| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/4/2006 3:40:40 PM | I have learned from experience, the answer is always" that you never kiss and tell".
As others have said, the number isn't important just as long as you both are healthy, clean, and or been tested recently.
I see it only as a trust issue, and that is all anyone needs to know. We all have skeletons in our closets, and everyone has been young, stupid, or wild at one point or another. The past is the past, regrets or not none of that matters, today, tomorrow, or in the future.
Preferably, hold me, kiss me, and love me for me, and that is all anyone can ask.
 | |
|
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/13/2006 10:14:59 AM | | I think it's sometimes just a curiosity factor. I'm a female and I've asked before and prefer a higher number than just one or two. I'd like a man who is experienced. Some women like to 'teach', I have no interest whatsoever. But I also don't ask any questions unless I can handle the answer. If a woman (or man) is going to use the answer against you, or they can't handle the answer, then don't ask the question in the first place. That''s game playing. | |
|
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/13/2006 10:15:40 AM | | and to think that if a person only says they have been with one or two people correctly gauges an std risk......that's naieve.........it only takes one............ | |
|
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/13/2006 10:31:07 AM | | I just say that I'd rather not tell her because it might effect the way she views me. I'd then add that it's far less than you fear... but, obviously, more than you'd like. | |
|
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/13/2006 10:48:52 AM |
When I asked men in my life that question, the one time I got a NYOB, I was pissed.
I mean, whats the hairy huge deal?!?!
I want to know all there is to know about my man...be it good or bad. I also want him to know all there is about me as well.
and then when he says he has been with like 12 girls, you're gonna throw a hissy fit and call him a man-whore.
it always happens like that.
girls expect their guys to have been with 1 or 2 girls, but anymore than that and the drama queen is unleashed! | |
|
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/13/2006 10:58:54 AM | I agree with what he said about less than she fears, more than she'd like. Pretty smooth right there.
I think if you ask it's mostly your insecurities showing. Cause, basically, when I had less than 5 partners, I'd ask. But now, I never ask, cause I don't really care how much she's had. So I've concluded probably if you ask you have a low # and you're insecure and don't want to get involved with someone with many "stripes" under his belt. | |
|
| Why do women ask this question?
Posted: 12/13/2006 11:04:14 AM | | I give her a simple answer.. none of your business!!! :P That said... I have no interest in knowing how many she has been with. I rather focus on "our" relationship and not open the door to any jealousy or over thinking. | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 4/7/2007 10:10:40 PM | | well i have asked that question before, and becuause i mean if you are just seeing someone or whatever, and trying to learn about them and get to know them better and expecting it to go somewhere, i guess a guy telling a girl how many women he has been with kinda lets us know whether he is a player or not, because if a guy says oh yeah in 22 and ive been with 50 chicks..that gives off a bad impression and the girl often will ask herself what she should evpect from him when it comes to being faithful etc...cause going from 50 girls to one girl is a big step for a guy. i would love to hear a guy say 1 or 2 anyday! | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 4/8/2007 2:43:42 AM | hmm...
that's an interesting comment, aaalyshaaa. if taken from the angle of playa vs. faithful, then i understand your point. it's then relationship material vs. ron jeremy wannabe, i suppose.
the last girl I dated asked me that question, so i asked her why that information was so important to her. she assumed because she was so keen on going through all of her experiences with me, that I should with her.
i explained that while I felt honored she could open up to me, i didn't quite care to know about all her ex-partners and I listened merely to be an active listener, and that i like keeping my past in the past.
Our final discussion on the topic went like this: :)
me: "Number of women I've been in relationships with, 'X'; the number of women I've had sex with: 'Y', after you, it'll be "X" and "Y+1"".
she: "Why not X+1?"
me: "Because we can't be in a relationship if you keep living in either of our pasts; I moved on."
************
From the sex-experience angle, i go with the theory that being with someone long enough and communicating what you want to do and how things can improve, can make up for lack of experience with other women. Then there are some (and I've dated them), who like the idea, presumably, of being the latest contender. | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:03:26 AM | On the surface, this seems like a legitimate question to ask ...depending on the guy, and how confident he comes across as being.
Beneath, it connotes an insecurity that the more tactful man will answer straight-up, but w/o giving her an actual body count or a detailed account. I wouldn't care to know her stats either, but what she's learned and still willing to learn for being my partner in what's really not a crime when done right. | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:51:25 AM | Everyone does know the Rule of 3, right?
However many she say multiple by 3, however many he says divide by three
And oh aaalyshaaa. it's the players that will lie and tell you a lower than real number to lull you into a false sense of security, those are the ones that are all about telling you what you WANT to hear instead of the truth. | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:33:48 AM | My answer: "one ... at a time". 
That's probably not a bad answer. After all, it seems like if a guy's been with less than 10 women, he's a "loser".
If he's been with more than 100 women, he's a "stud". On the other hand, someone like that could have a gift that keeps on giving. Ouch! | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:20:19 AM | | I sure as hell don't want to know.........and if I choose to tell a guy how many partners I've had (I'm not ashamed of how few - but I seem to be in the minority in my age group) but if he feels the need to ASK? huge red flag. | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:35:08 AM | | Wow......i have honestly NEVER asked a guy how many women he'd slept with for the simple reason that i wouldnt want him to ask ME that question !! (cannot see that its relevant to anything.......?) | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:53:24 AM | Relating this to another thread here ...about women not knowing their bodies, teaching or sharing their quirky little secrets w/ a man for his help getting to a higher level of letting go, I'd have to answer 'fractionally' rather than w/ a whole number, if asked.
As for the "Rule of 3" previously mentioned for determining a more accurate body count that a woman may claim, it's more like multiply it by "pi" or 3.1459...... give or take a few men. Funny how the Greek symbol for "life" remains a universal constant.
Enough for the math and intersting trivia, any women out there interested in putting one and one together to equal one? It's the ultimate logic of two healthy hearts w/ minds attached to each, and which can communicate well together. | |
|
| |
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 6/23/2007 9:00:29 AM | | I myself have asked this and its never started a fight. Whats wrong with asking personal questions with the one ur sharing ur bed with and getting truthful answers. Why lie about things like that. If the person ur with gets mad then ur with the wrong person. To many people in this world have learned to lie about things like this then one day u wake up to realize u have aids or std's from sleeping with someone u thought was clean becasue they lied to you. Past is past but be truthful about who or what u slept with. Whats wrong with being tested when u start a new relationship as well. No one wants to die over sex. Some people when they were young did things they wished they didnt have or they did sleep with to many people or the wrong type of people but as long as your truthful and tested normally then u shouldnt have a problem telling ur partner yea I did sleep with to many people but I learned and I have been tested. | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 6/23/2007 9:23:32 AM | I would think most people would be curious as to a round about figure more for safety than for any moral objections. I wouldn't classify it as first or first few dates conversation unless sex is on the agenda right away.
I have been asked the same question, many men have stated "just give me a ball park figure". Since I am a complete smart ass as well as a baseball fan I usually answer "well, definitely not a Yankee's crowd, more like the Devil Rays". | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 6/23/2007 9:28:01 AM | | The “How Many” question is like Russian roulette. It’s either gonna blow up in your face or not. Don’t ask if you can’t handle the answer. I was seeing a girl and it can up I told her mine she told me hers and I almost fell down. Her number was like 3 times mine. I got pssd at first then she reminded me that I was a in couple in LTR’s most, of hers were one niters. If you add the numbers up you’ve actually had sex WAY more than me. It put a band aide on my ego but also made me think A LOT about the question and why the hell I would wanna know. I’m in a LTR now and it’s come up a few times, we both agree that it’s not that important and sometimes it’s better not to know. I used to drink, A LOT, and because of it have done things I’m not very proud of, I really don’t want my SO to know that side of me. It’s not who I am now. Luckily she understands. | |
|
| Why do women ask a guy how many women he has been with?
Posted: 6/27/2007 2:57:25 AM | | why would a man ask how many man the womans been with why would they want to know did ur close friend ever tell u if he asked her how many men shes been with maybe thats why she got mad she told him and he told her it wasnt her buisness i dont know if the guy has the gull to ask that question to a girl i think the girl would like a response back if she asked him that question | |
|
| |
Home
login 
