'll be when you realize you lost her because you were being "too cool" "too protective" or "too controlled" to communicate to her how you feel.
And therein lies the answer ... how do you feel? If you ain't sure, don't fake it. But if you are sure (and "sure" is a relative term) turn off your computer, pick up the phone, tell her you are coming over right now, get on your knees and profess your feelings to her without reservation and coyness. If you want to know where you stand, that will be the quickest way to find out.
It will also open doors in you that you didn't know existed. That kind of passion is exhilarating, exciting and can move you to a whole new plane. One fraught with danger because you are exposed and vulnerable but do you want to be closed forever?
Good luck and start dialing!
Smooth | |
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/27/2005 6:30:10 PM |
I would never get involved with anyone again that didn't love me as much as I love them....It was just too miserable. I'd rather have it the other way around now...
Tee,
I often hear my gf's mother telling me, "Make sure a man loves you more than he loves you, because you'll always love him better than he ever can.
That will stay with me forever.
But, on the other hand, if you truly love a man, and you feel he loves you, just not as much, maybe...JUST MAYBE...it might be worth you sticking it out. He may just have a hard time expressing those feelings. But, it doesn't mean he isn't feeling them. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 29 | |
| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/27/2005 6:38:14 PM | You haven't said how long you've known each other. It's more common than we'd like to acknowledge, much less think about. How does Jane treat John? How does John treat Jane? You're talking about two very different personalities and souls here.
If it's less than 6 months, I wouldn't sweat it. The best thing that "Jane" can do is enjoy the moment, not worry about what is in the future, because relationships take time to build. You have to get past the "friendship", insecurity, uncertainty, and earn each other's trust & respect. One other thing that Jane could do is ask John if they are in an exclusive dating relationship. Yes, that may be terrifying for John, but a good relationship involves good communicating and listening skills. | |
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/27/2005 6:59:24 PM |
Frrosty and De bene esse....thats the way I want a guy to feel about being with me
Do me a favor. When he DOES show up and DOES want to be that nice guy for you....
remember that you said this k?
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/27/2005 7:27:01 PM | | I guess I should have added that my past relationship was also the opposite. I was the one giving everything and getting nothing in return. That's how I am, I aim to please. IF and this is a huge IF the next guy can't give me what I need, then I can't be with him. I can become close to another quickly if I trust them. When that happens, I'll do almost anything to keep them happy. TRUST IS IMPORTANT. You have to tell me when I did something you did not like or if you do not have the same feelings as me! I hope that in the near future I do not fall into this trap. | |
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/27/2005 9:55:41 PM | Im merely asking this question once again to be the devils advocate.
I know how I felt on both ends of the stick.
I was in a relationship that I wasnt totally into for about a year (yeah I know) but I grew into her and loved her. Someone hit the nail on the head when they said that people develop feelings at a different rate.
The girl Im seeing/dating is an amazing person. She allows me to be myself without questioning it, and we can just do whatever and have fun. The attraction is there, (from what I know and see and hear) so that doesnt bother me. As long as someone isnt totally infactuated with the other while the other is unsure the relationship is and will be ok.
Im merely just posing the question of what if....would you stay in a relationship knowing that you like or were liked more? | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 33 | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/27/2005 11:15:19 PM | Tee,
I often hear my gf's mother telling me, "Make sure a man loves you more than he loves you, because you'll always love him better than he ever can.
Ms Picky, I'm assuming you meant make sure a man loves you more then you love him, because you'll always love him better than he ever can......and if thats the case thats exactly what would apply to me! I can agree with that whole heartedly! I know what I'm willing to give to somebody I love, and it sure is a hell of a lot! I'm tired of being the only one giving on every level...I want somebody like me! lol, sounds kinda sad, and maybe impossible, but I sure as heck am gonna try to get it....
frrosty ya wanna marry me? lol
arri...you're right! Its not a competition, as long as everyone is happy...I'm sorry if I made it sound like it was, that wasn't my intention. But no, I wasn't happy in past relationships when I was the only one giving, and thats why now, I need more... | |
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/28/2005 2:57:10 PM | | Men and women are different. Men love logically in their heads (unless the other head's obsessed with a woman). Women tend to love with their hearts and logic takes a backseat. On occasion you find a woman that combines a healthy dose of both. Can't speak for guys. Haven't met but one that has loved with both other than my daughter's boyfriend. This makes it truly hard for men and women to date and fall in love in the same sense. Men wait until the perfect time and women love with all they can and see what comes of it in the end. That's why they tend to sit on the sidelines. Waiting for the right moment that he opens up. Many times ending up used, taken advantage of and disappointed. I don't wait for the perfect time. If I care I say it as long as I know I truly do. I told the last man I starting caring about when I did and asked where he stood. I had to let go. Though he showed signs of having some type of feelings at times he only admitted to being "close, close friends" and not wanting to lose our friendship and needing time as friends only to see where things went between us. Seems like the logical only mind kind of guy or not ready to emotionally open up to a woman kind of guy so it was best to let go. Always put the cards on the table and deal with reality!!! If they truly care and they're ready for a relationship then they will be there in even if they need time apart to sort through their feelings and issues or it wasn't truly meant to be and you don't have someone that you can grow with in love in the first place. | |
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/28/2005 3:13:25 PM |
Ms Picky, I'm assuming you meant make sure a man loves you more then you love him, because you'll always love him better than he ever can......and if thats the case thats exactly what would apply to me! I can agree with that whole heartedly!
Yes, Tee, That's what I meant. Thanks for correcting me! 
I know what I'm willing to give to somebody I love, and it sure is a hell of a lot! I'm tired of being the only one giving on every level...I want somebody like me! lol, sounds kinda sad, and maybe impossible, but I sure as heck am gonna try to get it....
Yea, I give a hell of a lot too. And, hold out because it's NOT impossible to find. | |
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xfoxyx
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 37 | |
| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/28/2005 4:19:57 PM | | Oh does this hit a nerve! Just had this very thing happen to me. Met a great guy, hit it off, and fell totally in love with him. He professed that he loved me too, but as time went by, he told me that although he loved me, he just wasn't on the same emotional level as I was, couldn't give me what I needed. Then just disappeared from my life... Talk about heartbreak! But I agree, cards should be put on the table. Let the other person know how you feel... That way if they do not return the feelings, then I think it's better to know up front, instead of months, or more into it. Doesn't seem to hurt as bad when the relationship is brand new, least not for me. So now I'm back "fishin"... Wish me luck! | |
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 12/28/2005 4:22:02 PM | | Yep! And that's why you never "wait" and live in fantasy land for the big day cuz most often it never comes or when it does you realize that the person wasn't who you thought they were and want out. Take it or leave it as I always say. | |
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xfoxyx
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 40 | |
| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:21:40 PM | | ty ezy... I may as well update a bit. He came back...but all is not well. He works out of town, and he confessed to me that he had been taking women out to dinner...just as dinner companions...because he was lonely and tired of eating alone or just with other men. He claims nothing sexual ever occurred, but if he loved me, why put himself in the position where such a thing could happen? To make a long story short, I politely told him I had to be THE ONE, not one of many... and told him he was free. Although I love him madly, I am not gonna sit and wonder who he is with, what they are doing, and driving myself crazy. So I told him when he decided to get his act together, contact me...maybe I'll be there. Yes it hurts, but you gotta draw the line somewhere, right? | |
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:25:29 PM | I'm actually in this situation. And it's best to just be honest about eachothers intentions, because if you're not on the same page, it's gunna hurt later on down the road when they've been strung along. Communication, got to love it!
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 1/3/2006 7:05:26 PM | | I can relate to this.. my former lady and I were “into each other”. But the problem was that even thou I was into her.. as in marry me!!!!! But the I’m Into you , the levels were different. You can be TOO INTO a person as well. So when that person doesn’t live up to your explications, you feel let down. And it’s a shame since the feelings of both caring loving people are real and genuine. You can be ready to lay down your life for you loved one, and still they don’t see it as enough and think,,” your really not into me” | |
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| what happens when 1 person is more into then the other?
Posted: 1/3/2006 7:50:19 PM | I can't get to the relationship point if they're not as into me as I am them.
I think, once you've had that "mutually into each other" relationship, it is difficult to do it any other way.
@Frosty, all your posts here; you are awesome. I heard you're on the player's list....and that you have your own page.....
@De-Bene-Esse - good luck - I hope the woman you're so crazy about sees what she's got in you.
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