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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/11/2006 4:48:23 PM | I'm Greek and alot of greeks and italians that I know think the same way as your boyfriend does. You don't bring anyone home unless you plan to marry them. Of course there are loads of exceptions. But that's the way some of the parents think - your boyfriend however doesn't have to believe in that but he might feel he has to respect their beliefs.
I would be upset too if my boyfriend didn't introduce me to his family especially after 11 months. Not everyone thinks that way though. Perhaps he is embarrassed by his family? Perhaps he just doesn't want to be teased afterwards about when he is going to pop the question. Regardless, if it means alot to him as it does for you he should have introduced you. Talk to him about it and tell him it bugs you. See what he says. Good luck. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/11/2006 6:23:18 PM | hmmm, just my opinion here and i think your not the only girl !
u could be getting used for what u r offering this guy and it will never go any further
like,sex money using your car all the time, | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:06:39 AM | | hi this happened to me to at about 6 months into the relationship....it was thanksgiving and christmas....he spent the day before but he didnt invite me to the family thing......by the way iam italian ....i was even born there.....my mom has meet him and she didnt expect marrige.there blows his excuse....sorry......ok back to my point....we have almost a 20 year age difference so i knew why he didnt invite me.......and his mother is even two years younger....image that one.....well what did i do.....well being the italian girl ...i made a fuss about it....stood my ground called him christmas day and said .....hey i appreciate that i spent christmas eve with you but i refuse to be alone ......he picked me up and took me to meet the family.....it was fine nothing bad happened ......now he feels better..less guilty.....sooooo my advice is you need to insist that even though you are not getting married you still feel that he needs to take you to meet them .....and he can say this is my friend....and at least you would know......if he says no.......still date him but make sure he knows you are not happy about it.....no ****ing just plain and simple.. back to my story.....it has been 18 months know and iam invited and they like me.......we may get married but at least i feel like iam not his mistress.... | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:15:16 AM | | the last part of my message is suppose to be .....WE MAY NEVER GET MARRIED..but now that i get to join in on his family thing... and even meet his friends.iam happy......they really liked me so he worried for nothing... and again it made me ...NOT FEEL LIKE his mistress... | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:17:11 AM | uh... have you met any of his friends?? or any co-workers or anyone in his life?? or is he keeping them away..
here is why I ask... I married a man from bangladesh.. he wouldn't introduce me to anyone he knew.. stupid me..thought.. ok.. i'll just buy his stories.. but as time went on.. I noticed one day as we were walking in a mall he ushered me quickly into a shop.. and made bee line towards the back..
I started to do a little research.. cause something just didn't feel right.. turned out.. he never told his family he was married to me because he was actively engaged to be married in his country..
I however, did get his family address and wrote to his mother myself.. shortly after we divorced..
just be careful.. if he's introduced you his friends then he may just feel introducing you to his family is a big step.. however, if you haven't met anyone in his life. I'm gonna say that you need to be very careful.. good luck to you. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:18:38 AM | The parents probably want him to marry italian or they won't buy him a house when he gets married, but in all likelihood, he could care less. He is too gutless to tell his parents to screw off and worry about themselves. Even if he did do that, his parents have likely brainwashed him so badly that the relationship won't work out in the long haul because of it. Trust me, I know guys like him. My one Greek friend Johnny Abs, he loved WASP (white anglo saxon protestant) girls, but he was so brainwashed into marrying a greek girl that he could never bring a WASP around his home. ...He was afraid his family would disown him....Eventually he did cave and married a greek girl.
Your bf simply doesn't want to go to bat for you .....Greeks..Italians...those Portuguese...the ones that are off the boat are the biggest racists going. Spend any time around them and it is always "Greek this"...."Portuguese that"....Do WASP's in Canada carry on like that? Hell no.
The best tell tale sign is to get to the parents to see what they're like...Somehow get yourself over there....if he puts up a big fight over it....You know what I've said is true.....If you get your foot in the door and you have dinner with them......Do they scream at the dinner table at each other? When they do scream, is it in English or Italian? If they scream at all, you will know they are not "Canadianized" and they have the old world mentality in their head. In that case, cut your loses and move on. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:32:36 AM | | I AGREE WITH YOU 100%.....thay are italian americans.......like i said before my family is true italian...we came from rome italy.....so his excuse does not fly with me.....if you want to meet his family and friends you deserve it.....he is your lover ........and hopefullysuppose to be your friend....now iam all fired up about this...he is making me mad.....lol....sorry its your call..... | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:37:10 AM | | NOt that meeting someones parents is such a big deal . It wouldnt be to me. But has it ever crossed your mind that maybe this guy is married? Is separated ? Maybe his parents live far away. In a way your lucky not to meet someones parents usually they judge the person and sometimes thats not the greatest for your relationship. Also If the guy was really serious about you at this time you definitly would have met his parents.. Have you met his friends and brothers and sisters ? If you have not met any of them then I would worry. Best of luck | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:41:06 AM | I'd be hurt cause I'd feel like something was wrong with me but Italian families are very close knit and it's just a culcural (spelling) thing. It's a big thing to bring a man home in my family esp. at my age and since I've been single so long. How do I deal with the crowd and all their stupid questions? | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:44:24 AM | | Well after all these month you have not met his friends and he lived 45 min from you and only comes to your house. You said in your post you picked him up once too. If your not staying at his house with him and he is just seeing you to hang out. It sounds to me like maybe he might even have a girlfriend or wife. I know a girl who had something like this and they guy ended up being very married and on the nights she saw him he was telling his wife he was working or playing cards. One day the phone rang and it was his wife. She saw the guy for almost 2 yrs. People can do very sneaky things ( especially married men sometimes) .Why let this go on this way if it is bothering you. You should do something about it. I personally wouldnt care if i met someones parents. I would though have wanted over that long an amt would have thought they would have had me visit them, good luck | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:52:51 AM | | I think you've answered your own question here Jocy.....you've been dating 11 months and he's NEVER said he loves you, AND you've never met his family?! He couldn't be any clearer darlin'. I hate to say it, but at 26 he's old enough to know what he's doing, and I'd say he's just playing with you. It's great that he's so sweet to you and you two seem to get along so well when you're together...and if that's enough for you, great. (but i don't think it is) BUT, he sounds like he has no serious intentions towards you judging from his actions thus far. Red Flag. IF he does have serious intentions towards you, but is just too immuture to actually articulate them to you, or his family for fear of rejections, also a big red flag. Think very carefully before you invest anymore of your time and emotion into this guy. How long do you want to wait to actually be a 'real' part of his life? It's been almost a year...are you willing to wait two? What do you deserve in a relationship? Might be a few things you should ponder. Best of luck to you, hope it all works out the way you'd like it to! | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:58:07 AM | jocy 21
I was in a simpiliar situation with a girl
after that amount of time it means" you are not the one"
stings a bit i know.......
he enjoys your "cuddle time" but ya
don't hold your breath for a ring....you would turn blue | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/12/2006 8:09:43 AM | I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Come on now, it is what it is.....nice but NOT the 1! It seems you BOTH are kinda keeping options open somewhat while "commiting". For now, in his mind you simply are NOT the 1. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:59:23 PM | | I waited a year and a half before I met the parents and now we still have not gotten married and we have been together for 15 years. Don't waste your time. If he loved you he would be breaking down the door to have everyone meet you because he would be proud of you and the love he has for you. Dump him!!!! | |
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