| Single Father
Posted: 1/5/2006 4:06:49 AM | I DONT THINK OF IT AS A BAGGAGE I ALWAYS TELL THEM A PACKAGE DEAL EITHER YOU HET THE WHOLE THING OR YOU GET NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!!! | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/5/2006 4:07:26 AM | | I DONT THINK OF IT AS A BAGGAGE I ALWAYS TELL THEM A PACKAGE DEAL EITHER YOU GET THE WHOLE THING OR YOU GET NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!!! | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/5/2006 4:22:52 AM | | No, a man who loves his child that much has a great heart. Any woman would be proud to know him. Kasey | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/5/2006 7:36:36 AM | | I am a single father who just recently obtained full custody of my five year old daughter. She is not baggage she is a complete blessing. It will be hard to date. it will be hard to accelerate my career. But the time that I spend with her is better than anything else I have experienced in my life. Nothing in the world could be more fun to me. I worked very hard and spent an insane amount of money to win this "case". I did it for her and from this point forward everything I do I will do for her. I truly do not care if I am single the rest of my life. If I have her I am good. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/5/2006 6:53:12 PM | Well this will sound like something out of a movie, but it's trueI happend to come home from work one day and my wife was gone there was a dear John letter on the couch My wife had left Me and the KIDS to go live with her Boss, It took about an hr before I could put down the letter and call my lawyer, She was great my Lawyer that is she fought for everything I have full custody of the kids I lost the house though but thats ok.
Anyway after 3 yrs of bringing up the kids with my parents help I have realised that it's hard it's very very hard and now that I have walked in a single mothers shoes I will never put down a single mother again I have the utter most respect for single mothers now.
Well what I'm trying to say is Dont be afraid to ask a guy out who has kids you will see that he is very loyal if he takes his kids every where like I do and does anything for them then you'll know that he's the man for you.
I've taken my kids to Scotland, where I stayed before comming back to Ottawa Canada and the've been to Quebec city The only thing I wished for more when planning those trips was to have a woman by my side.
Anyways thank you for taking the time to read this thread,
Sean. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/6/2006 6:35:04 AM | | sounds like you have a lucky smurf :) | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/6/2006 5:57:11 PM | | I think that it is really awesome and means that you are willing to take responsibility | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/9/2006 1:50:27 PM | Hi there, just read your thread about women being scared of single father's.
I'm only speakinf for myself, I don't know about the rest of woman's society. As for myself I'm interested in meeting single fathers. I am a single mother and doing a great job raising my son on my own for the past 6 years now since I'veseperated from his father. But I've been having trouble finding guys to date single mothers. I don't see why other people have to be scared of dating single mothers & fathers, their children are thier precious ones in thier lives. The children don't understand sometimes why mommy and daddy are not together but I have explained a lil to my son in the way he will understand why I am not with his dad no more. But when and if I do find that special someone to share my life and my son's life will come in time. This single mom is open to a real heart, single guy with or without children. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/10/2006 4:33:53 AM | HEY VZENUH HOW ARE YOU DOING, DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT ASKING FOR ADVICE ON THIS SITE OR NOT KNOWING IF THIS FOURM. HAD ALREADY BEEN DONE YOU'R NEW HERE EVERYBODY SHOULD REMEMBER HOW IT WAS FOR THEM ESP WITH THEM ONCE BEING NEW ON THIS SITE, SO FEEL FREE TO ASK ANYTHING YOU NEED ADVICE ON. I DON'T SEE A THING WRONG WITH BEING A SINGLE DAD I MEAN HEY JUST GOES SHOW THAT YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU'R CHILD, AND YOUR NOT JUST WANTING YOUR CHILD AROUND TO ATTRACT THE LADY'S OR MAKE US FEEL SORRY FOR YOU BEING A SINGLE DAD. SO GOOD LUCK ON THIS SITE AND IF YOU NEED TO SPEAK TO SOMEBODY I'M ALWAYS HERE AND WILLING TO HELP YOU WITH ANY ADVICE YOU MAY NEED, IF IT IS POSSIBLE. you can get a hold of me at aim as LoUiSiAnA cHiCkx.
FIXING TO BE A SINGLE, MOM 22YRS OLD, FIRST CHILD. i am happy and i am not going to give the baby up just because it doesn't have it's dad around for the time being. I love kid's and i can't wait until this little one is out into the world.  | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/10/2006 4:54:30 AM | hey Jacky
Iam a single father and I agree 100% good point | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:21:51 AM | It seems like people are harping on you an awful lot... It is hard being a single parent. I am one to talk, trust me. Of course you wouldn't change anything for the world and of course you love your children more than life itself. I just hate when parents sugarcoat parenthood to be this easy trip. I know I think of being a parent as a learning experience and also a time of learning things about myself, off that soapbox...
It isn't hard to find people to date, it is hard to find good people. Thumbs up for taking care of your children but remember something when you are looking for someone, are they going to make me happy but more importantly are they going to be a good parent. Before I was only looking for someone that accepted me for having a child but I found I was taking myself out of the equation. I want to find bliss with a man and that includes my daughter. So, to sum things up here... yes women date men with "baggage" and women who are scared of a man with a child should know that and only date men without children. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/10/2006 2:40:42 PM | I certainly do not judge ones right to wanting custody of their child. However, in most cases, if BOTH parents are deemed fit, custody is shared. I prefer to date men with kids, because I am a single mother myself. My daughter is 3. I have soul legal custody and he is not in her life. Mainly because he is out of state, and has chosen to become the typical deadbeat. I dont mind this at all, as he has some addictions that need to be dealt with before he could be good in her life.
I dont see a man who has his child full time as baggage. Its actually quite the opposite for me. I see it as unconditonal love and that reflects alot on their character and shows me that they are a great person as well. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/10/2006 2:43:10 PM | | So many women find it easy to say, "Oh yes, I would love to date a single father," but when it comes right down to it, they are often (not always, but quite often) too picky and/or superficial. They end up ruling out a guy for this reason or that, no matter how ridiculous or immature that reason is. When I have as many dates as I did before I was married to my now-ex-wife (or even half or a third as many), then maybe I'll believe it. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/10/2006 2:53:17 PM | | It must be the type of women you date, or ones who dont have kids. To say that MOST women are like that is a generalization. Perhaps in your dating world, that is how it has gone for you. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:16:50 AM | | Hey riverbabe just wanted to say I agree with u, I find that a women with a kid is much easy to date and I find that if they have kids they love to date a single father cuz he knows what its like and they have alot in common | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:01:39 AM | | I am a single mom of 2 and would hate it if my kids father took them from me. If the kids are better off with the father then that is where they should be. Men with children are awesome. i have alot of respect for them. I would never be scared off by a guy with kids. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:42:05 AM | Thank you coach.
Not only are there things in common, but as time goes on, if both feel comfortable enough, there are tons of activites they can do together. I live near Disneyland, and have an annual pass for my daughter and I. A few guys Ive dated, have annual passes. Weve made a day out of it, theres downtown disney with tons of shops, and its a fun and easy going atmosphere. I would never set myself up and date someone who wasnt comfortable or in the same place as I am in my life. Which is why I tend to date men who have similar things in common, and have kids. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/12/2006 10:45:48 AM | | I think it depends solely on who has the better home enviroment.I'm not scared about the men with baggage. its the how is the child gonna act around me? are they gonna like me? is my kid gonna like them or their kid?..but thats just me | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/12/2006 10:49:07 AM | broken,
I understand what your goin through but
I have been alone from the time i got pregnant till now...my babys father is missing ..literally
i havent seen him in almost 3 years so i couldn't even tell him he had a little baby girl...but shes 2 now and im fine...my dad always told me
Being a parent is the hardest job that you'll ever love | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/12/2006 11:00:04 AM | NUNTHEWISER: i'm sure you try your hardest to teach your son not to be a "nancy boy", but i don't care how you try its not the same thing. a child needs a father to teach them certain things and a mother to teach them certain things. the best thing for any child is to have a mom and dad who love them and do the best for them. the best thing for parents to do is not bad mouth the other parent in front of the kid, no matter how much of a jerk the other parent is.
this recently happened with my ex-mother-inlaw bad mouthing me in front of my girls( for the 2nd time). when i found out about it i let myself calm down and called my ex, i told her what my girls had told me and that this was the last time i would let this happen. that if it happened again next time she'd get a notice to appear in court to resrict my exmother in-laws visitation to being supervised visitation. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/12/2006 1:31:56 PM | | well I think it all depends on the reasoning as to which parent the child stays with but unless it's pretty serious the courts don't usually award the father with full residency, unless the child is of an age to make a conscious descision or the mother agrees. Single men do get scared and I think some women feel the same way but I dated guys with kids b4 and after having a child even guys whose kids lived with them the only time it freaked me a lil was when the guy had like over 2 kids. My mate has a child and looking to have another the bloke she got with is 26 has 5 kids first one at 14 has left his wife who is preg by sum1 else yet he has had a sterilisation and now my mate wants him to have it reversed so they can have a kid together I thought ARGGGGGH run for your lives the whole thought scares the pants off me. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/22/2006 6:40:29 PM | | If single fathers are so great tell me why I get no contacts. | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/22/2006 7:35:03 PM | QBNPETE: I do try my hardest to raise my son the best way i know how.... i also know it isnt the same thing as he doesnt have a father around to teach him things.... but i have no choice but to raise my son on my own... Im like alot of other single parents that are raising their kids who the other parent isnt around... as it is the other parents choice not to have anything to do with them.... it is getting close to 13months since my son has seen let alone heard from his father... there was no bday card or pressie.. not even a phone call... same with christmas... as i have said in other posts in this thread... my sons father just disappeared... even his own family couldnt contact him... or even heard from him....
my sons father has always said to me... if i get told when where and how long i get to see my son i will have nothing to do with him.... as for the consent order we have....due to the lack of time he has always had with his son... and the lack of concern for his sons medical condition.... i requested supervised visits... as he also threatened me he would take my son and i would never see him again.... the mediator backed up my request for supervised visits as it would be best for my son... the father also wanted it to go to court... to see if he would be able to get out of the supervised... the mediator told him the judge would tell him the same thing.... he only has 6months from first visit 4 months of that are supervised 2 hourly session every fortnight... then goes to pick up and drop off at the centre every fortnight from 9:30am to 1pm for 2months.... in that time he has to do a anger management course and a parenting course... and also learn about our sons medical condition which he already knows about but chooses not to remember.... after that 6months... we go back and do another consent order but this time there will be a drop off zone... as he is not allowed to have contact with me only over the phone inwhich is stated in the consent... which was put in the new one but he didnt want it so it was taken out... this consent was done up on the 14th oct 2005... and i havent heard from the centre when the visits are going to start.. as they havent heard from him...
I have also never bad mouth this father infront of my son.. as that too has been put into the consent orders as my sons father has expressed he will do what it takes for my son to hate me and never want to have anything to do with me again... and if that means lying then that is what he will do to his son to get back at me for him something he had done.
Its never been my choice to have my sons father absent... its the fathers choice to be that and to have nothing to do with him... its his choice not to teaching him how to do "blokey" stuff... due to the absentee of my sons father... i have male friends that are willing to teach him things i dont know how or cant get around it properly... with my partner he knows i am not looking for a father figure for my son... but he is willing to step up to the plate where his father isnt and is teaching him how to do things as a father should be...
All the single parents with absentee parents do do the best they know how to... we all wish this absentee parent will also see the child/ren grow... but there are just situations where the single parent cant control that... as the absent parent just doesnt want to have anything to do with their own kids... our hands are tied but we make the most out of what we have got.... and that is to be the best parent to the kids we have... and make up for the loss of the absent parent.
there are also parents that one wont let them see their kids and want to be with their kids... others spend as much time as they can and are a parent to their kids.... then there are parents that just dont want to know their kids and dont want to be a parent.... the parents that are sticking around for our kids.. we are being the best parent we can as we are looking out for the well being and want to be there for our kids... | |
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| Single Father
Posted: 1/22/2006 7:54:53 PM | i think that is the most attractive quality in a man. i just left my husband cuz he chooses to live 2200 miles away from his family where he only gets to see his daughter and son twice a year and he feels he still is taking care of his kids he opted for me to go with but this is all my daughter knows. and anyways no i do not think that women feel the same way men do about raising children.
i think is awesome and i hope everything works out for you | |
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| single father
Posted: 1/22/2006 9:31:05 PM | I dont have a problem with men raising their children the problem I have is guys dont want woman with children | |
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