| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:45:23 AM | I've talked to guys , they mention to me that most of the women in POF and other websites are looking to get laid as well as men looking for fun also . So don't blame it on the men only , baby it works both ways. If the woman is willing the man isn't going to say no... The man only go as far as a LADY lets him. Well some men do rejected the offer... I talk to a guy who goes to meet a woman, who wants to take advantage of the opportunity and have sex. Even though he wasn't interested in seeing him again and it was their first meeting. Of course he/or most guys will go for it . Why not you server him a dish he will eat it....for free too ! So laid off putting the blame on men ONLY... Most women are serial daters in POF and other websites as well as men and know what they are doing ... I have two sons and they have to deal with ladies that offer themselves to them and they aren't talking about online.
I believe most women/men are attractive to the person in order to have sex with them weather one night stand or more nights.... so there is some kind of emotion involved on the woman's part because we tend to be more emotional then men.. then again I might t be mistaken , for some don't even have emotions anymore after they've been serial daters and mistreating their body for so long...
Just my opinion on your thread....after all we are all adults and make our choices....
after all lust has been around for ages... started in the Garden of Eve and that is another thread.. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:50:06 AM |
Don't give in to the sex? whats the point in going out w/a hot guy, if you can't have a little no strings fun? lol
If he is hot, make him come back for more,,,,I am sorry, but if you giving it up on the first date, you cant expect that they are going to be serious about you. They may call back, but it will be for more sex.
My idea of fun isn't spreading my legs for a stranger, even if he is hot. The point of going out with a hot guy is to see if he can actually hold a decent conversation,,,,what he likes, where he came from, what makes him him,,,,,O WOW. I guess I can only speak for myself here, but sex on the first date is SO not worth my time.
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:57:58 AM | | So its all up to the guys then,Are there no (Real Women)? cause ive know some that are just as bad if not worse. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:25:33 AM | I haven't read all the numerous responses to this thread, but come on peeps, emotional connection or not, shouldn't you wait until you figure out whether or not he's a "WALKAWAY JOE" or not. Anyone can say anything, promise anything, but time is the true teller . Most guys that are serious about you don't really mind waiting. It's the "JOES" that will give up if he doesn't get in your pants quickly. Then he'll look down on you as easy if you do give in. Look for the guy that you like that doesn't mind waiting. Remember: "Good things come to those who wait."
L8TR | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:58:03 AM |
I'm a sexual creature, too. At my age, I don't expect to have to act like some kind of frustrated virgin in order to keep the guy. If we have sex and he runs, is that my issue or his?
Ah! A voice of maturity and reason.
"Give it up"? That makes it sounds as if sex is like a slab of pork served on a platter. Women need to take responsibility for OUR actions. If you sleep with a guy, it was your decision as much as it was his. We need to drop outdated phrases such as "giving it up," "giving in," etc. They make it sound as if sex is a chore--if it is, why bother?
Like Artemisrising, I am a sexual creature and I have reached a level of maturity due to my age and experience. Sex isn't about "giving it up" or "offering" myself; sex is about mutual pleasure between two people who like each other. If I don't like someone, whether I just met him or have known him for five years, why would I have sex with him?
Perhaps women who have sex with a man who doesn't call merely need to be more circumspect with whom they sleep. Approach it with an "I'm doing this because I want-to attitude" and not "oh, he wants sex so I guess I'll do it because we are going to have a relationship." If a committed relationship is what you want, wait until the relationship is established before sex.
By the way, I have never had sex with a man and not had him call or not seen him again--that's because I have sex with mature men, not boys. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:19:12 AM | I have to post to this one. I have had experiences where the communication is great in the first meeting. I hold off with the sex even tho they want to , then go out with them a second time. Then they are all hot for you, tell you all sorts of things. Then you finaly say...ok..it's safe to have sex with them cuz they are telling you that they want to be with you and have a relationship. So the sex comes ( obviously too soon) and then they woiuld just drop off the face of the planet. They made the chase, they made the quest. They got their conquest....then they move on to the next. Maybe I am no good in bed....nawww!!! This was back in the day mind you. But it still leaves a girl vulnerable and thinking something may be wrong with them. This is not the case. I very rarely go out anymore and when I do, they NEVER get sex on the first date. And on top of that, I never will sleep with anyone until they really 'get' me. And still then there are no guarrentees! And mind you, I would call. Believe me, I would call. I am not a game player, but I find most others are online. It's too bad it has to be that way.  | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:23:05 AM | 
We need to drop outdated phrases such as "giving it up," "giving in," etc. They make it sound as if sex is a chore--if it is, why bother?
But do you mean "Surrender the pink!" is out?
It sounds like something one would say in an old B&W movie stagecoach robbery holdup scene. When I am requesting sex this way I ponder whether I need to wear a red bandana across my nose and face. "Stick 'em up and surrender the pink!" 
By in large I find the people who are so polarized about sex is that it is really a reflection on their own relationship with sex. How they relate to it internally, but instead of admit that to themselves they blame the other party. Though it is refreshing to see some enlightened women here about this issue. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:24:35 AM | | I have to agree that when I look at a man, I am thinking..."Do I and could I have sex with him?"...If I can't, I won't go out with him. There's no point in it. Because he's not in the 'relationship factor'. If I can, then I will go out with him. Becasue there is alot of potential. Now, I will make him wait. A long time before. I am not on here for sex. Eventually, yes! But not initially. I think guys value a woman more for not giving in, even tho they want it. If she lays it down easily for him, he's more apt to think she will and has for anyone else. Don't devalue yourselves...that goes for men and women. K | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:24:50 AM | I'm not comfortable "giving in" until after at least a few dates, but I don't judge others who do this.
Recently, I asked a man what guys really think of girls who put out on the first date. He responded, "If she sleeps with me on the first date, she'll sleep with anyone on the first date." Or, he may have said, "...she sleeps with everyone on the first date."
I think he is 100% correct in how most men perceive this -- But, as a woman, I bet there are girls out there who really do only give in once in a while, but the guy thinks otherwise. JMO. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:59:54 AM | I enjoyed your entry on the 13th!
I like you think, when looking at a woman, could I or would I have sex with them? Because if I couldn't have sex with them than there is absolutely no way I could make love to them. So, based on that and the chemistry of the first date, I would ask for another. But, I WILL NOT ask for another date if the hottie has no chemistry with me.
I also agree with your point about waiting for a long time. I am a guy who loves women. As such, I would definitely say I would value a woman more if the relationship is great but I haven't been there yet. I could imagine the "sex" or love making on a honeymoon after a couple of years of dating/courting without sex. And I truly believe that "sex" is Hellabetter when the heart is 100% involved. Imagine the climax when the heart and body are both in blissful extacy! WOW! | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 10:21:11 AM |
Personally I have a three date limit when it comes to sex: if on the third date you do not at least give me oral, I find another woman who is willing to do the heavy lifting. Every woman I have dated has given me sex the night we meet or on the second date.
On the other hand, this attitude is a bit . . . overbearing.
The poster has no pic on his profile; I can only surmise that he is dropdead handsome with a personality that doesn't show in his post, or he has a lot of money.
Just like you girls want to know
Maybe this is the problem--some of us are talking about women and men and some are talking about girls and boys.
I haven't been a girl for a long, long time. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:57:25 PM |
By the way, I have never had sex with a man and not had him call or not seen him again--that's because I have sex with mature men, not boys.
That could be true Gwendolyn, but it could also be that you are that memorable of a lady. I'd call you back.
L8TR | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:59:53 AM | I have heard that women who have sex on the first date are called dinner whores...eewwhh...but I can't judge anyone. I didn't like that term. Men who have sex on a first date are well....just being men. Is this fair? Ha Ha!!!  | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:17:33 AM | I know what you mean. I've met a couple of women who seem to think that if you have sex with them, esp. early in the relationship, then it's some sort of unbreakable bond and that you have to keep dating them, get engaged and then marry them. Now most of that only happened to me once but for those that didn't work out for whatever reason, I'm tied of being told that I've hurt them and that I've used them. I'm sorry ladies but sex is a two way streak. And yea, I met a woman who used me for a great night of pleasure to never hear from her again even though I tried to. Was I hurt and offended. Well, yes, but I don't go around blaming women for her actions or claiming that she used me. It seems like too many woman get love mixed up with sex. Trust me, you're not going to find sexual love on a first date. That's called sex and lust. To be love, you have to date for awhile and really get to know each other better.
Ed | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:27:12 AM | | Guys, you just don't know how USED we women feel after having sex with you and then we don't hear from you. Like many of us women, I have been hurt way to much and I am really tired of it. So, I have learned in the past, If you want sex with me, move on, I am not interested only if you are interested in have a relationship that means something special. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:49:14 AM | Used?????........Used??????.........And you think men do not feel Used????...
The meeting is wonderful, the getting to know one another awesome, and the time spent together in and out of bed can make or break any relationship or date. Unless you bring your "health" papers with you on your first date, there will be no sex.
The first meeting should be for a reality check to see if you have the attraction and desire to want more, not to have sex. That first kiss will tell you much and how it affects all of your body, and there is no need to tumble into bed to prove anything.
Waiting for many dates, multiple weeks, months, etc., proves nothing either except that one or both are playing the game.
What it comes down to is that "chemistry" to want to be with each other in that way, and how you feel about it when done and talking with each other. The time spent should be used to get to know one another, get tested, know what you are doing and why, want it mutually, talk about it and make it happen.
All to often, the sex part becomes that main focus of the event, and not all the "rest" that gets you there, makes you good at it, wanting more, and coming back for that more. To many think that just because you do the act that the sex is good, and this is not the case at all.........there are way to many that know what sex is, but do not know how to make love, open up, and be the best you can be for your partner and yourself. That is what will bring you back over and over, not just laying down and spreading your legs......
Just my opinion......   | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:24:16 AM | And to think that getting your bread buttered is a bad thing? well you and some of the ladies can say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cant you? as in No way, Nada, zip it, dont think so Nyet or what ever language you prefer.
No wonder most guys run from people like you, always blaming the man because you couldn't say those words NO, how sad.
I have to laugh at threads like this " warning the sisterhood" oh those mean b astard men, tricking the ladies into having sex, isnt sex between two people and you have the choice to say NO. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:27:20 AM | You put out on the first night and they never call you again - not something new is it?
If you meet hot guy and want to get laid, then don't expect anything the next day or the day after that, that way there are no let downs or misunderstandings.
It's really commmon sense.
If you are looking for something more and most of us are at some point in our lives, then you hold off until you MAKE HIM WORK FOR IT! Seriously - if your feelings get hurt easily then don't do first nighters with anyone.
We teach people how to treat us. Plain and simple!
MC | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 196 | |
| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:31:03 AM |
well you and some of the ladies can say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cant you? as in No way, Nada, zip it, dont think so Nyet or what ever language you prefer.
Apparently not. It's all the guy's fault. If the woman thinks the guy won't stay around unless they put out, then that's saying that she's desperate enough to do anything just to get a guy. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:19:06 PM | I agree that if you are someone that is going to feel “used” afterwards if sex occurs very quickly and it did end up a one or two night stand then perhaps you shouldn’t have sex that quickly. The first sign to me that a man “might” be looking for a “one night stand” is asking for it on a first date before I finished my dinner, sometimes I haven‘t even finished my salad! The ball is then in my court and I have the option to “go for it” or decline. If the warning bell went off but was ignored, how do you get “used”? I personally have not even wanted a second date with many let alone sex, so not really sure how SO many women get “smooth talked” into bed.
Might be a different story if more men in my area showed up looking like C Deacon. (Did I just say that out loud?!) | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:40:47 PM |
I say 'Love, is friendship on fire'.
That is a wonderful phrase REDDWINE.......I always wait for the friendship side of things to develop first. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:59:08 PM | its either he doesn't call at all, or the relationship is sex based (ive had more of the latter on a couple occasions).
Even if it's not sexual intercourse but other types of sexual acts beyond kissing on that first date, I have found that the relationship is static at the friends with benefits type. If thats what each wants, great...but if the intent is not clear in the beginning that can be a bit traumatic to that one party who had developed a connection. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:22:46 PM | This does drive me crazy!
In my experience, women only seem to be able
to pretend, that they can (like men) have sex
without an emotional attachment. Then, I
guess, if they like you (or better) they insist
that they got used, if you don't feel the same
about them. Yet, going in, it was supposed
to be quite clear that it was only for sex.
Why do so many women, think they can just
change the rules according to THEIR whims? | |
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