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| Spending money on your date
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:50:04 PM | Well dude , It's OK to spend money on your friend's and family, but dating women is a whole other story. Many women make just as much if not more than a man, so in thier
eyes they look at things much differently than you do. Sometimes insisting on paying for something is an insult to them. Most of them boast about being independent (read thier profiles) When you take away thier right to pay you are smothering them.
It's no secret that women love attention and loved to be treated special and many like to be spoiled. I can remember when I used to think that I had to buy women jewelry, flowers, and gifts to get heir love and approval and affection. I did that for years. And it never worked very well. There is a time and a place to do buy flowers and gifts but doing so upon meeting a woman is not the time or the place for it. Most men meet a beautiful woman and they feel compelled to start spending money on her, bring her a rose and buy an expensive dinner.
It’s natural to want to be generous towards people you really care about but
a woman you’you have just met (or a first date) does not qualify as someone you
genuinely care about. Most guys run around chasing after women... buying
them things... and generally acting needy with women that they hardly know...
hoping to get some love and approval.
When you do these things, you send a clear message:
"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to bring you a rose
to try and buy your attention and affection".
You might say you disagree, OR, “When I like a girl, I want to show her how much
I care about her or how generous I am.” I’d say bull-crap. You want to spend money on her in hopes that she will like you in return.
Let me put it this way, if she were unattractive, would you feel the same way?
Would you show up with a rose? If she looked like a demon, imagine Gene Simmons
of the Rock band Kiss with breasts, (how is that for a sick visual?) would you
still show up with a rose?
Women are attracted to you because of the FEELINGS that they get when they're with you (as opposed to the thing you buy them)
But please, do not waste your money on strangers you barely know.....
BadBoy~ | |
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| Spending money on your date
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:03:49 PM | Dear Poster X,
I really don't think you are getting my points either! First of all, not everything is about YOU, specifically. I was using a purely random sample of one of MY turnoffs in terms of attraction. It was not meant to be a snide comment on YOUR table manners - how could I possibly know something like that? (Although I do suspect you give off negative vibes from reading your postings!) Sometimes people suspect others of the things they themselves would do!!
Secondly, where did I get the idea you didn't want a live-in-relationship? Here's a direct copy & paste quote from the Poster X profile:
"I am a busy person and am happy being alone but would, sometime, like to go out with some one and have some fun, movie, play, beach outing.. the like. Just not looking for a live in relationship."
So, you see I try not to make assumptions but didn't need to since you stated it clearly. Furthermore, your profile does NOT say you are not dating. Perhaps, as someone else here suggested, you have more than one profile & you are talking about the OTHER one!!
Finally, you certainly made some assumptions of your own about my "boring vanilla sex life". Although I obviously have no partner at the moment, since I am looking for one here, no man ever left me because I was boring, I can assure you!!
Having said that, my comments to you are done! I tried to give you some honest advice & you just don't seem to be receptive. We are just too different to communicate well, I guess. It happens!
StyleGal | |
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| Spending money on your date
Posted: 6/10/2008 2:15:16 PM | StyleGal
I really don't think you are getting my points either! First of all, not everything is about YOU, specifically. I was using a purely random sample of one of MY turnoffs in terms of attraction. It was not meant to be a snide comment on YOUR table manners - how could I possibly know something like that? (Although I do suspect you give off negative vibes from reading your postings!) Sometimes people suspect others of the things they themselves would do!!
I understand what you are saying..and I never said everything was about me.
ok.. maybe I did get a little bent about the table manner thing.
As far as giving off negative vibes.. I would hope so. Because it is a negative thing when people take advantage of others.. as it should be. So, ya.. you are right that is a negative thing. But, just as I give off negative vibes about things that annoy me.. I am sure you do as well. No different. I assure you though, in person, I am not giving off negative vibes. If you want believe that that is the case.. that's fine. You're in entitled to those believes.
Secondly, where did I get the idea you didn't want a live-in-relationship? Here's a direct copy & paste quote from the Poster X profile:
"I am a busy person and am happy being alone but would, sometime, like to go out with some one and have some fun, movie, play, beach outing.. the like. Just not looking for a live in relationship."
So, you see I try not to make assumptions but didn't need to since you stated it clearly. Furthermore, your profile does NOT say you are not dating. Perhaps, as someone else here suggested, you have more than one profile & you are talking about the OTHER one!!
Ok.. I forgot I even put that in there to tell you the truth. So.. yes.. I have to admit that with this statement you are correct. I am wrong.. I did say that. See, I can admit when I am wrong.. can you?  However, I never did say my profile implied I am not dating. I stated that in a previous post. What I said was, that I was not going to initiate dating, but that if someone contacted me, then so be it. But.. now I have changed my mind.. and if I do see a profile that fits my criteria then I might still initiate contact... I have just become more selective is all.
As far as having multiple profiles. I already said that I (had) a different profile. But, I only have this one at this time.
Finally, you certainly made some assumptions of your own about my "boring vanilla sex life". Although I obviously have no partner at the moment, since I am looking for one here, no man ever left me because I was boring, I can assure you!!
If you re-read what I was saying you would see that I myself admitted that it was an assumption. I was trying to make a point, that flew right over your head, obviously! lol
Having said that, my comments to you are done! I tried to give you some honest advice & you just don't seem to be receptive. We are just too different to communicate well, I guess. It happens!
While re-reading your post.. I do see that you have given good advise and did say I heard what you are saying in a previous post, I just don't agree with most of it is all.
To me... it just sounded like you were picking on me... that is the way that I took it.. maybe it's just me.. but it sounded a little snide and snippy. Maybe it's because you don't agree with me or whatever. Which is fine btw, that's your right.. you can also suggest or write things any way you like... doesn't mean others have to like it though. | |
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