| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:45:15 AM | | I've always thought that phrase "used" as odd, at best. The moon was right, the song set the mood, the heat of the moment consumed, yet, if that moment is not attempted to be recaptured, or cannot be recreated, and the ships sail off, one party feels "used"??? Makes no sense, except for maybe someone trying to restore some vague notion of "virtuosity". Give it a break. You succumbed to the most primal urge of all, and hopefully it was enjoyed. It is in the court of the two participants on how the volleys are returned, or if the game ends "1 - Love". | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:45:32 AM | Sexuality has to come from within
agreed but doesnt mean you can't learn how to be better at it..
people have varying degrees of sexuality..now if the person isn't willing to learn a few new tricks then you would have to see if your heart outweighs your sex drive. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:59:03 AM |
It is in the court of the two participants on how the volleys are returned 
Senses on stand-by, keeping eye on body language and tuning into 'serving & charging'.
No winners, no losers but glowing moments in participants | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 80 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:06:03 PM | I got used for sex, then again if I didn't want sex, I would of left.
I know her only reason for meeting me and inviting me over was to get laid, and well I know I was lied too, as for a reason to get me there.
I'm the only one to blame for it. I also see a lot of women on here who put worth and stuff in front of everything else, which in all is a total shame. As I thought women had more respect for themself | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:06:49 PM | Spot-on? Thank you.
Must be the "rubbing thing" in right places  | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:09:46 PM | True enough, but honestly, some are just flat out terrible at it.  and let's face it, if I'm having better and intense sex all alone, well ... | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:12:52 PM | | I must be living on my own planet because I rarely dated women I hadn't slept with first...life's too short to have a bad date...why waste your Friday night? | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 84 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:13:35 PM | True enough, but honestly, some are just flat out terrible at it. and let's face it, if I'm having better and intense sex all alone, well ...
Ahhh .. PHU - LEASE
you can't have better sex by yourself. Maybe you can reach orgasm better and faster.
You don't think a man can out orgasm the best blow job by masturbation?
That's never the point .... | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:14:41 PM |
if I'm having better and intense sex all alone, well ...
Sorry to contradict mafiakitty...nothing compares to 'fused' and shared... by two mortal | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:23:09 PM | | buzz--gotta agree with you...while taking matters in to your hands may provide a temporary fix, nothing, and I repeat nothing, matches the melding of two bodies fully intent on seeking sexual nirvana. Nothing, nothing, compares to looking deeply in to the eyes of your partner and seeing they are sharing the extasy coursing thru your "connection". | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:24:58 PM | | How fast an orgasms reached wasn't my point ... I only meant that if there's zero sizzle in the sex, then why bother ... | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:28:28 PM | | I couldn't agree more, but in all fairness I think that's a different topic entirely. The comment was regarding my original post above ... | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 89 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:29:24 PM | @ buzzingbee ... Re: Kong and slightly off topic
Here is an hairy APE who speaks like you .... go for it girl  | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:33:24 PM | Women use men for sex too, but they never feel used. i suspect that the women whio feel used for sex had dissatisfying sex, or they had sex when they really wanted love, or worse, they mistook sex for love. i have no such deluisions, being a confimed nympho and all. ;) | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:41:57 PM | | Ya i was used for massages and on just giving this lady oral. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:45:17 PM | | I think that when a woman says she " was used for sex ", she is indicating that she thought it would lead to something much more ( the thing that she reall wanted ), which is love and a relationship. Men would either pretend to want a relationship and to " love " the girl, so that he can get regular sex from her. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:05:52 PM | Well it seems the general feeling is that when men have sex with the women the first time and it is a no repeat, it is being used for sex.
but what about when sex is really, really good and it is done on a regular basis, would it still be viewed as used for sex,
to quote an old song
If it feels that good being used why don't you use me up | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 95 | |
| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 2:15:54 PM | but what about when sex is really, really good and it is done on a regular basis, would it still be viewed as used for sex,
No .. I don't think so
That would be ... a couple of consenting adults ... acting like grown ups  | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 3:08:54 PM | (Msg 73) come on.. people can learn to be better lovers.. its when you find a great lover whose turns out to be an ass that its a real problem.
If you mean it's easier to change how a person enjoys sex compared to changing their general behavior I have to disagree. As another poster stated although we live in a society where almost all sexual acts are legal very few are accepted/embraced by others. I feel a person's lovemaking, their actual enjoyment and participation in sex, is something that is deep rooted.
We are taught to cover our bodies from the time we are babies. We are dissuaded from discussing our bodies with anyone, family or strangers. Our sexual preferences are something that become ingrained because of that. It's like having no one to tell/show us that a certain way of thinking or behaving is right or wrong. All we know is sex is something that is not to be discussed. It is to be hidden. From puberty, when sexuality becomes apparent, until we meet our partner, say at 18 or 20 years of age, our view of sex becomes instilled in us. Coupled with the "morality" factor I feel it's very difficult to change one's sexual preferences and still have them enjoy it. Lastly, it is a biological drive. It's like trying to convince a person they are hungry when they are not.
Being an ass is not an innate drive (although sometimes it may appear that way). Attempting to change a person who's rude or inconsiderate is not the same as attempting to change something they associate with morality. It is not uncommon for some people to feel uncomfortable simply being naked in front of their partner. Attempting to change such a person's views/appreciation of lovemaking is a daunting task. That is why I maintain discovering a couple's sexual compatibility is of the utmost importance. It is much more complicated than training someone to hold the door if, in fact, it's possible. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 3:38:35 PM | | I don't know anyone who gets used for sex. Some of my friends think sex is just an activity. They probably like sex more than some guys I know.. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 3:41:10 PM | | kellie you right and hot too but as I say no one put a gun to these girls or guys head for sex unless he crazy or her that a different story legally. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 3:44:50 PM |
(Msg 74) However if a man intentially made me think that he cared about me in order to get sex...only sex...then that is being used.
I don't feel most men deliberately try to fool the woman. I think it comes down to a woman believing that when sex happens a relationship is already a given whereas a man will not decide there is a relationship until they have sex. If they leave after sex it does not mean the sex was the only reason they left. It could very well mean they were undecided and the sex didn't persuade them.
For example, you may have feelings for someone but you are not 100% sure. Through dating you see how the person reacts in different situations. Let's say you are of the belief you do not introduce your prospective partner to your parents until you are reasonably sure that is the one for you. If you are close to your family, introduce the person and they are inconsiderate or in some way disrespect your parents you may overlook the incident and figure, over time, they will get along IF you were already committed. If you weren't 100% committed that may be the event that breaks the relationship. It doesn't mean your partner has to pass the "family test" but he better have a lot going for him if he doesn't. I feel that's the way many men look at sex. It's not the only thing but a woman better have a hell of a lot going for her if she scores low on that. | |
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| Used for sex?
Posted: 1/11/2006 4:06:24 PM | | When a women, says she is used for sex, it seems she is usually bitter about the fact that, the man did not want a more serious relationship. A lot of men lie, and sure they will use a woman for sex, but on the other hand, if some women did not use sex as a relationship trap, then they wouldn't feel used for sex. People just need to be honest about what they want, and they need to stop playing games for what they want. If I want an apple, I will not ask for an orange, I will ask for an apple! I would like to think adults could engage in sex, without all of the "high school drama". | |
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net is very very slippery and I do tend to digress quite easily. And as I noticed I'm not alone...slipping