| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 4:56:37 PM | As an Italian magnet, I've met everyone of their parents inside of 3 months. Even if what he says is true and if he was into you he would bring you home by now. He already knows that your not the one. Give him one more chance and if he can't or won't do it, that's your cue to walk. Your wasting your time.  | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 4:59:18 PM | | I am half Greek and of half Roman descent. I can assure you what he is telling you is true. You can date all you want, but when you bring a girl home for dinner, you are announcing your future wife, in both cultures. It is that big a deal. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:08:21 PM | bulls*cough*hit...I was born and raised in Italy and my parents have always taken an interest in who my friends were and who I was seeing....its called parenting...in any culture
oh and my entire extended family in Italy are all the same with their kids. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:10:39 PM | I don't know, but for some reason I think I would be a little taken back by this.
I don't think it has to do with him coming from an Italin family...but there is something going on there that is odd ..hhhmm..... | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 30 | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:17:45 PM | hi there, many moons I went out with a family orientated Greek guy. Pretty much the same thing regarding family. I wasnt even Greek, but he took me home to the family aftera bout 3 months. If he is serious about you after 11 months, its time he thinks about it
what he is saying is true to an extent, but NOT that true that someone he is seeing cant meet the family or else they are practically engaged. Italians are allowed to have girlfriends. And nearly a year...I would say its not that he cant take them home, he doesnt want to ! And its probably becuase they will create a fuss and askhim questions. The thing is though if he is serious about your relationship he shouldnt mind answering those questions. He has to do it sooner or later no matter who he is going out with, so why not for you?
Im not saying his intentions are bad or evil...but he has to face the music sooner or later. he should be able to at least talk about it with you. How bout setting a date in the future that both of you are happy with and see if he sticks to it.
You do deserve to be acknowledged as his girlfriend after all this time, I personally feel | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:23:04 PM | | See, I would have a big problem with what he is doing. I come from an Italian family -- right off the boat, if you will -- and to wait that long would be unprecedented in my family. The reason this is a problem for me is that, like it or not, his family may become your family one day, and I would want to know more about that family as soon as I could, simply out of respect. Almost a year is long enough that there are thoughts that this relationship will inevitably be long-term. So, what is long enough? Two years? I think it is getting to the "ridiculous" stage. Second, I would be very suspicious at this point that he was hoping to avoid my seeing something I or he did not want to see, whatever that may be. I would also think he may be hiding something that just might "slip out" if you got too close to them or even showed your face to meet them. BTW, are you not a "big deal" by now? I should hope so, because if you were my girlfriend you would certainly be to ME. | |
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ya472
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Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 33 | |
| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:27:21 PM | ..
If you desire to live in a controlling atmosphere, hang in there. If you think things are bad now, wait until you DO meet the family.
It sounds like you do not understand the family's ethnic dynamics. Maybe you should research it.
Kinda like being caught in a gill-net; in head-first, and no way to back out.
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:27:24 PM |
I am half Greek and of half Roman descent. I can assure you what he is telling you is true.
I guarantee that this protocol is derived strictly from your greek descent and not your Italian | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:38:25 PM | | why is every body stressing on italian and greek are the only familly out there who wont accept anyone for their kids, are they more special than other cultures like carribean\african\eastindian and list goes on more culture parents, ya I know this thread is about an italian guy but trust me there are people in the same race who wont accept anyone just because a small thing as a shader darker than what they expect, I know a greek lady in my job who wont accept her son marrying a greek girl because she has too many pimples on her face, geez.figure that one out. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:41:52 PM | Okay this is going to be fairly crude but never the less to the point
I have some italian friends that are very family orientated just to say the least
Most of them are into respect *those of you that know respect know what I mean*
However despite what the family might say he will do what he thinks is right and have some kohonas
If he is a men enough he will state
Okay you gumbas this is my girlfriend you have two choices
1 you accept her in my life and deal with it
2 you can NOT accept her and be left out of family functions
Rather simple
now the gumba comment would not be to immediate family like mom and dad
But you seem to date the guy for a while so I would presume out of respect to you and your family he would of introduced you to them
I would consider it very strongly and ask him where is this relationship going
CIAO
Robert | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 37 | |
| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:49:40 PM | I have never understood the term gumba  what is that? What does that even mean?
OT: If after 11 months he hasnt taken you home, he obviously doesnt think that your marriage material | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 6:50:27 PM | | My family is Italian and they don't work that way. Lord knows my sisters drag every guy they date home to meet the parents. Usually it's not a good sign if they don't want you to meet the parents. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/10/2006 12:13:50 AM | This is a bunch of bs actually.
I come from an italian family, first generation and if im dating a girl for some time and I DONT bring her home it's not because of any other fact than in the back of my mind the relationship isnt going to last.
Or im not that into her yet..And after several months, if he's not that into you yet, then it's time to start asking direct questions.
Dont ask us..Ask him..Go "Hey Rocko, get your hand off your crotch and come over here..I gotta ask you sumpthin..What's up with the familia and why am I not getting any face time??"
I think the reason why most women end up in long drawn out bad relationships is because theyre afraid to ask the important questions up front..instead they ask everyone else for their opinions than the response that really matters. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:40:51 PM | K sorry I didn't asnwer back sooner
ANyways heres a couple answers to your questions...he just turned 26, he lives like 45 min away so not that far but not around the block - and I do ask the important questions, I have asked him about this, but like I said its started to come back up in my mind because I agree that it could be strange or it could be normal - i'm not italien so I can't for sure say what their culture is like so its a little different there...
What if he says little things like - last night we were talking about winning the lotery - and I said something about if you win I won't have to work for the rest of my life hehe and he was like oh ya well I guess i'll have to get you to sign a pre-nump...now, these comments aren't all the time but there have been a few marriage comments come out of him - you would think if he for sure didn't see a future between us he wouldnt say something like that right??
( I dunno maybe i'm wrong ) | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:41:13 PM | K sorry I didn't asnwer back sooner
ANyways heres a couple answers to your questions...he just turned 26, he lives like 45 min away so not that far but not around the block - and I do ask the important questions, I have asked him about this, but like I said its started to come back up in my mind because I agree that it could be strange or it could be normal - i'm not italien so I can't for sure say what their culture is like so its a little different there...
What if he says little things like - last night we were talking about winning the lotery - and I said something about if you win I won't have to work for the rest of my life hehe and he was like oh ya well I guess i'll have to get you to sign a pre-nump...now, these comments aren't all the time but there have been a few marriage comments come out of him - you would think if he for sure didn't see a future between us he wouldnt say something like that right??
( I dunno maybe i'm wrong ) | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/11/2006 3:43:21 AM | Ok, I have to add my 2 cents here.
First off, most Italian families are very warm, loving, welcoming, and demonstrative. Italians are affectionate, sociable people. Now if you're talking "old world" Italians, there are a few generalizations that ring true.
He's 26--they're thinking he should be married already or well on his way.
They want him to bring home an Italian girl and mom wants her to be able to cook.
Yes, mom runs the household, but if nonna is still around, she likely lives with them and mom may defer to her.
But as AI stated earlier- When pop talks, everyone listens (including mom). And that, my dear, is the key. All your man needs to do is have a heart to heart with his dad. And dad will make sure that everyone treats you cordially, even if you're not what momma wishes. Because let's face it, in this type of family, the men rule. Dad will demand that the son respects mom, but will also step in to put mom in her place with regard to the son.
So, the bottom line is--if your guy is not making the necessary arrangements to bring you home to meet the family--he's stalling for a reason. I know that stinks to hear, and it stinks to say too. But if he doesn't do something about it soon, you may want to think about that.
Also, never take seriously what a man says in jest. If he was thinking about marriage, there would have been actual discussion, not idle jokes. Please don't pin your hopes on jokes hun.
I hope this all works out as you wish--all the best to you! | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:18:36 AM | I just don't understand what his intentions are then, I mean he treats me good, he does a lot of sweet little jestures, he hasn't met my parents yet but thats because they live 4 hours away, but he has met my older brother who would be harder on him than any one of my parents...he hasn't said I love you yet though - could that be another sign?? I mean with that I also don't just use it very lightly so for that one I could see waiting a little bit for - but I guess I just don't know why he would be with me for so long, and put in this effort if he has no intentions of having a future with me...
The hard part is, I love him - so hearing some of this stuff kinda sucks - but maybe its what I need to hear? | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:53:39 AM |
but I guess I just don't know why he would be with me for so long, and put in this effort if he has no intentions of having a future with me...
Jocy, this is the quandry most women feel in a relationship. We're looking towards the future, when alot of men live more in the moment. Although you made this thread, and it was obviously for a reason, the problem with that of course is that people will confirm your fears, and fill you with new ones. So if this relationship is important to you, you need to sit down with this man and get across the point that this ISSUE is real and it needs dealing with. Because to him, it's just meeting the folks, but to you, it signifies so much more. | |
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