| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 10:08:59 AM | i agree with all the people who said no. and the guy who said its the lowest thing u could do to someone - unless u are like that, if u are a person that is weak enought to cheat that relationship is worthless.
because people that cheat, cheat with their mind and their heart first maybe even before they get into that situation- its like they are dating once they have made a commitment to someone - hell sleeping around is wrong anyways. i think this all stems from people in their early dating life and the stages of dating and getting serious ratio, mixed with the number of people u date. think it sets the wrong mind frame - thats why generally in history people are very conservative. u can quote me on that ? 
if someone cheats then they need out of that relationship most people with any dignity would break up first - tell the other person that its over
Enough of that time for me to move on anyone want to chat or have coffee email me. my picture will be up soon or i can exchange it with u. only honest caring easygoing women 18-32+ please
Take care all ! God bless and hope you find that person !! | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 10:33:21 AM | boredcountryboy, we are all dreamers for having an ideal of what love is. If yours is being a doormat, good luck.
You will let her scratch her nails down my back because you love her?
Forgiveness is a powerful gift, but the woman who would aspire to cheating on you obviously is not threatened by the idea of losing you.
Integrity is a condition that you perpetuate in the relationship. No one will value or respect you as precious if you are too easily kept. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 10:52:55 AM | absolutely not... i think it often gets blown out of what it is. a one night stand is totally different than an affair. sex does not always involve emotions of any kind. believe me i'm no doormat but i'm also not going to toss away a real relationship because my girl got drunk and horny or something stupid like that.
like i said i'm 100% faithful to my partner when i'm in a relationship... i ask the same of her. its just not my choice to make and i'll never just drop her over one night of sex... sheeesh... i just dont see a one night stand as cheating... a very poor decision yes but not cheating. i suppose you'd just drop your mother out of your life if she were to divorce or become widowed then remarried with step kids?? you love her yet she's "sharing" a sacred comitment she had with you......
anyways, like i said i have a little bit different view on this subject and with out writing a novel i cant explain it so good luck..... love's hard to find, people say they'd do anything for it yet it's tossed away at the first sign of trouble. in my opinion the one who just gives up and cops out with "the trust is gone" is committing a far greater betrayal of the love/relationship. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 11:05:33 AM | | Most likely if somebody cheats on you it involves you and it is an big indication that you have probably done something for the other to cheat, the other was not honest with their feelings and went out with somebody else and a way of getting back or trying to relieve the problem. So when someone cheats on you, look at yourself what did you do to cause this, don't put all the blame on the person you are supposed to love.. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 11:07:30 AM | | I would definetly forgive/have...but would I stay with the person? As of right now, I'd say no, because it still hurts to think about before...but every situation is different/every relationship is different. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 11:33:38 AM | It all depends. I have forgiven a girlfriend for that before, but I've also broken up with them.
I base my judgements on:
- Maturity
- Time in the relationship
- Time passed since the cheating
- Alcohol?
- Gut feelings
Lot's of things. I take it all into account and come to a conclusion. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 11:44:59 AM | I probably would. Where I'm from, and the age group I'm in (25-35), there is no doubt that these things happen more often than I imagined. I used to be super faithfull and truly romantic, but most of my gf ended up jumping the fence for a quick peak at the menu next door. In the end, it pissed me off, but then seeing these girls come back and try to patch it up, it's really um... empowering. It's one of those things that makes you stop and wonder just what it means to love and be in love. I loved them all so much I forgave them, and later on time decided we had to go our seperate ways anyhow. In reverse, I betrayed a gf once, and she never forgave me. To this day, I wish I hadn't acted so stupid cuz she was the girl for me. I personnaly will never do this kind of thing ever again. As for forgiving, well, since I can't control the girl, I can't forbid her to do her own thing, it'll depend on the cirmcomstances. But I sure do enjoy seeing a girl wimping her way back. My concern is protective sex: my biggest phobia with all of it is getting a stupid disease from a gf's lover.
That's my 2.329 cents (stupid taxes)
Eggman76 | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 11:51:41 AM | | Try to bring out the real reason why the other person cheated, most likely it may have to do with themselves and perhaps you may have done something to provoke that feeling, but you are most likely not directly responsible, people seem to do things in accordance with themselves how they see things, if that can be worked out it should be easier to forgive them, if that's part of who they really well that's beautiful, if you really love them for them not what you expect them to be, them you will accept that totally and truthfully, if you don't really love them unconditionally then break it off. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 12:05:19 PM | If she could put herself in a tempting situation, whilest in a relationship with you, it's not a real relationship!
You can be 100% loyal all you like, but that does not make her a better person for your being tolerant. Harbouring any deviant makes you an accessory to that behaviour. She will not learn if there is no foreseeable consequence.
It's not about what love can endure! You and your partner are supposed to protect it because it is sacred. It is a divine and emotional connection. Any woman that tells you she was too drunk is full of sh*t. Alcohol is a depressant that intensifies your emotions, not erases them for however long it took her to orgasm. When she laid down with another man, you were in her mind. Alcohol does not create stupidity or amnesia. Why couldn't she be drunk and horny for you? Was it inconvenient? If that were indeed the case, then upon what principal is your relationship founded? Convenience? You need love and she needs a place to shower?
You know as well as I that it takes TWO people to love. There is no honor in deception.
If she cheated on you and other guys, there is something wrong with her.
If she only cheated on you, she doesn't respect you, nor will her transgressions refine into some moment of clarity where she realizes that she suddenly does respect you.
It is plain as day to me that you are a great guy and I admire your integrity as well as your belief in the greater good, the bigger picture that love will conquer all. I believe love can conquer a lot of things, but man, that is just some bad juju you are talking about. How can you possibly feel like an equal when you pass the guy that had her a** last weekend? He knows you are a mark. She knows she pulled it off. They share a glance and you keep pushing the shopping cart.
Funny you should mention my mother. She lost a ton of weight by exercising and men at the casino took notice of her. Particularly various musical performers. That whore cheated on my father with three of those men. She could not do the honorable thing and file for a divorce. She used his paychecks to pay rent for one of her boyfriends and buy musical equipment for another. Hotels, food, gas, lingerie was all on the credit card statements, which he happened to unthinkingly pickup and glance at one day, when he was at home from work. I am not sure if you could fathom the humility of an aging man losing 22 years of trust. He worshipped the ground she walked upon and rescued her after my biological father pushed her down the stairs while she was pregnant with me. He loved her despite her faults and her weight. In my mothers own words, she called him a "."
I don't want that to be your fate. Here's your novel.  | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 12:20:47 PM | I think the part that hurts is the part of me that gave everything and was betrayed...I try not to think about it too much, because what is really the point?
I've forgiven him, but I won't ever trust him again. It pretty much ended our marriage. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 2:59:15 PM | | I would but much depends on the circumstances.If our relationship was falling apart,I would probably view it as a symptom of a relationship going south anyway.If it was something else entirely,then I would still forgive her,but it would change my status a bit.I would no longer be willing to do the rules thing if she were the one to violate it.We would do the open relationship bit.Now if she was doing another woman,that would be fine by me,as long as I was present. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/10/2005 3:00:24 PM | I think the part that hurts is the part of me that gave everything and was betrayed...I try not to think about it too much, because what is really the point?
The actual act of sex with someone else would not be what would bother me.It would be the deceptive aspect of the "cheating". | |
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Roaul
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Joined: 4/14/2004
Msg: 44 | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/12/2005 11:48:58 PM | You don't empty the bank vault of your soul to someone who isn't going to be deeply moved by this generosity. It shows the most contemptable disregard when one partner cheats on the other after accepting and reciprocating the gesture of love.
Yes, sex can be performed without love... but why? Humans have transcended animal instincts. People who seperate sex from love have a deeper underlying psychological dilema, where they need to use nonobligatory sex as a personal weapon for control and validation issues. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/13/2005 7:13:00 AM | | Been there......done that. Once they do step out on the realtionship....and you forgive them....the door is open for them to do it again. I am not a doormat....so...If you walk out that door to crawl in the bed with someone else........I say.....don't let it hit ya in the toosh. | |
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| would u forgive ur bf/gf for a one-night-stand???
Posted: 1/14/2005 3:54:52 AM | This is not something I would consider for Course of Action prior to Occurance.
Its too easy to make a Resolution in the Absense of the Circumstances at Hand.
We may say one thing now, and based on the extant Situation, something else at another Time.
Potentially, too many Factors are involved. Better yet, work on putting all the Pieces into Play so it will never occur. | |
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