| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 7:14:39 PM | | I don't ask, because I don't care to know. I really don't care. It is what is going on at present that matters, not the past. But then again, if someone asks me, I have no problem telling it. I do not think it should ever be the cause of an argument. Whats done is done right? | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 8:20:01 PM | THats simple....She just wants to make sure that you havn't slept with more than she. If she's been a real skank, it's her way of being safe. But, if she asks you after sex....it's cause your performance sucked.
Thats by opinion. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 10:39:05 PM | cuz we are nosy
deep down we want you to say...I have been w/50 women but none as wonderful as you lol
or that you have only been w/a few women...shows comittment. ok..so we all have our own reasons. ok..pay me no mind..I have been awake too long. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/12/2006 11:07:27 PM | | Well, its more better if you are honest, if they get mad about it, it is likely she is concerned she won't be better or worse. | |
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brags
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Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 57 | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/13/2006 12:49:27 AM | Normally, you will not get an honest answer anyway ( at least at the start).
A friend of mine once came up with a rule, when faced with that situation. He just multiplies the answer by two. 
It's not that important, and I have never asked it. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/13/2006 1:15:24 AM | brags:
Who cares if its bad grammar???
I am not running for a grammar competition, if people can read it, who gives a crap if its good grammar or not??? | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/13/2006 5:54:25 AM | | TBH nearlly every guy i have gone out with has ased me how many ppl I have slept with. They don't really wna know they are just looking for reassurance. Why would a bloke wna know the girl he loves ahs slept with more ppl than him it might give him a complex or he might start judging her on his past. I know when guys have offered me this information or even spoke about sex with another person they have dated it makes me feel bad about myself and also at the mere fact they want to discuss their past in that sense with me especially if it was about sum1 they were in love with. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/13/2006 6:08:18 AM | | I'm not so much interested (don't really care), as to how many women he has slept with as I am with how many times he has been married. 3x or more is a definite turn-off for me and sometimes, 2x will send up the antenna. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/13/2006 6:13:06 AM | | How does it show commitment if a guy hasn't been with that many people?? LOL Maybe he has been single all his life then.. Just because his numbers are lower doesn't mean he's commited. I've been with a fair number of people an I'm very commited. Just when i am single, i go a lil nuts.. :D | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 63 | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/14/2006 4:10:23 PM |
Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with? Why would they want to know this?
Perhaps the reason is that it is as legitamate and pertinent of a question as "how many times have you been married" "how many serious relationships". In the scope of having an OPEN and HONEST communication as a basis of relationship why would it NOT be asked if the question came to mind? Would you care at all if someone you were seriously interested in was with over 50 people in the past 12 months? If not why even ask how long since a marriage? All of the questions speak to mental/physical/emotional/psychological AVAILABILITY and health. Also EVERYONE is like a quilt,every quilt has a tapestry. You really cannot begin to appreciate fully the quilt without understanding/knowing the tapestry. Asking a question does not mean placing a value on the answer. However, a question that goes unasked has no positive value....no merit....1 that goes unanswered leaves many more questions;none of which are positive. Open and honest communication leads to increased trust.
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/14/2006 6:16:34 PM | It is a trap question such as: Have you stopped beating your wife ?
If you answer that you are not a virgin, you are a male whore.
If you say you're a virgin, they say: What ? At your age ? Did no woman want you ? | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/14/2006 7:35:29 PM | | I'd ask... just out of curiousity- it's not a loaded question or anything- unless the answer is "Well I stopped couting at 50" then it doens't really matter to me what the number is, just something I think is fun to talk about... maybe I'm weird... | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/14/2006 7:42:16 PM | I think its important to know for several reasons.
1. Safety - the more men/women you have been with the higher the risk of catching an STD. Its never safe to assume that protection is always used.
2. Sexual Prowess - Although it is not always an accurate determinate in determining how good someone is in the sack, if someone sucks that has slept with 30 women its a lot more difficult to understand than if he had only slept with 4.
3. Emotional Baggage - Men and/or women that have had more sexual partners are less likely to be emotionally attached too early (ever have that person that told you they loved you after dating for like a week....?)
But these are just my observations.....
Plus, as others have pointed out, it can be quite a conversation starter, lol.
Plus, I think guys think its awesome when they have a girl that's been around the block and are still very satisfied with their man in the bedroom. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/14/2006 11:10:03 PM | I am an open book. They ask, I tell. And i expect the same honesty.
Has never started a fight.
I admit if a guy said to me I was number 1 or 2 I would be sceptical...
If they said 100 or 200.... would not care. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/14/2006 11:30:36 PM | I don't think I've ever asked, but I don't really need to. I pretty much know by the time I sleep with a man about what his experience level is, so what difference what the actual numbers are. The same holds true vice versa. A man will have a pretty good idea before he sleeps with me what my experience level is, and he doesn't need to know my actual numbers (I don't even know my actual numbers, FFS!  ).
My ex-husband and I knew approximately what the numbers were for one another—never caused us a moments doubt or problem. What did we care? It was our past. Besides, I don't wanna be teaching a man new tricks, so I hope he's got plenty of experience!
I am thoroughly offended that anyone would even suggest that anyone's number of past lovers is an indication of either how loyal one is or how safe from disease one is. Everyone should be tested frequently if having unprotected sex. We should all KNOW we are safe if we intend to have unprotected sex. A person's number of past lovers has got NOTHING to do with loyalty and commitment. Sheesshh...
OT: Sweetie, grammar is important unless you don't mind coming across like an idiot in forums, but then, I'm not sure a pic of a guy sticking his gut out in his profile pic is a whole lot better.
Petunia G. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/14/2006 11:35:55 PM | | I haven't asked and I haven't been asked. However, it is a valid question because your past makes you what you are. I just haven't needed to ask; just as I have not asked my dates if they have been in prison, a mental instution, or been a drug addict because I'm certain they have not. Before getting serious, if approprate, I would ask. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/14/2006 11:54:37 PM | | ive always been of the opinion don't ask questions you may not like the answers to.the times i have been ask i have told them,only one lady had any problem with it and that came back to a low self-esteem issue for her.i have ask before to but mostly to not make the same mistakes others had made in the past. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/15/2006 12:59:04 AM | it doesn't matter how many people you've slept with...either you have an STD or you don't. if you have one you shouldn't be sleeping with anyone. If you "had" one then it's gone and it's not an issue.
I would be more concerned about mental institution, jail, anger issues, drug use. Issues that are current and affect you in the here and now.
How does the number of people a person has slept with affect your opinion of them? | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/15/2006 7:50:17 AM | 3. Emotional Baggage - Men and/or women that have had more sexual partners are less likely to be emotionally attached too early (ever have that person that told you they loved you after dating for like a week....?)
I agree that emotional baggage is a concern but my take on it is very different. To me the more partners the more likely indicator of baggage. Just as miles on a car is an indicator of wear.
Your observation of the likelihood of emotional attachment,I also agree with. However,I see it as being a "good thing" .To me it means the person hasn't separated emotion from sex as much and therefore it is more admirable. The opposite of this would be someone who treats sex as a handshake or worse;as a handwave. 
Also, I think it speaks to AVAILABILTY and HEALTH. There are 2 kinds of STD's Spiritually Transmitted Desease(is 1 sexually transmitted is the other);its like the old saying" if you lay down with dogs you could get fleas".The FACT that someone may have been with 50 partners in 1 year is indication of a spiritually transmitted disease. The fact that someone cannot commit(history) is an indication of a type of Spiritually transmitted disease.
I am thoroughly offended that anyone would even suggest that anyone's number of past lovers is an indication of either how loyal one is or how safe from disease one is.
NOT! "When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they and their partners have had sex with the last ten years"... C. Everett Coop, Former U.S. Surgeon General
Is it an indicator of how safe? Not exactly,it CAN be an indicator of being in an higher risk group by nature of PRACTICE which is the MOST logical use of indicators. It IS a reason to ASK the question on which this thread is centered around.
A man will have a pretty good idea before he sleeps with me what my experience[/ level is
If this is true, no need in beating around the bush or having a "good idea" when the question can be asked. Similar information it shows that there is a curiosity,the difference is whether the OPENESS and FREEDOM to discuss ANYTHING is there. If it is,ANY and ALL questions should be on the table. Otherwise,its like saying "I want to get naked with ya but I want to be pc"
it doesn't matter how many people you've slept with...either you have an STD or you don't. Your partner may not know he/she has an STD...some of the diseases have no symptoms or the symptoms do not show up until a long time down the road
STD's are the most common disease in America next to the common cold and the flu!
· 41,000 people EACH DAY become newly infected with an STD...Why would you be exempt?
Use condoms and (INFORMED)common sense! Condoms are only 70% effective if THAT!They leak, break, deteriorate, and have 50 times larger microscopic holes in them than the AIDS virus. They do NOT prevent all AIDS!! AIDS is NOT curable!! AIDS=DEATH! Condoms do not prevent some diseases, such as herpes and HPV (or Genital Warts), which can be gotten through genital contact only, without even having intercourse. This is why its important to use INFORMED COMMON SENSE. Common sense would IMO,include having OPEN and HONEST conversations about anything and everything long BEFORE sex,INCLUDING asking about sexual history in the past 10 yrs.
Directly to the question "Why do women ask this question?" People ask the question because THEY CARE, because its LOGICAL,because its PERTINENT,because if you are even CONSIDERING being intimate together its a part of the intimacy BEFORE the physcial intimacy to feel FREE to discuss anything and everything OPENLY and HONESTLY. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/15/2006 9:18:27 AM |
Ok but really, WHY do men ask how many men a woman have slept with? hmmm?
I'm a virgin everytime
Good attitude, seriously!
Although, the jig might be up when they see your child.....or you could claim immaculate conception! | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 1/15/2006 9:30:30 AM | AH the dreaded "how many people have you faaked" question..
I never ask this question to guys.. One reason is because i just flat out don't want to know, and two is because I don't want him to ask me in return...
Although through some trials I have found that sometimes you just gotta give people an answer, and since i have already told them its none of their business, then i find that telling a little white lie is A-OK!
So i have come up with a number that goes well with my age and fits about all sexual situations.. That number my friends is 9.
There is 3 for relationships that lasted between 1-3 years, 2 for relationships just shy of a year (you know like 7-9 months), 2 for those like 1-3 month relationships, and the last 2 goes in the one night stand category, one of them being the one night stand that turned into a relationship, and the other one just being your one and only flat out one night stand...
I have found that these numbers and reasons for them have gone over well with the numbers of men who have asked me that dreaded question.. | |
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