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 trailviews
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 251
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Match.com are irresponsiblePage 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Most of the sites are about the same. I think the key thing is finding a site with the most singles in your area (unless you're looking to move). If I stuck with the free sites, I'd never meet anyone as there are very few people in my area on the free sites. On most of the pay sites, you can usually work out some kind of $20/month deal over 3 months or less. Honestly, if you can't afford $20/month to meet single people, maybe dating isn't a priority to you. If a free site has a lot of singles in your area, that's a bonus!

As people have already said, on most sites, you can code you e-mail address in some way that it'll get through. That does bother me that you have to do this, personally I think if I'm already paying I should be able to send them my e-mail address, phone number, etc. if I want to.

As a couple of people have mentioned, I believe match.com does not even let people read messages they've received unless they pay. I think that's a horrible way to do business, once again, if I'm paying to send an e-mail, I should be assured that the person I'm sending it to is receiving it. But, to match.com's credit, it's the only site I actually know people who have met and gotten married through.

eHarmony's guided communication process is similar, where both people have to be paying members to communicate. eHarmony has some "free communication weekends" usually around holiday weekends, where if you sign up in advance to build up some matches and try it out for a long weekend. Then if you shut matching off after that weekend, they will usually contact you in a few weeks with a discount to sign up. I personally think whatever compatibility matching they do is a farce, BUT they do claim to have 3 women on the site for every 2 men, which is a huge plus compared to other sites.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 252
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:26:42 AM
People have met and gotten married on pretty much every site, trail. You don't really know if Match is any better than others unless you read some reputable statistics. Sounds like I may do some Googling. But again, why go through all the creative back-dooring (imbedding email addys, having to negotiate a lower sub, etc) on pay sites when this one's free?

OK, just did a quick search. Not sure if one can even find a statistical survey of relationship success because of the guarded nature of the industry, but I did find this very basic overview...

What the Research Says

• Match.com (*est. $30 per month)

Best online dating site overall. In reviews, Match.com emerges as the largest and most refined online dating service. Reviews praise it for its ease of use and excellent search options. Match.com helps you create your profile and compose e-mails. It also offers video profiles, instant messaging and video e-mails. Experts like its keyword search function and two-way matching that checks for common interests in both profiles. You can search and browse for free, but you must subscribe to send or receive e-mails from members. Reviews say Match.com is a fun dating site that has the most diverse range of members.

• Chemistry.com (*est. $50 per month)

Online dating site for serious singles. Chemistry.com, an offshoot of Match.com, is very similar to eHarmony, but it's less expensive, with a less restrictive membership policy. There is a lengthy personality test; then the system tries to match you with others based on your answers. Searching profiles is not permitted; you have to wait for Chemistry.com to send you matches. Unlike other sites, Chemistry.com asks for feedback on the level of interest you have in your matches so the computer can be trained to find you better matches. The first five matches are free, but you must subscribe to the service before you can contact them.

• Lavalife.com (*est. $30 per month)

Best casual dating site. Reviews say Lavalife.com's features and fun attitude set it apart from other online dating sites. Lavalife.com lets users choose between three divisions: dating, relationships and intimate encounters. You can create a separate profile for each. Unlike Match.com and other services, Lavalife.com offers online chat in addition to instant messaging and video clips.

• PlentyofFish.com (free, http://www.plentyoffish.com)

**Best free dating service** PlentyofFish.com, a free online dating service, boasts over a million members and has grown solely by word of mouth. Reviews say it offers many of the same features as paid services, such as help creating a profile and the ability to search by age range, gender or region. PlentyofFish.com also has some noteworthy features. There is a forum and an area where members can rate each other. However, PlentyofFish.com lacks the sophisticated profile matching and communication features of many paid sites.

Source http://www.consumersearch.com/www/internet/online-dating/index.html?referrer=yahoo_ssp
 trailviews
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 253
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Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:41:53 AM
I personally know 2 couples who are married and met on match.com, lived in my area, and soon to be 3 couples. I know of zero from other sites. Recommendation of (like-minded) friends, counts as a reputable source for me.

why go through all the creative back-dooring (imbedding email addys, having to negotiate a lower sub, etc) on pay sites when this one's free?

Did you actually read my post, it's right there in the first paragraph.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 254
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:49:46 AM

Did you actually read my post, it's right there in the first paragraph.


Whoa, don't get all bent out of shape. My comment was just a general statement reiterating my earlier views and not directed solely at you.

Yes, I do agree, having personal experience is a great barometer, but since Match is the largest service and the most visible it's not surprising you're hearing more relationship success from them. Statistical research would tell if they have the best success "proportionally" compared to other services. In other words, a smaller service might have a better success rate than the larger ones in proportion to their membership size, but not overall count.

Mo
 alleytat
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 255
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:27:52 AM
I have been on several sites.... I think they are misleading when they show me profiles of previous members that no longer are subscribers. I also dont appreciate being used by dating sites that post my picture/profile to mislead someone to think they can contact me by joining the site.
If I sign up with a pay site..... I want to see only women who have paid also.... otherwise, its a huge waste of time and the only entity that benifits is the paysite.... Match.com-Guilty, EHarmony-Guilty, Yahoo-Guilty, EquestrianSingles-Guilty, FarmersOnly-Guilty....

Of course we all know that money/greed is what makes the world go around. It will never change. These personal sites are what they are....

As far as success stories, Reminds me of playing slots at the Casino.... everyones throwing in money and once in awhile you hear about someone hitting a jackpot and finding love ..... but theres a landslide of people who walk out the door broke and frustrated.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 256
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:37:20 AM
You can use chemistry free while on match, at least I did. At the very bottom of your match page--if you are signed in--is a link.
 trailviews
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 257
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Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:00:55 AM

I have been on several sites.... I think they are misleading when they show me profiles of previous members that no longer are subscribers. I also dont appreciate being used by dating sites that post my picture/profile to mislead someone to think they can contact me by joining the site.
If I sign up with a pay site..... I want to see only women who have paid also.... otherwise, its a huge waste of time and the only entity that benifits is the paysite.... Match.com-Guilty, EHarmony-Guilty, Yahoo-Guilty, EquestrianSingles-Guilty, FarmersOnly-Guilty....

That's silly. The free sites have just as many members, if not more, who are no longer active. Unless someone uses the forums on this site, it's very difficult to determine if they actively use this site.

On any decent site, you can hide your profile from searches. I keep my profile up on some sites I don't subscribe to because I am perfectly willing to pay to respond the the "right" woman if she contacts me. One of the reasons I like Yahoo as a pay site is because they offer a few canned free responses, so you can say, thanks but I'm not interested for free if you'd like, or others use the I'm interested response to get people to send them their e-mail.

As far as success stories, Reminds me of playing slots at the Casino.... everyones throwing in money and once in awhile you hear about someone hitting a jackpot and finding love ..... but theres a landslide of people who walk out the door broke and frustrated.

I've met some women who I otherwise wouldn't have met, and a few are still good friends. If that's as good as it gets, and I meet the right person elsewhere, that's still success to me.
 trailviews
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 258
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Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:14:24 AM

Whoa, don't get all bent out of shape. My comment was just a general statement reiterating my earlier views and not directed solely at you.

Yes, I do agree, having personal experience is a great barometer, but since Match is the largest service and the most visible it's not surprising you're hearing more relationship success from them. Statistical research would tell if they have the best success "proportionally" compared to other services. In other words, a smaller service might have a better success rate than the larger ones in proportion to their membership size, but not overall count.

I think you still really missed my point, unless you live in a major metro area, your success on a smaller service (or even a larger one) is highly dependent on how many other people in your area use that service. You need to pick a service where there are actually a significant number of members in your area. That's the statistics I'd recommend looking into in choosing a service. If that site also turns out to be free, even better!
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 259
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:15:42 AM

I think you still really missed my point, unless you live in a major metro area, your success on a smaller service (or even a larger one) is highly dependent on how many other people in your area use that service. You need to pick a service where there are actually a significant number of members in your area. That's the statistics I'd recommend looking into in choosing a service. If that site also turns out to be free, even better!


True, if your criteria for finding success is ruled strictly by how big a dating service is. If that's the overriding logic, everybody should join Match and get off every other sites, but that's not the reality. The reality is most people are on "multiple" sites to widen their search range as much as possible (reason being no one site has every potential available choice). If people can pay to be on a lot of sites, fine, it's their money. I just found most can't (hence all the creative ways to get around pay site rules put forth just in this thread alone).

I was on Match for awhile and found choices were many, but also found the women seemed to be the most high maintenance and elitist of all the sites I've been on. That's been MY personal experience, so I really don't care how many people married from there. That's "never" been my overriding criteria.
 Redhead beauty
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 260
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Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:36:59 AM
STICK WITH THIS ONE

U WILL FIND MOST DATING SITES ARE A CON
THE ONLY OTHER GOOD ONE BEING GIRLS DATE FOR FREE

FREE FOR THE LADIES THOUGH MEN MAY HAVE TO PAY
ITS ALL A CON
 backflipsforinsomnia
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 261
Match.com and others
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:57:20 PM
I've been recently getting ... Well, I suppose it's spam from chemistry.com. They want me to join, they've got way too many women, all sorts of "you'll find someone quick" bait.
I've looked, but their pricing plans are hidden *Very* well. That sort of thing fosters distrust for me.. I don't want to spend all that time filling out my profile then find out it's $50 to contact someone.

I highly doubt my results will be any better ofer there than here- So why not save my cash for lunch with a cutie?
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 262
Match.com and others
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:07:50 PM

I highly doubt my results will be any better ofer there than here- So why not save my cash for lunch with a cutie?


That's the spirit, backflip.
 Timothy25
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 263
Match.com and others
Posted: 1/6/2008 2:08:12 PM
Maybe greedy crooks have taken over match.com when it was free. It's not a pure rip off. I even use that site. The best thing is forwarding profiles to friends and family.
 rjw56
Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 264
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:59:39 PM
What Match does with emails is illegal,like a landlord going into his renters apartment and snooping.No one has taken them to court yet.Once you pay for a service,they can not tell you what you may or maynot say.See what a judge says in court.Because you agree to their terms,does not make the agreement legal,esp when it involves tampering with someones mail.Thats all I can say here.
 Timothy25
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 265
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:48:55 AM
Maybe I will stay with the free sites. I know someone who found a girlfriend on match.com and they didn't share a success story. Success stories could be fake and could be for real.
 foxybear 66
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 266
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:09:53 PM
Well since every one has said about Match.com i try it a few years back with no response Then Now I have decide to try plenty of fish.com . I have not gotton tomuch response from ladies except one or at least 3 that put me in there favorite which is great as well and I like that too. Yes i may be only casually dating to see how it will work out with some one. But I have one on True.com and had the free trail.I decide to ssign up for a a month or so. I have had ladies seem to be interested in me on that one site and started dating casual with her as just friends. But I also made some lady friend on here as well and they were from other dating site. But most of women I have contacted say I not there not interested. Which is ok as ell we all have our different interest in what we are looking for in aRelationship. I stick with plenty of fish for a long while until I found the one I would like to have or unless she find me frist and then we see where it go from there. any way So long for now. happy fishing you all.
 Moongirl616
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 267
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Match.com just isn't worth your time!
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:27:58 PM
I joined Match.com a year ago and have been on it on and off for even longer. Everyone I have met there was just looking for some tail. If tail is your thing great, but that was not the original concept behind the site. It's turned into a meat market, so I terminated my membership. To answer your question, at the beginning of your profile, put something like. If you'd like to contact me, you can always reach me at ( ) at that America on the line site, since I'm not a member here. Usually that works.

This site has blown me away, I met someone great and right away. I would go back to craigslist which I also had some success on, before I would ever do match again
 outofthedesert
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 268
Match.com just isn't worth your time!
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:32:11 PM
I have been on Match and gotten a few good dates. I did rejoin because a guy I wanted to meet was on there and had winked at me. They are having a 15% off special. I do prefer this site, but I was interested in that man. Funny thing, been on here six months nothing happening. I rejoined Match yesterday and have received 6 emails today! Where were those guys yesterday?
 Timothy25
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 269
Match.com just isn't worth your time!
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:38:29 AM
I haven't met that many girls on match.com and I heard that there were people successful with the site who have gotten married. I think that all they care about is the money they get.
 J.Kellar
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 270
Match.com and others
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:14:48 AM
there is no way to stop them,it took me a bit to figure out that it is a promo trick and that there really is no one looking to contact me......reason i know this is i put a bunch of random words on my profile that dont even make sense in pig latin so why would anyone contact me other than match.crap wanting to trick me.......all the pay sites are fake and gold diggers
 ocaptnbob
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 271
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Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:10:39 PM
Has anyone done some QUICK math about these online dating sites?

Match.com claims to have over a million active members. (They don't seem to delete inactive members, because big numbers draw new subscribers).

One million members, times an average of $20 a month is TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS A MONTH in revenues, with minimal overhead. So now you know how they afford the prime time TV ads... but I agree, if a lady wishes to give me her direct email address in her email so I may contact her back, HOW DARE the dating website edit the email address so I MUST subscribe in order to communicate with her?

Greed is an ugly thing and I think they've missed the point.

just my 2 cents.
 ocaptnbob
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 272
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Match.com just isn't worth your time!
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:17:39 PM

I joined Match.com a year ago and have been on it on and off for even longer. Everyone I have met there was just looking for some tail. If tail is your thing great, but that was not the original concept behind the site. It's turned into a meat market, so I terminated my membership.


I am hearing that A LOT LATELY, that's it has become a meet market (meat market?) for people just looking to get LAID, not necessarily real long term relationships.

Once WOMEN realize this is the case, they'll drop off. Once MEN realize this is the case, it will be flooded with horn dogs looking for one thing and one thing only.

Thus the beginning of the end for match.com - but hey, the revenues of $20 million plus a MONTH should allow the owners and executives to retire quite nicely, so they won't be too upset when their website fails.

 darylr
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 273
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:21:22 PM
You have to watch True.com also. I was a member of that site about a year ago. Within the past couple of months, i kept getting emails from them saying you have 3 new emails in your inbox. So i, like a dummy, subscribed for another month, just out of curiosity of who emailed me. I get on there, and lo and behold, no emails in my inbox. I guess i learned a lesson there. But its pretty sad that they do shit like that to get people to subscribe. Are there any other good sites out there besides this one?
 lok
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 274
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:09:09 PM
There is a trick , that very few people know about ( unfortunately ) , have 2 email addresses , register with one , and use the other as your user name ( not with the @hotmail dot com prefix )

EG: email 1 mynamehere@hotmail
email 2 anamehere@hotmail

register mynamehere as your user name , but use the anamehere as your actual email address , this way you can contact other members without blowing your actual registered with them email address.

this saves the whole trying to hide your email address in your profile act. You can be caught out , as they have methods to find out ( usually a spam email sent out to the user name , and if you answer they know , so you have to answer VERY carefully , or use another alternate email addy , but dont answer to their question , stasrt with one of your own , like " i saw your profile on X site , and thought i would email you , my user name is XYZ .

It does take some tweaking , and , like i said not everyone does it ( for privacy issues - im sure people dont want more stalkers than they already have lol )

But its the free sites like this one that more people should know about. I dont see why it should cost you hard earned money to end up empty handed.
 Timothy25
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 275
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:41:10 PM
If OK Cupid becomes a pay site I am giving it up. I stay with this site too and I am not getting responses on this site. I have met very few girls on match.com.
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