| married and flirting
Posted: 2/21/2005 5:33:37 AM | I'd like to say thanks to all the contributors to my thread over the past weeks....some have been very enlightening.I think its safe to say that everyone has there own view on this...........and mine hasnt changed.i still think(within reason) that its ok 2 flirt.but i have had some quite nasty emails recently.and so have decided that allthough i luv this place..its maybe time to move on..
Thanks once again to the majority of u all out there..
Love and best wishes.
Steve
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| married and flirting
Posted: 2/21/2005 4:14:37 PM |
i still think(within reason) that its ok 2 flirt.but i have had some quite nasty emails recently.and so have decided that allthough i luv this place..its maybe time to move on..
Thanks once again to the majority of u all out there..
Awww :( Don't let a bit of controversy run ya off Steve. It was a good post I thought and we all have different views. If we all had the same view, it'd be really boring around this place. Hope you stay.  | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 3/10/2005 11:00:58 AM | ok.....back for a bit longer...cant keep away 4 long i guess
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| married and flirting
Posted: 3/23/2005 1:28:06 PM | I do not think it is okay at all. My ex did it all the time...and I consider chatting and flirting with other women to be very deceitful and a betrayal. I have had married men try to flirt with me online and nothing turns me off more, having been in the other room while someone was doing that to me!
Talk to your wife.
I hate the "midlife crisis" bs.....it just seems like another excuse to be irresponsible and selfish to me. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 9/14/2005 1:19:01 PM | | @stevethe eagle: no you should not be dead from the neck up - as long as it is harmless flirting, there should be nothing wrong with it.....it is a form of flattery, in a way! even if the guys are married, i find it nice to be noticed - even at 39+!! Some times, i wonder what those married men would do if i would just close the door (at work) and make advances, based on their flirting.....would they freeze in their shoes?? or would they act on their desires/urges?? I just wonder.................. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 9/14/2005 1:44:54 PM | Stevetheeagle: Just going to give you some help on this subject, since the single people don't seem to understand about marriage. Just because you are married, does not mean you are dead. You can still look at the menu, you are just not suppose to order from it.
However for you single people that are saying flirting and/or giving a complement is wrong, it all depends. You have no idea what is happening in that household!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It does not mean the person does not love there spouse.
I as a married women like to flirt, and men (single men) enjoy flirting with married women as well. What I am trying to say it that maybe there is something happening in the married, but does not mean that the love they have is dead. There are many different situations that can happen in a marriage, and sometimes you just don't know how to deal with it, so you tend to flirt and/or complement others.
Would you single people like an example: I am a married women, and found out a year ago that my devoted husband cheated on me. Okay so what I am suppose to just up and leave him right? But keep in mind I love this man dearly, he means the world to me, otherwise I would have never married him. So you see there are many different situations out there. So don't judge someone unless you really know what the scoop really is ......................
Sorry just had to say something. I guess to me flirting and/or complement others are fine. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/23/2005 3:20:03 AM | My two cents, even though the thread is old...
There are two sides to this and it's impossible to know which side Steve comes from, without being Steve.
I dated one guy from this site about 10 times and accidentally found out that he was married. He said he only ever intended to be friends, but that in the course of us hanging out for a few hours, he...er...changed his mind. So, Steve is already one up because he's being honest about being married...but he has to be careful something similar doesn't happen.
On the other hand, I have many married friends that flirt with me. They don't mean anything by it, but we've known each other for so long, that we're all publicly affectionate and flirty. I know that it would never occur to any of them to take it a step further and if I, (as a joke or something) suggested it myself, they would be shocked and run away. So, it is very possible to have a flirty relationship with someone other than your partner.
General Guideline: If you are doing something, examine the action and the intent (in your heads) and evaluate whether this is something that if your partner knew about, would hurt them. If they were doing the same thing, would it bother you? And not just your partner, but the person you are flirting with as well. Are they attached to you in a way that could lead them to future pain? If you answer "no" to everything, then you're pretty safe with your flirting. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/23/2005 8:39:17 AM | | It's one thing to "flirt" with mutual friends, like my ex and our "good friends" used to do~~~ If you're doing it online, there's something VERY wrong with that. I think you need to look at what you're doing and why you're doing it>?? | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/23/2005 10:01:48 AM | Being married and flirting, is very touchy subject. One you have to know your partner very well, and how they feel about them selves. If they are not confedent about them selves, you, or the relationship it will hurt them.
I also feel that it is part of what you should do, as there partner to develop that in them, and in your relationship. As long as they know that in the end they are the one you are going to be with.
Now I am talking about the inecent flirting, and that could be up to a friendly hug, and nothing more.
Just my thoughts | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/23/2005 10:57:57 AM | In all the 19 years that I was married to my husband I never flirted with anyone but him. I never wanted to put myself in the position to be tempted.
And now that I'm back in the world I find that I'm the same as I was 20 years ago in flirting....one person has my flirtatious attention and that's it. It's just the way I am.
I'm not one to flirt with just anyone.
But while married? Never.
To each his own, but in my situation I didn't think it was right. I never wanted to send the wrong message to anyone. I never wanted to encourage something that might end up being a problem or unwanted attention.
My husband was never jealous and I never gave him a reason to be. There were things that were reserved for my husband and my husband alone.
Again, this is me, I'm not judging anyone else. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/23/2005 11:06:48 AM | If I was married, I would never flirt. Even if I was only in a relationship, I would not flirt. If I am committed to a woman, she has my full devotion, attention and affections!
Sending flirts to my Catt! | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/23/2005 11:10:05 AM | Sending my flirts right back to my Sierrasman!
O.T. - Yeah, I think there are many times when 'innocent' flirting can lead to problems. I've seen it happen with a few friends in the past. They ruined their relationships with it.
I think it's something each person must weigh carefully if they are married. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/23/2005 11:17:36 AM | Why bother being married if you want to flirt. More often than not, you may end up hurting the very person you are supposed to love!
My Cattamia!!!!!!!  | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/24/2005 12:48:18 AM | One assumes that there is no choice involved... get real, I am friendly to most people and enjoy making them smile. Yes I talk to good looking ladies and flirt, however I also flirt with just about any person who is busy at their work doing their thing. A big smile brightens any day. Just ask the complaint department of any business... those are the toughest jobs... to be yelled at all day.... kinda reminds me of someone...lol.
Please don't infer that because I flirt that I'm weak when it comes to sex. As one wrote earlier... I wonder if it is just flirting or will they freeze... no I would not freeze. I would just not let it get out of hand. That simple. Time and place for everything. I guess it is more about maturity and how comfortable one is with themselves in essence loving themselves, with no regret. I can't say I truly love a person by changing my actions to fit their ideals... as I would hope they would also be true to themselves and be strong.
Safe sex begins in the mind.
Love starts in the heart.
no, means no.
simple. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/24/2005 7:30:41 AM | | well my motto is you can read the menu as long as you eat at the house! | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 11/24/2005 2:04:07 PM | I don't understand what you're talking about.
If I flirt with my wife then it's alright to flirt with you?
How about me, I haven't touched my wife in 12 years. If I could find something redeeming about her, I wouldn't be here speaking to you.
So if I flirt with you, what do you suppose I'm looking for, an ego boost?
ion | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 12/18/2005 5:08:45 AM | I agree if your just talking, who cares. If there's no intent to cheat and your not openly being disrespectful to your wife with this woman, then yeah. Not really defending the married folks, per se, but there are "some" innocent reasons people don't mention it (marriage) and thats for this reason, to avoid being harrassed when all they want is to have a chat. Not speaking for the majority, just so you know that there really ARE just normal people out there not looking to cheat and get laid.
I don't know your situation and I'm sorry for what happened with you, but speaking for myself, there's some things people don't like to talk about. Thats why we have friends to talk to, cuz you can't always talk to your spouse about certain things, not necessarily bad stuff. For instance I don't care for sports, but he LOVES fottball, so who is he supposed to talk to? Thats just an innocent example of "Why aren't you talking to your spouse?" If I like fashions and he doesn't...I gotta talk to someone else...
For the rest of you... :)
I come on here cuz I have no time for socializing. I got a boy that needs me and I work all day. So this is my only place to meet people outside of my coworkers. Plus I am shy about talking to strangers and meeting people in real life. Chat is much safer and easier. No confrontations and I can just ignore any "mean" people, unlike real life where you gotta deal with em.
If a married person is here its possible they have the same innocent reasons. True it may seem odd they are here in a singles site, but who's business is it what a total stranger does?
Do you know what confronting and harrassing them online is going to do? Make them go away and see the errors of thier ways? No.
Its only going to make them be even SNEAKIER and change their profiles to single and never mention marriage. Or worse, they become posers. Bottom line is that they are going to do whatever is necessary to get you off their backs, get a conversation going if thats all they really want. Human beings will find a way to get what they want (remember Prohibition? Didn't work). If they are just here for chatting and don't want to be harrassed they'll just tell you what you want to hear and show you what you want to see to avoid the conflict and get back to the chatting business.
If you don't like something a total stranger is doing, don't waste your time yelling at them, just put em on block or ignore them completely and move on. This isn't a face to face conversation where you may get some results. This is email, they won't care or change what they do cuz some stranger decides to chew em out on email. Big whoop. :)
In fact confronting them just informes or teaches them what they are doing wrong, so that they can change that as to not get caught on it again. Doesn't change anything.
As far as the men looking to actually cheat on wives, I'm against it. But marriage itself can be very confining and friends can be hard to come by and marriage only chat rooms are not only hard to come by but don't have alot of substance. Its fun to just shoot the breeze with people and have a social life (as it were) without any intention of cheating. And if going to where the people happen to be single is where to get that need, then so be it. If only for the reason of talking, thats fine. All married chatters are not necessarily in unhappy relationships or looking to get laid. Some just don't have any friends or a willing partner to chat with sometimes. Neglecting your family to chat...no. BUt when its 11pm and everyone's asleep and your bored or saw something cool you want to share, then why not? | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 2/16/2006 6:11:56 AM | Dear oh dear... If people are just interested in socialising, why don't they join one of the millions of clubs and online communities out there instead of a dating site specifically?
I don't know about married and flirting but if it means married and cheating, the word 'bobbit' comes to mind... | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 2/16/2006 11:04:38 AM | Most married men who flirt are seeing how far they can go with you..many if they could would go all the way if oppurtunity shows its face......
A compliment is not a flirt..
Many men who compliment another woman nelgect to show the same to thier wifes.. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 2/16/2006 7:30:50 PM | | What reason or need do you, a married man, have to flirt with other women? do you think this is respectful to your wife and marriage? of all of the intelligent, constructive, meaningful things one can do in life - to make their life better, to make their marriage better, to make their community better, why would you do something so silly as flirt? if your wife knew you did this do you think it would make her feel good and loved? I think you need to grow up and stop looking for validation for disrespecting your marriage. if you wanted to act this way you shouldn't have gotten married. treat your wife with some respect already. how would you feel if she was skulking around online flirting with men? grow up. | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 2/16/2006 7:47:39 PM | | Flirting "with intent" or flirting "without intent?" | |
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| married and flirting
Posted: 2/16/2006 7:48:06 PM | | "flirting with intent" or flirting without intent?" | |
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