| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 3:03:01 PM | | I would say this is the best post I have seen on this. You need to know because you are also sleeping with every person your partner has slep with. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 4:09:54 PM | Robw993 (OP),
I don't share your simplistic assessment of the scenario. I don't think ANY answer will cause problems directly or indirectly in a relationship... but common answers will. If you're 30, never been married, went through a lot of short-term relationships, and you answered 5-7, I don't think hardly any women would be upset... in fact, they'd like that answer.
Problem is, if you've been single for most of your life, and you're past your mid-20's, the number can be higher than what one wants to hear (guy or girl) -- especially if one's dating someone who's been in only 2-3 longterm relationships, covering virtually all of their teen to adult life (ie number's low).
I say you don't answer with a number, answer it with a description... like "I slept with a few women in college I shouldn't have, didn't sleep with a few women I had real short term relationships with, slept with women in my longterm relationships and many of my short term ones, and I've gone through a few 5-6 month stretches of never having sex since I lost my virginity at age X." I think it is their business to know how you've played out your sex life in general -- not the details or some number to run off on assumptions with. Heck, a guy who's been single for most of his life at 30 would be looked upon as weird if his number was only 2 or something. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 4:44:24 PM | | i dont like guys that shag around so i would expect my guy to say a few anymore than that and id think hes a dirty ****er itd put me off him totally ... | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/25/2006 7:39:39 PM | | it has to be the dumest question ever but i think all of us women are guilty of asking it once. i know i have and i couldnt even tell u why i would ask suck a dum question.pluss dont know if anyone else has noticed chicks will ask how many theyve slept with but dont usually make shure that its a mangomouis relationship firist and then when he says more than i can count get mad continue dating and then are suprised when he cheets on her.im so glad im a women cause if i had to date one id loose my sanity. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/26/2006 12:19:33 AM | | Yeah, that stuff doesn't matter after he has undergone some serious full physical at the doctor with results on hand, before he jumps into bed with me. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/26/2006 12:54:41 AM | Safety. Attitude toward women-how long will you be around?
For me, I don't care how many women he has been with in his life because we go through a lot of changes in our lives. I have been a few different people in this lifetime.
Folks can pick up habits and they can drop them....bad and/or good.
If someone was wild 20 years ago doesn't mean they still are...or at least in the same way.
I DO want to know his RECENT sexual activity esp if I am considering sex with him at some point in the future. (need to be tested first-no guy is worth needlessly risking my quality of life)
If it is none of my business to know..then we stay "just friends". | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/26/2006 1:48:23 AM | | I dunno, Men ask it too,and I dont know if it anybodys business. Maybe if you're really serious, maybe see wedding plans in the near future, But other than that, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. They were the other persons sexual partners and thats a private area! | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/29/2006 9:54:11 AM | I don't see the point of asking. There's nothing I need to know from it. I can understand asking if I've been tested or something down that line, but not how many people I've been with. You can catch something by getting with one person...Whatever.
I think instead of asking how many people someone has been with in the past you should find out how many they are with NOW!!! Might be a little more important. Just my 2 cents though. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/29/2006 10:45:44 AM | If you have been with too many? you get branded a a$$h@le, s**t or worse!
If you have been with too few? you get branded queer or mentally introverted!
Can't Win!
In any case, the numbers are arbitrary, go to a Doc, get tested, no matter if you been with none or 100 [cheap or N/C in Canada-not sure about U.S.], get photocopy saying your clean and date test done. When questions come up, show them your copy [keep it wrapped around the condoms in your purse [wallet not a good place, guys, as damage occurs too easily]- when you have a change of significant/other, get tested again, When you date again, if there is any doubt in your mind [and you are screwing around with your own life as well as others] ask for their test results [yep,-tacky, yep'- embarrasing, yep,- not romantic but in this day and age so, so necessary] | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/30/2006 6:49:12 PM | Wow, I have been away from the forums for a while and it's nice to see my post is still getting some replies.
Rob | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/30/2006 6:52:58 PM | Well, if a woman asked me that question, I'd tell her NOYB as well...
As long as we both get a clean bill of health b4 any "playing", that's the only information she needs to know...
If she gets pissed, goodbye...
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/30/2006 7:03:28 PM | I could care less.
As long as she is CLEAN and disease free-who cares?
An insecure ego is THE biggest turn off.
Sorry Ladies-its NONE of your business. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/30/2006 10:18:39 PM | Relationships are built on trust. If someone asks you a question, the right thing to do if offer the truth. This question in particular should be asked in this day and age- it's extremely relevant. There is alot going on with STDs etc.
It really depends on the person as well.
-Age they lost virginity
-One night stands they thought would go further
-Partners they were cheated on by and how they handled it
-Sexual acts that didn't lead to intercourse
-General outlook on sex/love due to these experiences.
You can't judge someone if their heart is in the right place and they have been used.
Then there's people who've had all this done to them that figure, they'd turn the tables.
-Having their own one night stands
-Cheating
-Etc
Then they meet you, what do they want out of the relationship?
If this question is asked to you, the person wants to know how it will relate to what your relationship will be like.
Sex is complicated, someone trying to simplify it just wants to do it. People who understand the validity of the question are seeking more than that.
If you don't want to answer the question, there's gotta be a reason why. If you'll hide that- what else are you hiding?
I probably personally wouldn't ask the question if I feared the answer.
It's a good thing that POF let's you get to know people better before ever deciding if you'll meet in person. :) | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 11/30/2006 10:32:09 PM | | I think it's one of those questions that people ask but then wish they didn't... like thinking you want to know if your boyfriend thinks another girl is cute. As long as it's not extreme on either side I don't think it's really relevant. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/1/2006 3:41:57 AM | yeah... had a guy that asked me that question and it wasnt pretty. Girls... make sure your number is always smaller then his.  | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/1/2006 9:04:05 AM | If a woman were to ask me i would tell her it's a stupid question. teetering on insecurity issues.
What do number really mean anyway?
Funny how people ask questions then get upset at the answers..
People cant handle the thruth... so they shouldnt ask it.
What I do before them is quite frankly none of their business... just as their history is none of mine.
Hell.. I sure dont want some 35 year old VIRGIN.. Boring! | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 168 | |
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/1/2006 1:54:58 PM | | I dont think I've ever asked someone I was involved with this question...to me, what/who he did before he met me is none of my business. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/1/2006 1:59:25 PM | | is cumming in a shower head before you know a woman is going to get in after you wrong, just so you can cover them with spunk? | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/1/2006 2:05:47 PM | | oddly enough - I've never asked the question, but the last BF just offered it up (but not in exact numbers). He was proud that very few had been where I had been with him...I took it as a sign of "you don't sleep around, you aren't free with your body with EVERYONE - neither do I and this is a good thing...we are serious about each other" | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/1/2006 4:36:06 PM |
is cumming in a shower head before you know a woman is going to get in after you wrong, just so you can cover them with spunk?
And you were asking why you have a problem attracting women?... sheesh! | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/4/2006 10:15:31 AM | "yeah... had a guy that asked me that question and it wasnt pretty. Girls... make sure your number is always smaller then his. "
Nateras, on a side note women should always make sure your sex toys are smaller than his tool!
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/4/2006 3:16:24 PM | | my answer is always, enough to know what im doing, and not enough to have an std. thats all they need to know. This coversation never goes anywhere pretty. | |
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| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/4/2006 3:39:14 PM | i would never ask cause some times, the truth hurts, and i would also not want to be asked... its not important!!! | |
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