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| dumb question for other women: How do you know if you're having the big O??
Posted: 10/24/2007 1:26:52 PM | Orgasm.......
What does it feel like?
The best one ive ever had was amazing. I lost complete control of my whole body, I felt my body tremble, when touched during it, my body felt tingly......my partner said that my moans, where super sexy....and to tell you the truth I dont remember making a peep.
I do remember grabbing him......and hold on to him, and orgasm was over, I let him go........and felt sooooooooooooo relaxed | |
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Dave-H
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Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 111 | |
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| dumb question for other women: How do you know if you're having the big O??
Posted: 11/4/2007 6:18:05 AM | 1st off women have different types of the big O
There is the clit--the g-spot and vaginal--and anal if you go there
All with different feelings and re-actions
yes there are multiple and even those can be different--being you can come all the way down in between or stay partly orgasmatic and peak higher than the 1st previous
the best is similtaianous(sp) when my man and I come together and then just remains inside of me for awhile instead of a quick withdrawal | |
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| dumb question for other women: How do you know if you're having the big O??
Posted: 12/19/2007 2:35:14 PM | | It's not a dumb question at all. Or at least I don't think so. Had my first self-induced orgasm that I knew of when I was 17, and that certainly wasn't the first time I ever tried. Had one other orgasm that I knew was an orgasm when I was 14, and the guy I was ****ing "slipped" and slammed into a hold I hadn't intended to have him in, and the pain threw me into a very intense orgasm..lucky for him, or I'd have knocked him the **** out. But anyway, back to the question at hand...I, like you, was wondering what the hell was going on. Is it broken? What the hell? heh..then I noticed that after a point, my clit would become really sensitive, and I'd have to stop whatever I was doing or having done to me. But I was always looking for this thing, waiting for it to happen, and it never did. Then I started wondering, what with the sudden sensitivity and all, if in looking so hard for it, if maybe I was missing it. In other words, in putting so much thought and energy into trying to have an orgasm..I found that I was completely missing it, that I didn't even realize I was having an orgasm. I started just focusing on the pleasure that I was feeling, and sure enough, I started knowing when I was cumming. Make sense? Clear as mud? Hope this helps. | |
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| dumb question for other women: How do you know if you're having the big O??
Posted: 12/20/2007 4:16:53 AM | Hey Kate,
You come across as a great, well-balanced, intelligent and confident woman. I love how you have handled the posts/suggestions. You call a spade a spade - I am totally in agreement that statements like "I'll come over and help you out" are annoying and unhelpful. Your posts show that you have a very healthy attitude toward sex.
I think you might find this book interesting.
I *Heart* Female Orgasm
By Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller
Amazon has a great review written by shannon Pringle
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Female-Orgasm-Extraordinary-Guide/dp/1569242763
The experience (physical and psychological) of orgasm defies easy description. Most attempts sound physically unappealing and far from sexy. This is not a criticism of those who tried, it's more of an appreciation of the complexity of sexual arousal and the limitations of our language.
As I read the responses and mentally gathered the information, the less helpful stuff started to look like this:
"You are trying to hard, relax and stop thinking about it. It's natural for girls not to have orgasms, don't worry though, when you are older it'll happen by itself. When it does you will feel like you are falling off a cliff while your mind and body explode, your eyeballs pop out, then roll back in your head, your legs are paralysed and you will shake uncontrollably, sweat and have convulsions, finally you will implode, crash and die ( a little death)". However, if you want one now, stop making excuses and take our advice. Saying you are too busy just means you are avoiding it. Go and practise the suggestions and don't pretend that you don't feel you are missing out..............."
Thank goodness though - Really positive and helpful stuff was also posted.....
I found this fantastic description of orgasm - "20 seconds of unparalleled rapture".
A powerful orgasm is so utterly overwhelming that on unstoppable waves of ecstacy and breathtaking exhilaration we transcend rational thought and physical control. How a woman feels and acts during orgasm is a combination of typical responses (flushed skin, increased heart rate etc) and individual responses. So, some women sweat, some shake, some go rigid, some moan, some scream, some gush, some clench their toes etc. Likewise, how women feel (and describe) orgasm is also a combination of the typical and the individual/unique. Some explode and/or implode, skydive, summit Everest, shoot the moon, get the gold, fly like an angel, slide down the rainbow, ride the bull, sing Dixie or die the little death
best,
e | |
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| dumb question for other women: How do you know if you're having the big O??
Posted: 12/20/2007 12:35:09 PM | #1 relax
#2 Relax
#3 RELAX
find a partner who's only desire is to give you and orgasm. then stay IN YOUR BODY and OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
your guy is going to be a master cunniliguist.
also,,, maybe you need a differnt setting. lights on or off. maybe tied down or something else like that
also find your g spot and have him massage it. | |
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| dumb question for other women: How do you know if you're having the big O??
Posted: 12/20/2007 1:42:14 PM | Not a dumb question - hey, on page 5 of responses...that says something.
I had trouble with this years ago and in fact am still learning as I go. So here' s a few suggestions from my side of the peanut gallery.
first step is continuing to learn from your body...I would suggest doing this in private. You are obviously working on this. I learned quite accidentally while in college that my hand did nothing for me...like trying to tickle yourself - it's impossible. Anything else felt better. Believe it or not, I first figured out how to access an O with a spoon. Clitoral stimulation only.
About a year ago, I bit the bullet, so to speak, and bought a vibrator. From a site called www.sensualuniverse.com (which is owned by cduniverse so what comes in the mail doesn't have a sexy name). It was cheap and it rocks. It's called a magic dragon clit tickler...look it up. A cheap investment, it's waterproof, and you can control the intensity. It is for clitoral stimulation. When you've tried using something like a toothbrush, the stimulation may have been too intense, or not enough. Also, for me, I have to have a good rocking fantasy in my head at the same time...if you know what turns you on mentally, then use that at the same time. Be patient, don't push it. make sure you start out relaxed and not overly cold/hot, etc. If clitoral stimulation isn't making you feel good, then move it around to other areas down there...including your anus as I understand it is very sensitive. When you find a spot that feels good to you, use it there, get your mental fantasy going, and see what happens.
LEt's see..you are young, so I wouldn't think estrogen would be a problem, but if you are needing a lube during sex then that suggests that there really is more going on than just not hitting the O. Do you have regular menstrual cycles? If you don't (and by regular I mean about the same # of days each month), then I would def see your ob and get hormones checked. Lower estrogen levels result in vaginal dryness and most def affect arousal.
Here's something I learned recently...as women approach perimenopause and their natural estrogen drops, the vaginal wall thins...this means it's easier to hit the magical g-spot during sex. Guess what? This would, um, be describing me. I never thought the G spot was real until perimenopause and suddenly, sex became a whole new ballgame.
Vaginal dryness if your estrogen levels are just fine also is a sign that you aren't getting aroused enough during foreplay... BTDT during my 12 yr marriage. I'm not sure what the fix is except more foreplay and trying to figure out what you need to get you going from your guy.
Anyway, as someone else said, women orgasm in more than one way. Have I ever had one during sex? Honestly I"m not sure either. As you describe, it feels really awesome. I certainly peak and then come down. But it is NOT the same as a clitoral orgasm I have alone. OTOH, during intercourse I am not having clitoral stimulation, so maybe a g-spot or vaginal orgasm is just plain different. I'd like to continue, um, experimenting...you know, in the name of science and all. lol. But in the meantime I still love sex. And quite frankly I wish guys would relax on the topic a bit...it's not a game to try to make me come...that just puts pressure on me I *don't* need.
I read a great book years ago for women who didn't O during sex and basically what it said is what you've heard from us here. first, figure out how to achieve it when you are alone...then gradually work towards replicating that when you are with a partner. I swear, try the magic dragon thingy...it's like 15 bucks of true magic for me! :)
What I have mostly concluded is that I have great sensations when alone and great sensations during sex and for me, they just aren't exactly the same. Oh well. Isn't life better w/variety anyway?
Kaylie | |
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