| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 5:58:48 PM | It seems to me that this debate has drawn a fine line in the sand.
Those that place a high value on virginity (for whatever reason and whatever gender).
Those that place a high value on sexual experience (for whatever reason and whatever gender).
Those in group A seem to be defensive or attacking group B. In turn, group B tends to make fun of or insult group A as much as A does to B. Warring factions here.
Then there seems to be the "Why can't we all just get along?" people that I think honestly have it right. I'm with them. Group C. Sexual experience or complete lack there of, it isn't the real key to this conversation is it?
It's just yet another debate over how important sex is. Take all the answers from the other forums that have had this debate and we can move on...
However, since I'm posting, I might as well say something to answer the question.
Women do place a value on men's virginity. When women find out a guy is a virgin, they tend to have one of two reactions. "Dear God, he's a freak of nature, I'm leaving..." or "Awe, that's so sweet, you go now into friendzone..." So, yeah, women value the fact that a man can be a virgin but lets face it, they don't want one. At least, I've yet to find a woman who wants to be with a male virgin. Women tend to want a man with experience, which is contradictory towards all the women who complain about men being sex addicted jerks that are only in it for the sex. Is there such thing as a negative value?
Women are praised for staying pure. Men are hated for that. Therefore, women tend to encourage men to play around and become "experienced" and in turn create the monsters that they so dearly loath.
Maybe I'm wrong, I hope I'm wrong, but that's the general impression I've received thus far in my life.
Oh, and I honestly don't care about a woman's sexual past. It's not that big of a deal to me and it shouldn't be a big deal for her. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 77 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:02:44 PM | | Kloey: if its any consolation I wish I could take my first time back....but you never can... | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:03:46 PM | Paradoxdreamer, you are wrong. Even you do care about a prospective partners sexual past. Otherwise, i challenge you to seek a bar whore as your next g/f. Marry her and allow her to continue her services. Then, encourage your daughters into mommys line of work.
All the while, tell your family and friends that 'a woman's sexual past doesn't bother you'.
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cazar
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Joined: 4/28/2005
Msg: 79 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:04:00 PM | years ago (1982 ) to be exact I dated one for a year..we had some great times..but then she went back off to college and got a masters n a doctorate...ran into her a couple of years ago and she said she was still one ...at 44 I think ...so I guess she hasnt
a) found the right man b) doesnt want a man c) waiting for something only she knows about...I would think that in 4o+ yrs you could find the right one
so why do men want virgins...insecurity, wanting to be something special etc etc ..I think the main reason that men want virgins is to feel like they are the only man she has been with ... I personally feel for guys that feel this way..some inferiority or personal issues there..in this day and age..finding a virgin is not like it was 100 yrs ago..with the societal changes and all...
believe it or not..some cultures expound or still believe in virginal ladies..there are a lot of them in the world...
personally, experience is the key..if you click with the lady..I want experience not nothing..
respects | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:08:11 PM | Perhaps I came across harshly. I don't have a problem with anyone who is experienced. That's fine. I don't have a problem with anyone who's a virgin. That, too, is fine. It's their choice. Choice being the operative word here. Everyone has a choice and they're free to choose as they will. That's the beauty of it.
All in all, I think it's rather silly that the OP resents someone for making a choice that she herself has made and wishes to maintain. She married as a virgin. She now wishes to save herself for her future husband, whoever he may be. She, however, isn't keen on the idea that some men prefer a virgin. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:09:11 PM | Kloey, here's a challenge for you... as you read, think to yourself - what does this say about the person writing - not what they are writing about, but what it reveals about the person themself. A virgin reveals someone who has most likely reserved themself from the normal temptations that most fall prey to. They have self control. They value themselves. They aren't cheap and easy. They will likely continue in that course of when future temptations arise. That is the true value. Not experience - which everyone will get. That is what is being pined for when we say we want the ideal. Those things that they reveal. Conversely, those who don't have self-control are the root cause of most problems you read about. Aloha.
the OP seems to have a problem with the fact that the guy she'd just been giving it up to all weekend long told her that he'd like someone a little more discerning when it comes to marriage and committment - not an easy lay, like, like.....ummmm | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:09:56 PM | "a virgin? why the hell would i want to go thru all the trouble of training a virgin?"
I don't get what the big the big deal it is to "Train" a virgin, it's not that hard, and you can enjoy doing it.
If training a virgin is too much trouble for someone, then obviously they aren't willing to much of an effort in the relationship. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:12:30 PM | | watchout for hambone, he's alway skulking around these virgin threads.... | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:16:26 PM | | Not exactly a challenge. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:19:27 PM | O.K. so we know your not a virgin  | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 86 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:22:17 PM | What is so acceptable about accepting discards, seconds, and others trash?
because by your own logic that would make you somebody else's trash
why a virgin? I'll tell you, because its the only way to soothe his fragile ego. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:25:52 PM | | yep, that's true rake.... | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:49:25 PM | I personally think... Some men want a virgin, so she don't know what she is missing. In other words. If he sucks in the sexual department, she won't know it because she never had an experience before..
Yes, the man who wasn't a virgin. But told me he wanted to marry a virgin, SUCKED IN BED. It was one of the worst I have had, even though he stretched me. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:53:41 PM | | Hey, I only incountered this type of conversation once in 30 years of dating. I was shocked when it was stated to me! I had been dating 30 years at that time! I had quit a laugh about it, but the suitor was very serious. lol | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:57:16 PM | | Absa, if you know the answer, why bother asking the question? | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:05:46 PM | Kloey, she's just making conversation... not looking for 'answers'... I mean, gosh ... it's not like she's a 'virgin'
Sorry to hear about you being 'stretched' ABSA - frankly, it's more than i wanted to know!
I'm gonna have to scratch you off my potential marriage partners list - i can settle for a woman not being a virgin - but stretched! NOT.
Hi fiddlesticks, long time no read...
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:10:31 PM | | Would you want the mother of your child to be a slut? | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 93 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:12:09 PM | | ^^^ would you want the father to be one? | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:15:08 PM | | no such thing as a male slut. a guy should be experienced before he marries. a guy earns sex and a female bestows it . maybe you should cut off your penis and pretend you have a womb if you think males and females should be held to the same standard. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 95 | |
| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:15:48 PM | | you keep telling yourself that...again...virgins are for fragile ego's | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:16:53 PM | | Wow. Earnest, go back to your cave. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 7:19:46 PM | | What is an ego good for? Oh yeah, hey, Leggo my ego | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 8:06:01 PM | | Nice thing about everyone here on this forum is indifference. The world would be a 70 yr virgin in depends if we where all the same.. you have to admit.. It would be quite boring. | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 8:39:05 PM | samhonolulu,
What I meant by 'being stretched" was. I am extreamly small, he was large and in charge.
But his large piece of equipment just hurt, not pleasured. Hell, he wasn't even good in the oral department. Guess that is what i get for getting with a man with Russian in his blood.
It is okay to be a virgin till marriage, I did it.
But think about this.... You test drive a car/truck before you invest money into it, right?
So why wait till marriage to test drive your posibble investment .
The answer is, because it is wrong and against the Lord's Will for your life.
And that is why I plan on waiting till marriage to have the 'love play ground' open.
By waiting, I will have a blessed marriage and I hope the Lord please's my hubby with talent in the bedroom | |
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| Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/2/2006 8:41:52 PM | | If you believe sex outside of marriage is wrong, why are you miffed about guys wanting a virgin? Yes, we know you're no longer a virgin. Seriously, though. You're upset because men have the same 'value' that you do? Okay, Bert! | |
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