| | Why a virgin?Page 3 of 19 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19) | Well remaining a virgin until you are married is up to the girl. I know though in Canada that common-law marriages are getting more and more common and I don't think its a bad thing. If I didn't have sex other than through an actual marriage I would be a frustrated girl indeed.
When it comes to sex I think education is important along with values.
A friend of mine had a similiar situation happen. She met this guy on the internet and he supposedly fell right in love with her UNTIL he found out she had more partners than him. Which wasn't hard since he told her he had only been with 2. He made her feel horrible...told her he needed to think about things now. She was devistated. Well turned out he had actually had 3 because he had an affair on his wife. So who has the worse morals here?
I couldn't believe someone would judge her on how many partners she had while cheating on his spouse. These types of guys live in a freaking bubble. I'm not of a culture or religious belief that enforces marriage so thankfully I can tell people like this to pound sand. | |
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ya472
| | Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 12:32:51 AM | ..
Guys on the other hand , can do what ever they want .
Yes, guys (and gals) can do what ever they want with whomever will LET THEM.
A virgin is supposed to be a sign that this person (male or female) has the ability to make serious decisions and take responsibility for it !
Personally, I can't understand guys (or gals) who will stand in a lineup to get sex. Is this the only thing they can be passionate about???
In a list of priorities, if SEX is number ONE, you can be damn sure that their partner isn't.
Even people with the minutest brain function can score sex, it isn't a challenge.
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kmhstx
| | Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 53 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 4:24:27 AM | | You know what I really don't think there are too many men out there still looking for virgins lol because from experience they sure as hell don't want to date them. I was a virgin up until 2 mons ago, and I'll tell you that dating was hell, as soon as the guy found out..lol because I obviously wasn't giving it up on the 1st 2nd 3rd 4th date and so on they ran fast very fast. I mean what does the guy expect? Lol the man that wants to marry avirgin, well I respect that of course...not if its because he's insecure lol....but if its for spiritual/moral reasons I can see the point (although then if he's of f*cking anyone he can find first,,,thats questionable). | |
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dcx10
| | Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 54 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 7:22:48 AM | I have always dreamed of marrying a virgin when I was young. As I grow, I realize that meeting the right person is far more important (or maybe the only thing that is important).
But why a virgin? There is just something mythical about a virgin in every culture forever. And yes, there has always been a double standard in every culture forever. The myth and the double standard must reflect some very basic human desires. This cannot be denied.
Maybe it has something to do with reproductive biology? It is much easier for younger women to reproduce but the men need to be more experienced (so they would make better fathers). Maybe as the woman takes on more partners, her fertility somehow decreases? Maybe that's why fertility in developed countries are at a all-time low (in human history)?  | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 8:27:14 AM | Why do men prefer virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.
I think it’s important for both men and women to explore their sexuality before committing permanently to one partner. How can you know if you’re sexually compatible with someone who’s never had sex? | |
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kce33
| | Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 56 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:14:41 AM | each to their own thoughts but i think that the OP is trolling for attention or so dead in bed that she can't keep a relationship going by not putting out.... even dumb guys aren't that dumb... we catch on pretty quick...
kce | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:29:31 AM | And just what's wrong with wanting a 40 year old virgin with one purple eye, one green, and every other tooth missing? kidding...
In this day and age, one shouldn't hope to find such a unicorn. When I was young...it was spiritual, and even I held onto mine for 22 yrs with false hopes.
It's just another stigma that society at large has burned into the minds of the young in moralistic values. It's always nice to have a wish and a dream though.... | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:31:08 AM | | It's the James Kirk expectation; "To go where no man has gone before." Or it is the insecurity of having to measure up to a woman's experience. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:35:42 AM | | No way, i've broken in 4 virgins. I like experienced women virginity is highly over rated, but most of all give me a woman thats comfortable with her sexuality. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:36:04 AM | Hmmm...Double, maybe it's just the fear of having to "measure up". | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 11:26:12 AM | This thread is full of high handed value judgments based on fundamentalist dogma.  No doubt you'll condemn me if I disagree with you, but I stand by my commitment to treat others as I would like to be treated.
The number of sexual partners you have had may be an interesting part of the story on someone, but it cannot be the whole story. To make broad based "he/she" is a slut is premature at best.
I would never expect that my partner be a virgin, simply because it's not a path that I chose. Had I maintained virginity then I suppose it would be something that I could look for. It is likely that I will end up with someone with a similar sexual background. I see it as an indicator of compatibility.
You cannot tell the whole story on anyone based entirely on actions that may no be in the distant past. To do so shows immaturity and intolerance.
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 12:06:37 PM | As a virgin I don't see what having had a penis up inside me will do for how compatible I am with a person.
If I can't get somewhere in a relationship with someone without having sex then it's not a relationship I want anyway.
Yeah, it's hard cuz there are a lot of guys who are like, "virgin = boring or waste of time OR challenge" In this third case it's like some game to see how long before they break through the defenses.
The entire sex thing seems like such a game and it's a game I choose not to participate in, so I really don't see why being a virgin is all of a sudden such a bad thing. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:36:02 PM | You said, "Men go out and sleep with whom ever so she sure isn't a virgin. But when he is ready to settle down, he wants to marry a virgin?"
That sounds so typical of women. They expect men to have their value system. Just because women do not place a value on a man being a virgin does not mean that men do not have a RIGHT to place a value on a woman being a virgin. If women placed a high value on a man being a virgin than there would be more men virgins; however, women place no value on a man being a virgin. Many men have a different value system regarding a woman's virginity and, whither you and other women agree with that value system or not, men have that right.
For myself, I want to know what it feels like to have sex with a virgin. That is an experience I may never have unless I marry one. If a woman is under 23 than, in my opinion, being a virgin makes her more desirable. At 28 a women that is still a virgin would, in my opinion, be less desirable than a non-virgin because she probably lacks hormones or has other issues.
Non-virgin, especially young non-virgin women, are highly critical of virgins. That is because they don't like the competition and they know, other things being equal, men will choose to marry the virgins.
You will agree that a man choosing a virgin is better than choosing a woman that has had sex with 200 men. So what about a woman that had sex with 100 men or 50 men. Would ten be better than zero? I don't think so. Obviously, less is better so where do you draw the line? A hand full? Then what about six? And so on?
I know there are many men that believe, "MY WAY IS THE ONLY WAY" that will be critical of me. However, if they choose to have a different value system, that is fine with me. I am not going to be critical of their values and call them immature or stupid. They have the right to belive marrying a non-virgin is better than marrying a virgin.
I do know that some women, including virgins, are willing to marry me. And, if I choose one over a non-virgin because she is a virgin then she will be glad she remainded a virgin. I do believe it makes logical sense that a woman that had premarital sex is more likely to have extramarital sex. That is another reason I would prefer a virgin. However, even though I place a value on virginity, it is not the only thing. Other things are equally or more important. I will look at the overall package so I may choose to marry a non-virgin over some virgin if I believe that for me the non-virgin will make a better wife. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 3:08:51 PM | Why are some of these messages repeated? | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 3:14:18 PM |
You don't want a girl that has been with a ton of guys, you just cant trust her as much I guess
What a jacka$$ thing to say... that comment is equally as bad and insulting!!! | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 3:14:23 PM | | That's a pretty whacked out story! Keep away from the dude.... | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 3:20:00 PM | excuses....... got cold feet about getting married.......
some don't realize what they had until ......it is gone !!!!!
good luck | |
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sddude
| | Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 68 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 4:21:56 PM | it's the " my winky is smaller than all of your past guys syndrome" and I cannot do that as much and with poer as your other guys syndrome , most women just lie there and compare how the guys do it , guys are expected to do the work , the more guys a girl has had the more insecure some guys can get . A girl can have as many sexual encounters in a day a guy has to work hard to even meet a girl for that in a week or at least that is me and my friends.
it may sound stupid but that insecurity is in a guys mind , women talk and compare how good a guy is in bed , alot of guys have been asked about their bannana size during dates and some during sexual talk , women say how facinating a big banana or how much stamina a past lover had. It has happened to me before . All guys know that size does matter no matter how much women deny that . That is generally.
So the more sexual experiences a women has , the more the guy feels insecure that he is not good enough and that she may prefer another guy that is better . I guess sex is kind of like a guys money but backward , the more she has the more the guy feels he is not needed and will be discarded for one with more than he has .
We guys are full of insecurities , it is what women do to us as life experiences come by . | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 4:47:10 PM | I talked one night with a girl in canada one time for a few hours she is 27 still a virgin i am not a virgin and after saying that she wont talk anymore..  I lost mine at twenty four. She is thinking she will find a guy around her age that is. I told her good luck. I have known marriages where both where virgins and they got married they lasted for a short time. Seven months upto eight years. And one after the honeymoon never again did they have sex and it ended up in a divorce it scared the hell out of the guy. Personally virgins are clingy and terrible in bed i would think..
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 5:07:56 PM | | I don't know about other people but I want to marry a virgrin also. However I am a virgin also since I think double standards suck. Wouldn't be fair to want a virgin yet not be one. But if I meet the girl of my dreams and she is a complete slut, that wouldn't stop me from marrying her. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 5:25:08 PM | Why a new car? Why a new house? Why desire food that hasn't been previously eaten by others? It's pretty obvious, isn't it?
What's wrong with wanting something or someone pristine, and un soiled?
What's wrong with wanting the ideal?
What is so acceptable about accepting discards, seconds, and others trash? | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 5:47:04 PM | | Okay, Bert. Even Madonna was a virgin at one point in time. I'm a virgin and I catch so much flack, like virginity is a disease. If he wants a virgin, move on. You're saving yourself for your hubby, but you resent the fact that he wants a virgin. Get over it. | |
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Rake
| | Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 74 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 5:49:42 PM | | I dont know how things are done down there in Texas but up here in Canada if a girls a virgin we send her right back in there and tell her not to come back until she's got some experience...seriously...I haven't heard that since I was like in high school in the 80's | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 5:57:47 PM | | ^^^Gives credit to my words...lol. | |
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