| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:55:32 AM | i never ask-and think its very rude to ask..........
what women wants to know her mans been with other women.........
i like to think the man im with was a virgin till he met me! | |
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Liss1
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Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 127 | |
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 3/26/2006 8:09:05 AM | | That's a question I have asked in the past...with most guys I have been with. It's true the past is the past but if we are in a relationship why can't you share your past with me. I won't judge you for it but it's nice not to have secrets | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:21:02 PM | | I believe that it is a question that should be asked because ultimately the number of ppl that you have been with shows me what your morals/values are and how you hold yourself and what should be considered something special between two people. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:43:46 PM | | I've never asked that question but if I am asked then I answer truthfully and then and only then do I feel I have the right to ask the same and expect an honest answer in return. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 3/26/2006 8:47:51 PM | | Just tell them to hold on a second, you have to run to your bed post and count all the notches... then come back and tell her "one more than you have"... :p | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 3/26/2006 8:58:45 PM | I've asked out of mere curiousity and if I wasn't told.......yeah, I got pissed. But I got over it.  | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 7/20/2006 5:15:21 AM | I dont recal l doing this to a boy friend. I dont want to know numbers... i guess I just wanna know hes a smoothy in the intimate department an d I dont have ot teach him stuff. Learn from one another sure but to teach for a girl...I guess we expect you guys to know mor e moves than us. I at this point ask how many women hes dated seriously which means , does he have potential for long term and commitment at some point and of course I figure hes been with them. I dont care about the other stuff. I know Im no one night stand so if he had had one in the past thats the past. HEs OLD now;) heehee and if I feel I trust him to date him than I trust he wont go off with someone else while we re together. I guess its all a matter of can she trust you and will he run off or will he make a commitment to me at some point.I thihk it may be that | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 7/20/2006 7:59:59 AM | | I've never asked anyone that question. It's none of my business what he did before he met me (unless of course he's not clean). Although I do like to know when the last time he had sex was. If it was last night, he's probably a player. If it was two months ago, he's probably not. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 7/20/2006 8:12:11 AM | Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with? Why would they want to know this?
I have a close friend who was asked this by his g/f and when he told her it was none of her business and that it doesn't matter she got all upset.
In fact, I have never asked a guy that question. However, many men have asked me that question. Usually I respond with, "what amount would you feel comfortable with? Let's face it - I'm 48 and although I haven't been promiscuous, I've had my fair share of relationships. What would seem like a lot to one - would seem like little to another. Therefore, the amount is none of anyone's business. HOWEVER, having said that, it IS important to know and understand someone's sexual habits and there are more tactful yet direct ways of learning this as you get to know them.
It IS someone's business to know if someone's promiscuous and careless. I'd say it's more important to understand if someone's reckless and careless - because everyone's definition (apparently) is different for "promiscuous" - although to me - reckless and careless = promiscuous!
Asking that question (how many men/women...) directly doesn't necessarily mean you'll get an honest answer.
I've found that when guys ask this question - they have alterior motives which are not necessarily good ones. It's not about knowing if you're "clean" or disease free or not - it's more of an ego thing - mostly.
However, as you're getting to know someone - it's perfectly alright to ask questions about their sexual habits... i.e., what do you use for protection? have you ever had a 3-some? have you ever had sex with someone you didn't know? Have you ever had an STD? What kind of STD? There are a gazzillion questions you can ask WITH TACT to discover how a person is sexually.
As a matter of HEALTH and valuing one's life, a person has every right to inform themselves by asking As you're getting to know a person, you'll get a general feel for their honesty. Of course, all people lie to a degree - there are some things best kept to themselves - there are some things I'd rather not have known. I know some guys who in their younger years did some stupid things that don't sit well with me - but that doesn't mean they'll do it again. I'm totally concerned about disease and for me it's not about some ego trip. I feel I have every right to know if someone's had any STDs - EVER. What type? And how long ago it was.
One of my (male) friends found out that his GF and soon-to-be lover had herpes - she told him, after 2-3 weeks of regular dating, and just as they were getting ready to perform the act! Needless to say - he dumped her right then and there. I don't blame him. She should have told him sooner. It's not the kind of thing I'd want to find out about in the heat of passion!
Tango57 | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 7/20/2006 8:14:16 AM | | I agree with you. Any person who would ask for your number is just looking for trouble. Its kind of rude. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 7/20/2006 8:36:15 AM | I can see a guy asking, but if you need to strap a picnic table to your back to keep from falling in, you'd think you'd know the answer already.
I just say I'm a virgin, then I can do no wrong 
My opinion on a girl asking? She's testing you. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 4:26:24 AM | | My ex fiance asked me that question twenty times before I thought about what the question was really for. She and I were good because we both enjoyed sex anywhere; anytime. But that question kept popping up: anytime and everywhere. I told her it didn't matter because we were together and thats what counted. She'd say,"ijust want to know whether I measure up to your expectations of love"? So I said; ya you do, today we've been in bed or other places seven times; so I guess we both measure up and we have a great sex life". Still driving down the road and here comes that question; again. Would you leave it alone, we are together thats what counts; finally tired of it all,"I said twenty women". She said your lying, I talked with your brother John and he thought 50-100 women and further more during college you had many, many women. I said how would he know, do you think he was there going to school in California and me in Washington? Hes pulling off a bad joke. She wouldn't let it go. She was proceding with wedding plans, I was finding out that she had talked with her gurlie clan of friends and a couple called me a 'Ho"; suddenly the numbers went up 100 to 200. I was getting shit from my own buddies; hey Romeo, SuperStud & etc. Now one of her family members calls up and suggests that I say i'm sorry to her and the family for lying to her. I asked the family member how many men she had slept with before she got married? Wow; look I created world war III; I thought; "wow I answered one question; one time and now i'm a lying, cheatin', son of a ****". I called off the wedding. I gave her family $ 10K for what they had put into it. Funny thing was; she tried to return to me fourteen times, sent me flowers, told me that I was the only man for her!! I would have none of it, not that question. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 7:56:23 AM | | I think it depends on your age as well. I know I used to want to know when I was younger, now it doesn't really matter. What difference does it make really ... its going to change how I feel about someone. When you are serious with someone, they will want to share that info perhaps so let it come out naturally. Everyone has some secrets or skeletons that you don't necessarily want to always get into, partners could be one of them so why condemn? | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 8:25:04 AM | | Its important to be honest to your partner about that question because is all comes down to STD. Member when you sleep with someone you sleep with whoever else has been with that person. Be honest! | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 11:08:36 AM | Lol funny...the past is what it is...a done deal...all we have is this moment...as the future is unborn yet created in this one moment...
Who cares about the past...it's over...live in the present...the past is only good for one thing...lessons learned and wisdom aquired. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 11:08:45 AM |
Its important to be honest to your partner about that question because is all comes down to STD. Member when you sleep with someone you sleep with whoever else has been with that person. Be honest!
I don't agree with this... as long as you get yourself tested and you are STD free then this argument falls by the wayside.
I've only been asked when the girl said (in post orgasmic state), "Where did you learn how to do that? Oh wait, I don't want to know..."  | |
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JenGG
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 145 | |
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:55:23 PM | Some are very proud of their number:)
Personally, I think you can tell anything to your partner. If you can't, get a different partner. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:58:00 PM | | numbers don't matter...what matters is that the person is clean and they've picked up a few tricks along the way. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:25:36 PM | Since I was married before (briefly and badly), I would prepare a pat answer something like this:
"I was married briefly in the past, so yes I have had sex with a woman. As far as the total number of women I have had sex with in my whole life, I do not see how that is relevant to our current relationship. I can confirm that I am free from any diseases and have not dated anyone for a while. Why are you asking me a question like this, and why does it matter?"
This puts the question back on her, to justify why she is asking (why do women ask this question anyway?).
If the woman started to get pissy about it, I would say, "What is in the past is in the past for both of us. Dredging up what happened years ago is not going to be good for our relationship now-I don't want to be compared to people you went out with before, and I am sure you don't want that comparison either. Nothing good can come of such past-based conversation".
That is what I would say. Good advice-guys, be ready with an answer like this, and rehearse it before the important date! 
Steve C. St. Louis, Mo | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:35:14 PM | "Its important to be honest to your partner about that question because is all comes down to STD. Member when you sleep with someone you sleep with whoever else has been with that person. Be honest! "
Vixen is right-STD's are a valid and vital concern. My answer would be, if I got an insistent line of interrogation from a woman I was dating, let's both get STD tested and wait to have sex until the results come back. Let's do that tomorrow morning. If we are both clean, what difference does it make how many women I had sex with, or how many men she had in the past? You can have sex with one person and get an STD! You can get herpes just from kissing! Besides, such past based questions can have a negative impact on the relationship (comparisons with other partners, etc.).
I believe some privacy is acceptable in a relationship-I dont have a right to read a woman's diary of personal thoughts, for example. There may be things they are talking to a therapist about , that they can't deal with telling me. How does it help the relationship to force someone to spill the beans on past traumas or things they are leaving behind?
Steve C. St. Louis, MO | |
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JenGG
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 149 | |
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:48:58 PM | That's very interesting, Steve.
I wouldn't ask that question, but if it were asked to me and the question was asked because my mate wanted to know. Not because of the opportunity to be jeolous or wanting to think that I may have not the number he wants. I would say that if he wanted to know, he wasn't going to judge me or put me on a peddlestal (sp), I would have no problem telling him. I would in no way offer that information, but if we were in a relationship, I would want him to know he could ask me anything. That, Steve, is the beauty of true trust. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:57:03 PM | Well this question has NEVER led to good things! So why ask?
In the past I have said a ridiculously large number just to judge the reaction... I mean really, who cares?! You're screwed if you answer and screwed if you don't, it's a stupid question that does nothing but generate lies, jealousy and or disgust.
Some even have a list, a prioritized list. It's always interesting to find your boyfriend's... | |
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