| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/19/2007 6:59:37 PM | soulsistanumberone: (tried to send you a message but you have females blocked) but in answer to your question. absolutely I would marry a black guy - if he treated me with respect, loved me, nurtured me, was my friend, confidante etc etc. why should the colour of his skin make any difference to why I loved him and he loved me! my mother 50 years ago married a foreigner - who could hardly speak english and was a catholic, but did it anway because they loved each other!
for me I look deeper than the outside package - there is so much more to a person than the colour of their skin. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:05:24 PM | to the op: ok at first I thought you were being rude and racist until I read the last part. I am a white woman who is very much attracted to black men. I cant help if I find that they ooze sex appeal and I find them appealing and generally have treated me with much more respect than the white guys I have dated.It has nothing to do with their "parts".Frankly I wish people would do as you say...look beyond the color and realize we are all part of one race, the human race. Why is it we dont have to explain of we are attracted to tall people, blonds, brunettes etc yet for some its such a big deal to date outside ones race. As for the people who said that black guys date big women cause we are easy and will do everything they ask of us in and out of the bedroom?
GET REAL!!! I treat the man Im dating the same way as he treats me, I do not wait on him hand and foot and cater to his needs unless he caters to mine. I am definitely not easy because Im a big woman, I do not go to clubs and grind with men and I certainly dont take them home for sex, so stop generalizing please. In fact if a man cant take the time and get to know me first, he doesnt stand a chance! As for sex, if a man doesnt give as much as he gets, he isnt getting any! Im no pushover just because Im a big white woman! | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:07:11 PM |
for me I look deeper than the outside package - there is so much more to a person than the colour of their skin.
Well, said Mizzjudged, no matter what my preference is, he has to have CHARACTER, strong values, kind, good personality, or he won't make it to the next date. It really is the person inside that counts. Good point. Although, I do date white guys, I will date a man any color that I am attracted to and has the goods "inside" of himself. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:08:05 PM | | Hey tigerwoods? why did you have to make your post referring to big women? did you have to go there? the thread started was about dating outside your race not about big girls. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:28:56 PM | | most of the time i see black guys with ugly white girls who nobody wants 200+ pounds | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 7:46:06 AM | you're not desparate for dating outside your race... your motives may be, but you are not... black men are men... i lOOOOOOOVVVE white men i haven't dated a black man in two and half years... i'm not desparate i just am more attracted to white men. and i don't mean wiggers in denial, i mean really white as can be i prfer them to like FMX or skaters... but i'm not set on that...
i got an email on my-space from these black men furiious that i betrayed our race by dating "the man". i really relate to this topic becasue everyone thinks that if you date outside your race that you've given up on your race or you've tried all the black men in town and they all turned you down... not the case... i just haven't ran across a black man with a good enough attitude towards black women | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 8:00:11 AM | Who cares what other people think or what silly as* myths they cling to.
This kind of mentality has been going on since the beginning of time. Remember the fools who would not accept the fact that the world was round and clung to the myth that the world was flat !!!
Nuff said. Screw them and their dumb as* myths.
Peace | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 9:05:14 AM | i just haven't ran across a black man with a good enough attitude towards black women
What type of attitude do black men you've encountered had towards black women. Just curious, I've never heard that as a reason before from a black woman, but I usually hear black men say that about black women. Me, I just date who whoever will have me. :) | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 9:17:25 AM | Desperate Black Men
Message: i just haven't ran across a black man with a good enough attitude towards black women
What type of attitude do black men you've encountered had towards black women. Just curious, I've never heard that as a reason before from a black woman, but I usually hear black men say that about black women. Me, I just date who whoever will have me. :)
I am a BW and I hear this all of the time from other BW. BM are very disrespectful towards BW. This is why you have heard this from BM and not BW because BM are always putting BW down to elevate themselves and to try to justify their reasons for dating outside of the race. I mostly date WM and men of other races because a lot of what the orginal poster states is true. A lot of BM will run over an attractive BW to get to a big WW. I have seen this many times. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 9:30:00 AM |
I am a BW and I hear this all of the time from other BW. BM are very disrespectful towards BW.
I was talking to a friend of mine lastnight about this and I told her, I really feel that as a whole black women don't make could choices in the black men they choose and then think that we are the problem. I find it funny that there are so many good black men in this country, but yet people tend to portray us in a negative light. Also, I catch a lot of hell from black women by the testimonials I've recieved from white women on the site, but truth be told i've never dated a white woman. They are just friends I've met from forums, but because of stereotypes i get berated. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 9:43:34 AM | Hey tigerwoods? why did you have to make your post referring to big women? did you have to go there? the thread started was about dating outside your race not about big girls.
Well I was surprised to see this old thread bubbled it's way back to the surface, and more surprised to see someone read my post and called me out on it, so allow me to recap my opinion on the subject.
The original thread TOPIC was called "Desperate Black Men", and had implications that all black men were desperate for white women of any shape or form, including the BBWs.
I responded by saying that it is sad but true that I have witnessed some of my young black male "peers" (I cannot even consider them my peers due to how differently we behave) in nightclubs latching on to any chick they see. While I like to believe they are not the majority, it only takes a few bad apples for stereotypes to get started.
How this stereotype has affected me personally is that I've had numerous BBWs approach me in nightclubs and just expect me to take them home, a few even blatantly asked me "what's wrong? Aren't you guys supposed to take me home if I ask?" 
I don't date fat women, of ANY skin color, and that's MY preference. Furthermore I am extremely vexed by anyone that subscribes to this stereotype and believes I will live up to it. I've grappled with that for the 27 years of my life, and it has left me angry and self-isolated from the black community because I'm just too damned frustrated by how we've let our public image deteriorate. And YES I do mean WE as a community have let it drop because every person is an ambassador of our race and if we act the fool, we make the situation worse for all of us. 
So my past thread posts were not intended to attack BBWs specifically, I'm just tired of SOME of them assuming they have a chance with me just because I'm black, and I've had this happen to me in my hometown of Montreal, in Toronto where I now live, in the States when I've gone there on work assignment, and even just recently in Australia when I lived there for 9 months on work assignment. I'm sick of it!  | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:10:12 AM | I was talking to a friend of mine lastnight about this and I told her, I really feel that as a whole black women don't make could choices in the black men they choose and then think that we are the problem. I find it funny that there are so many good black men in this country, but yet people tend to portray us in a negative light. Also, I catch a lot of hell from black women by the testimonials I've recieved from white women on the site, but truth be told i've never dated a white woman. They are just friends I've met from forums, but because of stereotypes i get berated.
Well, I'm sorry that you are having to go through this but the fact remains the same. I just love it when BM try to paint BW as the problem and that it is our fault that these men are making these statements. I have not met these men most of them come online and berate BW to make themselves look and feel better about themselves. If you don't do it then I am not talking about you but many of your fellow counterparts do and it is really disgusting. I don't deal with any man regardless of race that disrepects me. BM are doing a great job in their rap music, which by the way I don't listen to and several BW that I know don't listen to it either, but we are accused of wanting a thug, well swettie I have never wanted a thug and most women Black or White want a man that can and will be a man.
I applaud the poster for posting this forum because what he saying is true to a large extent and he is just expressing his disgust with people automatically assuming that just because he is a BM that he will take anything as long as it has White skin and for most BM that is not the case but because so many BM do he is put in the same category and that is just not fair. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:24:28 AM | Whether a black man dates a white woman, or a black woman dates a white man...it is NOBODY'S business okay. As far as black men prefering BBW, they are just like the rest of us...we all have our likes and dislikes in a person.
I am a larger woman, not quite BBW, and I will not date a fat man...call it my own prejudice against myself...I've never quite figured out why I am this way...Overweight with a belly is fine...I'm talking huge here 300 #'s on a 5'10 fram etc.
I also will not date a man with long hair...period...clean cut is a must...and he must shower regularly...(believe me some don't)
and lastly, I would venture to say that there are many more desperate white men on line than black men...the black men are always attractive and well kept. I can't say the same for the white men on here...Your picture is your best aid in finding a woman, and there are some nasty pictures on here...and you wonder why we are so picky.
enough said
Me
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:37:43 AM |
I just love it when BM try to paint BW as the problem and that it is our fault that these men are making these statements.
Some of the time it is the woman's fault just like it's the man's sometimes. The rappers do not represent the majority of black men, but like I said i still think a lot BW make bad decisions in the black men they date then try to give the whole that stigma.
I usually date older black women and for the most part they were ALWAYS negative towards black men and I would have to cut things off, but then I realized something I was the one choosing these type of women. So now i just make better selections. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:03:05 AM | magnanimous one,
It is the BM like you that are rare finds, the good guys that unfortunately are lumped in the same category with the rest. As a BW I know what is like to be stereotyped right off the bat, and that is the danger of stereotypes because they hurt everyone.
Any woman that is fortunate enough to meet you and get to know you will quickly know that you are a keeper. I wish you the best in your search and regardless of what race the woman is that you are with I know that you will treat her with the respect and dignity that she deserves. I think Aretha said it best all we want is a little RESPECT.
Have a great day and God Bless  | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:10:11 AM |
I was talking to a friend of mine lastnight about this and I told her, I really feel that as a whole black women don't make could choices in the black men they choose and then think that we are the problem. I find it funny that there are so many good black men in this country, but yet people tend to portray us in a negative light.
Magnanimous, I agree with this. There are good black men out there, definitely. I've gotten e-mails from black men who seem to have their lives together. What's more I KNOW black men, family members and friends, who are good men. There are generalization and stereotypes about all different ethnicities of people unfortunately. I think your point is, that you just cannot generalize, and I agree with that. A problem man is a problem man, and they are found in ALL different skin colors. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:33:33 AM | Keeping it real though, I have to say that I have seen several black men, and like one poster said, a lot of them seem to be bald and thin, with overweight, unattractive, white women. That is their choice. I don't think that these men are in the majority though. And I don't know why this is their choice, I can presume all I want, but unless I get in their head, I don't know.
On the other side of the coin, the black men in my family, my nephews, cousins, in-laws, choose well-educated, attractive BLACK women that have something going for them. The one exception that I know of is the hispanic girl my nephew is dating, but she is fairly attractive and educated (almost finished with her college degree).
If black men are choosing overweight unattractive white women for reasons other than their character and personality, it's a sad thing, but it will NOT be either of my two sons who do this-I'm willing to bet on that one. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:42:49 AM | | being a white woman i hear that sterio type alot...as a white woman that dates only black males ..well for the most part .. its just my personal preference ...and my son is bi racial...i think it is pathetic... color is just the color of someone skin i dont think you should date someone based on their skin tone...i date black men because thats what im attracted to physicly and mentaly... and if one day i find a white male that im attracted to id have no problem dating him either. The truth is beauty if in the eyes of the beholder regardless of race or sex height or weight... you cnat possibly just love someone for their skin .. you have to love that person ona spiritual and mental level aswell!! | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:58:16 AM | I must apologize, but this is one instance that I felt racism was a good thing. My roommate and I would go out to clubs and all the ugly, fat white women would be up his shit because he was black which left me free to mingle with the more attractive specimens of the species.
Of course his opinion on the matter would be in complete contradiction to my own.  | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 12:09:45 PM | Good grief this is 1970's thinking when it was the 'in' thing to do!!!
People are attracted to a certain type or look for such basic reasons we do not even know or understand why in most cases. (exception, being attracted over and over to the wrong type of person, abusers etc) People are people and I don't see color I see human beings. When people are nice, polite and have had a good upbringing they are attractive people, good people. Well worth knowing, race, color, nationality plays no role in this.
I do not have my picture on this site and prefer those contacts that don't either. I am at an age where I have figured it out that looks account for NOTHING!!! More problems in most cases. If you fall in love with someone that person always becomes beautiful...........it's what is on the inside not the outside that is most important. So color of skin is of little importance in the big picture.
I am attracted to black men, always have been and paid a high price with the elders of my family BUT they did not have to live my life. My life has always been outside the box, thank GOD for that. Believe me I have met some pretty 'trashy' white people that would never stand a chance at turning my head. Why black men, why are you attracted to blonde hair and blue eyes? Maybe it's as simple as these are the people that turn our heads and make our heart skip a beat...............do you have any control over that? No you don't, nobody does. It's basic individual chemistry, try fighting that!
We need to get over this nonsense and let people live their own lives.
If you can find a tiny bit of happiness in this twisted world GO FOR IT!!!
Who cares if that person is purple with pink poka dots.
GROW UP FOLKS!!!!! Life is too darn short for such nonsense. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:26:35 PM |
I must apologize, but this is one instance that I felt racism was a good thing. My roommate and I would go out to clubs and all the ugly, fat white women would be up his shit because he was black which left me free to mingle with the more attractive specimens of the species.
Of course his opinion on the matter would be in complete contradiction to my own.
Yea. It makes me wonder why so many of the hot white females don't mess with black men as much. Ok occasionally you'll see a hot one dating a black man, but I think it's fvcked up if some of them think they are "too good" to date black guys because well that's mostly who I hang out with so I don't get that.
Maybe they are scared of other white guys that are going to hate on them for being with someone black, as if it's a big deal. lol. How lame. | |
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mika k
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Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 97 | |
| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:32:27 PM | | Anyone is free to date whoever they choose . If a person is not attracted to bigger people so what . If tyra banks does not want to date outside her race then that's her business. Personally i don't date outside my race ,but i see nothing wrong with it .It's just not for me . | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:28:04 PM | | to I like fishing: I am a 200+ white woman who has no trouble getting dates from men of all races and its not because Im easy or Im someone that can only get black men because white men dont want me,lol,,,get a grip! What is it about yourself that makes you so appealing that you can justify your statement? Looks are fading ,your inside will never fade. | |
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| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/30/2007 6:30:56 AM | It never ceases to amaze me how the people in here seem to BELEIVE they have the final word on wht is "HOT" and what is NOT!
WHO DIED AND LEFT YOU GOD???????????????????
What I might find hot.............you may not!
SO when you call some girls/guys UGLY or unattractive..........please keep in mind........that opinion is the ONE from your eyes and mind..........................don't make everyone else measure by your yard stick! Really immature behavior. Why do we need to be the "mouth" for the world? Just speak for YOURSELF thank you!
I totally agree with the guy who said basically........."if all of your friends are doing such and such it stands to reason WHY they are your friends......." DUH......birds of a feather.....
Date who you want.................I do have a question for people who won't date ALLLLL black men and then say it's because they aren't attracted?? The reason I find this odd is because black men are sooooooooo diverse.........from sandy hair to blue black skin........from chinese features, mexican look, european noses..........I MEAN REALLY.......blue eyed black men and black eyed brown men................DIVERSE like nothing else......................so what is it exactly that has you unattracted since they don't all "ACT" the same either...........again, so why is it that they aren't attractive? Have you pre judged all black men already? How can you know if you'll be attracted since you haven't MET all of them and they are so vast in behavior and looks.........I'm just interested. Not trying to get you to get anyone to date black men.......they are doing fine getting what they what............I'm just wondering if you have done some inside searching for insight into this? NO judgement here, I could give a fat rats azzzz who dates who, it holds NO EFFECT ON ME WHATSOEVER!
And for those who claim white men can't move in bed or have saggy asses................WOW HONEY.............you have just picked the WRONG MEN for you............(I could tell you stories about white men who can rock your socks off, but I"m a lady) HA!
Men in general are a beautiful,fabulous thing...............why do we need to "HATE" one in order to "LOVE" the other.............???
That isn't neccessary................and bears closer inspection into WHY you feel this way.........not for ME to understand........but I bet it would be enlightening if YOU understood the truth of why you are appauled my one group and not the other.......especially when it's your own people you hate to date.............just a looksee for growth is all I'm suggesting................
Peace and wholeness,
Diva | |
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wafta
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Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 100 | |
| Desperate Black Men
Posted: 7/30/2007 6:57:23 AM | Diva - I really don't think its a case of hating one type and loving another, more that we choose who we find we're more compatible with.
In my case, I find I have more in common with black men, as both friends and lovers. Why? I'm not entirely sure, its just the way I am I guess !!
As for the desperation issue, I have many black male friends that I've never slept with, so I guess they're not ALL that desperate.
We all have different tastes, its a shame we can't just accept that and all get along and be happy.
And I apologise if I offended anyone with the "saggy ass and inability to move in bed" comment, but that's just my opinion based on my own experiences. So, I like a nice firm tight butt? Just can't help myself !! | |
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