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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Registered Sex Offender?!?      Home login  
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 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 76
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Registered Sex Offender?!?Page 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
my friends and i got into nightclubs when we were that age, yes maybe girls should have to have id cards but then i guess they would use fake ones. the only way u are going to find out the truth is to go and read the paperwork yourself not just phone them
 krunge
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 77
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:57:12 PM
MOGRL is so right, a girl can make herself look older, many years ago I had a relationship with a girl I meet in a night club, she was 5'10" tall and eighd at least 150 pounds and a decent C cup if an inch, I went out with her every night for a month, was going great till she told me she was on holidays from New Zealand and was her intention to screw a different guy every day she was away, I ruined her average, and dumped her when I found out I meet her on the 14th day, she was 14 and looked 20/23 if she looked a day, and yes the sex was fantastic. This did not make me a sexual preditor (I was one before I meet her) I wanted sex and from anyone anywhere, age made no difference, I was a tour bus driver in Europe, there was a smorgosboard of females on every trip for the taking, yes life was good. I just came back from a 2 week business trip of a european country and had a 17 yr intrepreter, slept in the same room, never touched her, because there was not the feeling that indicates its available
 longte
Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 78
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 6:41:09 AM
Do the checks as suggested

Then you will all the available information

To make a decision like this without every available bit if info, would not be a good idea

In saying that, I hope it all works out well for you, no matter which way you decide
..
.
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 79
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:02:06 AM

I can't believe I'm reading some of this. Some of you guys posts are from a 23 year old and another from a 33 year old. Actually saying you would have a hard time Distinguishing a child from a adult!!!!!!

14 is not 18 There is a huge huge difference and 18 is barely even pushing the realm of being a adult. 14 is barely pushing being able to take care of oneself without parent supervision.

And even if a 14 year old did look like a adult. How long does it take to clue that she's not 18, because of the way she acts. Please no one say it was convincing acting lol.


i agree 100% or 110% maybe. maybe the braces and the n'sync shirt didn't clue them in
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 80
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:18:21 AM
I went to the courthouse yesterday and looked at his file and everything was as he said it was. I snuck, when the clerks weren't looking, and opened all the envelopes that said "only to be opened by a judge". It described the incident exactly as he described it. The mother had found out by reading her daughter's journal. The bouncer at the bar had signed an agreement with the bar not to testify in order to keep the bar from being sued, so he pled the fifth. Due to a law in place at the time called the "rape shield" law, her character and actions couldn't be questioned by the defense attorney unless the prosecuting attorney brought the subject up first (which he very wisely didn't bring that subject up). When he was arrested, he admitted to taking her to his house with the intent to have sex with her and then taking her home when he discovered her age but since she never testified (she had a decent attorney; his was court appointed) and the bouncer pleaded the fifth, they had a hard time convincing a jury that she had purposely led him to believe that she was of age. All the motions to repress etc were in his file, along with transcripts.

But it doesn't matter now. Even though I never believed him capable of hurting a child or anything like that, his past would taint any kind of future that we could have had together. I feel bad but I am just not ready to settle for a man (albeit, a very great and loving man) who has such a huge thing in his past and quite a chip on his shoulder. So we broke up.



Edit: The prison sentence at that time for "indecent liberties with a minor" were minimum 2 years to maximum 10 years. He served 21 months - less than the required two years.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 81
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:30:18 AM
well just keep in mind that the decision you made is the best for you..

on another note.. gosh you guys have easy going court houses.. in connecticut you have to go through a detector, just to get through the front door.. then when you get to the records department you have to show id.. sigh a form requesting the document then the clerk stand right there when your looking through the file.. and all this just to get a copy of my divorce decree....
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 82
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:33:18 AM
Welcome to rural North Carolina!

I even made copies of his psychological evaluation!

Furthermore, I can tell you the name and address of the minor involved in the case...?

They were paying no attention to what I was doing.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 83
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:39:33 AM
wow.. thats scary.. I hate going to court here.. but it makes you think.. anyone can just walk in and get your info..what if your being stalked.. thats scary..

and newintown.. I didn't point that out to pick on you.. I'm seriously amazed that you could just walk in.. heck here your lucky if they don't make you pee in a cup.. lol..
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 84
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:45:14 AM
I was very surprised myself. I couldn't believe that they had included that info in his files at all - it was in a regular envelope that simply said "only for a judge to open". If it was private, why would they put it in a PUBLIC record? I walked in and told them what I needed and the little clerk walked right back there (indicating that I should come around the counter as well) and pulled out his file and handed it to me and said "there are chairs right over there". Even the copies were free.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 85
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:48:42 AM
FREE!! good god.. here you have to pay $20 for each document you get a copy of..

I soooo need to move to a cheaper state.

either way i'm glad you got out of this relationship..even if he was "innocent" you'd still have a hard road to travel.
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 86
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:53:29 AM
Yeah, that's exactly how I felt about it. But I am going to miss breakfast in bed and the big bear hugs that just felt so right.

I think this lil fishy is going to crawl into a hole for awhile.
 Linguatic
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 87
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:18:43 AM
So the bouncer and the little slut were willing to let a guy go to jail for up to 10 years, rather than tell the truth. The bouncer might have lost his job, but what would the girl have lost? Some people are real gems.
 path2possibility
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 88
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:19:13 AM
OMG I've been in your situation and I caution you strongly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am also 22 and my ex...and daughters father.... is also on the registry(here in Canada). He told me about his record within two weeks of us dating and made it all look like it was an innocent mistake. I believed him and stayed with him and now we have a child together.

Wile I was in labour though he took off on me with some other girl. After he left CAS got involved because of his record. I found out that he lied to me about the ages of the kids involved, about his age at the time, the charges involved and the length of time that the occurances happened.

I now know that the situation is much more severe than I was told.

Often people will come forward with some information about their past so that we feel there's no reason to explore it further. Just because he told you doesn't mean he told you everything, or the full extent. I'm not sure how it works where you are but here in Ontario offenders are required to do a psycological report before they are released detailing what happened and the likely hood of them re-offending. If that is done where you are then I encourage you to get the full report and then decide if you still want contact with him.

Feel free to e-mail me (sassy.single.and22@hotmail.com) and I'll help you as best as I can.
 heather2005
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 89
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:55:12 AM
so let me get this straight though he was a great guy, you got along great you went read his files and everything he said was true? but you couldn't handle the pressure and move on? that is truly sad. i mean i just don't get it if he was such a fantastic guy who really gives a sh.it what other people think of you, the only thing that matters is yourself.
 palegreenstars
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 90
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:02:25 AM
WOW, i would not be able to live with it either. I mean...I would always think something. I commend you for looking for the truth...I mean you have to know (although it was scary how they just up and left you with the info)
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 91
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:03:23 AM
Heather2005:

It would have tainted everything - what if we decided to have children?

Even if he was no longer registered, there would still be an "indecencies with a MINOR" charge on his record. What if our child wanted to have a sleep over or birthday party? Would it be fair to withhold that information from other parents or to deny our children of those childhood things? If someone did find out, how would you feel if the father of one of your children's friends was a former convicted sex offender? Even with a full explaination of his crime, people here are still calling for his balls to be cut off. Would I spend the rest of my life trying to convince the whole world that he is a decent guy?

I'm sorry but it sounds like a lifetime of difficulties. Maybe I'm weak but I couldn't handle it.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 92
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:09:38 AM
Newingtown.. not weak.. don't see it as that.. see it as being realistic..

good for you!
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 93
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:16:57 AM
you can invoke the fifth to prevent a lawsuit? that must be new
 kitticat
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 94
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:18:48 AM
Before you get involved with a guy who has a criminal record, you are morally entitled to get all the facts! I dated a guy who told me (after we had been several months into the relatinship) that he had been in federal prison for burglary... blah, blah, blah... was very young... in with the wrong crowd...boo hoo. OK... I said I could deal with that. Later.. I learned that he had been in federal penitentiaries twice...not once... and one of the charges was attempted murder. In all, he had spent 11 yrs in prison. I would never again trust someone with a criminal record. Did you know that for 10 bucks you can go online and check someone's criminal record? You may find out more that you suspected! I'd advise it to anyone.
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 95
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:22:18 AM
Well, I know he refused to talk during the trial and my (ex)bf had told me before that the bouncer had signed some deal with the bar stating that he would not offer any testimony that would leave them culpable and open to a lawsuit. The bouncer probably could have gotten into trouble himself, so he and the bar owners were trying to cover their as*es.
 gentle_giant
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 96
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:30:35 AM
did you all know that if you urinate in your own back yard and if someone seen you doing it or over heard you pissing in your yard. and you get arrested for it. you will go on the offenders list anyways. doesnt matter if you kissed a young girl under age or even picked her up at a place. it doesnt matter where it is or what it is you still get put on the list.


pissing in public daytime or nighttime.
showing breasting to someone in the bar and someone reports it in. you get arrested and put on the list. they are not going to take no more shit from anyone.


and for the guy who messed up and found out the girl was actually 14 and got scared. i bet you had to of went to classes for that and 2 years probation.


the girls now days that look like whores,sluts and more. its really the parents faults they let them dress like that.


this goes out to the parents nationwide. you let your kids dress looking like a slut or bait. and if something happens to your kid its your fault cause you didnt stop it.
 gentle_giant
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 97
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:37:45 AM
if you ever wanna find out about someones crimanal record online with out paying for it.....



no credit cards,no checks,no cost, completely FREE

here is the link help your self to finding anything you want.

http://www.iowacourts.state.ia.us


this will search for anyone, anywhere in the world and it will give you 110% truth.
 R-U-Here
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 98
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:46:23 AM
Wow, I will try to be nice with this one.

What kind of low mentality does it take for someone to make a statement like that? How could you possibly say it is the parent’s fault if their daughter gets raped because she is dressed a bit trampy. It is still the offenders fault, the victim or the relatives of the victim are never to blame, the person committing the crime are solely responsible. People make bad decisions at times, but they never deserve to be raped or have any other crime committed against them.

Are you on a sex offender’s list somewhere?
 CountrySugar
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 99
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:47:36 AM
Sounds a bit if'y to me..


They don't put someone away that long for something that is questionable..
 molonel
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 100
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:46:18 PM

you know everyone on here is so judgemental


Guilty as charged. Where possible pedophiles, child molesters and sexual offenders who could hurt me and mine are concerned, I am EXTREMELY judgmental.


so why not forgive someone for this mistake?? what noone on here ever made a mistake in their life? if he has moved on and is trying to put it behind him maybe he is a great guy and is trying to rebuild his life after this terrible ordeal. hindsight is 20/20 and i am sure if he could go back he would of done it all right..you know asked for id.etc. not trusted his friend the girl was with who lied..this actually happened to my ex husband when he was 18 the girl was 15 but lied and said she was 18 and his friend her cousin lied for her luckily he didn't get in trouble but some girls lie and the guy makes a mistake and trusts her--no reason to judge him the rest of his life


Most of the people who replied to her told her to make sure she got ALL of the facts. Now she has. She should have gone further, and she did. I'm glad. That was very wise.


so let me get this straight though he was a great guy, you got along great you went read his files and everything he said was true? but you couldn't handle the pressure and move on? that is truly sad. i mean i just don't get it if he was such a fantastic guy who really gives a sh.it what other people think of you, the only thing that matters is yourself.


heather2005, I think you are perhaps the most judgmental person in this entire thread. Yes, she did something for her own future good, and the good of her future family, including her children. There is nothing wrong with that. Looks like the guy may have gotten a bum deal. I'm very sorry to hear that. But she made a conscious, adult decision that the weight of that burden was too heavy for her to carry.

I can't blame her for that.
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