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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 11:56:48 AM | MR GORDON GECKO - i m not a bald rich man but i do see ur point and i agree only because if i was rich i wouldnt want kids either ill date someone with kids cause we break up all the kids and stuff go away and then i dont have to pay support lol
but some ppl want to act like money is nothing. if i was rich i would pay off college education, get my mom out the ghetto, open an art gallery but i am not rich.
anyone wants a companion for sex or a connection or conversation or whatever
and you can be a good person with or without money.
ironic thing is ppl wnat money yet if they see someone with money they assume that person is bad or**** or concieted whatever but hey every one still want money.
if i had 5 dollars right now i go get me a sandwhich lol
so i think anything you said wasn't wrong cause if i was rich i would say the same damn thing
becuse there are two views to this simple queston of marring someone rich. and its deeper then just yes or no
lets be honest most women rather date a man who is rich who is caring understing and funny instead of the same man on freakin SSI who doesnt really need it hes just lazy oh yea but a good guy ..............whatever
rich good guy any day lol | |
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D3nis3
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Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 777 | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 2:49:43 PM | | vivid: Obviously some people have their values bass ackwards. Money is not freedom and just because you can go buy yourself a plane ticket to anywhere, if your not happy what's the point in it? There are maaaaany lonely, sad, bitter, tainted and angry people out there who are wealthy. Ambition and success don't mean a fat wallet and a condo in some concrete jungle... I'll choose to stay in my "small town" away from pretentious and shallow city hearts. Gladly!!! | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:14:16 PM | I can honestly answer this question...I have had a chance to marry two men ...one was a millionaire..and one a billionaire......both were so goodhearted....but somewhat possessive....I liked both of them..I am still friends with one....but I just couldnt marry someone knowing I wasnt in love with them....
I believe in love everlasting...true love....
One even said..if I wasnt happy after a year..I could keep my savings account...and car....that he was gonna buy me.....but I really cared deeply for him.....and well. he deserved...
a woman who dearly loves him.....as he would her.....and it just wouldnt be fair....
Free_Spirit.......
for me......only love.....true...honest....deeply passionate LOVE...... | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:09:21 PM |
I didn't say the male lion was out there bringing home the bacon. I said his appeal is his strength and HIS GENES. Since hes the tough and strong lion, his genes are predisposed to produce lions just like him. Future tough and strong lions who will follow in their fathers footsteps. Yes the male lion does not have to hunt for food, because he provides a COMMODITY that negates his need to hunt for food. The female lions desire his good GENES enough to hunt for him.
Your genes have nothing to do with money unless of course you inherit it.
The female lions know nothing about genes. They're just mating with whoever's there.
Lionesses also eat their young, so what do we know?
When a woman mates with a man and desires to procreate, you think she doesn't account for his GENES? The issue of disability/handicap or mental illness through genes? The disposition to be tall or short? The disposition to be handsome like their father was? The disposition to be strong and healthy like good old dad? The disposition to be intelligent and be a good provider?
I would think that any liberated woman worth her salt would procreate with whoever makes her happy. Not who's the tallest, richest, etc.
As for the issue of divorce, some people (included noted scientists and researchers) have argued MARRIAGE ITSELF IS NOT NATURAL. The idea of one man and one woman together monogamously for an extended period of time. And maybe its not, then again that sure would explain the divorce rate to some degree wouldn't it?
Certain animals mate and stay together for life.
As for me looking for a 'trophy wife', you know what? I respect your right to your opinion and your pursuit of whatever makes you happy on this short time on Earth. I'll never begrudge another man that. But I think many men have it all wrong about the money/sex/dating equation.
I begrudge men who see women as potential pieces of property and feel that their wealth makes them more deserving of a woman's love than anyone else.
Hey, if you want to use your wealth to chase after women go ahead. You'll end up paying through the nose for it someday. They 'aint all dumb bimbos.
If you want a very good looking young healthy fertile woman, you are going to have to compete to get her. Thats just reality.
I'll somewhat agree. I'm not going to use my money to do it though. If she's gonna decide to be with a guy simply because he makes more money that I do, then I don't want her.
Plenty of other guys want her too.
Not always.
This explains why in high schools, all the guys wanted to nail the same ten girls.
I didn't want to nail them.
Who tends to get the girls in high school? Athletes, often successful ones. Those who are popular socially. Those with money. Those who might be the first to have their own vehicle.
You have a point. That's not always the case, but yeah, girls will often go after those guys.
Because they like them as people?
No. Because they simply want to gain and maintain popularity.
He just wants to bang her.
They are using each other.
That's unnatural and immoral and has a lot to do with why our culture is so royally mucked up!
THOSE WHO SET THEMSELVES AS UNIQUE FROM THE PACK.
What about being smart, funny, interesting, compassionate? You only think in terms of wealth and status. It's classist.
So to get the highly desired woman, you are gonna have to spend.
If I have to spend simply to "get" her (see, the whole women as property thing), I don't want to be with her.
Spend financially or emotionally or timewise or all three, but it will cost you. Thats the cost of outcompeting the other males after her. If a girl has that many options, how can you realistically hope to get her without outcompeting all the other guys who want to nail her? What you see in movies about the poor dumb sweet guy getting the babe is just movie magic. Happens but not very often. More power to the those rare souls who do get that.
God, you're almost Satanic in your worldview. Your social darwinism sickens me.
Yes some women are golddiggers. But they arent golddiggers just because they want your money. They are golddiggers because they want your MONEY WITHOUT ANY EXCHANGE OF VALUE ON THEIR PART. Plenty of rich guys have no problem supporting women financially as long as they feel that they are getting something of value ( be it sex, be it company, be it conversation, be it ego stroking, be it prestige socially, etc etc) Thats why some very rich men have some decidely average looking wives. Those women know how to appeal to a rich mans sense of VALUE. Not his sense of wealth.
Thankfully not all women are like that. Do you have any concept of what it means to be human. You think of people as if they are commodities. That's very disturbing.
What do very rare and desired sports cars cost? A whole hell of lot of cash. Why? Because there aren't many of them and lots of people want them but can't afford them. The rarer something is, and the demand is there, the odds are you will have to spend well to get it. Look at the diamond industry. They are just rocks, but the demand, the monopoly on the supply and the rarity ( or supposed rarity) drives up the cost. Good looking young healthy women are in demand, there aren't as many of them around compared to the total number of women and they monopolize the commodity of who they decide to sleep with.
Again with the women-as-prizes thing. I almost can't believe you really feel this way. Are you being ironic?
WOMEN ARE HUMAN BEINGS!!! THEY ARE NOT OBJECTS TO BE BOUGHT!!!!
I personally, have no problem spending money to pursue and date young healthy good looking women who are potential long term mates.
Obviously.
Because I understand that while you or many others may not find VALUE in them, they in themselves will always be in demand and cost more to attain and keep around.
You can have 'em. You people deserve each other.
You dont get something for nothing in life.
You're right. After all, ya gotta work hard to buy that wife and outbid the other guys!!! It's like ebay!!!!
You can't just pretend that the numerous other suitors will just magically go away if you really want the girl. If you or others decide you either A) Will not bear the cost to pursue the highly desired women or B) Cannot bear the cost to pursue the highly desired women either way, I totally respect that.
I'm sure they are there. But if I have to spend all of my money on a woman just to get her to like me, then she's not worth my time.
I respect your life and your choices and your right to be happy with this life that is far too short. Just remember to RESPECT mine as well.
I'm sorry, I don't feel that I can respect them, no. I can't respect someone who views human beings as pieces of property and feels that their wealth makes them better people than others and entitles them to love more than someone else.
You know why? Because it leads to abuse. If you feel that a woman can be bought, then she is a thing, a sexual plaything that you own. And therefore you can treat her like you want. What if she wants to leave you, despite all of the things you've given her? Why do you think OJ killed his wife? He was rich, she was a trophy, he beat her, she wanted to leave him, he felt he owned her and didn't want anyone else to have her, so he murdered her.
Also,that kind of worldview is what drives our politics in this day and age and is why the gap between rich and poor keeps widening among other things. It's what fuels the war on working people, middle-class people, and the poor. It's what is used to justify tax cuts for the rich and none for the poor. "They are rich. They are special. They deserve to not have to share the burden. Poor and middle-class people are ordinary. They don't work hard enough."
Another thing, you're setting yourself up to be swindled. There's always a girl out there who's slicker than you.
So call me a Sugar Daddy if you want. I don't care. My electricity bill doesn't go up one cent and there are gonna be no sleepless nights because you, some stranger on the Internet, don't personally approve of me.
That's nice to know. Of course, if you weren't concerned, you wouldn't have felt the need to write your little capitalistic, social darwinist screed.
I see what I want and I pursue it relentlessly. If I have to spend to get it and I want it, so what, you die one day and that money means nothing in the grave. Now I do think people should be fiscally practical and spend within their means and be cautious of liability, but WE ALL DIE IN THE END, and so a rich guy who dies with his entire fortune in the bank screwed his life up. Because he didn't use that money to enrich his life and those he loved while he was still alive.
Yep, spend, spend, spend!!!! Being a good consumer is what makes us human right?
And guess what, the guy who knows what he wants and goes after what he wants has a good chance of getting the girl. WOMEN LOVE CONFIDENCE AND THEY LOVE THE CHASE.
And what courting have to do with being rich?
Oh, I forgot, women can be bought.
They want to know, especially the most desirable ones, that you want them and you will do what it takes to get them.
Like spend the most money on 'em. What if they still don't want you after all the stuff you bought them.
Men who don't want to spend on the most desired women as a practical choice are just practical guys, not everyone wants to spend or has the resources to spend. Men who think its offensive that they have to spend at all ( and not just money but time and effort and emotions) to get the most desired women just don't have any concept of value.
No, I do have a concept of value. I value people for who they are, not what they own or how much money they "earn".
Thats because they think they can get something for nothing. Or are upset because they can't.
Lots of rich people get something for nothing. They inherit their parent's money.
I never listen to what people say ( although there are good and decent and honest people in the world who can enrich your life, I will never deny that) but I watch what they do.
Good.
Theres a reason why young good looking healthy women date wealthy men.
'Cause they're lazy, opportunistic, and have no sense of self?
And who says all women like that date wealthy men?
Or do you think that blonde bombshell Nordic supermodel who married Tiger Woods would have done so if he was a busboy?
Probably not. But then again, I wouldn't want a woman like that. He'll be taken for a ride too.
Whether you think its fair or not, thats how it works, thats how the dating world works.
No, that's not how the dating world works necessarily. SOME women are money-hungry and lazy and feel that their looks entitle them to "something for nothing". Fortunately, not all women are that way.
Too many people get hung up whether its right or wrong, instead of just deciding whether they want to get in the game or not.
True. And it's also a big reason why this world is so screwed up. Criminals of all types, from the punk in the street to that Enron jerk who bilked his employees out of their life savings.
When I find something I want, something that means something valuable and powerful to my life, I just go after it with everything I've got. I spend what it takes to get what means something of value to me.
Good for you. 
If that means you want to label me 100 different things, go ahead.
Oh I will.
I can still respect your way of life even if you don't respect mine.
If you do, then tell your rich friends not to vote Republican.
Because my happiness is not contingent on your approval.
Nope. It's contingent on how fat your bank account is.
I have maybe 30 to 40 good years left on this Earth. I'm going to go after what I think will bring me happiness and make me a better man. I'll do anything to get it. So I can look back on my life with no regrets. Rich men don't fear they will die poor, when they die that money means nothing, they fear they will die before they have 'enriched' their lives to its fullest.
Wow. That sounds like something Anthony Robbins would say, or any other late-night, get-rich-quick, infomercial huckster for that matter.
Happy 4th to you iwarrior, I hope you find everything you hope and dream for in this life. Its just too bad though you can't seem to extend to me the same.
Go ahead. Make all the money you can spend. You just try to remember that people aren't things you can buy and sell. | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:02:31 PM |
What about being smart, funny, interesting, compassionate? You only think in terms of wealth and status. It's classist.
There was a nice quote from Brian DePalma's The Untouchables - "You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word. "
You can get further with being smart, funny, interesting, compassionate and rich than you can get with being all those things and not be rich. I'm not saying its fair, I'm not saying its right, I'm saying thats how the real world works.
I begrudge men who see women as potential pieces of property and feel that their wealth makes them more deserving of a woman's love than anyone else.
I don't see women as pieces of property. I see that some women set themselves apart from the pack. Some have a head start with their beauty, and some work hard and put themselves in a position to set themselves apart. Not everyone is Angelina Jolie, even beautiful women have to work at looking their best and maximizing what makes them appealing. If an already beautiful woman is willing to work out and take care of her diet and health to help her quality of life and possible attract a better mate but an overweight single mother waitress won't work out and can't find attract a better mate, whose fault is that?
Its too easy to say some are born with it and some are not. People work at it. Even womens talk shows do this, they take women out of the crowd and give them makeovers and show them how much more appealing they can make themselves to potential mates. Its true in life - if you do nothing, don't be surprised if you get nothing. Not everything falls into the laps of beautiful women at their whim, many have to work at their appeal. They have to work at maintaining their appeal. They have to work at improving their quality of life.
Can alot of women say that? The ones who cry and moan about no one wanting them? Can they say if finding a mate was so important that they did everything possible to improve their chances of finding a good mate? You won't find them sitting at home watching Oprah and eating Pringles. You want something in life, you go out and get it.
You're right. After all, ya gotta work hard to buy that wife and outbid the other guys!!! It's like ebay!!!!
When someone dreams of a career as a kid, what do they do? They pursue it with all their heart. Society, schools, their parents, their friends all encourage them to do what it takes, work as hard as they can to achieve that goal. If a kid wants to be a doctor, hes gonna have to sacrifice things to study, he might have to go to a far away school to get a better chance to get into medical school, he might have to work all night long in a crap job to pay for his tuition. But sometimes thats what a person has to do to get that dream career. You have to outcompete people, this is no secret.
When you apply for a job, the company weighs out your resume with everyone elses. If its a job you want, you have to find a way to improve your education or experience or contacts or whatever you can to be more competitive to get that highly desired job. The kids who are willing to work and put in the effort are often rewarded, the kids who don't are not. It is that simple.
Life is all about competition in all things. Fair? Unfair? Its just the way it is.
And dating is going to be any different?
Fortune favors the bold.
No, I do have a concept of value.
Do you? Because you want to push this 'money doesn't matter at all' vibe. And thats just , to be honest, naive. No its not the most important thing in life, but its pretty high up on the list. But go on, watch the thousands of hardworking people in America who are one paycheck away from poverty or the street and tell them how being 'smart, funny, interesting, and compassionate' will give their kids a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.
I never said money is everything, but you seem to want to push that money is nothing, and thats just not the truth.
Nope. It's contingent on how fat your bank account is.
I'm willing to spend, if you aren't, thats your right and I respect it. I don't care how much money I spend, one day I will die and all that green paper will mean nothing. But it only MEANS NOTHING WHEN YOU ARE DEAD, WHEN YOU ARE ALIVE IT CAN BUY YOU THE FREEDOM AND OPTIONS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE. This is true for all people, rich, middle class and poor alike. There are plenty of poor and middle class people who are misers, they don't spend a dime to improve their lives, to make themselves happy, to try to get some moderation between practicality and just enjoying life. You don't have to be 'rich' to be a miser. And just because you are rich doesn't automatically make you a miser.
Sorry man, I feel like you are the one who is angry about how money works within our society and the reality it plays in the dating world. I never said it was fair. I just said its the way life works. I dont care how you spend your money, although you seem to care a whole hell of a lot how rich guys spend their money on women. Just dont confuse YOUR issues with money with MY views on what money means to relationships, marriage and dating. My views are not invalidated because they don't mean your ingrained ideal of what you think they should be. | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:22:19 PM | Warrior,
Will you marry me????? 
OK, here's another two of my cents: I am getting the distinct impression here that somehow, there's this idea that a puffy bank account and the liberal financial wooing of a woman is what will somehow put flashing stars in her eyes (and her heart, and her woo-woo).
And what I'M trying to say is, money is.... 'nice.' That's it. Just 'nice,' if you have it. You know, kind of like the equivalent of - "Oh cool - this job offers me 4 weeks of vacation instead of 2 weeks at the other place." It's a perk. Nothing more, nothing less. But it's certainly NOT what you're going to base your decision on when looking for a job. (Now, mind you, I am not using the example of salary because - in most cases, women aren't looking for a salary - they already have one.)
As for high school - well, that's mostly hormonally influenced. Who the hell knows what they want and value at age 16? I sure didn't! I had some vague clue, but it was much longer before I really knew what I wanted in a man.
I can't speak for other women and what they are looking for, but I can tell you what I look for in a man, as an example.. it's not his "stuff" or what he can provide for me: (that may have been applicable in the olden days when women had no other means of support - but that wasn't about love - that was about survival.) - because do I love him or his "stuff?" What would happen if, by some bizarre circumstance, he were to lose all his "stuff?" Would I be expected to leave? Then I'm not really in love with HIM, am I? OK, i'm getting off the topic here...
What I look for in a man.. it's not even physical prowess, in fact, I'm not even attracted to athletic muscular types. Brad Pitt, to me, might as well be a slice of old bread. I prefer more the cute geeky types (eg. the guy from Scrubs or the curly headed dude from Numb3rs), or else the slightly rough-edged. I'm attracted to men who are passionate, insightful and intelligent thinkers. Visionaries. Mavericks, rebels, unconventionals. Independent and spontaneous with a great sense of humor. BUT - he must be spiritually/ethically/emotionally evolved. Creativity is a plus. We MUST have an 'eye' connection - so that when we look at each other, it lights us on fire internally. The sex is flammable. Integrity, integrity, integrity. If he's a liar, his a** is grass. I prefer that he not have bad breath. Goatees are a plus. Similar tastes in music are a definite plus. Someone I can talk to about anything in the world!!! Someone who can keep up with the labyrynthian adventures my mind likes to take.
Yeah.. are you starting to see how, like, 3 carat diamond earrings are not gonna do it for me? Like I said.. if I REALLY wanted them, I'd GET THEM FOR MYSELF!!!
The idea that money is the most important attractor for a woman is both faulty and dangerous. If men truly believe that, they don't really have to develop any character, do they?
I guess, to each his own. Gordy, I know you said that you go by what you see, not by what people say. Well, we all do. Each person's lens of reality is colored by that individual's belief system. We all see different parts of the same elephant, as they say. Maybe it's time for a paradigm shift. | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:49:23 AM | I guess, to each his own. Gordy, I know you said that you go by what you see, not by what people say. Well, we all do. Each person's lens of reality is colored by that individual's belief system. We all see different parts of the same elephant, as they say. Maybe it's time for a paradigm shift.
mystykchyk,
I think part of the problem is the issue of money is often the pink elephant in the room. Its there, its an issue, but no one feels comfortable talking about it.
Try this -
You go to a party with a bunch of strangers. Whats the first thing they ask? You know what it is -
What do you do for a living?
They want to know what you do because its an informal way to gauge where you compare socio economically with that person. But you know what? No one really asks, right after the first question -
How much do you make doing what you do for a living?
Anyone find that odd?
That people do care about issues of money but they also care about not wanting to look like its important. But it is important. Thats the contradiction, thats the part people get befuddled on.
No woman is going to date you or stay with you ( well not many ) if you can't pay the rent, keep food on the table and keep the lights on.
But society says its rude to talk about money , its impolite, its not good to discuss it in many ways. I fail to see how that makes any sense at all. Money is a huge part of your quality of life, rich or poor. Its a huge part of how you can protect and provide for those you love and hold dear.
I grew up as an orphan. I don't think money is everything. I'd give up every cent I had right now to go back 30 years in time and have two parents in my life, rich or poor, who wanted to love and guide me. I would have liked that alot. But sometimes life doesn't give you what you want or even need, you just have to make the best out of it. So I appreciate a young beautiful vibrant healthy woman who is making an effort to improve her quality of life. Things don't always come easy to good looking women. But plenty of jealous women want to rag on them, calling them bimbos and sluts and gold diggers simply because rich guys are attracted to them.
Has anyone ever considered that alot of rich guys out there don't inherit it, they work hard, they suffer, they bleed for their money like everyone else? So why shouldn't they appreciate someone who appears to work hard and makes an effort to make a pleasant and attractive appearance? You don't have to be a supermodel to look good, plenty of women here could arguably do alot more to look better. And not just to attract men, but for themselves. When you take care of yourself, you are making a statement about how you feel about yourself, your own sense of self worth, your own sense of self confidence. Its not just a message to men, its a message to yourself.
Women say, why should I have to work out to attract a man? Why can't he accept me for me? Well I say, why cant you work out for yourself, for you own life, and that you happen to attract more men is a by product of doing something positive for yourself? Even if you didn't want men, working out would decrease your risk for many health issues including diabetes and heart disease.
Many rich men go the extra mile in their professional lives, I don't think its a big surprise that many of them will be attracted to women who go the extra mile in their own lives.
Its just too easy for people, too easy for them to write off rich people as if everything you see on TV and the movies is true. We are not all Scrooge McDuck. We are not all heartless materialistic **stards. Many of us give to charity and give our time and efforts to protect those who work for us. Last year I paid for the entire medical cost of expensive and complicated operations on two disadvantaged children whose parents did not have medical insurance. I didn't do it because I wanted to be the big man or wanted lavish praise from parents everywhere. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. Because I knew when I was a kid, and I was in that spot, I wished someone would do it for me. And I was gonna spend whatever it took to get those kids healthy. You think I was trying to buy those kids? Lots of rich guys do this kind of stuff. We just don't always talk about it. The same mentality that makes me give to children is the same that tells me if I like a girl, I'll spend to show her a good time and make her feel safe and cared for. You take the good with the bad.
Whether you are rich or poor, if you see something you want and you go after it, it will cost you. Maybe a little money, maybe some time, maybe a ton of effort. Not all the things that 'cost' you in life is just about money. But I think thats ok, things worth having and people worth having in your life don't come easy. Thats why they are worth something in the first place. | |
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AlexSB
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Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 785 | |
| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:53:34 AM | Would I marry someone? No...but I'm a man...so i'm not sure if that makes a difference or not...
I would I marry someone if I was rich? Who had zero interest in me, outside of money???
Depend on my situation...
Probably not, because it's more cost effective to hire a hooker and less greif and so forth...
But who knows, some women are excellent actors and make you feel like the shit, but secretly think of you as "the shit" quite literally... | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 11:38:47 AM | ok i got 2 cents ok well i dont lol
anyways ppl are making good and bad points on here and IWARRIOR i see your point about a woman wanting a man only for money .........yea its wrong.
or buying a womans love ..............its wrong but it works sad to say
but its rare to find a man who has his life together who is motivated enough to not just work at burger king
its not always about his bank account but the fact hes not just some dude pumping gas for the rest of his life drinkin natural ice beer lol
i m not materialistic but damn right i dont want to date a freakin bum. or someone who is happying being broke.
i mean i am not in college to end up at freakin turkey hill or date someone who works there lol
but mr gordon gecko obviously wants more then that bombshell because hell is on this damn site when in CA there are plenty of hotties there.
i know physical attraction is key i wont deny that
but there has to be more to it i mean all caus some hottie goes to a gym doesnt mean she is the best one or whatever and all because a women is curvy or thick or full figure doesnt mean she doesnt deserve someone attractive someone good in her life .
i mean i am just kinda wondering MR GORDON GECKO your just coming off a bit superficial which is fine to a degree.
but if you found a great girl of low income and but just avergae lookin not a bombshell woudl u be seen with her? cause seems like you wouldnt | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 8:11:51 PM | No way...I could care less how much money someone has....there is an old song by Ralph Tresvant from New Edition
Money cant buy you love,
cant buy you happiness
true love can bring....
point said right there
Money is only helpful with the materialistic world...not compatibility or love....whoever thinks differently...is headed down the wrong road | |
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vivid
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 788 | |
| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 8:27:48 PM |
Obviously some people have their values bass ackwards. Money is not freedom and just because you can go buy yourself a plane ticket to anywhere, if your not happy what's the point in it?
Money is NOT freedom??!?? WTF?? I went on 3 vacations in 13 months and I'm
going on another in January for 8 weeks. If laying on the most gorgeous beach
in the world and literally laughing with joy!...is not freedom I can't imagine what is.
I literally laughed with joy!!! If I had a broke ass and stuck in the city worrying about
paying my bills I doubt I'd be happy and laughing. I doubt I'll find ANY joy in
that....and if I am indeed blind and can't appreciate the beauty of staying
home year round then I don't want my eye's to ever be opened. Values ass backwards? So be it! I'll remember that in January. | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 8:33:04 PM | Just because you can go places, because of someone else's money dont mean that you should marry them for that reason alone...if you love them for them, then thats great, but just cause they got lots of cash is no reason to marry them...."money is the root to all eveil"...you marry for love, not for riches... | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 8:37:14 PM | | Not in a million years. There is not enough money in the world to make me live miserable in my personal life. I have to have some one to talk to and confide in, love, trust, and care about...since I can't find that I would rather be alone....honestly. | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 8:38:38 PM | This is funny; I mean downright hilarious! Nobody here would marry for money, but every one of them wouldn't date somebody who's unemployed... what a joke. Must be a fine line somewhere, I suppose; between the outter limits and the twilight zone | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:03:51 PM | I won't speak for women in general but I will speak for myself in response tou your input.
No I would not be crazy about the idea of becominginvolved with someone who was volentarily unemployed. Losing your job is different then being a bum and I simply want to be happy. I am not gonna be happyif I am slaving away to support the whole family becuase my husband wont work and I would not be happy with a husband who didnt give a crap about me either. | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 11:37:04 PM | Eeeesh. Let's try this again, LOL!
Imho, most women don't go searching for rich men - looking to hook some guy simply because he's rich. HOWEVER, it doesn't mean that they don't give a crap and will simply settle for anything either.
Personally, when I say that I don't go around comparing my prospects based on their bank accounts - that doesn't mean that I'm looking to hook up with Joe Burger-flipper. It means that money is really a non-issue for me. It only becomes an issue if it HAS to be - for instance, if I find myself on a date with a guy who tells me he's a burger-flipper - THEN I have to question, well, why? What's the reason behind it? Which is every bit as important - if he's working through school, or such; but if it's because he doesn't care about himself or his life - then that's a problem, because that is not in line with my own value system. So, really, it's still not a matter of money, but rather, values.
And yes, Gord, I agree with you when you say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who is willing to work hard, do well in life, take care of themselves. This is as it should be. I never said that there is anything WRONG with money. There is nothing wrong having a lot of money, or wanting to make a lot of money. Or even hoping that the person you meet will have money. What I disagree with is marrying someone for the SAKE of money... money as the basis for a marriage.
Of course, some people choose lifelong singlehood, or lifelong sexual abstinence, celibacy.. such as priests. They don't get to truly experience love either. I suppose I find it disappointing, that someone would desecrate what is meant to be a sacred union between two people for the purposes of money. This is simply my own point of view, I know that I may sound idealistic, but this is my own personal truth as I live it. I would simply rather not marry at all, than marry for anything else.
And something else... since we were talking about what we "see" day to day.. you did mention that you are an attorney, Gordon. That you see plenty of gruesome divorce cases, if I remember correctly. It doesn't come as any surprise to me then, that one would be jaded as a result. My best friend from back east is a divorce attorney as well, with her own firm. She's not too optimistic about the institution of marriage either. But I'd like to share something that people here may find unusual.. a peek into the 'other' side...
My ex-husband and I were together since we were 18. Got married at age 22, got divorced 10 years later at age 32. It has been 7 years since then. I have known him for over twenty years. While getting a divorce was painful, we remained from the very start of it because we decided it would be the best thing for the kids if we were able to handle it maturely. We didn't use an attorney, we handled the divorce papers ourselves. We went out of our way to be generous with each other, as we genuinely cared that the mother/father of our children would be okay. Although we remained friends afterwards, our friendship since then has only strengthened as the pain of the divorce wore off. I still go to my ex-in law's for dinner every single Sunday. Went to my ex husb's for bbq for july 4th. We treat each other like the family we still ARE: he is my children's father, I am his children's mother. I need house repairs, he offers before i even ask. He has given me $1800 to pay taxes when i couldn't afford it, bailed me out countless times when I was hard up, put money into my bank account without telling me. I have picked things up for him, spent hours cleaning his bathroom when he was working too hard to be doing it himself, etc etc. We talk every day. And you know what??? There is absolutely NOTHING 'going on' between us. Nothing except pure platonic/siblinglike friendship. I know I can count on him, depend on him, trust him with my very life. He is my family.
Most people have a hard time understanding our relationship. It's virtually unheard of to have such a great post-divorce friendship. Often people will insist that there's GOTTA be something there, or they ask why we're not together. I see it differently. I think it's a crying shame that it should be any other way (especially when there are children involved - I can't begin to tell you how wonderful this has been for my kids - they, after all, are the first priority). So, love - and I'm not talking about simply romantic love here, I'm talking about higher love - being able to love fearlessly, fiercely, forgive, with an iron core inner strength - kindness, compassion, these too are core values for me. Money, yes- a plus. But not among the top 10 things I look for. What I look for seems to be a far more rare commodity. | |
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| Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/7/2006 5:21:01 PM | i mean i am just kinda wondering MR GORDON GECKO your just coming off a bit superficial which is fine to a degree.......but if you found a great girl of low income and but just avergae lookin not a bombshell woudl u be seen with her? cause seems like you wouldnt
Sure I would. A good person is a good person. I fundamentally believe there are very few truly good people in this life, so if you find them, for friends or otherwise, you cherish those relationships.
The reason I'm here instead of out on one of the beaches is I've tried conventional tactics, and while they work, they are generally very slow.
You meet someone in a grocery store or at the gym or at a friends party, you know nothing about them. They might be single. But they also might be out of a long relationship or have major commitments like school or family. They might have dealbreakers that rule you out, that you don't find out about until later. It often takes time to elicit these things. And issues like smoking and wanting children can be tricky to bring up tastefully and still find out for sure.
I figure if conventional tactics don't work, then go unconventional. (Look at Ebay, before that was created, people just had garage sales, someone decided to try an unconventional tactic not yet used online and look how its exploded. ) With online dating, you know the person is single or has a single mindset, they are looking or open to looking and you see the dealbreakers right up front. I guess that discourages people but I think thats great.
I WANT to be ELIMINATED by women in terms of potential interest. The earlier the better, the reason is , then I can focus on the ones that have some potential for me. Some people see rejections as pure rejection. I see it as filtering. Someone filters you out fast, they are saving you time and are doing you a favor. In the same way, I want the power to filter people out quickly. If you are looking for a job, you put out alot of applications and resumes. Many companies won't want you, law of averages, does that stop you from looking? From putting more resumes out? No, you keep going. You are not going to win them all and its not a reflection on you as a person. I fail to understand why people dont look at dating the same way. You are going to , in the short term, lose more than you win. But if you can find one long term win out of it all in the end, then the squeeze is worth the juice.
I'm a guy and men in general, online or not, have to face it. You have to be the pursuer and you will get more strikeouts than base hits and thats ok. Women are choosy for all kinds of reason and for no reason at all. The guys who succeed are the guys who already know that failure is possible but never acceptable. You just keep plugging.
So to answer your question - No, a financially poor woman or one of average looks would not bother me and would not bother other wealthy guys I know. We realize whats going on in the world around us. People are getting laid off, downsized and outsourced. Its hard out there. Not everyone in financial hell meant to be there, sometimes life happens. I think however I am concerned about a woman being emotionally and morally 'bankrupt' Thats the kind of poverty, a state of mind, a way of life, that no one can easily recover from. I think the best example would be from WW2, many people were sent to prison camps and death camps. Some resigned themselves to eventual death and laid down to die. Some took the time to get up each morning, make goals even if they were tiny ones and rubbed some spit in their hair, combed it with their fingers and straightened it out each morning. People who did that had nothing, no money, probably on the brink of death, but they were not emotionally bankrupt. Inside they were rich in a way no money could buy. They had something, a sense of self worth, no one can take from you. That kind of character, that kind of resolve is what all men look for, whether you are rich or poor.
Someone can be 'good looking' and not ultimately be 'attractive'. And there are plenty of people who are 'attractive' but may not be classically 'good looking' But the kind of person who is 'attractive' is the kind of person with the self worth to take care of themselves. An overweight person is often not 'good looking' and not 'attractive'. Good looks is not something you can always control, you are born with what you are born with. Attractiveness however is something you can work on. If someone is really heavy and doesnt want to go jogging, it says something about themselves and how they feel about themselves before it even gets to what you think about them. So no, no man demands a woman be Angelina Jolie, he does however take notice if a woman makes an effort to make herself as attractive as possible, no matter how high or low her ceiling on good looks may be.
Its a simple concept. Men are simple creatures. Its too bad many women don't seem to understand that. | |
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