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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 2/22/2007 6:41:43 PM | Well I didn't have to travel as far, but I was treated quite despicably in my mind as well. Although I was burned TWICE by the same girl. I know...I'm an idiot.
But when we first made contact and chatted, we seemed to click. As in your case, she was the one that recommended we meet at a pub near me. When she didn't show and had an excuse that some family stuff came up, I was disappointed, because she seemed pretty cool, but I was fine.
But then it was December 30th. She texts me that she has to go to this New Year's party and she doesn't want to feel like a fifth wheel. So she invites me to this party, and I say sure. I told her I was busy till 8:30ish and she says that's fine and that she'll check out the party and see how it is. She gives me her number and says I should call her when I'm done.
I call her when I get home at 9. No answer. I leave a message and hop in the shower.
I call her again at 10. This was the TSN turning point. I should have bailed here and found another party. By 11 I was bummed and pissed off. Why wouldn't she just answer the phone at 9 and make an excuse?
VERY FREAKIN' RUDE TO STAND SOMEONE UP ON NEW YEAR'S EVE!!!!!
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!! | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 2/27/2007 7:29:23 PM | | Humm...I would never travel more then 50 miles for any date...I mean why bother??...what would be the point of travelling thousands of miles to meet a stranger?..I have been on this site for some time and I wouldn't even date a woman from outside my area..Realistically, long distance relationships never work anyway..My advice is don't freakin bother man...There are plenty of women to meet in ones' backyard.. Stay on your leash... | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 2/28/2007 7:57:44 AM | | Dude get over it . As far asd I can see there was nothing there between you, and if thts how she felt then so be it. I never herd so much crying from a grown man in my life.Can you come and pick me up so I can book another hotel. Lame man...need a tissue. Did'nt even call to see if I was ok....loser. She owe's you nothing. She left you alone to fend in a unfamiliar city, sorry how old are you again? If this was the worst karma you have experienced then you nothing about life you big baby......If you wernt so desperate you would have done the same...........truth hurts | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/3/2007 10:09:39 PM | | I think you are right that Canadian women are picky, but if it makes you feel any better so are the guys. They want the perfect petite woman who is dumb & dependent. Ironically, the only decent guys I have corresponded with are Americans. Problem is how do I leave my home or visa versa. I wish you the best of luck meeting someone who deserves you and don't waste your time with these snobbish canadian women. | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/5/2007 7:58:11 PM | Here's my take......
People are selfish. Plain and simple. They want to protect their own feelings and interests. When she found out you didn't suite her needs, she blew you off. She was worried that if she was honest & up front with you, it hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. This in turn would make her feel bad about herself. And she wasn't about to have any of that. So, in order to protect herself and her feelings, she played the kid/family card, and strung you along, hoping you would take a hint. Then she rationalized it to the point that SHE DIDN'T feel bad.
But she failed to recognize by pulling this crap, it only made it worse for you & you ended up feeling worse than if she had been honest with you. You didn't get any closure. You have all kinds of questions and doubts in your mind. Was she lying? What didn't she like about you? But then again, it wasn't about you. It was all about her.
You're not the first, and you won't be the last. People don 't want to feel bad for making someone else feel bad, so they'd rather lie about it. But they don't realize that if they are honest in the first place, the other person wouldn't feel bad, so they wouldn't have to worry about feeling bad themself.
I've done it. I didn't want to break up with someone becasue I didn't want to hurt her & have to tell her all the things I didn't like about her. So, I just withdrew, became distant, started acting like a jerk, and basically forced her to break up with me. No guilt for me.
And that's what it's all about, isn't? Who else is going to look out for me besides me?
Does that make sense? | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/6/2007 1:12:09 AM | | Mojo, sorry to hear about the way you were treated. Harsh and unacceptable. I wish that people could just be honest with one another, especially in this crazy online world. Anyways, hope you haven't been completely soured on those of us who live north of the border! | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/6/2007 8:31:27 AM | Hey Mojo... you ever want to come tour T.O. I won't leave you stranded doll!!! On the serious side, that was absolutely terrible what she did. But why would she invite you up and not ship off her kids. I am a single Mom and I would never invite a man up to my neck of the woods without a tried and true babysitter in place, for the whole time the person would be here. Just not cool, sounds like she had issues...
Further to her not looking like her photos... met a man off this site and he looked NOTHING like the younger man in the photos on this site.. apparently he had 'touched' his photos... also NOT cool.. so Mojo, I guess the best advice is always have a backup date in the same city!!! Just kidding...maybe  | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/6/2007 4:54:13 PM | Mine!!!! Met a great guy... did two sorta dates,they were great, I got a really good vibe.... then right in the middle of a good conversation he logs off then logs back in, deletes all messages and cancel his ad the next day.... Hmmm hes the kicker, I am going through a nasty in house seperation from my verbally abusive ex boyfreind, who the last time we broke up, broke into my apartment, got all the names of guys I was talking to from Lava and would log in as me when I was at work....I tried to wrok past it, but now I have a feelig maybe this is what he did again and chased this guy away....it seems weird that he would just stop talking and log off and delete his ad....maybe it was something else, but the ex keeps telling me non specific things about my last date with the guy....which he could have found on emails to my Best Friend... I emailed the guy when I say his ad was deleted and asked what happened, that was Saturday, and I emailed him today asking specificaly if my ex or someone said something about me to him....I haven't heard back...now the ex is calling me a stalker because I haven't deleted the guy from my MSN....but he hasn't deleted me either.....so why should I.... so theres my bizarre POF story!!!! | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/6/2007 6:48:19 PM | That was HORRIBLE...the way she treated you was down right IGNORANT on her part. There's no reason in this world why anyone should be treated that way. You put forth ALOT of effort & expense to be treated so badly. I, myself, don't have a clue as to what can make some people be so heartless.
I'm sure everyone will agree...you handled the situation with the utmost dignity, tactfulness & calmness. You seem to have a heart of gold & you should stand up & give yourself a pat on the back for the way you handled this...you deserve it!
I am happy to see you "realize that most women are not like her"...& I say...thank you! Those of us whom are NOT like her certainly appreciate the credit you gave us for that...we really do!
Take care...& God bless you!  | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/7/2007 6:20:50 AM | Believe it or not. You are not the only one to experience that type of abandonment on a first day. At least you got to see your person. I was actually left at the airport. I got in on the Friday evening and waited to be picked up by my male friend. I waited at the airport for 2 hours, and yes, a phone charger is always a good idea. A guy who was working at one of the counters at the airport took a shine to me, and after telling him about my no show, gave me the number and address of a place in town of a hostel. I spent the night, sitting up in a chair, because the place was crawling with bed bugs, and I could not wait until morning to get out of there. I did have a good day that Saturday, and found a nice hotel close to the airport, where I spent the rest of the weekend pampering myself. It was the worst thing a person could do to another, and would never wish it on another. I have been stood up before and since, but that took the cake. I never been to that city before. Thank God for my personality, and charm, helped me get around and safely. His excuse was, another woman he was seeing before, suddenly showed up and wanted him again. But we all learn and grow from these experiences. I hope that nothing like that would ever happen to another woman. I know we all think we are smart, but you cant help who you put your trust in.
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/12/2007 1:29:17 AM | | It is the same pattern even in the online dating world. The nice guys get the crappy end of the stick. I can only speak from a guys point of view because I am a guy. Why is it that women seem to CLICK with a dirtbag, but a nice guy never gets any further than "let's just be friends"? I bet if you were a jerk, she would not have dumped you like that. I can tell you where you went wrong, but I make the same mistakes too. I know there are alot of good women in my city. The problem is, like good women everywhere else, they make themselves available to dirtbags only and they never give the nice guys a chance. Of course, most would say I am mistaken, but nobody has proved me wrong-Yet. | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/12/2007 5:40:13 AM | "She left me all alone, to fend for myself, in an unfamiliar city. That has got to be the worst karma anyone has signed up for since John Lennon was shot!"
I think that you are exaggerating here. You are an adult with traveling experience under your feetm and the city you were in was not .... (do not wish to name places/cities/countries much worse than this one).
"I still managed to have a good time. I'm pretty friendly and outgoing, so I met a few people, went all over town, found a great dance club and managed to meet up with some people who worked on my show."
See now? You did fine!!!
" Is there a lesson here? The obvious one is don't go more than 50 miles for a first date" ... ... IF YOU HAVE NEVER TRAVELED BEFORE!
"No, I think the real lesson here is "hope for the best and be prepared for the worst." If I had to do it all over again, I'd have booked the hotel room myself"
RIGHT!!!! First you exaggerate, then you put things into perspective!
THUS this is not "The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear". | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/12/2007 9:27:53 AM | | I had a similar story, a gentleman in Texas and I chatting a couple of weeks, seemed to really have alot in common, so he insisted on flying out to CA to see me, I told him that I would not be interested in continuing our possible "relationship" if I did not like his appearance, he came out to see me, I picked him up at LAX and I did not like his appearance, I dropped him off at his hotel, he was there 4 days and then left town. So it is true that traveling great distances can be disappointing. | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/12/2007 10:42:01 AM | I stumbled on this thread and ended up reading all 21 pages! I couldn't help but laugh, but at the same time, it makes you tremble at the "what if's" too
Sheeeeet! Mon, scary too!
The worst on-line dating thing I personally know about happened to areally nice guy I know, we've been friends since college. His first wife cheated on him and left. Second wife boffed every guy in the neighborhood, left and left him at 62 with an 11 yr old and a 17 yr old to raise. He was lonely, so got on a dating site. Talked to this woman from somewhere "off" (long distance) and they got along famously on the phone. She came to visit his house and apparently they had a good time. Got married, and as soon as the I do's were said, she decided his house wasn't big enough, good enough, and so on and that she would move in with him after he remodeled it to her satisfaction, but, she would take the new vehicle he had bought for her as she drove back to her state to await the remodel job.
Well, needless to say, there was a divorce immediately and she took a plane back to her home state, not the vehicle he had bought her. This guy is smart, has an MBA from a good university and a masters in another field as well. But a too-trusting Minesota farm boy with no guile in his heart
Makes me very mad that anyone would be so cruel to such a nice, trusting, guy, much less him be raked over by every woman he has ever cared for. But, at the same time, I realize that he doesn't have much judgment about picking women.
Fortunately, having worked in the mental health field a great deal during my medical career, and having dealt with people with true mental illnesses, as well as drug and alcohol problems, personality disorders and just plain garden variety WACKOs I'm a little less trusting in the human race as a whole than he is.
Not trusting anyone is a pretty bad and lonely life, but at the same time, if you don't use your head and anticipate that someone might be trying to scam you and you take them 100% at their word--as old P. T. Barnum said "there's a sucker born every minute." | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/15/2007 11:37:34 PM | Have you thought that maybe he was married or in a relationship and was about to get caught? Maybe it wasn't you or your ex at all.
Just reminding you that we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves....sometimes it relly is just them!
~m | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/16/2007 12:19:14 AM | | i dont think borderline really has anything to do with a date,,i have a friend who is from british columbia,,and he flew to toronto canada to meet the gal who he chatted with,,they chatted for quite some time,,so when he got to toronto,,he phoned up this girl,,and she didnt want to meet him,,he kept calling her and calling her,,she ditched him,,and he had no place to go,,and no family in toronto,,he didnt have much money to fly back,,he scrapped enough money for bus home,,so he told me that he would do it again,,and i thought he was crazy,,so when i havent seen him in while,,i would asked him,,where did you fly to see her next?lolz,, | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/20/2007 12:49:15 PM | Upon reading your story - I am very sorry it happened. I live in BC part of Canada and most of us are not like that. During reading your story and her many many excuses, I just got the feeling that something was not right. I don't think it had anything to do with you. I am very perceptive and I fully believe this girl is still married.
Please try not to put us all in her small little peg. She obviously has some problems and you are much better off without her. Glad your trip was somewhat saved though. Good luck to you.
Cheers | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/20/2007 1:18:25 PM | lilmisswitty... If he had been a true gentleman he would have been standing at the gate waiting for you! Obviosuly it was 12 hours of hell, but be glad, it could have been months, if his reply is to call you names. Chalk it up to 12 hours, but in th ened you are better off without him!!! | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/20/2007 3:00:15 PM | I can't believe the nerve of some people. IF someone was coming from far away to meet me I would insist on them staying in a hotel and would make a ton of suggestions about where they could stay and help them out in any way I could. I would NOT abandon them either. If things weren't clicking, I would be honest about it and still hang out as friend and try and make it a good trip anyway. I keep my word about phonecalls and meeting times etc., it's just plain rude and ignorant not to. I think it's a pretty huge deal if someone is willing to put themselves out there and make the effort to fly out to meet another ~ at the very least, they should be treated with respect.
If I were the one doing the travelling, I wouldn't go without the ability to make sure I had the means to take care of myself in case things didn't go so well ~ and I would make sure I had cancellation insurance and the ability to take a return flight home sooner if need be. I would also insist on staying in a hotel, research the area and educate myself before making that trip. It speaks to the world we live in that we should even have to think that far ahead... almost like expect the worst and hope for the best.
I'd gotten to know a guy from another site through chats. He was going to be in California for the month of December last year and wanted to come up to see me over xmas. I told him I'd help him find a hotel and even recommended a few in the area. He left me an offline during his drive to California telling me when he was due to arrive there and that he'd be in touch when he arrived. I haven't heard from him since. I have no clue if he ever made it, if something happened to him, or if he just bailed. If he is OK, then for him to just message me and be honest about whatever was going on would have gone a lot further with me. This sudden disappearing act is totally uncool ~ but then what do I know? Something might have happened. I've never seen him sign in again... so it's anyone's guess.
Bottom line is respecting the efforts of the party travelling and being a decent human being to them even if things don't go well. | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/21/2007 2:21:45 AM | Suck it up Princess, if your in need of having to be looked after or cared for or whatever, the laugh's are on you. Sure you went to meet this lady and maybe all wasn't as spectacular as you had hoped, but what man put's himself in the position where he worries about a "very expensive cab ride". Part of your little rant states that many people told you you would love the city, so go see it, if she isn't available she not. As for having her pick your hotel, come on the internet has many hotel's, with addresses on there website and everything, pick your own. Sorry if I'm a little crass, but i've dropped into a few cities without a final destination in mind and have had a great time. Question, would you wear out your cell phone batteries if your friday night date somehow made herself unavailable? Well maybe you would!!! | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/21/2007 2:45:17 AM | | I have just read your post, what a horrible way to treat another human being. Not your fault though, unfortunatley there are a lot of weird and wonderful people on the net. You were just unlucky. good luck in the future,Im sure you will find Ms Right!! | |
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| The WORST Plenty Of Fish story you will EVER hear Posted: 3/23/2007 9:48:17 AM | | Unfortunately this seems to be a norm that is reoccuring a lot. You'll find a lot of people aren't as honest or open as they say they are. The only thing I can say about that lesson is you have to think about #1 first, if you don't who will? Keep that in mind for the next time. Most "Canadians" aren't like that and will treat you with respect but as individuals there are always issues. In my opinion if you can't be honest with somebody who sets this all up to either come hang out or for a first date and they've come a long way, karma will turn around and kick you in the ass. I'm hoping more people can be honest because there really isn't much of it around and those that are I take my hat off to you, keep it up | |
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| The Worst Is Not Yours....... get a grip Posted: 3/23/2007 2:48:55 PM | You liked her- she seemed to like you Your vibes came across to her when you met. She may h ave lost her head in agreeing to this meeting. Maybe when it sunk she had second thoughts with kids and all and you being a stranger. She protrayed herself terribly. It was very rude what she put you through. Did you go there for a sexual encounter? It kinda sounds like it. I think she got scared and figured at the last minute, " yeeks, he is not even from this country, what am I doing?"
SOrry about your adventure, now carry on , forget about it. The lesson. Its a life lesson and only you know the answer cause its your life. | |
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