| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:54:54 AM | | marol my point...because you refuse to have sex two people lose,the guy who is looking for a close human touch and the woman.if they would have had sex, might have been the greatest thing she ever had... but because she won't no she's never going to know... both people lose! | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:57:27 AM | I have been in situations that I really liked a woman ... but sex was terrible and not a turn on.
What am I expected to do?? I don't have a control over turning cold ... and can't really do it for the team again .. can I ?
I wouldn't say she got used for sex ... I'd say .... she got dumped because of sex. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:10:37 AM | | eowin, you nailed it right there! Exactly! I was with a guy for 9 months... I LIKED him.. I think I LOVED him...but he kept saying that he "needed time"... "afraid of committment since his divorce (FOUR years ago!)". I bought it all because I really enjoyed being with him. He would go away for weekend fishing trips and bike rallies... always left me behind, even though I begged to be included.. and would call me on his way home on Sunday evening, to set up his Sunday night f**k. I just kept thinking that if I was patient enough, and sweet enough, someday he would let go of his "fears" and fall in love with me, too. I finally pulled my head out of my a** on New Years Day, and broke up with him. And, yes.. I do feel used. I was his unpaid whore for 9 months... I would love to send him a bill. But, yes, it was my own choice... and I am sorry now that I acted so stupidly for so long. He wasn't even a good lover. Thought that because he like to eat p***y and had a big d**k, that made him quite a Romeo... HA! Girls, if you in a relationship with a man and you are feeling like...on his part... it is for sex only, just make sure it is EXCELLENT sex. That way, at least you will get SOMETHING out of it! | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:32:08 AM | | POST TO KITTYCAT thank you for being honest saying it was your choice,but now you know the warning sign's!!!! and i agree make sure it's excellent sex.but sex is like everything else in life to get good at it you have to do it!!! You have to please your partner first! i wish all the luck in finding what your looking for! you keep going girl!!! | |
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marol
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Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 55 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:37:40 AM | | smallblock..stop personalising things | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:42:32 AM |
You have to please your partner first!
eeek.. what about mutual pleasing??? its not all about pleasing your partner.. its about being comfortable enough to please your partner and yourself at the same time.
Many women and i'm going with the latino mentality here are taught to please their man first.. even at their expense..
if your sick as a dog.. suck it up and please your man cause thats all that matters..
not a good way of thinking if you ask me. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:00:32 AM |
eeek.. what about mutual pleasing???
mutual pleasing happens only when both try to please the other... no other way.
haven't you read that somewhere ? the more you give, the more you receive. It works with sex too...
of course it's the prisonner dilemna. I will be cheated if i try to giive him pleasure but him don't give too me.
I am sure you can discuss that with your partner, i'm sure he is not completely dumb and can understand | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:36:54 AM | ok.. but if your trying hard to please someone all the while thinking this sucks.. no matter what you do.. its not gonna be all that..
my thinking is this.. for me personally.. I won't sleep with just anyone.. first off.. If i'm gonna sleep around the only thing i'm gonna miss is a possible STD.. I think people need to have a little restraint and self respect when it comes to sexual relationships..
if your not feeling it.. why the heck go there to make someone else happy?? where do you come into the equation?? | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:43:48 AM | yes, dacainaru, it is assumed that your are balanced enough. If you spend your time intellectualizing the stuff, better leave it. Should be something you naturaly want to do as simply as it is.
i guess that self respect is a prerequisite, like respect of the other.
We are not speaking of forced sex ! | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:52:28 AM |
mutual pleasing happens only when both try to please the other... no other way.
If you tuned mentally and mind needs to be nurtured and charged... physical pleasing unfolds spontaneously and selflessly.  | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:56:39 AM | I second Bee's wise words
GOOD sex is in both heads. if that exists, no one gets "used" | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 62 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:57:32 AM | | The only time men treat women like a blow up doll ... is when they hate each other and I am sure .. both know it too | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:59:01 AM | I never said anything about forced sex.. but we are talking about women feeling used... a lot of the time women feel like they "Have" to have sex..
Having sex is a natural desire.. i'll agree.. yet my natural desire isn't to have sex with any shmoe that offers himself to me... why cause yup I respect my needs and wants which equals self respect.. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:17:16 AM | I don't see the point in charades either ... if getting laid is all your looking for, then why not just say so?  | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:18:44 AM | Lots of good replies with a noteworthy mention to Taurus, post 25. "It's like buying a 747 to get free peanuts." 
Let's look at a few scenarios.
1. A guy suggests a Saturday evening date which includes a movie and dinner.
2. A guy suggests a Sunday drive in the country and perhaps stopping at a roadside stand for a burger and fries.
3. There's a country auction taking place 1.5 hours out of town. Auction starts at 11AM so he suggests picking you up around 8:30 and grabbing some breakfast on the way there.
The strange thing is that he is of slim stature. Would you entertain the idea he doesn't like to eat alone and is using you for dining company? After all, every date includes food. Breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Let's say it was a movie and back to your place for sex. And the next day, Sunday, a country drive and back to his place for sex. And the following Saturday he shows up early for a little early morning delight before heading to the auction. Would that be considered using one for sex? | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 66 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:26:13 AM | Women know when it is a hook up and not a date
Women also know when they are being made love to or just boinked
Don't try to tell us otherwise | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:31:11 AM |
Women know when it is a hook up and not a date
yup thats usually when they 1. ask for it up front..2. have "intimate encounter" on their profile 3. ask sexually related questions within 2 mins of meeting you. 3. tell you hey how are you how's about a little f--k?
Women also know when they are being made love to or just boinked
yup usually when the guy rolls off of you and says.. "well its been nice, i've gotta get home my wife will be worried about me."
and guys can tell if they are being made love to or just being boinked.. cause the women under them is either sleeping, balancing out her check book or making a grocery list.. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:33:22 AM | These smilies are messed Lol ^
Here's a thought ... people always talk about waiting before having sex, BUT, what happens if after 2 months (or whatever) of waiting, it turns out to be the biggest let down because he isn't exactly fulfilling his um, duties, so to speak ... the minute man thing for example and regularly.
Who's using whom then, when all is reversed and the woman wants out? | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 69 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:36:50 AM | yup thats usually when they 1. ask for it up front..2. have "intimate encounter" on their profile 3. ask sexually related questions within 2 mins of meeting you. 3. tell you hey how are you how's about a little f--k?
Well ... i was thinking .. when a man says ... lets meet at my place for an intimate dinner .. you'd know it's a hook up.
yup usually when the guy rolls off of you and says.. "well its been nice, i've gotta get home my wife will be worried about me."
Well ... I thought ... total lack of passion during sex would be a good give away.
Didn't know women were so naive that we had to spit it out ...
and guys can tell if they are being made love to or just being boinked.. cause the women under them is either sleeping, balancing out her check book or making a grocery list..
That would be a good give away | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:39:55 AM |
(Msg 4) I wouldn't have sex if I didn't want to have sex. If I have sex with someone and I never hear from them again, what am I to determine?
A.) Said sex was apparently not even memorable.
B.) Said sex MAY have been good enough for "the moment", but no need for another moment.
C.) Said sex was mind blowing, d i c k throbbing, loin exploding spectacular, exquisite sex! So much so, my poor body can't bear to have it with you again...
and post 6:
But if a man took a woman out to dinner
they went home and had sex. It was great. He never called again.What would you call that?
If you were dating a guy for a few weeks and he breaks up with you after the first time you cook dinner for him would you believe he was just with you until he tasted your cooking? The point is there will be a first time for everything. A movie. A dance. A dinner. Does it always mean he just hung in there for the sex or is it possible the guy wanted to see if his feelings changed after he has sex before he decided to end the relationship? | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 71 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:43:09 AM |
If you were dating a guy for a few weeks and he breaks up with you after the first time you cook dinner for him would you believe he was just with you until he tasted your cooking? The point is there will be a first time for everything. A movie. A dance. A dinner. Does it always mean he just hung in there for the sex or is it possible the guy wanted to see if his feelings changed after he has sex before he decided to end the relationship?
You are a wise man ... Dave | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:48:31 AM |
(Msg 68) people always talk about waiting before having sex, BUT, what happens if after 2 months (or whatever) of waiting, it turns out to be the biggest let down because he isn't exactly fulfilling his um, duties, so to speak ... the minute man thing for example and regularly. Who's using whom then, when all is reversed and the woman wants out?
Excellent question! I'm looking forward to the responses. Meanwhile, I'll have my regularly scheduled afternoon nap. Back in a bit.  | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:02:47 AM |
it turns out to be the biggest let down because he isn't exactly fulfilling his um, duties, so to speak
hmmm well being a creative person.. if I really like the man I was with..if I was truely feeling "into" him.. thats when you pull out the stops and get freaky with the books, toys and videos..
come on.. people can learn to be better lovers.. its when you find a great lover whose turns out to be an ass that its a real problem. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 74 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:17:10 AM | Dave I think My real problem with yout OP is that you equate sex to food, and movies, and while for a guy this may be the same diff..lol but for most or the majority of women sharing sex with some one is much more intimate than sharing dinner or a movie. (Not all woman...and most likely those are the women that will never say I have been used for sex.)
So if I enter into a sexual relationship with a man...and he has no other desire to do anything but have sex with me and thats obvious I would never say I was used. However if a man intentially made me think that he cared about me in order to get sex...only sex...then that is being used. WFT is the point....why play with someones emotions like that go pay for it on the street haha isn't that so much less effort and most likely abargin in the end haha. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 75 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:19:41 AM | books, toys and videos.. mean nothing
Sexuality has to come from within | |
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