| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/6/2006 7:18:39 PM | | i wish someone would ask me out....im getting tired of being single...pay no attention to my profile, i am trying to weed put the mentals.... i am soingle, ask jenn,,she knows me and loves me, too bead ui wasnt closer sexxy.....i am a single father in ontario, where are all the sweethearts....rob | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/6/2006 7:50:31 PM | I have been so tempted to ask this one guy........it seems as if he's interested. Either that or he's just a nice guy. The problem is, I don't know if he's gay or straight. Its not obvious. I'd be so freaken embarrassed if I asked him out and he said NO because I work in the same building and would have to face him.
Besides, how exactly do you ask a guy out?! Give me the words to use. lol | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/6/2006 9:44:59 PM | | If a woman walked up to me and asked me out - I would just die - no seriously I think i would be saying to myself "ok who put her up to this" and looking for her gaggle of friends somewhee close by having a laugh at my expense - either that or fall over dead from the shock of it | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/6/2006 11:10:45 PM | Dawna: The words:
"Hi, I was wondering if you would like to get coffee or go out say on (insert day here)."
Believe me, very few women will get a No. Less than men for sure.
Take a chance. All he can say is No.
Hell, I would be very flattered. It's not going to work out every time, but at least you tried.
Even if a guys says No, he should do it with couth and respect, and not be a jerk about it.
Guys are nervous too and have self doubt wondering if that girl they like will like them or not.
Just be relaxed and yourself. You can do it. Smile, it helps.
Can't see much about your profile, other than your patriotic, but at least you have
initiative. You never know. Ciao.
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/6/2006 11:21:08 PM | I wouldn't have an issue with a woman asking me out. I am one of those shy guys and I am not afraid to admit that. I don't fully know why, but if I am interested in a woman, I tend to be even more quiet. 
My last gf, she was interested in me and knew I was shy. She just kept starting up convervations with me so I would get a little more comfortable with her. I eventually did ask her out. I believe her first question to me was "So, what do you do for fun?". We ended up dating for about six months.
To the original author of this thread, congrats and wish you the best of luck with that relationship. Keep us posted. | |
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Jianna
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Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 31 | |
| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/7/2006 1:13:28 PM | Well, he called. Said he was sorry but he didn't want to lead me on any further and was not interested. So at least I know now, and can stop wondering. Thank you all again for your advise... and I don't think it was wrong at all.
I guess someday one of these guys who show an interest in me will be one I am interested in back. I have been on his side of the fence so it's OK. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/7/2006 1:34:37 PM | | I have been shy around women all of my life. I grew up with three sisters and all of their friends, so you would think I would feel comfortable around women. I have only been asked out by women a few times, but I loved it because then I knew they were interested and I felt more at ease with them. If women didn't make the first move by flirting or what ever it is you do that catches a man's interest, I would have spent a whole hell of a lot more time alone. I can also be very dense and don't even realize I am being flirted with most of the time. A lady I once knew finally got tired of me missing the hints and walked up to me in a bar one night and said "Come with me baby, I am going to (use imagination). I was like "Check please!" The point is: This is the 21rst century, not the Victorian era. If you ladies are interested in a man, let him know, and you might have to abandon the subtle approach because sometimes we just don't get it. I have been mistaken for gay or stuck up. Nope: just shy. I have grown out of it a bit, but the core is still there. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/7/2006 5:16:18 PM |
Don't even think about it, ask him out already.
Most guys love this, its nice to know a woman is that interested she will take the first step
yeah have to agree with that
glad the ask out went well for you
really whan it comes down to it who does'nt like to get asked out?
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/7/2006 6:32:21 PM | sorry to OP reread your last post my apologies..the asking part went ok but turn down it happens keep on
you'll find him sooner or later | |
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Dryad
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Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 35 | |
| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/7/2006 10:01:30 PM | Asking guys out is fun… especially if they smile and blush 
Good for you for doing it!
(even if it didn't work, it's not a could've been...) | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 4:59:22 AM | | everyone's different. Why not ask em out? Its the 21st century, go for it, girl. And good luck. | |
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Jianna
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Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 38 | |
| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 3:31:55 PM | Thanks everyone.
I would keep trying if there was anyone else I was interested in. It's hard for me to get interested in a guy to begin with. It's not looks so much as it is a certain gentil kindness I get into. With humor of course... can't be all serious. I like wisdom and he had all that. So does someone else I know but there are rules against asking out your superiors  Just seems when I like a guy they are not into me for some reason. I am thinking I am not entirly myself with them really. But that's why people have to get to know one another. I mean hey when a guy was into me and I was into him as well and I didn't think he was "acting himself" I took it for him being into me to the point of being self conscience. If I can be sensitive to that and recognise it others should be able to as well and give a girl some slack right ?? I actually find it rather sweet and charming.
Well, I guess there has to be more guy I will "get into" if I found two in three years. 
Maybe I'll find him here... maybe somewhere else.
Oh and Aussie I am trying so hard to get ripped abs like yours... well like your but more femine.
 I work out on a tred mill about 5 days a week for 20 mins then come home at night and do an additional ten. I do about 200 crunches 6 days a week as well. I strenghth train as well (after this doing upper body) and I have what I like to refer to as a 2 pack. I have gotten a four pack at one point but I need six. My diet I have to say goes from 70/30 back to 80/ 20 do you think it's the diet slippage or do I need more carido? I hate cardio sooooo bad. But I will do what I have to do. You look great!!!
You all look great to me guys and girls. It's so nice to have this. It's been like theropy to come out here and talk. It's like writing theropy but with feed back. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 3:39:01 PM | | you just never will know unless you take a chance:-) I say if your interested.......go for it!!! | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 3:48:02 PM | I've asked one guy out. It was when I was 40, and I was living in the dorms at college. I met this nice looking man who moved into my dorm in January. I was going through a divorce so I waited until it was final before I got up the nerve. It was final on March 26. It took my suitemate, friends, and coworkers three weeks to talk me into asking him to a movie on campus.
Well, I asked, and he said, "Yes". I told one person and she spread the news around the dorm. A couple of the younger gals grabbed me, dragged me into their dorm room. Gave me a new hair do, makeup, dressed me up in someone's clothes, and pushed me out the door. When I met him in the lobby, as prearranged, a bunch of the gals were at the end of the hall giggling.
"So, who did you tell about us going to the movie tonight?" he asked as we walked down the hall to the door.
I almost died of embarrassment.
"Only my suitemate," I said.
It was a good movie, and he invited me for a cup of coffee with dessert at a nearby coffee shop. While we were there, he told me that he thought I was a nice woman but he was only interested in being friends.
That's all I wanted, but I still had a crush on him.
Weeks later, I realized he had the hots for the buxom blonde who had done my hair, makeup and lent me her clothes. Much younger, buxom blonde!
Funny, I haven't met anyone that I'd like to ask out again.
Good luck, Sweetie. The worst thing he can say is "No".  | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 4:08:38 PM | | Nothing wrong with that. Although it tends to be risky so most women won't take the chance of getting rejected. In that case the best way is to hint at meeting up. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 4:20:33 PM | What the Hell you waiting for, most men would be happy as hell to be asked.
The worst things that could happen is (1) He say's No.
(2) He thinks you want to F***
I am sure you can handle it either way. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 4:24:00 PM | In my very limited experience of asking guys out, I remember the rejections the most, and am not good at taking them...AT ALL. I either need to grow a thicker skin, or wait for the guys to ask from now on....
Seems to me most guys (unlike the ones who have posted here) like to be the aggressors, I could be wrong, like I said limited experience. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 5:02:05 PM | | Jianna first of all I'd like to congratulate you and then commiserate with you. It took a lot of courage to grab the bull by the horns and ask that guy if he was interested. This has been a good thread. I think you can see from all the postings that one of the greatest compliments a woman can give a guy is to ask him out or show interest in him. Just because the guy did not feel the same way does not mean that you should feel bad about yourself. For the record you are a very attractive person and I am certain that eventually you will find somebody who is your match. If there is one thing that I've learned on POF is that there are lots and lots of attractive people who are looking. The other thing I wanted to say is never to be discouraged by failure or bad choices. The worst thing you could ever do is never to take chances. Fear of failure or rejection is what separates the winners and the losers in life. Winners just shrug it off. Losers take it to heart. You did the right thing. Hold your head high and keep on trying. | |
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Jianna
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Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 46 | |
| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 5:06:15 PM | Well I can see your point Soulfishy. I don't know if I ever will agiain but I did learn that I do take rejection well. So maybe I will try it again. I have had a great day with my kids today and have been laughing and smiling as usual. I was hurt some, I mean the words I am not interested keep hitting me now and then and that hurts but he also said he liked me and thought I was great to hang out with and talk to. I know I make him laugh. So I am ok. You should be too.
I feel most guys will ask but oppsit sex or not, dominent or not I think they get as shy as we do and I can tell you this. It took me six months to work up the courage to do this and it was NOT EASY so taking some of the pressure off them seems only fair to me. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 5:16:10 PM | | eh i say yeah its ok for a woman to ask a guy out why not. some of us guys are prety thick and dont catch on to these signs. that and it has alot to do with the fact its the 21st century. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 6:30:34 PM | | Jianna...DO IT!! I always liked it, and most guys do...b/c all of a sudden we don't have to wonder iwhether you like us or not. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/8/2006 7:04:48 PM | There is no problem in asking a man out, the main word here being "rejection" hell the poor men have been doing the asking for years and having to accept rejection " not ll that good for one's self esteem reaslly"
well I am not into womens lib, but don't any of you think fairs fair, and take the chance, Personally if I saw someone I liked enough to be interested, I would not hesitate to ask.
After all what is the worst that can happen,he can so NO, and the best he can say Yes.
Ladies it is our turn to take some of the rejection risks, so go for it | |
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