| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/2/2006 9:06:06 AM | OP hasn't posted since 12/30 at 9:40 a.m. She appears to have taken someone's advice -hopefully. But I don't believe she's listening anymore. I sincerely hope she's out of the house and at a shelter or somewhere. But she ain't here.
And my point about restraining orders meaning diddly was that if someone wants to hurt you they will - a piece of paper won't stop them. For a legal paper trail - excellent advice. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/2/2006 10:14:32 AM | | Well back home where I am from , philadlephia pa....I have seena lot of similar situations like this.....1) get a good lawyer that knows what he's doing....2) ask the lawyer about getting a permit for firearms in the home for self defense....A lawyer can help get rid of the guy immediately as well, within a matter of a couple days or less, even have him locked up for a good while.....The right lawyer can do more than just a good restraining order, just remember if you get a lawyer involved or take legal action against the guy, then you better follow thru completely.....cause if you start off with legal actions and then back off from them, the law will never take your complaints serious anymore and you will be left alone to suffer, the law will think that you are not going to do anything as far as pressing charges, and look at you as a joke....so if you start with legal actions...you better follow thru!!! | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/2/2006 10:23:19 AM | | Damm! run disapear forget what you built up. I have seen this before. its your life, go to another part of the country. get family to help, you stay far away, real low profile, no inter net dating he will track you if you don't do this. its better than a 50% chance he will kill you, or you might kill him. then you will lose everything staying out of jail, you have to start over. i know its not fair but the world isn't fair. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:19:01 AM | | OMG!!! I would get out...forget the law...you get out. I think that it;s a very scary thing that he even THOUGHT about taking out the gun! Where did you meet this guy? Any man with an extremely bad temper is someone to look at in a very careful light. MY ex bf had a very bad temper...he was always experiencing road rage and actually getting out of cars to punch out windows or even get into fights...it was immature, stupid and ultimately dangerous. I dumped him so fast without any regrets.... | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:48:14 AM |
I have been datin this man for about a year....
Ok... so your dating and he lives with you... that's more than dating first off.
[quoteWe got into a fight the other nite and he went into the closet and took his gun out and loaded it. then he stood there for a few minutes holdin his gun then he put it in the closet (still loaded)
Ok... now that's very threatening and very illegal. You are not allowed to keep a loaded gun just sitting in a closet.
I saw someone advise trigger locks... think that's a good start.
I also think you should tell him he scared you as much as he did and that serious counceling is in order if he wants to continue in any kind of relationship. [and actually even if he isn't]
He needs help... just as much as you do, maybe more.
You went to the law to get him out... but did you actually in a calm normal way just tell him you think that was the straw that broke your relationship and that you want him to go.
You could invite some friends over for when you do it so he doen't get out of hand, but also make sure the guns are not loaded and the bullets are not easily found.
You say its your house and I see you are 24 so I'm thinking you haven't paid much off on it or you are just renting it and well... just packing up and leaving with the help of a few friends while he is at work... works very well.
Leave a nice note saying the gun thing was more than you ever needed to experience and made you realize that obviously he doesn't really love you and should find someone else that he can really love and not abuse. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/3/2006 7:41:59 AM | Thorb:
I think this is the best advice I've seen on this Thread - reflective, cautious, real. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/4/2006 7:42:36 AM | I appreciate all the advise. I am not at the house anymore and I am waitin it out everything is calm for the time being and he seems ok with things this way...
I can not respond to ever post on here but I want everyone to know that I appreciate the time you took. And yes the forums are a good place to post even over something like this because when you are out of options (or you think you are?) there are a lot of ppl on here that can help and give you more options that you did not know of. And Thorb... I agree with most of what you said and thank you... the house I live in is mine and being 24 does not mean that I have not paid much into it... I have almost got it paid off... its a long story but in any case it is all I have. thanks guys. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/4/2006 8:02:14 AM | Good luck. I wish you the best in getting your life back to normal.
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/4/2006 8:45:58 AM | | You need to leave………………NOW! He doesn’t need to know where you go and you should have no more contact with him. This situation your in could turn deadly in an instant. Get out, just disapear from his life and move on. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/4/2006 10:17:26 AM | | Hey missie...hope things get better...the act itself is abuse. Get as far away from him and the experience as you can. A lot of good advice has been given already. Godbless and good luck the rest of the way. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:17:35 AM | Hi Guy's
I am from Germany and I immigrated to Canada, Edmonton. (4 weeks ago  )I read this and I can say: That's the same shit in Germany. If a woman needs help. The cop's can do nothing! What she need is help from other people. A Place to life and wait. And - Girls. Look realy good at the guy's out here in the internet. A lot of freaks are there. It is the same shit in Germany - here only in English. When the girl life in Edmonton. You are welcome in my Appartment. I am allway's on the road. I think that is the way to help if nobody helps you. All the best for you sweety!
best regards from Edmonton
Holger
P.S.: Hello Canada  | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:44:18 AM | So glad you are out of the house......try to take one day at a time.........keep us posted about how things are going......and please don't go back to him....it would be natural to perhaps be tempted....be especially careful of the times when you might be drinking ..... or in an altered state.......I am not suggesting you have a problem in this area....it's an understandable reaction to stress and lonliness and even a few drinks...especially for someone who 'doesn't' drink much, can cloud the mind.So many women go back...please don't. I will be thinking of you,,,God Bless you and keep you safe.:  | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:59:05 AM | p.s. If you do what so many other women have done and go back...and are too ashamed to come here for help again...perhaps thinking you will be judged...then contact me...I am changing my email settings just for you.....remember...you are not a failure unless you stop trying......may the Lord take you by the hand and lead you along HIS path....and when you stumble or fall...may He scoop you up and carry you in His loving arms.  | |
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ban517
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Joined: 7/16/2005
Msg: 90 | |
| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/4/2006 2:14:10 PM | The best thing is too get out of there for now until he can be put out of your home people like him never change the abuse will only progress until one of you may die! I have a very dear friend and she is in a relationship with a guy that is in the army he has beat her many times! and things never changed in anyway she got away from him and came back too Kentucky but he came back and told her how he would get help and change and sad as it is she believed him I tried and begged her not too go back but she did and married him and on there wedding night all hell broke lose and he really hurt her She called me two days ago she was locked in the bed room and he broke in He was getting ready too hurt her again and I had too hear this on the phone and couldn't do anything He didn't know I was on the phone until she started yelling could I here what was going on he picked up the phone and was very suprized that someone knew how he truly was He tried too make it like it was her fault like they always do but as angrey as I was at that moment I told him if our paths ever cross I will personally rip his heart out and shove it down his throat I have no respect for a imuture child in a mans body Any man that would hit a woman isn't a man in anyway! and if any man would like too disagree on this matter I would be very glad too talk about this matter because all you sorry @$$holes make the ones that do care look bad and it is sicking! So sweetheart get the hell out of there do what you have too do and have him put where he belongs!!!! I wish you all the best because no one deserves too ever be treated in that manner!!!!
Paris | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/6/2006 10:45:37 AM | thank you all... GEORGY that was very nice of you. I am still gone.. it is very hard... because I do love him. but I know I cant go back. its not logical in any way. He calls my moms house a lot and has been by there a few times. Im hopin that it will slack of after a while. I guess we will see
You all have no idea how much I appreciate all your input... and the time you took to read this and respond. I just want to let you know that it means a lot to me | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/6/2006 12:24:20 PM | | come visit meuntil he is gone...why end up on CSI!?!?! | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/6/2006 1:43:40 PM | | If you get a restraining order and don't think it's enough, get a dog. There are plenty of good dogs looking for good homes in shelters and there is nothing better to keep away unwanted people from your house and even protect you in public if needed. You could even get a house alarm and arm it at night if you are worried about him coming in when you're sleeping or when you're not home. Best of luck and I hope things work out for you. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:33:09 AM | Hi Missie,
If this guy is not on your lease he can be removed immediately, the incident should be reported to the police so that it is on record, taking out a firearm and loading it during an arguement is considered a threat and he should have been removed from your house.
Sounds like you are in a dangerous situation and there may be retaliation after he is evicted.
I operate a protective service agency for woman and children, we are armed and well trained in domestic violence situations. usually are presence is enough to deter violent individuals. Our methods seem to work better than the police because were not bound by the same laws and procedures they are. if you need further assistance you may contact me, we can work with you if you cannot afford such a service.
I do recomend that after he is gone to be cautious and be aware of your surroundings, change all your locks, also be carefull what you say to other people about this guy, sometimes people who you trust can be your worst enemy. He sounds like hes controlling and probably obsessive so look for recording devices or cameras he may have hidden in your house.
Good Luck
Ron | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:00:28 AM | | WHOS ON THE LEASE?????IF THATS HIS HOUSE GET OUT!! IF THATS YOUR HOUSE YOU CAN PUT HIM OUT. IF YOUR BOTH ON THE LEASE LEAVE AND FIND SOMETHING BETTER.,...THATS SIMPLE...THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!! ANGERY MAN + GUN= TROUBLE | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/13/2006 10:58:57 PM | If you don't own your house.....get the eff out! There's no way I'd wait for him to move! If the law won't protect you and if you can't get a restraining order for the courts then I wouldn't wait around....I'd bail while all my body parts are intact!
Elizabeth | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/19/2006 2:00:09 PM | | well I am still away from him and he is leaving me alone now. I have not heard from him in almost 2 weeks. So I think that he has taken the hint and went his own way. I am still not going home though. No until I am sure that he is gone and not comin back. So I think things are starting to look up now. Just wanted to give you all an update on how things are. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/19/2006 2:05:34 PM | | So glad to hear that you are safe and sound. But still be careful, maybe he is hiding himself just to wait for you to show up, still could be dangerous to go home. Good luck and take care! hugs | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 1/19/2006 2:28:09 PM | hello missie,
if it's at the point where you fear for your safety, then you need to temporarily get out, if you can't get him out. don't wait. there's hotlines you can call for help.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-656-HOPE | |
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