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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:09:08 PM | | heyyyy...my thread turned into a "hookup"thread! All I hope is he can commit to you A103 ...well at least to taking you to a game! LOL | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 128 | |
| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:10:32 PM | It's YamI I have to get to committ... to a game.. *sigh*.. my work is cut out for me.. You're on Summer!!!!!!! | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:10:45 PM | @ Cutie squirrly--
Heck, if you can't flirt on a dating site, then what's this place good for? | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:30:14 PM | @summer teeth...oh for sure...I was just bringing it back on topic!
so commit dammit! well at least to taking her to a game. LOL | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:34:23 PM | I can commit to more flirting. Will that work? I can commit to compliments and humor. Other than that, the females on the this forum who like me (which is questionable in itself) are SOL. It's a forum, not an orgy. What a shame . . .  | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:35:40 PM | OK...as long as you don't end up on the curb alone... | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 133 | |
| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:36:32 PM | I can't committ to an orgy.. I don't like to share.  | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:37:25 PM | | I'll always have a pet, my music, and a local library. I have no fear of the curb. It's almost guaranteed that each of us will end up there again. | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:55:54 PM | | I'm not afraid of ending up on the curb. I'm afraid of ending up at the altar with a woman who just wants a sugar daddy. That was me the last time around. The curb may be lonely, sometimes, but it's a lot better than being lonely WITH someone. | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 136 | |
| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:56:53 PM |
The curb may be lonely, sometimes, but it's a lot better than being lonely WITH someone.
TRUE THAT!!!!!!  | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 7:15:23 PM |
No playoff tix???
Well, allow me to clarify - my season tickets are University of Pittsburgh football. I split a pairof Steelers season tickets four ways.
Oh, and the Steelers don't have a home playoff game this year  But I'll be breaking the bank when the Steelers make it to the Super Bowl | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 138 | |
| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/5/2006 11:02:04 PM |
But I'll be breaking the bank when the Steelers make it to the Super Bowl
Ok Yam, I'll split that bank break with ya and we'll hit steeltown together!! | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 7:29:00 AM | | well the new book I told you about in the "husbands survey on housework" thread also says that men are not committment phobic. In fact 90 % of men will get married in their lifetimes and 85% will do the asking. It's just that they are very careful. Who woulda thunk it? | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 7:31:02 AM | Squirrly, please allow me to direct you to my first post in this thread:
I will add this (and I am probably going to be bashed): I think men take marriage much more seriously than women. They want to make sure they are ready, where as I think Western society programs women to be ready from the first time they pick up a “Wedding Barbie.” And nowadays, I think men have to be even more careful. A woman will divorce you without thinking twice. A single co-worker of mine is coming up on 29. She’s been engaged once, lived with another guy for three years but has never been married. The thought consumes her. I think if I asked her, she would marry me tomorrow. I find more women who are like that than guys who are like that.
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 7:43:11 AM | | but YamI , could it be that sometimes men err on the side of being too cautious? I have a few forum buddies I chat to who are in their 30's and are starting to feel like they missed the boat because they haven't been married and haven't had kids and now they are looking to settle down and start families and are finding all the women in their age group already have kids and a have had a committed relationship before them. Some women are even feeling a little cautious about them because they never had a "real" relationship because they have been too busy sewing their oats. And the women think they are either players or losers. | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:04:53 AM | squirrly, I read your original post, and personally I think to some, and/or most, loving someone and commitment are not always on the same page....you can love someone but fear commitment, cuz commitment is from within yourself. It might not necessarily have anything to do with you. He could be a VERY independant person, or maybe a bad something in the past made him a little skiddish in committing.....doesn't mean he didn't love her.
It also could have meant that he didn't want to get tied down for the fear of being exclusive with 1 person from this point forward.....never know...
but doesn't mean he didn't love her....but from the sound of things that probably wasn't the only time that situation arose....and she finally said, enough of waiting and left. But personally, someone leaving and walking away is more harsh then the other who knows , but just maybe doesn't know how to express it. | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:07:09 AM | | And squirrly, your last comment is totally my situation, I was hoping to be married years ago and start a family, but just haven't found her, partially cuz I am picky, and partially cuz most who assume I am a player before even getting to know me. I can't shake that stigma. It's their loss....but I am young for my age so I am not worried about it, I am more worried about the numbers dwindling of who is single and not with a full family not wanting more. | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:07:26 AM | Squirrly,
You also have a chat buddy in this forum who is in his 30s who did the marriage thing and had the family who is now divorced, sees his child less often than he would like, struggles to fight through every day as he tries to be a dozen things at once and gets 2 to 4 hours of sleep per night. Who’s better off?
No, I don’t think men can err too much on the side of caution. I think we too often err on the side of allowing our emotions to get the better of us. If it’s meant for your friends to get married and/or start a family, it will happen. There will be some woman somewhere willing to play that role in their lives. | |
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joesch
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Joined: 4/21/2003
Msg: 145 | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:14:39 AM | Yet another interesting thread... I'll start off with an excerpt from peaches WAY back on page 1...
And some men dont like to say the L word either "i love you" .. as women we take it Seriously - and I suppose we shouldnt but we do
Not all women take that L word seriously, I had hooked up with a girl and within the first night of our lovemaking she was somewhat blitzed and kept asking me to tell me I loved her during. Each time I had to firmly reply that I was sorry, that I liked her thus far, but could not say those words to her because it wasn't true.  I've only said those words to one woman in my life, and meant every last bit of it and will never say them again if I don't feel that way.
Next on to the actual story of this guy and "The One that got away"  If he said he wasn't ready for a commitment but didn't qualify it as his final stance, then that was her problem for being unable/unwilling to wait it out. He dated her, he moved in with her, clearly he must have had some desire to build something with her, he just wasn't ready for the final stage yet. She should have tried to talk it out further than just pack her bags and leave.
The funny thing about these women catching the wedding bug and the race to beat the biological clock is that a lot of them wind up single and knocked up after a few years and are right back on the dating circuit, a kid or two at their side and a whole new bag of issues. A lot of my friends caught this settling down bug once they hit their early twenties, and I have been the last soldier still fighting in the trenches of the dating circuit. When asked why I haven't conformed and settled in yet I simply reply "I'm just enjoying myself, my freedom, and waiting it out until I'm ready". I wish them all the best with their relationships, but I for one feel no need to rush things if they aren't really there. Besides, I'm just about to be old enough to clean up on the "second round, slightly-damaged" dating circuit - hot divorcees with issues. Patience has its privileges and I may just land my hot lady love yet. I can't even begin to tell you the number of profiles I see of women age 25 and up already listed as having kids but single...
I guess I'm just in a quirky mood this morning so please do not take offense with my previous expressions, but all I'm trying to say is that there's nothing wrong with not wanting to commit to someone right away if you're honest about that up front. I for one would love to find someone to settle down with, not sure if I want to be bothered with kids, but if it doesn't happen I won't stress out over it, I rather enjoy my solitary lifestyle and freedom (except for not getting any, THAT's hard...)  | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:35:03 AM | @tigerwoods, you are 26 yrs old....believe me in another 5 to 10 yrs you maybe singing a different tune.
There are a few guys on here in their 30's whose biological clocks are ticking more than the females because most of the females have kids as you already stated. They are looking for a woman who doesn't have children and who isn't a gold digger. Now a girl who knows she is going to have to give up work to have kids is of course going to be worried about a man's ability to provide and yet men think they are being gold diggers if they ask about their job.
@ YamI, I know you got married rather young and it didn't work out. You certainly DID commit and it basically bit you in the butt so to speak and now you are totally running scared of commitment. | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:38:42 AM | | LOL, Squirrly, I prefer to say I am now enlightened. | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:39:44 AM | | LIVE AND LEARN.......you continually have to learn how to shed your skins as you get burned or make a mistake or have bad luck, or you will never continue to grown as a person inside and out and no one will ever see what you have to offer as a result of that. | |
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| Men and commitment
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:44:39 AM |
LIVE AND LEARN
It’s the key to life. When you keep repeating the same mistakes, it’s the same as puttiing your car in neutral and wondering why you’re not going anywhere. | |
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