Fishisme wrote in the opening post,
I asked him to slow things down because I felt that going at such a rapid pace wouldn't be conducive to creating a solid relationship foundation. Heck, I was just getting to know him....
I never understood how getting to know someone as soon as possible is a negative thing. Isn’t that what it’s all about, getting to know the person?
Mysterious lady writes in msg 26,
….don't let any guy talk you into something you are not ready for.
Ahhh, that’s probably what the guy figured out. She wasn’t ready so he left.
SunflowerSally writes in msg 31,
If he is truly caring and concerned about you, he will never pressure you to go faster than you want to go.
Faster that wanting to go where? Getting to know him? Don’t we all wish we knew everything about the person we’re dating? Their likes and dislikes and good and bad moods and everything else?
I don’t see the logic behind not wanting to know someone as soon as possible. What other reason than one is simply not interested? Assuming one is looking for a long term relationship, a live together couple type relationship, why wouldn’t one want to get to know the other person?
“Knowing” doesn’t involve quitting ones job or selling their home or any other drastic changes to their life. I wonder if the guy’s insistence on dates was more to do with thinking up reasons to be together rather than doing any specific thing.
The OP mentioned they lived a distance apart so that probably prevented them from just getting together “casually” like dropping over for dinner one night during the week without making a big deal out of it.
I never found solely going out on dates a good way to know someone. It was the “do nothing” times at home (cooking a dinner together, just watching TV, having a BBQ in the back yard) that really showed what the person was like. No outside distractions. That’s how the majority of time will be spent when they become a couple. That’s probably why he wanted to stay at a hotel for the festival. Spend a couple of days together and see the person from morning to night.
Some people have to have excitement all the time. They can’t just “be” with someone. Is it the entertainment or the person they’re really interested in? Also, we so often hear of people disappearing after a few weeks/months of dating especially with computer introductions. People want to know if the other person is serious, if they care for them, if they’re not just there for something to do. If someone is not interested in knowing the other person as soon as possible we must ask, “why?”
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That was so funny...