| How would you feel??...
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:12:12 PM | You could look at it any of 100 ways. People get tempted but in the end they can cheat anywhere, including you own house.
If you DO trust your mate you still may feel a little jealous or insecure but just be mature about it and look past it unless you get a reason to feel otherwise. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:15:44 PM | | Well if I'm in a relationship where I'm married to him or living with him, I obviously trust him. I wouldn't be with anyone I didn't trust. So No, I'd not be jealous!!! | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:40:59 PM | What are you saying? So if she's not so hot it's ok because no man will want her? If she's hot she's not to be trusted because all men want to bang a hot woman? Hot women aren't faithful? Plain ones are?
I got news for you darlin...Most men wanna bang almost anything..
What matters here is do you trust your partner enough to not be jealous if they have friends of the opposite sex.. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 1/7/2006 1:08:36 PM | | Clearly the only sane answer here is to wrap her tightly in a burka exposing only her eyes, never let her leave the house, and if she even so much as talks to a man other than you have her stoned in the public square for being such a whore. Now there's a solid religion for you. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 1/7/2006 1:11:11 PM | depending of the friend, if is a life long friend; probably not
everybody else; it is a no, no | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 1/7/2006 5:02:34 PM | | I don't think I will be comfortable with that.....I think I would be more leery of it, rather than angry or jealous. I would question it for sure! | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:44:43 PM | how would i feel.....let me put it to you this way.....i would sacrifice my happiness if she was really attracted to the guy,because i always put another person's needs first(hence why i am still single).....just to see her happy would be worth and besides i don't feel like i deserve true happiness myself when i could make other people happy.....hey that is how i truly feel | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:48:24 PM | | Hmm,,,well i know me and how i am, so if it was a female i wasnt familiar with,,,id be a lil put off by not being informed beforehand, but if she were his friend from way back and i knew about her,,,then thats ok. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:01:42 PM | | That is one of those, ``it depends'' questions. Does he ONLY come over when you aren't there? (especially if that is when you are going to be absent for a good while.) Do you know the person or does she keep you from meeting him? If anything she does with respect to him depends on whether you're around, then you ought to wonder what's up. In other words, she ought to welcome the opportunity for her friends to be your friends so you can be comfortable about them visiting anytime. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:20:52 PM | | All this 'trust' bullshit ticks me off. What if they were naked in bed and she said: "We hit the gym and took a shower, now we are just drying. Nothing happened, don't you trust me?" How about there are certain things you don't do in a relationship (like seeing members of the opposite sex for a long time when you are not around)? Why put yourself out in the gray area of temptation? My best friend quit his wing man job when he got married, because he said it's not right to go to single places with me. He would not do a thing, but he does not want his wife to even have these thoughts... | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:43:44 PM | Nothing in life is black and white. How is the relationship? IS there trust? Is this a long time friend? Is this an ex? Is this someone of mutual lust....
Partnership does NOT imply sexual ownership.
All I ever ask from a man is honesty. If he's telling me that he's lusting after a woman and she and I BOTH know about each other, then he can take a time out from me, or something can be worked out within the frame of "open but honest". So, jealous? No. If he hid her visit, and he lied to me about anything to do with the visit, I'd just have to say one thing. "OUT." | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:16:06 PM | What the hell is wrong with you people?
So, if you are living with someone you are supposed to give up your friends or never be alone with them? Are that many people that insecure? I'm shocked.
If someone is going to cheat.. they can do it with EITHER gender...and it wouldn't matter if they had them over to the house or not. Expecting your PARTNER to not have friends because your have a monogamous commitment is stupid, self-centered, insecure and JUVENILE....and guaranteed to make them feel stifled, which could drive them away.
No wonder so many relationships fail.. there is a serious lack of understanding as to what a relationship really is.. hint, it's two people bringing their (separate and unique) lives together, not throwing away who they are and who they know to create some little fantasy bubble.
If I'm with someone, I'm with them...and it wouldn't matter if Brad Pitt was at the house. It doesn't matter that a man MIGHT want to get into my pants, because I'm an adult and I make my own choices about my behavior. I have male friends who have NEVER crossed the line with me, not when I'm in a relationship and not when I'm single..we are FRIENDS.
And I'd NEVER treat my partner like that... good grief. If I can't trust him, then we don't belong together, that isn't love -it's possession. Might as well just piss on her and get it over with. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:16:22 PM | It wouldn't bother me at all unless I was the type of person that wanted no friends of either gender at my house.
Wolf, that is an interesting scenario but because I have friends that are male and it would not occur to me to be worried about being in my home with them alone because I am not 12 and actually know when I am in a relationship, it would be odd for me to think to not have someone come to my house just because my SO didn't happen to be there at the time. I would also suspect that if my SO was worried about it, he could probably figure out that the three kids would be adequate chaperones.
So if you showed up a little early to meet your friend at his house and he wasn't home yet, or you showed up exactly on time and he was caught in traffic, would you feel obligated to leave so that no one might have thoughts or would you behave like a normal person and accept a glass of iced tea and talk to his wife while you waited for him to show up?
Looking at some of the other posts, if it was someone that my SO had not met because it was a new friendship developed through work or something, I probably wouldn't have anyone male or female to my house before they had met my SO because when you move to that level of doing something outside the job, you generally do something with your SO and the other person and/or couple. You either trust someone or you don't, and while many people do cheat on their SOs in their own home, I think cheating is more likely off-premises. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:44:53 PM | The difference is that I would be there to meet him, not her. I am not her friend, she is my friend's wife. If he is five minutes late, I would wait, but if he is an hour late, I would do something else and return later. I could run errands, have luch/dinner first, it depends.
There is a difference between trust and temptation. Trust is what you put in the other person, temptation is what the other person exposes herself to. You can play the trust/immature/insecure card all day long - I am the bad guy for thinking this way, but when it turns out that something HAS happened, it is too late. Most affairs would not happen, if the SOs were not putting themselves out there. The line between trusting and being gullible is thin. If a woman insists on a lot of private time with male friends, she can have it - 100% of her time. Yes, she may cheat regardless, but that does not mean you have to roll out the red carpet all the way to the bedroom for them.
The whole concept of 'male friends' (unless they are gay) is a female myth that they believe in. Harry Met Sally anyone? Right on. If he likes hanging out with you, he would have sex with you. Drop your pants and try to seduce him, and see how much resistance you encounter, especially if it is YOUR friend and not HIS...
One last remark: How would the ladies feel, if he insisted on some private time with this hottie friend of his? Or an ex that he now gets along with? Does equality end here? | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:30:44 AM |
All this 'trust' bullshit ticks me off. What if they were naked in bed and she said: "We hit the gym and took a shower, now we are just drying. Nothing happened, don't you trust me?" How about there are certain things you don't do in a relationship (like seeing members of the opposite sex for a long time when you are not around)? Why put yourself out in the gray area of temptation? My best friend quit his wing man job when he got married, because he said it's not right to go to single places with me. He would not do a thing, but he does not want his wife to even have these thoughts...
that's right!
I think there is a another issue here and it's called respect.I've had male best friends and just good friends even,and I would never spend time alone like that just out of respect for my man,and damn sure wouldn't put up with it from my man.trust is a must in a good relationship,but why even give a reason to be jealous or hurt in the first place?
friends of the opposite sex should visit when your mate is home only. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:36:33 AM |
The whole concept of 'male friends' (unless they are gay) is a female myth that they believe in. Harry Met Sally anyone? Right on. If he likes hanging out with you, he would have sex with you. Drop your pants and try to seduce him, and see how much resistance you encounter, especially if it is YOUR friend and not HIS...
One last remark: How would the ladies feel, if he insisted on some private time with this hottie friend of his? Or an ex that he now gets along with? Does equality end here?
I've always gotten along better with men, but I will say no matter how long we were friends or how close we were,every one of them at least once joked about doing the nasty or at least hinted for more that a friendship.
if people care enough to be good friends,the relationship potential is usually there unless there is zero physical attraction. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:13:33 AM | What if my woman had a male friend over at our place while I was away?
I'm fine with that. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:54:31 AM | | For me it would depend who she was. They may be long term friends. If I didnt trust him or her then there would be an issue. I would wonder why he wanted her there when I was out! | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:05:22 AM | | I feel it's disrespectful and it's happened to me. The woman I was dating had her ex over while I was at work...not cool. There has to be some level of trust but I guess it would depend on who the person was. Still...it's just disrespectful. | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:07:57 AM | I would not feel anything.....
Any partner of mine can have male or female friends as i ca have male or female friends...........
One word here....TRUST.........without it you dont have anything.... | |
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| How would you feel??...
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:56:32 PM |
I would not feel anything.....
Any partner of mine can have male or female friends as i ca have male or female friends...........
One word here....TRUST.........without it you dont have anything....
I don't think the op asked about having friends,but about being alone at home with them.....
I think friends of the other gender are great,but I feel it's dangerous to hang out at home alone together.sometimes we need to make a decision on who's more important. | |
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