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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Registered Sex Offender?!?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Linguatic
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 126
Registered Sex Offender?!?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Why did he get in more trouble then a slap or probation. that I question.


Because he had a court appointed lawyer. He's lucky he didn't get the death penalty.
 wollybully1234
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 127
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/12/2006 3:52:13 PM
wow things are sure extreme elsewhere in the world.
 Linguatic
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 128
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/12/2006 4:03:50 PM
It was hyperbole, Rayne.
 handsonguy
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 129
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/12/2006 4:23:28 PM
Well here is what I would do. I assume if he was convicted of a sex offense, that he probably had to undergo court-mandated sex offender therapy/treatment, which includes counseling. Ask him about that. Ask if you can talk to his therapists (as they will have the full story due to their relationship with the probation/parole officer involved on his case). Then you can verify if he is telling the truth under the guise of wanting to be there for him. And if everything turns out like he said, the therapist will be happy I bet to give you advie on whether he is considered a risk to re-offend or not.

For his sake, I am guessing he is telling the truth for the most part (if not all) as the registration penalty would most likely have been a lifetime registration if it was anything more severe.

That said, I bet the charges might have been more severe at first and he got a plea bargain down to this, but you will need to do the due diligence to find out.

As for whether all sex offenders are going to re-offend, you need to do your research, but (I may catch grief for this) generally speaking sex offenders that have gone through a treatment program are much less likely to re-offend than many other offenses. Granted there are those exceptions to this percentage from those that are serial offenders, and the news reports would have you believe that every offender is going to repeat, but those just are not the facts.

So take it slow, but he does not deserve to be kicked to the curb just yet. Find out the truth and then kick him in the nads if he lied!

My $0.02
 wollybully1234
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 130
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:36:13 PM
Linguatic, ooooooo I must of had a brunette moment lol
 Garofalo7
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 131
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:48:13 PM

tell me how a 23 yr old doesn't know the difference between a 14 yr old and a bird of 18/19 yes some ppl look older than their age but come on the way she presented herself and things she spoke about or way she said things would have given a big indication. I'm also finding it hard to believe that if he was so oblivious to everything I'm sorry but unless I was drunk as a skunk and up for casual sex after a night out I think I would ask sum1 how old they were like that's one of the first questions u ask sum1 anyhow. How old are u what do u do for money, fun, hobbies etc. If he asked her her age just b4 sex then y couldn't he ask her age b4 doing anything else with her.


I was just throwing it out there.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 132
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/12/2006 6:54:04 PM
OMG!!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE HOW SOME PEOPLE CAN BE SO COLD HEARTED AND HATEFULL AND AN REAL ASS... I JUST WISH FOR ONCE EVERYBODY HAD A DAY WHERE THEY, HAD TO LIVE SOMEBODY ELSE'S PAST AND WALK IN THERE SHOE'S THAN MAYBE YALL WOULD REALIZE HPW HARD IT IS FOR THAT OTHER PERSON YALL ARE ALWAYS BAD MOUTHING AND LOOKING DOWN ON.......... WE SHOULD ALL THINK ABOUT WHAT WE SAY TO SOMEBODY ELSE OR HOW IT MIGHT HURT THEM BEFORE WE SAY ANYTHING WRONG OR BAD ABOUT THE PERSON. HOW WOULD YALL FEEL IF IT WAS ON THE OTHER FOOT AND IT WAS YOU'R SON OR YOUR BROTHER OR SOMEBODY IN YOU'R FAMILY, WHO HAS HIS RECORD (BUT HAS DONE HIS TIME) WHAT WOULD YALL/WE DO IF SOMEBODY WAS BEING THIS WAY TOWARD'S THE GUY (IF HE WAS OUR FAMILY MEMEMBER THRU BLOOD?????????). THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAKE PEOPLE.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 133
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/28/2006 12:21:00 AM
I just wanted to say something. to the fact on "LOVE!" NOBODY can MAKE you love him/her either YOU love him/her or YOU don't it's you'r choice, everybody has the right to choose or NOT to choose to love him/her and everybody has the choice of either being with him/her.



 ron385
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 134
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/28/2006 11:32:33 PM
All I can tell ya is when I lived in Florida, I came across a nice looking woman? But as we talked I noticed she lacked something during conversing. So I asked how old she was and she told me 14. I couldn't believe it! From sight alone you would think she was 25. I got away from her quickly. Didn't stop this other guy from picking her up tho' Ya gotta be careful now days, everything that's in the food and water and a little make-up goes a long way to throw your gift of sight off.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 135
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/29/2006 3:36:29 AM
I have a question..



Why do we even have an "topic" about sex offender?... i don't know but to me this is a useless topic, especialy to have on the internet.


When you know how the system work's if there is an sex offender in you'r area or liveing in you'r area, you would get a card on them. So it's not like the damn law(pigs) system doesn't protect us/kid's from those type's of people.






What else will they come up with next?.
 sweetpea673
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/29/2006 4:13:20 AM
I wonder how many people would feel this is a useless topic if it were their child that had been molested, or if the sex offender was living next door to them. We all make mistakes in life, this is true. However, there are consequences to pay for those mistakes and some mistakes will follow you around for a lifetime.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 137
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/29/2006 4:21:36 AM
I agree with you "sweetpea" 100% but i wasn't trying to come off as a "wich" i was just wondering, i've always been the type of person who thought of bad thing's like whats going on now esp this topic. What im trying say is i always thought. What if it was our family going through that, and we was related to that man/woman who was/might be an sex offender how would we feel if what happend, for them to be clasified as a "sex offender" was NOT what everybody think's it was.


I just think everybody deserve's a second chance especialy the way this world is, turning out to be sometime's i wonder how come so many people think so bad/wrong about other's before we acturly get the chance to know them. But that's just my two cents and everybody has the right to think/say/do what they please.




There's just way to much hate/hurt in this world today, and i guess with it being 06 and 07 comming down the road it's going to get worse.



But i am sorry if i have offended anybody/parent (as i will be soon, i am pregnant) on this site i am srry if what i have posted got under yall's skin.



God Bless all!
 sweetpea673
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/29/2006 4:42:06 AM
No offense taken at all Broken.....it's just if someone is a convicted sex offender, well there are certain things that could involve. All you have to do is look up on the internet to see what charges can be construed as such. I think it should be information that is available to the public, so that we may protect our children and not put them at a risk for such a thing. It also prevents the 'offender' from being put in a situation that they could either be tempted, if they have not been reformed, and still have those thoughts about doing such things again..or at the very least, it would violate their probation to be around kids, hence any suspended time could be handed down to be served for probation violation. As to what if this was a member of my family that I loved. I think I would still feel the same way. I don't believe it would make a difference. I still would not want my kids around them, and I would want people in their neighborhood to know as well, to protect their children. It's a shame that there are some people that have made such a mistake in their past. It will follow them for their entire life and it will hamper them in many ways, just as the OP stated. I think it's just something that we all have an opinion on, and we know what opinions are like.....yup....everybody's got one of those too.....
 Ninki
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 139
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/29/2006 4:54:13 AM
dacainaru, I too was molested by a familty friend from age 6 to age 11. So I know what it's like. It stays with you the rest of your life. Let's say that the OP's boyfriend told the truth. In that case, I don't think she should dump him; that girl wanted to get him into trouble. I have a 14-year-old daughter and if she gets dressed up and puts on make-up, she can look 18. So can her friends. There's no way to tell whether someone is 14 or 18, from what I've seen. To me a man who's attracted to young teens, who are fully developed, is not a pedophile, but a normal man. It's just the insane laws in this coutry that turn something normal into somthing sick. My aunt was 16 when she met my uncle who was 24. They got married three years later, in 1939, and are still married to this day. Today a 24-year-old going with a 16-year-old would be scorned. Why? This is crazy. So, again, IF this guy's story is true, then do give him another chance. He doesn't deserve to suffer for this his whole life.


Ninki
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 140
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:08:59 AM
Yeah i have this friend/boyfriend who was molested by one of his mom's friend when he was younger (hes 26 now) and he got molested by one of his mom's friend wich was an older woman and it can have some, bad rough effect's on men just as bad as it does on women.

It's a real shame that most people take advanage of kid's in their teens-late 20's because you hear all the time how men rape little boy's and and how men rape little girl's and it's a real shame, when that happend's especialy to somebody you love and care about.

But you know there are some of us out here today that do not believe in doing those thing's and know how wrong it is to hurt a kid/teen and the THOUGHT never reaches our mind's because we, know what is the RIGHT thing to do and what is the WRONG thing to do.
 Uncool_negated
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 141
Registered Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:44:42 AM
Okay here are a couple things. If he met the 14 year old in the bar then he had reason to believe that she was an and the bar staff didn't do their job properly (asking for ID????). Do you think that this makes a difference?

I don't know if it makes a difference legally but you aren't an officer of the law so you can make a personal decision. My opinion would be that if he thought she was an he isn't a pervert really: sure the judge didn't care but you can think for yourself. In my opinion I think he could be fine and it is only that this was a misunderstanding. I would say that the bouncers and management of the bar where he met the 14 year old have complicity in this crime, but it is a message to anyone who is attracted to the younger s and who uses the bar scene. Better be careful: if a 14 or 15 year old, who looks mature, gets into the bar you could be doing prison time.

It's hard to do but I think if you are ever in doubt that you should get government photo ID. I was interested in meeting a woman off of the net for a date once and she was good looking but she had a young look to her. She was also sort of...let's say...naive. She claimed to be 19 but my brother said she could be 15 with a really developed body. Just because we met at a site that was meant for s didn't mean that she was actually an : anyone misrepresent themselves online. Instead of not meeting her though I devised a plan and it worked. I asked her if she wanted to go to West Edmonton Mall to meet and she agreed. Then I said I wanted to walk to around the Casino. She was up for it and of course she got ID-ed upon entrance and was admitted. After that I knew that everything was fine.

I would say that your boyfriend wasn't paranoid enough. But if you think about it...was my own plan fool-proof?

I dated the for a couple weeks and then she dumped me and yes she was an and I saw her high school grad photos.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 142
Registered Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:54:27 AM
I agree i do not think she should have ended it with the guy just because of an small mistake and if it happend before him and her gotten togeather than why should it matter, if he was an Registered Offender if he explained the reason why he became one and if he took the young girl back to her place and NOTHING happend between the two.

Then i think it should be left alone because if you read this thread and not just bits and peice's of the thread and really take time to understand it better than you can honestly see that it was, just an small mistake and can be easily forgivein/forgotten.


Just my two cents
 Angel Eyes_Sassy Mouth
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 143
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 4:13:21 AM
I QUOTE..."I WENT TO THE COURTHOUSE YESTERDAY AND LOOKED AT HIS FILE AND EVERYTHING WAS AS HE SAID IT WAS. I SNUCK , WHEN THE CLERKS WEREN'T LOOKING AND OPENED ALL THE ENVELOPES THAT SAID"ONLY TO BE OPENED BY A JUDGE"......So you want us to believe that you went to a courthouse and entered the clerks office...how you did this is beyond me. Then you want us to believe you just went through the filing cabinets where thousands and hundreds of files are kept. All while no one was looking. Then you want us to believe you just stood there...you know...while no one was looking...and opened all these envelopes and read them? .I personally do not believe you just walked into a courthouse and was allowed access to any information like that..... sounds like your making stories up to defend him. IF that's the case why even bother asking advice? Sounds like you already made your mind up and are just looking for someone to say they agree with you too. I have to agree that i cant believe he didnt know this girl was underage....why else would he have asked how old she was to begin with.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 144
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 5:10:16 AM

WHAT WOULD YALL/WE DO IF SOMEBODY WAS BEING THIS WAY TOWARD'S THE GUY (IF HE WAS OUR FAMILY MEMEMBER THRU BLOOD?????????).


True blood is what molested/raped me and 15 women in my family..

True blood is what caused everyone to stand up for the Perp instead of defending the children..

True blood counts for nothing..
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 145
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 5:26:04 AM
dacainaru

i am sorry that happend to you and 15 other women in you'r family and it is true that none of us know's what we would acturly do if it was us instead of the other people in that situration but speaking on my half, i love my brother to much he's been there for me like a dad because my dad always worked day/night.

and i could never turn my back on my brother just like he has never turned his on mine if it wasnt for him and his wife i do not know if i would have gotten through any situration i have faced because when i was growing, up most of my family was in their own "little world" and always busy.
 Jesiebunnies
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 146
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 8:36:05 AM
Sex offenders behavior can be REDUCED by treatment but the general consensous in the psych field is that sex offenders can never be completely cured. Studies have shown that the longer a person is out of prison and away from therapy the more likely he will reoffend. The pathology of a sex offender goes way deeper than just treating a drug addict.

I know you don't want to hear this anymore but I really feel like there is more to this story than him just having sex with a teenager. More than likely the prosecutor felt there was enough convicting evidence to take him to court otherwise if it was just some case of teenage sex they would have dropped the case. Some where along the lines and more than likely a counselor who eval-ed him thought he had knowledge of the girls age.

Really think about how much effort you are putting into deffending this relationship and how much time you have spent trying to learn the truth. To be honest you are probably more confused then when you started off with. Do you really want to be with someone that you have to do background checks, fliers are handed out in your neighborhood and your local therapists sees your b/f for child molestation?
 Angel Eyes_Sassy Mouth
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 147
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 10:03:36 AM
Very well put Jesibunnies...Statistics do show the majority are repeat offenders! A friend of mine e-mailed me a while back with a web site that provides up to date lists of sex offenders. I checked and in my area alone there were 16 of them. One of which i knew by sight and another in a close town. One of them was just out of high school. Anyone interested...It's FAMILY WATCHDOG....
 electric_jester62
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 148
view profile
History
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 10:45:57 AM
Hey look......... you're 22 years old ? There are plenty out there and you have all the time in the world. Aside of the sex offender part, I haven't heard you say much that is redeeming about the guy in any part of this. You are already on here asking opinions of others because you have major doubt in your head yourself......your gut is already telling you what to do......so if talking here is where you think you may find the answers, then consider this your shove and get yourself out of this......

He was right....... this needs undoing.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 149
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 7:14:42 PM
I agree in my own way/words tho if she cares about him and she KNOWS what she wants to do then none of us can help us she is going to have to make the choice/decision on her own because when it all come's down to it, it will be her and him liveing their lives togeather or her liveing with her decision/choice after it's been made.

But i wish you the best of luck on what you do decide to do but just remember men/boys have feeling's as well as women/girl's and what YOU decide to do may affect the, both of you in alot of way's just not one of you.

 JohnLN
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 150
view profile
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 2/27/2006 8:01:48 PM
Be aware, simply not talking about it might not make the whole sex offender thing fade into the mists of time. Around here (Milwaukee, WI), whenever the local media is having a slow day, the go and pick on the registered sex offenders. Doesn't matter if it was just a screwup (which is what it sounds like your guy got into), they go and scream self-righteous blather at folks who've done their time. I don't care for it - I can't think of anything lower than a rapist, but in cases where consent is given, the hell with it - he did his time, he served his debt, and it sounds like he's being good. Let the man stand up straight, for God's sake.
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