| is it just women.........
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:57:35 PM | | My opinion is that we all think about our abitliy to please and be pleased in a relationship. Your confidence and communication skills in the bedroom will help to gain self esteem in your sexual experiences. In turn allowing you to relax and enjoy, instead of thinking about these things which would hinder your freedom to express yourself sexually. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 5/27/2006 2:20:22 PM | Hell yeah!
The only difference is that guys think it isn't right so they let on like they don't behave like that.
The problem is if more guys let this part of the dating/relationship game be exposed they would have more success.
talking to a potential partner allows the hurdles to be passed.
Then you can get on with the good stuff.
If it is a problem then then the situation was not good to begin with.
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 6/4/2006 3:22:48 AM | Not boasting here,But yea I used to have them thoughts,then I gained a ton of confidence over time because of what I can do,and then all thos worries went away,,no worries about the ladies I was with moving on cuz it just don't get any better according to them...so I'd say once you gain a lot of confidence in whatever it is you are doing,you have nothing to worry about.. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 6/4/2006 3:43:45 AM | | I'm a man and I never think about those things. Perhaps, it's because of overconfidence or being to**** but I really don't care about those. I may not be compatible with that specific person but i think I'm a great catch for someone. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 6/4/2006 4:41:51 AM | My guy friend put it to me this way: "His ESP is broken"
THAT definitely cleared alot of things up for me and I don't think the way I used to about guys. Makes sense, cuz when we think too much, our minds go into overdrive and ya, we do start kinda acting paranoid and insecure (huge turn-off for both sexes), and I'm not headin' down that road again...cuz I'm neither!
So just go with the fact that he's a guy and no matter how many hints we give them, they just don't get it - cuz they can't read our minds!
(I love having a guy friend who knows where my thinking is at - makes life sooooo much easier) | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 6/4/2006 8:39:24 AM | Most of my past boyfriends told me they never thought along those lines, with the exception of one thing: size...they are overly sensitive about their size. To me, I think they're being a bit too hard on themselves, cause in my lil world, I think it takes two to make a proper fit.;)
With regard to all the many other things one can become insecure about, they told me they'd rather not think about those types of things because not only did they not want to imagine me with someone else, but they determined there was simply no reason to "go there". And there isn't. Couples are what they create together.
For myself, I've never had a lack of sexual confidence. Hell, I probably have too much. Nah...scratch that, it's pretty accurate. Where I do get a lil hung up is with my appearance. But once a guy makes it clear that he's into me, I feel wonderful and pretty much on top of the world. That's a good place to be because then you can begin to just feed off eachother, and get down to the good stuff.
Sometimes, we really need to tell our brains to just shut the heck up. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 6/4/2006 8:48:07 AM | | If you aren't asking yourself these questions you aren't concerned with your own performance. It's those that ask themself over and over that are insecure. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 6/4/2006 10:32:54 AM | | I think it's stupid not to think that Men have the same feelings and fears as women do!!! We are all human!!! Maybe not everybody feels like that all the time but I bet someone has or will at some point in their lives... | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 6/4/2006 11:43:42 AM | | Are you kidding? They just got their rocks off. They could care less if it was worth it to you or not. And they'll be back again, even if it sucked, if they get the chance. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 6/4/2006 5:47:04 PM | | Any honest guy will tell you we worry about the same things, but here's a thought: usually, if a guy wants something, he'll ask. "oh, baby, do it like this", etc. We're pretty simple creatures. Women, on the other hand, are much more complex. If we ask them what they want, often the answer is "your perfect, honey". Now, how does that help us learn to please you? Just read Cosmo (and yes, guys read any available Cosmo, we just won't actually go into a store and buy one), and all you see are articles about how a lady needs to help direct her lover in those little ways that make all the difference. I haven't been with hordes of women, but I have never met one yet that was willing to actually give explicit directions as to how to physically maximize their pleasure in bed. Apparently, "if you really knew me and cared about me" we'd somehow assimilate this knowledge from the ether. (tongue in cheek, I'm not bitter). I believe that women (often correctly) that the male ego cannot stand to be shattered by the fact that we may not know as much about pleasing a woman as we think, but dammit we're men, we are sex gods, we know all! I'd love to know if any of you women agree, comments, etc. | |
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jg65
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Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 39 | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 9/9/2007 6:49:38 PM | | ALIS KAT, very very good answer , i like that , i believe in this too ( friends before dating , and love before sex) and this is just one of the reason why i think i am a old fashion guy in a new fashion world | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 9/9/2007 11:27:46 PM | No.
Plain and simply there is a problem with the people that dwell on this stuff. Of course it's gonna cross your mind, the same way whether or not your clothes are matching when you got dressed in the dark does. And it should be just as fleeting a moment's thought.
When you dwell on this sh!t, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It'll come true and just deepen your insecurities. The best advice I could ever give is to understand that for ever person that comes in and out of your life, there's 50 others waiting in the wings at ANY moment.
Just chill and live life...and enjoy it. | |
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MsFine
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Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 42 | |
| is it just women.........
Posted: 9/10/2007 12:47:31 AM | I thought men are more insecure about this then women since its all about their euhm d i c k s and how long they last and how big it is etc etc.
and for the other questions, well yeah i had boyfriends expressing these thoughts. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 9/10/2007 4:46:16 AM | Bravo mcgusto, so much wisdom, so rare.
I don't like the word "performance" - maybe we could find a better word.
Sexual attentiveness is something that can always be learned/improved/expanded. The day you decide that your "performance is everything its ever gonna be, take it or leave it" ...... Well what a shame.
When you meet someone new, there is no way you go into your first encounter knowing everything you can know about how to "give" to that person. A talented lover is aware of the other person's responses, expressions, breathing, etc. An accomplished lover is always open to learning. Just the act of making yourself aware of your lover's responses and so their preferences is a turn-on in itself. And, believe me, women can tell if you (men) know she is there as an individual or just as a tool. Being aware of your lover as an individual is the greatest gift that anyone could give a lover.
Remember what Shakira says "Keep on reading the signs of my body". No matter what you have in your "bag of tricks" we can all always be better, more focused, more giving, lovers and should never stop trying to be. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 9/10/2007 6:01:52 AM | we think about it but never talk about it...
really it depends on where the relationship is to be honest with you, if the communication is good then we worry about, will I be a good provider? can we get what we need and a new tv this year?
but when the relationship is rocky then yes we worry about the other stuff!!! | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 9/10/2007 7:08:07 AM |
"I wonder if she is satisfied with me".............
I don't feel insecure at all. I simply ask what my partner likes and I try to please.
If she's does not make any attempt to reciprocate, then I'm not particularly satisfied with her. Having sex with a self centered, selfish person is a total waste of time and energy. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 9/18/2007 4:51:28 PM | | The jerks don't care about such things, and so do not think such things. The nice guys know they satisfy, so they have no reason to think such things. | |
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| is it just women.........
Posted: 9/18/2007 5:00:33 PM | NO I think about those things also but i also ask if i am the one and doing every thing i can or do i need some advise from my partner communication is the key  | |
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