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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
 csfbl

Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 51
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/13/2006 8:44:47 AM
True story a friend of mine is getting a divorce to his wife because she cheated on him, before he married her he was a virgin and she was the only girl he had ever been with.

The deal is we all cheat, dont come on this site and say you are innocent, and good and pure.

Freakin A, yeah guys can be pigs, yeah females can be sluts, get away from them, if machine can pleasure you, awesome, or if you want to find someone to replace the intimacy you lack with your husband because he "cheats" and is just a A HOLE.

Look at me ramble sometimes i dont know why I even bother i am the oldest freakin 20 year old in the world.
 grog27

Joined: 2/25/2005
Msg: 52
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/13/2006 8:51:28 AM
This thread is a total load of crap!! Both sides are equally guilty of being a**holes at one time or another. Get over it.
 Little Lady

Joined: 4/2/2005
Msg: 53
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/13/2006 8:53:25 AM
I married a virgin. True blue, never kissed, never held hands, never dated and he was 21 when I met him. It sounds great, not, he never learned from other women what women are like in the slightest. The worst thing was that he believed all the gossip and wives tales that other men talk about. Typical female stuff that he heard from the 'boys', which are usually exagerations. He believed them to his soul. Not good.

So we had a courtship full of learning experiences, the ones most go through with other partners. You go out with a person find out that this is not what you want or like you break up. With us we stuck it out, lots of learning goes on with young people in dating, and to do all that with only one partner can be a real problem. I loved him so I stuck it out, 41/2 years of dating and 23 years of marriage.

Humans cheat, whether it be games like cards, work or love, we tend to cheat to try to get all the benifits that are out there.
 Javodka

Joined: 9/20/2004
Msg: 54
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/13/2006 8:54:15 AM
Ladies as a man I am going to comment on something that is going to make you mad, but I am going to say it..
A woman doesnt need a man and you let us know that in everyway possible from the divorce to the way you shun us when a man really wants you for you. In today society you always want the one you cant hav eand the one that wants you you are quick to run from.
To be honest we all want sex and women are hornier then men, but yall just like us bring in a lot from baggage from a previous relationship and we have to understand the emotional side of it, but you cant take the fact we are men..feed us, **** us and lets us sleep and a real man will work two jobs to make sure his woman is happy, because if his woman is happy, his home will be happy.
You want to tell us about the ex, his kids, your friends, and most if not all you feel, but if we dont comment we are insensitive and uncaring. If we romance you , make love to you and the story stays the same ..you feel all we wanted was the booty..True we do, but hoped to have had the heart as well in the process. We are wired differently and to be honest you have all the **** 3/4 of the money and still we don't measure up in your eyes. You have the toys, the talk shows and girlfriends..plus there are so many gorgeous women you complain about there are no men, or they them selves are bi or lesbian and still you want to castrate us, but how about when we feel the same about you??

As a hopeless romantic..do you want to know the most exciting thing for me as a man..it is not the breast size, the thoings ,or is it shaved or unshaved. It is the essence of your love. Your attention and heart, but you get so wrapped up into family and friends and self you never really notice that there is someone who loves, desires and wants you for the woman we met , see or find attractive.
The problem is NOT us , but the security you have in yourself. You do ten thousand things to make yourself look beautiful and yes you all do go through so much pains for that, but as in the movie ..Six days and Seven Nights..Just show up..that is all we ask. Be yourself and love..what is wrong with that. Now I am not saying some men are not dogs looking for the instant gratification and with no remorse lay with you and leave, but we can only do what you allow us unless they take it and then that is not love. Again , you want loving as much as we do. Face it we are men and yes we are honry as hell...but not all of us are into the one night stand or worst. Sad thing is the average woman say one thing and turn out to be something else a pretty face and great body excites us..yes.. Are we easy...yes, but we also have hearts, feeling and needs..how about yall..will you admit you can have casual sex and not feel used. Can you say I enjoyed our evening, but am not looking for anything serious, but need a little loving or when you find a man that rock your world do your emotions get in the way and you dream, desire and long to the fairy tale and happy ever after?? NO , I don't think diner , a drink or conversation justifys getting laid, but would you intiate it if ytou wanted it??

Dying to hear your comment and NO I am not hating, but get tired of hearing you **** and complain about us when you are the biggest factor in the relationship.

i.e..I met a very nice yong lady here..at first I was hesitant in getting involved, but know I had a need and may have thought of wanting to get involved. Being a single dad with a 5yr old it was time to venture out and check myself and find ..THE ONE..so when we started to talk..it was more about her ex and the changes he had , was and is putting her through.. Ok , she needs to vent..let me listen. Yet, I didnt commnet for I find when a woman doesnt want to be bothered. You can close the legs, shut off the heart and NOTHING in the world can pry either open..
Then I heard her tell me I was mean and had a mean streak..WTF...I asked why..well you dont comment on yourself or open up.. Well HELLO..I never got a chance hearing about the other man..what did you want to hear from me. Tried to call got the answering machine, so now I am the one who was wrong, but never really got a chance to voice my concerns, feeling or thought. Yes I have issues with my ex , especially since I have split custody and my son is more important then life itself, but I will NOT compete with your past or present and dont think any real woman would do it for a man in todays world either....would you as a woman. If a man sat or talked to you about his ex and this and that .How long would you be there and how much interest or panites would you be wanting to give up. Anyway I have vented enough for the moment. I know I just opend a can of worms, but I am use to that..so hit me back and respond ...jay
 jan9

Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 55
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/13/2006 9:04:29 AM
IT'S BEEN MY EXPIERENCE THAT MEN LET THAT LITTLE DUMIWICKY DO ALL THEIR THINKING FOR THEM - IT SEEMS SO EASY FOR THEM TO JUST STICK IT ANYWHERE AND THERE FORGET ABOUT TALK ABOUT A ONE TRACK MIND ! - I DON'T BELIEVE A MAN'S SEX DRIVE IS ANYMORE POWERFUL THAN A WOMAN'S - WOMEN SEEM TO NEED MORE OF A CONNECTION TO HAVE A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER - THAT TAKES SOME TIME - OF COURSE THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO EVERY RULE WHICH WHY I'M STILL HOPEFUL - -
 Little Lady

Joined: 4/2/2005
Msg: 56
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/13/2006 9:29:59 AM
Sure Jay I'll take a stab at it.

I was married for 23 years, in that time I became who I am. To understand my quirks you may have to understand what has happened in my life. If you did listen you would have a better understanding of why I am the way I am now. I vent still, yes I am still fairly fresh out of marriage and therefore not looking for a long term. I explain that to any man that wants to take me out. I have lots of love to go around for anyone that is kind and gentle. I might try your patients at moments but that would show me your gentleness. But I mainly talk about things like that in a open way, you ask I'll answer, I'll ask and you can answer. I am very careful about that because I hear so many men complain about the one sided conversations. Of the few men I have gone out for coffee with almost all, (two didn't because they know my ex. and found out after we met) request a second coffee or third. It might be worth asking the woman if we could go father into 'the venting' her past problems the next date and try to change the subject and tell her that you really do want to understand it, but you want to think about the different ideas she gave you before you go any further.

As for the horny thing. I have not been horny for quite a while, but if you happen to be 6' or more, with a fairly large build I could be putty in your hands. Just step in front of me and look me in the eyes, or try to. Men that do excite me don't tend to notice that they do, so bye bye horny. I find women have secret ways of showing they are excited by a man. With me I back up, nothing more I just start backing my feet away from the man. I know how is he suppose to know, he won't unless he approches. Now if I have not completely left and I am still trying to have conversation with him, maybe he should try to come forward. Women play games and hid their horny. Sad but I find it true.

I do not do thousands of things to make me look good. I don't think I even have a moisturizer for my face in my house. It takes me usually a half hour to get ready for an evening. I show up at every 'date' that is made unless an emergency comes up. Emergencies are rare with me so I'll be there. I have given up my family and friends for my ex. (try explaining that to a new date). So there is no competition there. I would love to be loved but I am so use to being miss treated when someone does feel love for me it scares the crap out of me. I don't know what to do or say. I know exactly what to do when someone miss treats me, that is easy it is what I have done all my life. But to have someone love me, scares me and I don't know what to do. This is a problem with many miss treated women. They know how to handle the bad but have not clue how to handle the good. (You can fix a car but don't know what to do with a tatt needle and might not even reconize what it is)

If you care about a lady and don't feel that you are able to get a word in edge wise, have you considered buying a nice card and letting her know through words. Now if you do love, care, or are thinking about love it should not be a hard thing to do. I wouldn't email that one. But if you have only dated her once or twice then where should the love be? Should it even exist at this point?

We are all different, I am told that I am very different, and I hope something I said can help.
 mssng_vwls

Joined: 12/3/2005
Msg: 57
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/13/2006 5:33:32 PM

mssg vwls...clever name! You're another cool 23 year old.


Thank you.

It is a vintage year. Also, if my horoscope is right I have great foresight and am well educated on many different things, as well as popular, but bad with money. Or, if I choose to go with a different horoscope I'm loyal and honest, but don't mix well in social gatherings, although I always have money.

It's like Schrödinger's assessment of my personality.

Oh, and so this is on-topic, uh, there are, like, more than 3,000,000,000 men on the earth, so I'd guess a (surprisingly large) number of men are mean because they have a hangnail.
 single2000

Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 58
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 12:56:48 AM
Good For You.... For Standing Up.

Lest be Honest....

Alot of Females Abuses male. I seen today !!!

No wonder there is alot of disputes...

Just when the woman will take responssibility!!!
 single2000

Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 59
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 1:12:54 AM
Thank you.... MORE POWER TO YOU...........

I am Glad you clean the air. Hope they see it. Will they ???????????????????


My experience tells me.

Some woman will never be Happy... No Mater What a man do !!!!!!!!!

Body take charge.

You do well.
 AndromedaM31

Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 60
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 1:30:01 AM
Well i have to say that sometimes women are our own worst enemy.a lot of women do sleep with men on the first date,i have been told by guys that some women just want sex,they dont even care what the guy looks like and are willing to meet up after one chat,its like the proverbial 'why buy a cow when u get the milk for free",so it doesnt help the rest of us who are genuine,nice women who want to get to know and be known before we rush into the sex side.But guys who treat you like that arnt worth the bother,and your better off without.But we cant keep blaming the guys,if they are genuine they will wait untill we are ready,women are players too,and a lot seem to have a very low self esteem and confuse sex for love.
 smith2267

Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 61
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 1:50:35 AM
To the OP...Geez...you thought you were in love?
Sorry. Ouch.
 richardcranium1

Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 62
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 5:38:24 AM
I somewhat hate to admit it Daisie, but you are right. Only a man who truly loves you would stick around after that. If he truly loves you, YOU are what is important, and not him getting his rocks off.
 JustReal

Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 63
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 5:49:11 AM
Not all men are mean..nor are women. Some people just do not know how to treat others There are alot that think with the little head and not the big one..
there are alot of women that are equally to blame and use men.

Guys/girls who want sex from you after a few dates have one thing on their mind and i hate to say it..it is not a relationship. Live and learn. Very few will regin true with a relationship coming about when they get what they want..if that guy/gal sticks around and truly likes you..that is rare.
 GrtDayne

Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 64
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 6:05:47 AM
Oh BOO HOO!!! Grow up. ur supposedly 38 years old and you haven't yet realized that men like sex?? Studies show that men think about sex every 8 to 10 seconds! We can't help it! So, you talk to a guy online and on the phone for a month and he brings up sex after all that time and you flip out?? Get a grip!! Now let's talk about mean!! Men are usually mean by accident, whereas "hell hath no fury as a woman scorned"! I'm am also disappointed that all you little yentas are so quick and ready to CASTRATE this poor guy for having the nerve to talk about sex! One final note...most of us are NOT looking for a one night stands, but as stated, sex is an important issue to us in a relationship, so we ask and try to determine if it is a compatible issue. I am aware that I have probably become public enemy #1 butBut the man bashing was getting out of control!
 Sweete_

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 65
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 6:11:44 AM
Oh YooHoo!.....married, and looking for long term on a dating site? Spells "hypocrite" to me.

Back to the thread. You can't lump all men together, it works both ways, in fact, there are "alot" of women out there who are worse!!

Remember variety is the spice, it's what makes the world go around!.
 GrtDayne

Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 66
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 6:18:39 AM
You have got to be kidding me! I wish I had read this whole thread before I responded the 1st time. You are a ridiculous woman and for you to still be married and looking for love on a singles site is the worst type of mean! I wish I had read this whole thread before I responded the 1st time. You are a ridiculous woman and for you to still be married and looking for love on a singles site is the worst type of mean! I'd be willing to bet that you never told this poor slob that is single and looking, that you were still married! And if you did, why would he be looking for anything BUT a one night stand! You have no class..I'm done!!
 tchofclas

Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 67
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 6:20:45 AM
First, stop putting yourself down! There are plenty of others to do that for you. Second, get out your phone book and find a help line fooooor abused women and CALL. I can tell you from personal experience that mental abuse is more damaging than physical. Broken bones/bruising heals asier and faster. You need help to get your self esteem back. And if you don't do this, you will bring your children up to think this is what relationships are supposed to be like. People who stay in relationships for the kids do the children no favors. Then later they can't understand why their child stays in a terrible relationship. And foooooor those of you who wonder why some men are so mean, peobably some women too, it's often what they grew up with. Wwwwwwwhy do we get help for a phsical illness/injury, but when our brain gets a short ciruit, we don't try to get help to fix it. Women in bad relationships need help to get out. If you seek it, you will find it. It will help you to recognize the signs before you find out how mean they are, and it will make you a better person for when the right one comes along!
 tchofclas

Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 68
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 6:25:50 AM
For grtdane, if you checked her profile she says she prefers not to say what her relationship status is, duhhh, do you need it on a billboard to catch on?
 GrtDayne

Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 69
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 6:41:25 AM
It doesn't make my point any less valid...She's married, how can she expect anything less that a one night stand?? If a person...male or female really wants a new life with a new person, commit to it by by ending the old relationship 1st! Women are so quick to holler that men don't respect them...does this woman's actions really deserve respect? not from me! My wife cheated on me and broke my heart in the process. but I divorced her and moved on that's how you start looking for a new relationship...without old baggage!
 FRENCHCOOKIE

Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 70
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 6:56:03 AM
If you put out up front you are asking for trouble. Sex for sex is one thing when both parties consent to it. If you are looking for a long term relationship don't have sex so fast. Keep in mind a lot of men are here for what they don't/can't get at home.

Watch for red flags. Does he call you from home or work? Can you reach him at home or do you use his cell number only? How quickly does he move in for sex? During conversations does he really listen or are his answers one or two words? What does your gut tell you when speaking to him?

Relationships take time to grow. Sex is over sooner than a pot of coffee takes to brew.

In the end it is up to you to decide is sex more important to you than friendship that could grow into something?
 Valentino1

Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 71
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 7:01:15 AM
Hi there,

Sorry this happened to you. But, we all make mistakes in life, because we are human. Make this a lesson learned, and be more careful next time. Not until you are sure and confortable go to the next step. It is called respecting yourself first and then you will earn the respect of others. And be more picky, a decent guy would never take advantage of a situation or a person.

Good luck!
 jewelsnsky

Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 72
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WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 7:47:39 AM
Many men will take what they can get. If you give them everything they want without demanding anything guess what you will get nothing.

I do believe women have just as strong of a sex drive as men. However, ladies we are not wired the same. This is not just from social conditioning it is physiological. There are hormones released when you touch or make love. They are oxytocin and vasopressin. These chemicals are 10 fold in a women. They are also released during childbirth and when breast feeding. WHat they do is make you bond with the person you associate them with. They have proven the longer the courtship the longer the relationship will last (in general). It makes sense because it takes a man much longer to get the same amount of attachment (chemicals).

So are men mean? I dont think they are mean they just do not have strength of attachment as we do in the same length of time. They can but it takes longer. It is biology.

So you want to beat the system....DO NOT HAVE SEX TOO SOON. Give them a back rub...touch them alot...get the chemicals flowing...but do not do the deed until they look to be giving you what you are after....something more than just sex.

Is it frustrating...hell yes. However, what is worse...a broken heart or some sexual frustration.
 2feesRme

Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 73
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 7:54:10 AM
Keep Fishin'.... Most of them are looking for "one thing"... But some aren't... I've been going out with a real nice guy from here... he actually seems to want to spend time with me (with clothes on)...
 I Edward

Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 74
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 8:02:06 AM
mmm Ok Mean I agree with You there are JERKS Out there and Most of them all they want is sex (and they ruin it for us decent romantic guys) You may have that problem yet it seems to be the other way around in Edmonton most of the women won't even give a guy a chance to do coffee and what the world is sex ? I haven't had any for 4yrs and its not all its mayed up to be and thats the last thing on my mind when I'm on a date even a kiss would be a miracle! I'm willing to even travel to Calgary or Reddeer to date someone! I think that most of the edmonton women will end up in spinsterhood!
If I could meet someone and pass the 3 date limit and she would want to continue seeing me then she would be treated like a queen and no sex till marriage!
 lookfordate

Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 75
WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN
Posted: 1/14/2006 8:12:08 AM
I usually don't get a chance to prove I am mean. I know what I want but I do not know what you want. So please tell me we both might want the same thing. As for cheating men. there is a good chance he's with a cheating woman. So all I can said we all may be taking a chance and one may be as bad as the other.
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