| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/1/2007 9:09:37 AM | | I think that here we need to look at what the campaigne promises were made. For examlple, I f I tell you that I want a friends with benefits package and you agree to that, than we hop into bed and suddenly your acting all strange. I would feel used as the campange promise was not met. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/1/2007 11:51:06 AM | | EXCUSE ME.....How do you have sex and NOT have your emotions tied to it????? That is the coldest thing I think I have ever heard of. Yah I know men do that...they aren't emotional creatures in the way we are though....that's what gets me...are women that numb now????geez!!!! | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/1/2007 11:53:46 AM | What most men don't realize is that if women has too many partners then we run the risk of cancer in that area. And you expect us to have numerous one night stands? Are you kidding me?  | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/1/2007 11:58:23 AM | """that...they aren't emotional creatures in the way we are though....that's what gets me...are women that numb now????geez!!!!"""
Some are (thank god for them). Where do you think all these 6 billion babies came from on Earth? but OP and I are in agreement that almost any distorted way to get a woman in bed is a good idea, even if she doesnt' know it. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/1/2007 11:59:17 AM | hmmmm....... women being used for sex. I hate to put it this way........ if you had sex with someone and then decided you don't want nothing to with them anymore, you dump them. Well the gal would feel used if you did that to them without a reason why. OH yeah remember men get used too.... in the same way if a gal does her thing with him then doesn't want him without a reason, he'd be feeling like crap as well. It's 50 /50 pretty much, if things are not takened wisely.
Just before you get into anything, make sure there's not going to be any "hard feelings" .... if something happens to end.
Just my 2 cents put in. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:07:51 AM | OK,OK.So a woman gets "used" for sex.I've been "used" for other things by women and gotten Nada out of the deal,not even sex.I've even gotten the dreaded "let's just be friends" and didn't even get friendship out of the deal.You kn0w what I do?I just move on.I take stock of what I DID get out of the time spent.Experience.Doesn't make me bitter on the gender,just makes me a bit wiser.
You can look at it this way.If at least the sex was good and you didn't get an unwanted pregnancy out of it or an STD,what are you REALLY out of except time? | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:18:09 AM | """"OK,OK.So a woman gets "used" for sex.I've been "used" for other things by women and gotten Nada out of the deal,not even sex.I've even gotten the dreaded "let's just be friends" and didn't even get friendship out of the deal.You kn0w what I do?I just move on.I take stock of what I DID get out of the time spent.Experience.Doesn't make me bitter on the gender,just makes me a bit wiser."""
Hi Taurus good point! The woman who started this whole issue with this thread needs a good whopping! Why do women start threads like this whinning about how common it is for men to lead them on with false hopes of a relationship, knowing full well, all he wants to do is fukc her and never talk to her again.
Thanks for speaking up Taurus, maybe little girls won't start threads like this anymore. You put the Kabosh on that biotch. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:16:19 AM | Eleven pages on the time honored subject of how men and women view sex differently - ya gotta love it.
In most cases, more women then men - sex implys a commitment but not always. I think, maybe sometimes, you hope it does but you won't know till you find out.
It reminds me of an old cliche - marriage is the price a man pays for sex, sex is the price a woman pays for marriage. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/4/2007 11:17:29 AM | If we hold out and they leave, we say they were only after one thing...if we have sex with them and they leave, we say they were only after one thing. And we actually act surprised and hurt on both accounts, probably because WE'RE the ones placing too much importance on it. It's not fair to tag the guy with ALL of the responsibility for this. If you go into every encounter with the mindset that this is a distinct possiblity, then you can't actually say you've been used...you can only say you were right.
Men get used all the time...for dinner, money, status, etc...The point I'm trying to make is both genders are constantly hitting each other where it hurts. For women, it's in the sex/intimacy arena, and for men it's all about what they have to offer OTHER THAN sex. And I don't see it changing any time soon. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/4/2007 11:42:47 AM | | 11th hour you are right it isn't changing anytime soon. we h humans are just such wierd creatures. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/4/2007 12:57:38 PM |
The point I'm trying to make is both genders are constantly hitting each other where it hurts.
Excellent point.I've found in my 47 years that once you stop the hitting and start looking for commonality in relationships,progress is made.Life is full of disappointments,not just in relationships but in everything else.If I treated my career like some people treat their approach to relationships,I would've never advanced beyond a minimum wage job.
For women, it's in the sex/intimacy arena, and for men it's all about what they have to offer OTHER THAN sex.
This is the key.Men need to learn about what intimacy is and women need to learn about the other aspects.There was an excellent thread on this site called "The sex mistake".Basically it was about how women make the mistake of approaching the man on a sexual basis in hopes of intimacy and how they were often disappointed.The key to a guy's heart is not his stomach or his penis,but his mind,hopes,dreams and interests.
Guys need to hold off on the boob and butt chasing if they want a relationship and women need to hold off on the flirty stuff and learn about what it is that the trips the guy's trigger.If the man of a woman's interest loves football,Nascar or science,it won't make sense for the woman to chase him with sex,hoping for an intimate relationship if she doesn't share some of his same interests.Common interests are the cornerstone for relationships.Forget about the fire that comes from opposites attracting.Intimacy will start when you engage a man in conversation about what he's passionate about.If you find his passions boring,he's not the man for you.I don't care how much the twinkle in his eye perks your interest.Sooner or later it will fade.Ditto for the guy who chases the cute butt and perky boobs. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/5/2007 7:46:23 AM | | Yes, if it is just about sex everyone has needs and some times if we are selective we give itnto them. I try not to give into them with people I think I couldn't imagine some form of relationship with... whether it is frinedship or more. Some times the attraction is so intense that it clouds really getting to know that person... I find it hard to go backwards, which means if we have had some sort of physical thing that we have both enjoyed it's hard for me to start again on a different level...lol | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/5/2007 9:36:47 AM | Anybody that has a relationship (actual relationship) shouldn't say this.
However, I've gone out with a guy a few times, had sex and not gotten a call ever again. I call that used for sex. Unless I'm rotten in the sack....nope, used for sex. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 5:44:57 AM | Brilliant post. Couldn't agree more.
I'm at the age (34) where I am drifting much more into the find a common interest/click thing but my hormones are still high enough to lech at the one-night stand perky boob and curvy figure bar-fly thing (but I can recognize it much more for what is, or much more importantly, for what it isn't). I am an affectionate and intimate person (from a psychotherapist point of view maybe it's because my mother was, I dunno). And I, like most women (and a lot of men too), cannot keep my emotions seperate from the deed, even when I was 18 to 25. I purely lusted at that age (and a little beyond too), there was affection (we were monogamous) but there was no commonality and no real intimacy. It was more akin to porn sex. I thought it was good at the time, but looking back, it wasn't. I barely scratched the surface.
I am guessing, the older we get, the more intimacy plays a role. I know for a fact, that if I don't like the woman as a person, no matter how attractive she maybe, I will physically find her repulsive. Does that make sense? | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:57:21 AM | livewire and taurus have positive outlooks on life that i can only assume came came from true experiences .... been there done that... goes a long way but yet we all desire for a true,honest.caring .loving.sexy relationship that will last forever  used 4 sex >>>> i don't think so! we're all adults ( or I thought so) we can do or not do as we PLEASE um right? | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:16:01 AM | lady kay & sunset storm r sensible women...r there more out there in my area..... | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:57:20 AM | when he uses her for sex - does he have to put batterys in?
you know turn on then off? maybe een put on to charge when hes done?
I have a drill like that, when i want ot use it I have to put the battery pack in, turn it on, turn off when Im done and put the battery pack on to charge.
mmm not usre here but I might be missing something ... | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:12:35 PM | | You should not feel used if you agreed to it. If agreed = yes, then enjoy and live with the consequences. If not agreed to it = no, then don't do it. You can try again later. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:54:45 PM | Great OPost!
If women are used for sex then men are used for relationships.  | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 4:06:17 PM | If a guy said to most women, "I only want sex. I'm going to get it tonight from you and then you will never hear from me again no matter how much we connect." And the sex is very good.
Still many women would never sleep with a guy knowing that this is all it's going to be. That's where the women are being used. Most guys know they can't score if she knows she is a one night thing for him or maybe 2,3(pick a number). And that's why many ladies feel used. And that's what it is. If some guys are so honest, tell her upfront that's all you want. If she accepts it, then she should deal with the consequences.(no judgement) | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 4:22:31 PM | The last fancy resturant I took a date too ~ she dropped her tray! ~ I got no sex ~ was it because I laugh at her?? I'll never know! ~ Did I use her? I don't think so?
It was just funny! if you can't get the sex ~ you should at least ~ get a laugh ~
If a woman says that she was used for sex ~ does that mean she didn't move??
what if you don't move ~ what does that mean? ~
Truthfully ~ women love sex ~ my friend ~ but sex is only three letters
and there is much ,much more to it. ~ Just to start you can apply the "Five W"
who
what
when
where
why
Get these covered and then you might have a discussion. ~dar | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:47:33 PM | "I only want sex. I'm going to get it tonight from you .."
"Get it tonite from her?" Wow, sounds like Count Dracula!!
Men "get" sex from women?
Women "give" sex to men?
Something is rotten in the Kingdom of Denmark!!!!! And it stinks!
Please open the windows! | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/7/2007 11:46:04 AM |
If a guy said to most women, "I only want sex. I'm going to get it tonight from you and then you will never hear from me again no matter how much we connect." And the sex is very good.
I don't think you'll ever hear that from a guy looking to score.He would never get anywhere with most women so he's either going to outright lie and promise her the moon and stars,to which if he does this,then yes,in my opinion he has used her for sex.Yet most guys I know(and this is the approach I always used and never felt bad about it),l leave it up in the air with,"I don't know where this is going,but it feels great now,how about we go with the flow and see what happens."Not promising anything,but not ruling out the possibility of something long term down the line.
That way,it's left open and the decision to have sex or not is mutually agreed and no one is let on.Back when I was running around and single,even if I was 99% sure that I was not hooking up with the woman later,I kept the possibility open for an LTR,because you never know,one night stands have turned into marriages for some folks. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/7/2007 1:51:02 PM | | As long as you think of sex as something you GIVE, you can't help but feel that you've been used for sex when the encounter isn't followed by what you think should come next( a phone call, flowers, being asked out again...etc) But sex is something to be had and not given . We say i'm having sex and not giving sex with HAVE implying receiving or getting. When two people engage in a sexual act they're both receiving without anyone giving. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 10/7/2007 3:15:57 PM |
If a man takes a woman out for dinner and doesn't call her the next day or dumps her we never hear the woman say, "He used me for dinner." Or if the man takes the woman to a movie and doesn't continue the relationship the woman doesn't say, "He used me for a movie."
. . . . love ya analogies . . .
When it comes to sex and a woman says she was used . . . .
Simple . . . she does not/is not taking responsibility for her actions . . . she fails to take responsibility for her role in the matter!
Lots of women will argue, “ . . . but he played me . . .” or “There were no red flags . . . he was a great guy.” . . . GOOD or BAD . . . it was her choice . . . the guy did not force her . . . no one put a gun to her head . . . (that is rape and not the subject here) . . .
LIFE is not fair . . . we will be screwed in more ways than one . . . we can blame and fail to learn or we can take the bad experiences and not only make us wiser . . . but also teaches us to appreciate the good things (including men/women) in life. . . . To EACH their own!!!
I say . . . . LIVE and LEARN and MOVE-ON!
Best of luck to all,
~Myth~ | |
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