| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/11/2006 6:18:57 PM | The answer is pretty clear. I ask for the reason of wanting to know what the potential risk is with the individual. I had one ex g/f whom was 20, she lost it when she was 17. In that time period she had racked up WELL over 100 partners. It was not uncommon for her to sleep with 8-9 guys a week. I wasnt asking to figure out what type of morals she had, judging people in that was is, to me, just sad. I did want to know though to be able to guage any risk factor of STDs. She would get tested on a regular basis ( as we all should ), however somethings take time to show up, and test can sometimes be wrong. So there was no way I was going to have unprotected sex with her, even though we had been together for awhile.
To say it`s none of anyones buisness is just plain ignorant in my view. Even if it`s just a casual sexual encounter with someone you should have no problem being open and honest about your past. By saying it`s none of your partners buisness would mean your either ashamed of the number ( which is just silly, but understandable in todays judgmental climate ) or it means your trying to hide something. Either way not a reaction/response I would accept from a partner.
I would think also that another reason would be to guage "experiance" levels. I myself prefer someone I dont have to teach everything too, although that CAN be fun. It tends to get old relatively fast however.
I think the real question is, how much can you trust the numbers your given as an answer. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/11/2006 6:20:04 PM | Maybe it's a measure of how bad or a bad boy he is.
If he looks like a bad boy and hasn't slept with many women then he's "new" at it.
If he has slept with a lot of woment then he has always been a "bad boy"
It could also be the measuring stick.
If he slept with x numeber of women the it's ok that I've slept with y number of guys.
It's also a measure of experience. wondering how he got so good or why he's so bad.
There are many reasons to ask but the question is what are u going to do with that information.
If he has had more sex partners than u, does that make him a bad person or u a better person and you're going to hold it against him.
The other problem is women think too much about it all. He had sex partner and she's had sex partners. As long as everything is going well, somethings are better off unsaid.
Women, try and control yourself. Silence is golden, don't ask stupid questions if you're not going to like the answer. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/11/2006 6:20:08 PM | I don't ask a woman how many partners she's been with, we all have a past, and I'm sure she will not like the amount of ladies I been with. I pick and choose my own battles. I do ask about protection and if she's ever been tested for an STD. I have, and I feel it should be asked, it's your life you are dealing with here, and no piece of ass is worth that..
-Atone | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/11/2006 6:21:11 PM | I don't see the big deal - its not to compare - its because you want to get to know the other people - I don't think its something you ask on the first date - but after a little while once you feel comfortable - why not? You never know, sometimes it helps you get to know some things they like but are too shy to bring up??
For the people that don't want to say - I think its because they are a little ashamed to actually say how many they have been with cause its been so many...hmmm - not that theres anything wrong with that but I think thats the reason...like someone said - the past is the past - if they ask the question, they had better be prepared for the answer!!  | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/11/2006 6:26:23 PM | I used to ask this question when I was young and insecure. Now that I am older and insecure  I don't ask this question. No one needs to know this information. The past is the past, and nothing you know or don't know will change it.
Once a woman knows the truth, she will only roll it around in her mind and allow it to drive her insane. No numbers, no names, no pictures. Focus on the present, and let the past lie where it is. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:45:45 PM | | I don't mind answering the question when posed ... Like someone said before it's my past ... However I find then the guys tend to want comparisons ... "Have you had bigger than me!" ... "Am I the best sex you ever had!" etc ... I find these questions harder to answer as now if he wasn't then what do you say! | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:57:46 PM | I actually have NEVER asked a guy how many women he has been with before....
I have had men ask me how many men I've been with...........
I've had a past relationship that comes back in and out of my life that always wants to know if I've been intimate with anyone... like um... it's his business? LOL
I'd be honest and say how many...... cuz it's not many.............. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:01:59 PM | ***Men know what they are doin..so far..well I've only had boys..*snickers*
A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y G-R-E-A-T A-N-S-W-E-R
Squeak | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 4:51:12 AM | I have had men ask me how many men I've slept with and my answers has been, 'how many men have you been with?'
I don't ask for a number count, but I will ask about marriage(s), longterm relationships, etc.
How a man answers and talks about his past relationships in general, often is an indicator of what he's like now.
I never kept track of how many men I've been with, but I do know how many significant relationships I've had.
I've been sexually active for 40 years,clean and careful. Been tested at my own request for my own assurance.
I expect the same precautions and cleanliness from a man, and that's also why I don't have an issue in talking about our sexual past and practices. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:21:11 AM | Why do we ask?
Because we like to know.
I don't really care how many people someone has been with so long as they've been safe and tested every so often (because you can get things from oral and I don't think I know anyone who has used a dental dam). | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 6:04:40 AM | ^^^^^^
speak for yourself young lady !!!!
I bring my dental dam everywhere i go
I am wearing it right now | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 6:41:25 AM | dotcalm: perfect answer.
My version is similar: "Do you want an estimate? Because I'm not the kind of guy who notches bedposts/whatever, and it's been a while since I was with most of them..."
Alternatively, I tell a (partial) truth: I've made love to one woman, my ex-fiance. I just don't mention the sex with anyone else... | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 7:00:43 AM |
When she/he asks, just say: "Does it really matter? I'm with YOU now"
my next thought is
hmmmmmm
so does that mean 5 or 55 ???? | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 7:04:54 AM | People ask questions because they do not want an answer which would make them very uncomfortable with the 'askee', if that's a word.
In my 20s, I had a girlfriend who (during high school) needed to trade sexual favours (blowjobs) for money to buy record albums with, as she loved music, and her father refused to give any allowance for things he considered frivolous. Her partners probably numbered about 110 or so, whereas I was at #6. It became irrelevant because she was the 1st to offer me anal and a full-service (swallow, smile, and kiss) BJ. These are both wonderful the first time they happen.
More recently, I have found that those women who are more relaxed with their sexuality are more desireable to me, and they are usually well-experienced.
I think the spirit of the question the OP was asking about, is that women want to be reassured they are not being "played", so as to be another sexual conquest. I do agree it can be a landmine if one wants to continue a serious relationship with a relatively inexperienced person. There is no good answer in this case. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 7:09:12 AM | my next thought is
hmmmmmm
so does that mean 5 or 55 ????
That's when I'd say something like, "Oh, somewhere between 1 and 6 billion"  But I'm a smart azz like that.
Maria XOXO | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 7:49:27 AM | | The number of partners has nothing to do with experience--it just means they had a lot of sex. The best lovers are people who have been in long relationships. That means (hopefully) they are experienced at: keeping it fresh, trying new things, finding out what pleases their partner. Numbers are inconsequential. | |
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brags
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Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 43 | |
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 8:44:30 AM | Trying new things?? You mean like swing with another couple? Have a threesome with one of your girlfriends? Hire an escort? Anything short of bringing a new girl into the mix is hardly trying new things...I don't understand why women say this..it's like their biggest fear is becoming a chore, and they try everything to convince themselves that somehow, their **** is better than all the other women around. It ain't, it's exactly the same as all the rest.
There is one fact of life that you can always count on..as sure as you can count on death. No matter how gorgeous a woman is, somewhere, there is a man who is tired of ****ing her. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 4:54:22 PM | That reminds me of one of my favorite bumper stickers "She may be hot but someone's sick of her s**t"
Brags, I gotta add that all womens hoo hoo's aren't the same, just like all mens penises aren't the same.
Rob | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:00:59 PM | | Well, I assume that they would like to know how good you are at keeping and sustaining relationships and what risks she might have with you as far as STDs and such are concerned. Unless you've been a total slut, you shouldn't be bothered by her asking that question, actually you should be glad that she brought it before one of your friends says out loud in front of her "Dude, you remember? We used to bang all these different chicks man, every night. We were like gods, dude. Remember?" Hey, but what are friends for but to **** up your relationships, right? | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:01:05 PM | | i know i'm not their first........as long as i'm their only while we're in a relationship, i'm cool with that. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 5:48:36 PM | | Of course, one would inquire about this mainly for HEALTH issues and safety??? (but you can have fun and be safe too!) Other than that, why do you really need or want to know? Is the individual insecure that they're going to be compared to someone else? Everyone has history unless you are pure. Get over it. Be confident in yourself and your relationship and not ask questions that can lead to heated arguments. I was asked this question by a guy I dated for a very short time. He showed every sign of being a jealous freak. Too many questions lead to me to saying "bye bye". And he never did get "any".......poor schmuck.......if he'd only kept the questions to a minimum. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 6:21:34 PM | "they want to know just as much we do how clean are they if they have slept with 50 plus people they are more likely to cheat i had a ex slept with 14 guys in her life problem was she was 17 at the time and she did cheat on me even after i ghave her a home after foster mom kicked her out and i was nice and forgave her and she tried to do it again once a cheater always a cheater." -cubsfanadan
Sorry bud but the number of people you sleep with doesnt make you a cheater or not. I would rethink your logic. | |
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kyleW
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Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 50 | |
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