| Single Father
Posted: 1/1/2006 3:27:45 PM | | well it would not bother me at all ,weather it was 1 kid or ten kids .i would have fun all day long great lets go to the fun fair kids.but then again i am not a selfish person thank god x | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/1/2006 5:44:43 PM | dude in a way your right a kids does need a parent to show them how to be a man but mine was my mom . father was alcholic died when i was young he tought me what not to be mom did the restnow i'm a s\f of two teenagers 1boy 1girl there are alot of things my daughter needs that i don't know about but i'm learning . we don't have any contact with their mom thank god as long as one of the parents step up and show the kids whats right and teach them to be good people it don't matter if it is mom or dad .to all us s\p out there keep up the good work  | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:02:32 AM | Sons needs their Dads. I agree.
Yes us single moms can teach the boys to throw and do all that neat parental bonding stuff as well as a man can, but think about it girls, there are SOME things we can't teach them. Men think certain ways and have certain points of views to things.
They know how to talk to girls. They can tell whats going on "down below" biologically. They can tell them a male's perspective to things in life. Can tell them about how to deal with other guys and how to fit in being guy himself. Also if nothing else a second opinion or viewpoint on things. Not just only seeing "Mom's" way.
Yes you got uncles and grandfather's, but Dad is Dad. Period. Grandpa did his duty already.
My son's Dad is still a part of his life in a big way and I'm so glad. His Dad has a different personality than me and he can relate to his Dad and feel comfy talking to Daddy about things that he doesn't want to talk to "a girl" about. lol
There's some things that Dad's (as big boys) like to do and talk about that us girls would rather not and that creates a special bond between them. I can pass on getting all muddy and talking about superheroes 24/7. I can tell him why he gets all excited when he sees a pretty girl, but Daddy is perfect for that kinda stuff and can even give him pointers about girls that I wouldn't really be able to relate to.
Also a son sees himself in his Dad and sees as he gets older what he needs to do or doesn't want to do as an adult himself. He uses his Dad as a template for himself. Boys like to copy their Dads. If he sees his Dad alot, he'll learn why he is a certain way or how to avoid the same problems. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:07:48 AM | Well said Jacky. I think those of us who dont have the option of the father involved feel somewhat less than adequate in admitting that we may not be able to complete the void of the missing father.
I think single moms can raise perfectly happy and healthy men, but having the dad is always the best options. My saying is always "the more people mason has in his life that love him, the better" | |
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P J
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Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 8:08:01 AM | Am I supposed to be a single father here? Am a single mom. Hey and  You know what you are talking about either way. Most important if possible is that the kids are love and supported by both parents---no matter the circumstances. We as parents got to work on making ourselves right to be the ones to guide and shape (the best we can) into good loving confident adults.
I was a mother who lost custody at one point of my older son's (now 20 and 21) and also befor with them and after being a single mom. Not an easy life for these kids---but by example they do learn, good and bad---Kids confide in me now---love their mom---*me. Confide in me Like I hadn't with my own parents at all.
Youngest child---is a 10 yr old I have raised from birth now--has had a relationship with her daugher after missing the first 4 years of their life together. court says they can so they do now. At anyrate----She had recently been given the option freely to spend time ---equal time with her dad, but alas has comeback to wanting to stay here---on her own free willl. And most important is the love---I do my best at biting my tongue about my opinions of him----Point being--No matter what parent. Love in the home---who evers is most important. Who is to say which parent is best---Let the love shine thru and raise them. by god most important (whether I liked or agreed with) Kids grow up---do the best we can---Compassion even in the home is an awesome thing I know from this family of kids with one mom and diff. dads(not a good suggestion---but hey is life, eh??) My boys--3 of them 22 20 14 and the baby girl all love me very much---older boys have grown up with my caring and insite and their fathers sense of responsibility----awesome good men. Just Gotta Love the Kids !!!!!! Bottom line not whose right---but whats right. and even still is rough want so much for them---then they grow up and woooo laaa Giving loving, strong and yes genetics of men--- Just do the best we can for them admit mistakes to them---Kids are amaizing  | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 8:11:03 AM | Why do people have to keep saying that their kids are baggage. My three are human beings not baggage. I have two boys and "Dad" is not in their lives. I am very great full for a wonderfull brother -in-law who takes time out for my oldest son just to do guy things. ( The yougest is still to young fo rthose things.) THere are somethings that mom just can't do for him.
but i do think that single fathers are good to be around. THey understand that you need to put your kids first, that gettign a sitter is not that easy. ( Some non-dad's are like that also.) | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 9:21:27 AM | | My mom passed away when I was 4... My dad raised me, I never turned out like a tom boy. Compared to my sister and brother who have my dad and their mom I turned out better than them. So no one can say a son needs his dad and a girl needs her mom BS! | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 10:10:47 AM | | My kids come first, they get my money, and my time .my women fit into the cracks of my time, if they can't deal with that, then don't let their butt hit the door on the way out! i feel if a woman with kids can be good enough not to drag all her serial boyfriend in front of her children, and keep relationships out of there sight. then I would go with her. I don't let my kids meet my girlfriends, at least not tell them that they are my girlfriends. kids don't deserve the confusion, my children are happy ,well adjusted ,top in their class .I know such things really hurt them my needs come after them. | |
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sinc19
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Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:11:35 AM | | I agree with not letting your family life get mixed with your social life until you know that the person you are dating is someone special (long term). Of course I can only speak in theory. I just recently joined this site and have yet to go out on a date. My wife passed away recently and I feel that I'm ready to start dating. My kids (two boys 7, 10) have been threw enough and don't need to get involved. I have picked up a feeling in the short time I have been on this site that most women do not seem interested in a father with kids. This is possibly just with fathers that are in my situation and have 100% custody for what ever reason. To me children are not baggage they are one of the best things in life. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 12:14:39 PM | vzenuh :A son needs his father to show him how to become a man. A boy needs his mother when he is five years old and has a boo-boo.
Ok thats not a fair statement at all!! What if the dad is a worthless piece of crap that doesn't care much about him...no thanks! i will do a better job myself raising him and show my son how to respect people and not growing up to be like his dad is...a real man is a man that takes care of his responsibilities and respects others! He will have other role models in his life, he doesn't need his "real dad" to make him be a "real man". Geeshhhh | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 12:53:42 PM | sinc19, you said "I have picked up a feeling in the short time I have been on this site that most women do not seem interested in a father with kids."
I do not see this, In just this thread alone, you can see quite a few posts by women who appriciate a man stepping up to his responsibilities. Give it time, don't be so desperate, when your not looking so hard and least expect it, the gate will be opened.
It would be a good idea for site builders to make one just for singles with baggage, ooops! I mean children, Ha! HA! HA! (Just a joke people don't hammer me cause I don't feel that way)and those who are young and childless have many many options already. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 1:25:56 PM | Hey all I just wanted to say I love being a single dad,my son is 7 and I have had full custdy of him since he was 3.Hes not only my son hes my bestfriend.Being a single parent male or female I think if one of the hardest jobs in the world but at the same time the most rewarding.
have a great day all Peace | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 38 | |
| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 1:32:04 PM | I think it depends on the situation and the person. I have half of my time completely free, as me and my ex both look after our daughter, so i'd never even really want to hang out with the person i'm with and my daughter, not for a while anyway, my daughter has a mum and a dad so there's no need, most people won't think this is how it'll be when they find you have a daughter, or a son
i've had so girls in bars come up to me and its always the same old thing, they ask about my accent and ask where are you from! then its why are you here, and soon as I say well I have a daughter over here, well it does seem like a put off for them, for the dirty ladies anyway :) doesn't really matter
to some people it will be to others it wont be! | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 2:25:34 PM | Jack.... what you said maybe working for you.... but there are some mothers out there that dont have the fathers around for their sons.... so we do have to teach them to pee standing up... teach them how to wash their private parts... roll in the mud with them and talk 24/7 about superheros etc....
i never want my son to talk to his father about girls.... as his fathers idea on how to treat a woman is not normal.... if the father came up and said to you... im going to teach him everything i know... how to get whatever you want from a woman... never have to work coz they are supporting you.... know how to be a sweet talker to get anything at all.... im going to teach him how to treat a woman like abolsute dirt and make her feel worthless to make him feel like a man.... i dont want my son thinking it is ok to totally disresepct a women... like his father does.... his father is a liar and a "player" cant hold down a job coz he doesnt want to work... gee his father doesnt know how to follow thru with anything... he has gone to tafe ( community college) twice and both times dropped out coz it was getting too hard for him and that is something i dont want my son to turn out like....
plus... his father doesnt have any male friends... so he cant teach him how to interact with other males.... the only fighting his father can teach him is how to hit a woman....
this kinda attitude my sons father has towards women is something i dont want drummed into my sons head especially at such a impressionable age... whether it be the age he is now.... or when he is a teenager... as that is what his father has said he will do... he wont stop at anything and he will make sure our son turns out just like him .... no matter what i say or do....
i think im doing a very good job with my son... he treats women/girls with respect... he has manners.... ive controlled his temper ( which he got from his father when his father was around as my son thought it was acceptable).. my son also talks to every gender with respect...as his father doesnt respect anyone he was teaching him to name call and be rude to others...
as i have said before.... i was raised by my father... so i guess i have a fair idea on how to go about things my son needs to know when it comes to those little important things... he also has alot of other decent male role models around him to teach him things.... but that normally comes from him just spending time with them... i dont say.. hey... teach him how to do this or that.... as i feel im very capable of doing these things myself... | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 3:07:02 PM | Venting is good.Especally here because chances are good that you will never see any one of these people.Like getting completly drunk and crazy in a bar....in a far off city.So long as you dont get shown on the nightly, news,your good.As far as raising your son,good for you.
And no,its not a bad thing to women,women who have had kids.It is DEATH to women who ahve never had kids and has no idea that sometimes kids DONT want to sit nicely in a resturaunt or they have serious issues with long car drives or that they do say EXACALLY what they think ("Whats that on your face?").But it goes both ways and there are men who have a reall challenge with dateing women with kids.So dont feel like the lone ranger,there are plenty of range-etts out there who feel your pain....Hang in. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:18:14 PM | Nun: Sorry thats how it went for you. I do love talking to my son about Justice League and Teen Titans, but my Ex just knows more about it and can get "into" it more with him. Cuz he was into that as a kid, too. I teach him all that pee stuff and about girls, too. Not afriad to get dirty and sweaty, but if his Dad is willing to do it then more power to him. lol
I guess I'm lucky in the fact the his Dad is a class act and we're still friends. We just couldn't live together anymore. He's a great Dad and our son is the single most important thing in his life and he shows that thru his actions and efforts to be close to him. I'm hoping in his Dad's case that they will always have a special bond that alot of Dads & Sons have.
I meant no offense to you. Good luck to you and its sounds like you're doing a good job. Hopefully you'll come to realize not all men are slime cuz of a few bad eggs. :) Best of Luck to you and your son. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:30:05 PM | oh jack... ya didnt offend me.... i was just trying to point out that there are mothers out there with sons that their fathers have nothing to do with them.. so we have to do it ourselves and be both mother and father.... it gets tough coz we mighten know how to do something properly but we learn fast on how to do it... so our sons dont miss out....
i also dont need to realise that not all men are slime... just one and thats my fathers son... but he was never like that until i told him i was pregnant.... i know every male same as female are not the same as the ones from each others past... and im always the first to pull my friends up on that when they think all genders are the same.... i have never held anything against anyone and see them as all individuals.... as they have the right to be.... i can honestly say... i can go into a new relationship and not dwell on my past experiences... as each is different.... | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 43 | |
| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 9:59:06 PM | nun - your boy still has a dad though - can't stop him from bringing your kid up. just make sure your kids clued up the best you can, can only do the best for him
this is deep | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/2/2006 10:11:58 PM | | i have never stopped my son from seeing his father.... it is his fathers choice to not be involved.. as he hasnt been around for over 12months now even before then it was a few months but alot more months away... even though the father has applied and we sat for a consent conference.... i have done everything in that consent order which was done back in Oct 05.... and his father has diappeared... he hasnt done anything in it.. his family havent heard from him in over 2months... not even on xmas day... and they cant call him as every line of contact with the father has been disconnected | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 45 | |
| Single Father
Posted: 1/4/2006 9:05:33 AM | thats not so nice for your kid hey
not very nice of him, maybe he has some issues hopefully he'll fix them for the better.
take care! | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/4/2006 4:58:10 PM | nun. I can relate, my Dad died when I was two so My Mom raised me the best she could. I only wish I had a father figure in my life. Most man stuff I learned on my own. I did learn how to cook, clean, sew, crochet etc. from Mom and Grandma. And also learned how to communicate and get along with women...........at least I think so | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/4/2006 6:52:31 PM | | Thatswhat i was looking for. I have sole custody of a now 15 year old boy and a soon to be 9 year old girl. my daughter hasnt seen her mother since she was two and as she gets older i have wondered how im gonna handle the girl things. i have lady friends and my mother fortunately to help but i feel like i should be there for her to answer questions about whatever comes up in a little girls life. It sounds as if it can be done and has been done by your father so im more confident now that i will succeed and help to mold her into the best lady that she can be. thanks for your comments. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/4/2006 10:00:31 PM | | I realize that the term "baggage" is overused...and in the wrong way...but that word DOES generate some anger among a lot of single parents...I think that it's great that there ARE some men out there who DO want to have an active presence in their kids lives-you should be proud of yourself and know that women respect guys like you-keep looking and/or waiting and you will find a nice lady who will appreciate you ...parenthood is a huge responsibilty and also has great rewards...like a hug or a drawing from your child-THAT is priceless!Think of what the ex is missing and the great times to come-(sorry to sound like Oprah) but it is soooo true...so many ladies are just hoping to meet a fella like you! | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:38:34 PM | | I am a single dad that fight every day to spend more time with my kids.. they are my life thedating thing is tough cause you have to try and live two lives at first cause you don't want to the girl to get scared I am glad to see that there are dads out there that take there kids seriously. Ladies we too can be a good parent give us a chance..... I live in Vancouver for those that want to know...VIVA SINGLE DADS | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:54:22 AM | TO MRBASKETBALL:
Kudos to you.
My brother is a single Dad too and I'm a parent myself. I know how tough it is. And society doesn't make it any easier assuming only "Moms" take care of our kids. Dads are very much forgotten for some reason. Every commercial is "Hey Moms!" and "Ask your Mom" or "Soccer Moms"....ummm what about Dad? They love their kids too.
Instead of Mom OR Dad, we need to start using the term "Hey PARENTS". Its not that hard.
Even websites concentrating on Parenting in general or Homeschooling focus on the Mothers. Any social activities or group during the day are mostly female groups concentrating on things women like. Even at the playgrounds, the other parents, mostly moms, won't talk to the dads because of how it looks or intimidation, so the Dad and maybe his kids are left alone and out of the loop. Or at school functions, the adults always talk directly to the mothers for the most part. Its not fair.
Again way to go and keep up the great work. I for one appreciate any single parent and I for one DO NOT forget the Dads out there because of a few bad eggs. Way to go.  | |
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