| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/15/2006 11:24:39 AM | you lost me when you said "all my coworkers think so too", what are you all telepaths or mindreaders, you should go work at the carnival. There is only one thing that will work in your situation, say this:."i would like to give you a compliment, i find you attractive but i need to know if it is mutual or i am just a fan, either way is fine, but i need to know right now.. please;; and then wait.. he'll say yes or no, if he says yes say ok do you want to do somthing about it or no. yes or no- go from there
if he says no it is not mutual; just say ok that is cool I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE AND WE ALL THINK SO IN THE OFFICE!!
-- that is the time to bring in the backup support if he burns you
good luck memorise the speech it'll take 5 mninutes
no charge
moo
ps nothing else will work | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/15/2006 11:35:24 AM | Hello again Jianna
It's unfortunate that he chose not to follow through with his original confirmation of agreeing to meet you, but I guess such is life.
Don't ever think that you have done something by asking someone out. If you don't try, how will you ever know if someone is interested. Now you have the courage to ask someone else out should the opportunity arise. Most of us get more misses than hits and there is nothing wrong with that. It's how one deals with the situation that is the key.
Don't ever think that you are not an attractive person either. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Others that cross your path with sense that and may not find you attractive only because you have given off that wibe. I think all of us feel "unattractive" at times but really who has the right to say we aren't?
One day it will happen! Just keep your spirits up. One day someone will appreciate you for who you really are and all that you have to offer.
Best of luck! | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/15/2006 11:52:47 AM | Carldeen
You sound a little shallow. Anyone should be allowed to ask anyone out. If the person isn't interested that's fine. It's amazing how our society has come to deciding that person A is a 10 therefore I am going to ask him/her out, but person B is only 4 and I will never be caught with a 4. What happened to getting to know a person and then judging. Yes there does have to be some sort of physical attraction but at the same time, I know individuals who did not find their partners "physically attractive" or would rate them as a 10, but after spending time with them and getting to know the "true" them, fell in love. Looks don't always cut it. Remember that. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/15/2006 12:22:02 PM | | I have that book and I agree on some points but some I don't. I don't see anything wrong with asking a guy out. Here's an idea. Invite him to a group gathering. That way its not really a date. Then see where it goes from there. It works. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/15/2006 9:44:21 PM | ^^^^ good work jianna, especially on the way you have handled the polite no thank you you got...good girl!
I am a proponent of the group setting myself, I kinda suck at formal dates, too nerve wracking!
carldeen, dont know what my number rating would be, prob a five or less in many books, BUT I married a ten....he was SO HOT, I thought I was the luckiest girl alive, so did all my friends. I actually had people say to me "whoa, how'd YOU get HIM??" No kidding, nice people huh....
well after 18 years, the looks dont cut it anymore needless to say, I am looking for much more out of a relationship....
so, my point?
shrugs, dunno, just dont think the number rating system works..... | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/15/2006 9:47:45 PM | | We wished more women would do what u did! Becuz when the girl approaches us it doesn't appear like we are just wanting one thing! It thrills me when they approach me, even if i'm not interested i let them know it made my day and i was completely flattered. See people seem to be forgetting something very important. Even if you ask and they say no, then you have nothing less than what you had before. As a matter of fact, after a min or so you don't mind asking someone else, cuz you know that "no" isn't the end of the world. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/15/2006 10:15:24 PM | So many women have histrionic tendencies its not even funny. Its really not that easy to distinguish genuine interest in a woman, from a woman who just flirts with people because knowing she can date anyone she wants is a large part of the basis of her self esteem.
If a woman doesn't just come out and make the first move, I completely ignore her. Its annoying to deal with these women who act like they are really interested in a guy in a romantic way simply because that woman is insecure knowing that there might one guy in the world that she might not be able to date. So when the guy reciprocates the attention the matter is resolved for the woman (she then knows she could date him). She will then pretend she never showed any interest and may even say that any inocuos thing the guy says is harassment.
Its really just not worth the trouble to play the game unless you are holding all of the cards. Most guys aren't. No hot ride? Not too great looking? Unless you have some mulah, you don't get to the girl. Just how life is. | |
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| I know where Jimma Hoffa's body is
Posted: 1/15/2006 10:30:17 PM | | no wonder everyone is single lol everyone waiting for the opposite sex to make the first move lol-get over it already.if someone interests you-just go for it | |
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Jianna
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Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 86 | |
| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 1/16/2006 11:15:41 AM | Silent Knight what I ment by my coworkers think so too where two things. 1. They thought him a shy person... the ones who deal with him that is... and 2. The one who saw him and I near one another had thought he was interested and being shy. No they are not mind readers as they where not correct LOL. But they gave their oppinions. There where really only two "Friends" I am speaking of not the whole store.
I have become insecure as a result of a very undermining marriage so this was rather difficult for me... However I do wish I had your confidence and out right blunt manner. I was put down to the point of believing it and now am coming out from the "shadows" so to speak slowly but surley.
Mystic First off Welcome back. As for liking someone sincerly or not and leading them on I am not like that at all. I have really liked only two people since I seperated from my ex. He was one of them, an no the other doesn't know and if he does he hasn't led me to believe he does. I am opting to let him make a move or not LOL
I always say this about the way I am with people in general. I am friendly, kind and loving to everyone. So if a guy thinks I am flirting with him he should observe the old lady behind him and then the child at her side. I act the same way. Now if I am interested I do flirt, with compliments or my eyes... but I guess I am not all that good at it and seeing as there are not many guys I do feel that way for it doesn't help either.
OK peace out for now you all.
Chat amoung yourselves. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 8/31/2006 12:53:56 PM | What happened to getting to know a person and then judging. Its never been a very popular way of selecting potential dates. So its not a matter of "what ever happened to it". Personally, I think its the way to go. Most people would tend to agree, but then if you watch them they don't do it.
Where's Hoffa's body? Ah yes, Jimmy Hoffa was a guy who was asked out to a bogus teamster/mafia don meeting by several of his business associates such as Frank Sheeran, Louie Milito, Charlie O'brien and possibly Rich Kuklinski (in 1975). Apparently, they blew his brains out and cremated his body an hour later despite the urban myth that he is buried under the Giants Stadium or at the bottom of one of the Great Lakes. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 8/31/2006 3:57:57 PM | | good for you. I own my own business and I get a few girls in here that I would ask out but I think it would inappropiate to ask out one of my customers. If they dont like me back, then they might not come back cos they would feel awkward. But to answer your question,i Love it when a girl asks me out. I hate the chase so if you show some interest, Im game for that! | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 8/31/2006 4:16:41 PM | | What year is it? There is nothing wrong with a woman asking a guy out. I have been asked out a few times . Allways made my day. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 8/31/2006 6:01:48 PM |
Believe me, very few women will get a No. Less than men for sure
This is part of the problem in todays dating world. Men become interested in women faster than the other way around. Men are visual creatures that have instincts more towards "desirable traits in the species" and are programmed to go after those women that display those traits, unfortunately in those attempts, we usually get rejected pretty quickly, which does make us extremely gunshy.You can only hear the words "Sorry not really interested" or just plain "NO" so many times without being very spooked to keep trying.
This may have been the case for this guy, so give it a shot. Odds are pretty damned good that he will not only say yes, but "Hell YES". | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 8/31/2006 6:13:25 PM | | Personally I really like the "Sadie Hawkins" approach! And I believe most men do. This world we live in would be a very different place if women learned to be more assertive! | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 8/31/2006 6:55:37 PM | Maybe he already has a gf?
For me... I am happy to invite a guy out, but they have to ask for my number first. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 9/1/2006 4:35:11 AM | "Maybe he's Just Not Into You" and got it in my head that if a guy does not ask you for your number or does not ask you out he is not interested. AND if you need to "make the first move" it never works out.
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M dear I have BOTH rread and reviewed that book. What a piece of garbage. A true book for burning.
Lets see now. Where is the bit about him not calling you........
Page 42 He’s not into you
Greg
If he’s not calling you its because you are not on his mind
The truth
If he’s not calling you it’s because he’s not allowed to call you. Or because your boss has told your secretary to hold all calls of a personal nature. Or because he’s up to his elbows in blood in the operating theatre. Trying to save a life is one of many reasons you are not on his mind.
If you are married, and a mother, and up to your elbows in babies, then you will know exactly what it is like to not have the time to call him.
Greg
If he creates expectations for you and then doesn’t follow through on little things he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s OK with disappointing you.
The truth
If he doesn’t follow through on little things then its because he regards them as too trivial to follow through on. You will fail to follow through on the same trivial promises to your children in about ten years time.
Greg
Don’t be with someone that doesn’t do what they say they are going to do
The truth
To honor and obey. You said that at the altar. You promised! And you have neither honored nor obeyed.
Greg
If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.
The truth
You need air, water, and food, in that order. Shelter and clothing are nice too. But designer clothing to be worn on a daily basis and a phone call scheduled to the second, is a “want” NOT A NEED.
Greg
Busy is another word for ***hole. ***hole is the guy you’re dating
The truth
Busy is another word for busy.
***hole?? You would have to be talking about a junkie, addicted to multiple drugs, who had beaten up at least one girlfriend badly enough to cripple her, and had raped his own five year old daughter. These lowlife’s do actually exist but a naive kid like you has never known a true ***hole.
Greg
You deserve a ****ing phone call.
The truth
No you don’t. Not until you’ve smartened up your whole attitude to men. | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:36:03 PM | Hi,
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking a guy out, I have done it
myself and have never gotten any "no's"
I think anyone, is flattered to be asked out.
Most people fear rejection, or the risk of being embarrassed. I think it takes
a lot of guts to get the nerve up to ask someone out, especially if you have
wanted to for a long time.
Now, some posters said the same thing I am thinking, yeah, why is it that
a lot of men do not pick up on obvious hints????? | |
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| Asking guys out... Do or don't
Posted: 9/5/2006 9:14:59 PM | I would love it if a woman would ask me out with one caveat: as long as they are decent looking; I don't expect a head turner; it would be nice; but really don't expect it. I am pretty shy still so unless I have a pretty good idea that a lady is interested, I don' t approach. I don't get many lingering stares...or smiles.
So yeah...I would love it. | |
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