| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 2:24:44 PM | blond......you slut you........  Thank you for thinking and saying that......I think.....but we have not even started our salad yet....... 
OT......I find that it does not matter if you are male or female.....if the one you are with creates the chemistry and desire in you, and you them.......sex will follow........just a matter of which part of the dinner it happens...... 
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 3:26:35 PM | Wow, did I ever misread this thread title.
I thought it was a warning to guys not to give in to girls who just want sex. 
It still applies, guys: Don't give in to the sex girls! | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 3:43:54 PM | So i noticed how many females talk about how they went on a date and things went well and felt the connection so u got laid and gave the guy some ''love''. Well if your intent is not to get laid by a guy do not give in if u really like the guy.
There seems to be too much strategizing going on here--and it doesn't really make a lot of sense to me! Have sex because you WANT sex, don't pretend that it's more than that...don't hope that it means more than that to your partner. Having sex because you want someone to like you is simply a huge mistake. If you are attaching expectations, like emotional connection, early in the dating phase, you may end up being disappointed. If you need to have an emotional connection with someone first, then wait until that's clearly been established. Personally, I like having a cerebral connection and physical chemistry with the person. Emotional attachment is something that develops--or not. If I go out on a date, however, and the attraction is at the level that I could light up downtown Washington, DC, why would I want to spend time psychoanalyzing how I'm feeling or how he's feeling? I'd be going into it with my eyes wide open and not mind-gaming the experience--simply enjoying it. Stop thinkin...start sexin'! | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 3:58:25 PM | In my experience, women only seem to be able
to pretend, that they can (like men) have sex
without an emotional attachment. Then, I
guess, if they like you (or better) they insist
that they got used, if you don't feel the same
about them. Yet, going in, it was supposed
to be quite clear that it was only for sex.
Gee, that's a bummer. Do you think it's possible that it's really not so much an emotional attachment they want but just that huge physical/psychological connection?
I don't ever remember ever being caught up in giving sex because I wanted to be liked. I had sex because I liked sex, because I wanted sex, because the person had the ability to get into my head and mind "flock" me first. I tended to let nature take its course where the relationship and emotional aspects were concerned. I've had situations where it took time for an attraction to build, but it was ATTRACTION, not some deep emotional attachment.
Is it me, or do people purposely make sex so complicated?? :-) | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:39:18 PM | What are you saying in the OR post?
It's okay to sleep with him if he is hot and you want fun... but it is not okay to sleep with him if you want a relationship?
Ohhhhhhh kaaaayyyyy...... I'm confused...
I must say that not everyone is that shallow. As a matter of fact.... I once had lunch with a wonderful girl. It turned into a trip to the mesume and then a movie and then climbing a local mountain top to watch the sun set and then dinner... then drinks at her place..... yes, I did not leave for 3 years. So, it's not always like *hit and run*. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 7:15:01 PM | Allibooboo,
Your posts (205 and 206) provide the most sane and reasonable perspective on this that I have ever read! Thank you so much! 
I don't think that people themselves make sex so complicated. However, their parents and others who have religious or other control issues do have a tendency to confuse things for their kids.
I totally agree with you that it's a very bad idea to trade sex to feel liked. If you do that, you aren't really sharing yourself sexually. You're really selling your services--perhaps not for money--but for whatever it is you hope to get in return. If people enter into sex as equals who respect each other, they won't feel crazy and used and remorseful afterwards.
And it really is about _respect._ It is entirely possible to feel attracted to someone for whom you have no respect. It is also possible to be infatuated with someone you don't respect. Affection is simply the wrong sentiment on which to build a lasting relationship.
If you sleep with someone before you've established a mutually respectful relationship, the guy's going to move on--not because you're not worthy, but because he woke up the next morning to the realization that he's just had sex with someone who couldn't possibly respect him. And, even though he might not be fully aware of it, it feels _bad_ to him. That's why he moves on.
So, hold out until you're sure that you respect him and that he respects you, and if he's smart he'll do the same. Then, if you want to have sex with him, have sex with him. If it doesn't work out after that, then it doesn't work out. But if it doesn't, you won't feel like you've betrayed yourself and neither will he.
One last thing about the "hold out for a commitment" notion. If the only thing about a man you're willing to respect is his ability to provide you with a wedding ring, you don't respect men at all and shouldn't be surprized when a man runs like hell the instant he figures it out. We deserve better than that and the smart ones among us know it. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 1/15/2008 7:24:56 PM |
blond......you slut you.....…
Who me? I have no idea what you’re talking about.
It's okay to sleep with him if he is hot and you want fun... but it is not okay to sleep with him if you want a relationship?
I am kind of confused about this as well. I have always thought that most people have the same “pattern” or their own “rules” for pretty much every situation. That premeditated idea sounds more like one is just being “used” for sex but the other is being manipulated. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 10:35:38 AM |
MSG#192-helpmeflirt wrote:Guys, you just don't know how USED we women feel after having sex with you and then we don't hear from you. Like many of us women, I have been hurt way to much and I am really tired of it. So, I have learned in the past, If you want sex with me, move on, I am not interested only if you are interested in have a relationship that means something special.
This is a topic that is so messed up. Not that this happens everyday or even every month or even every 6 months with me. But whats a guy supposed to think when he's been talking to someone and then you have some meetings and then finally things happen and it was a "mutual happening". It wasn't "me" pushing it and it wasn't "her" pushing it. "IT" just happend. Then everthing was great and you spend the rest of the day together and things are great. Then maybe the next day or even that night the person tells you they feel bad about it and then start acting all goofy? You know "SOME" women seem to have a major nerve ending running from their vagina to their emotional side of their brain and start acting all goofy and acting different after things get physical. I know its supposed to be special.An it "IS" special.But don't mess it up by saying you feel bad,, or feel guilty !
Just my opinion and everybodies got one. If you get physical with a guy don't call him up or text message him the next day telling him you feel bad or feel guilty. Everybody is human an sometimes things get physical. Don't mess up what might become something "MAJORLY" meaningful by acting all weird the next day. "MAJOR TURN OFF" | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 10:38:36 AM | If the relationship is gonna work then it will work.
I dont think how early you have sex comes into it. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:04:24 AM | Picture the fundamental elements (friendship, love, sex) as a triangle- Ideally friendship would come first, and would be the foundation of the triangle. Then love, and then sex. The problem is that alot of people flip the triangle and try to make friendship and love grow from sex. That's just simply not how it works. When you flip the triangle, eventually it'll all topple over.
I've tried it both ways, and everything in between. The fact of the matter is that I can't make anyone feel anything. If "something" is not there, it never will be. Acceptance is key. Having or not having sex with someone on a first date is certainly not going to make or break any feelings. If a man can't accept me for who I am, including my sporadic impulsiveness, then it's not going to work out short or long term.  | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:32:54 AM | Good call, gardennut ^^^^
The OP sounds just like someone from OPEC calling for cutbacks in the supply of oil to drive the price up. Yea, making gas $5/gallon will make us love them more.
NOT!
And especially so if it's awful gas which messes up the way my car runs. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:10:08 PM |
Picture the fundamental elements (friendship, love, sex) as a triangle- Ideally friendship would come first, and would be the foundation of the triangle. Then love, and then sex. The problem is that alot of people flip the triangle and try to make friendship and love grow from sex. That's just simply not how it works. When you flip the triangle, eventually it'll all topple over.
Last I checked you can turn a triangle on any side and it still remains a triangle. Which ever point might be at the apex has no bearing whatsoever to the relationship between the other two angles and that apex , it still remains a triangle and still remains whole. So it neither stays together better nor is it more apt to fall apart no matter which way you turn it.
If you see prefer to see things as a triangle, that is certainly your prerogative to do so. Me personally, I like to look at it as a circle instead, or more specifically a ring. Curves have always been more aesthetically pleasing to my eyes than angles anyways. Upside down, inside out, or what have you, a circle is still a circle isn't it? No part of a circle is any more nor any less pronounced than the other, they are all equal and equally important.
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:53:33 PM |
I know its supposed to be special.An it "IS" special.But don't mess it up by saying you feel bad,, or feel guilty !
Hold the phone, the poster didn’t mean sex makes women feel bad or guilty by itself, read it again.
Guys, you just don't know how USED we women feel after having sex with you
and then we don't hear from you.
In reality though I would say that either gender wouldn’t feel real great if they felt that someone just disappearing after the first encounter might have meant that the other person just wanted sex, got it and then poofed if that wasn't their mindset. If anyone was truly going to feel bad or guilty just after sex in general, odds are they really shouldn’t be having sex at all and need to see a therapist. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 5:09:19 PM |
Guys, you just don't know how USED we women feel after having sex with you
and then we don't hear from you.
The irony here is that men are more intuitive than is usually supposed, and pick up on the women's presumption that because they have sex he somehow then owes her something, even if just a phone call. This causes the guy to be even less likely to call -- though he may simultaneously be amused that having sex somehow seems to disable the woman's ability to punch a few numbers into a phone no matter how much she wants to talk with him.
either gender wouldn’t feel real great if they felt that someone just disappearing after the first encounter
The key word there may be "either"... the thing is, the guy may put a lot of effort into making sex happen, because that's what women require. Then, after all that work, she's unappreciative and doesn't call... double bummer. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:19:59 PM | ok we are we not grownups? if you are not out to get laid then make this known before going out whether you be man or woman. that way the boundaries are set.
as for the man not calling you after the fact i cant answer that one except to say he may be thinking the same thing. thats why communication is important. let your intentions be known before hand. and true sometimes (although i dont agree with it) people just want to get laid.
KEEP YO HEAD UP! | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:40:57 PM |
Guys, you just don't know how USED we women feel after having sex with you
and then we don't hear from you.
I guess it depends on your interpretation. Maybe the poster from message 192 could clarify what was actually meant by the statement.
The irony here is that men are more intuitive than is usually supposed, and pick up on the women's presumption that because they have sex he somehow then owes her something, even if just a phone call.
See, I didn’t get the impression that “hear” meant literally a phone call only on one side. It appears to me to be more of the idea that after the sex one was never heard (or seen) from again. Possibly any numerous ways, no call or answering calls, no text messages or answering them, no emails or responses, doesn’t answer the door or even moved out to avoid being found.
The key word there may be "either"... the thing is, the guy may put a lot of effort into making sex happen, because that's what women require. Then, after all that work, she's unappreciative and doesn't call...
Had to really stretch to come up with something that absofrigginlutely had nothing to do with what I said.  | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/31/2008 1:47:16 PM | i think there is some truth to what you are saying OP. the thing is, men can sleep with a woman and separate love and sex. women, we tend to want to have sex with men only after we have feelings for them of some sort. at the very least, we think there is a potential for a relationship, or would like to pursue one. the guy on the other hand may be just thinking about getting laid.
also, how many times on these forums have you heard some guy talk about how if a girl sleeps with him to soon he loses interest? i mean, talk about a double standard! it's okay if he does it, becuase, duh, he did it to, but if she lets him? forget it, she is toooo easy.
it's ridiculous...
lar | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/31/2008 1:59:35 PM | I think your just jealous coz your not getting any !
Why do so many women have this thing about trying to stop men having sex ?
At the end of the day if they dont get it off you they will get it elsewhere.
So you might as well get over it ! | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:47:49 PM | Im not judging because i ve done it, and alot of us females seem to get an emotional connection alot easier than the guys do.
This is a joke.I've known plenty of women who don't get attached at all.Back when I was in my late teens there where women who would have sex with 2 or 3 different guys at one party.You telling me they went home and cried about it because they weren't going to hear from them again.
its usually the women who don't ever get any that become attached so quickly.That goes for men too. | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/31/2008 10:10:12 PM | | I love sex with strangers. Meet a girl and within moments we're off doing the nasty. What's wrong with that? | |
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| Dont give in to the sex girls
Posted: 3/31/2008 10:16:53 PM | | It's not about "jerks". This is a stupid female mentality that's so prevalent in the US. It's somewhere between being a princess and being a victim. You want a guy? Pick up the goddamn phone and give him a call. | |
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