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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:04:51 PM | Since you went their!
If you have ever came out of the Woods with One Sock,Or no Underwear,or missing a Sleeve to your shirt!
If you are laughing You Are A Redneck!"Because you know exactly what I am Talking about" | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/1/2006 2:39:50 AM | if your son died in Iraq and the Army Brass deemed it "to dangerous"
to venture into your trailer park and tell you in person
if your daughter gets fired for turning tricks at the local eatery-
and not MAGIC tricks
if your other daughter decided to star in Porno flicks for the exposure-
sure fire way to break into modeling !
if you rent time with your 6 year old to the local child molester to pay the phone bill...
and if your 11 year old schedules your sexual events ! your little PIMP
Where'd you come up with this bunch of BS?? This thread started for jokes, not what's in your dirty mind. Might look in your own back yard for that type of enjoyment. If you don't know about people and what type jokes they call jokes, then, keep your mouth shut. | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/1/2006 6:15:51 AM | You have 3 personalities and now that your kid has turned one, you fight over who's gonna have sex w/ her that night.
HMMMMM, I know this man!!!!!!!!!!!
The same goes for this post. What the heck are you people trying to do? Jokes are jokes, but, when you start posting about this kind of junk, you are not joking, just showing how perverted or dumb you really are. | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:47:14 AM | ...its been a common thing to learn ta kiss among cousins when yer rednecks...most of tha time thas as fer as it goes....when it does go further, its incest.....and when someone talks about having sex with little children, they sound as if a crime of this magnitude is a joking matter.........but its not.
shame on you! where is yer compassion for children and where is yer respect fer yourself?
to get back on topic..........being part of a redneck family means ya take keer of yer own..an when somebody hurts yer lil girl child, yer brothers an yer cuz'ns string 'im up in a tree an cut his testicles off ta feed 'im to im....... | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/1/2006 5:46:53 PM | you have every jerry springer show taped on [vhs] lol not dvd that is too extravagant for you. Also you have jerry springer posters all over your house and you find yourself yelling JERRY, JERRY with the other clones when the cue is set lmao  | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/2/2006 8:01:02 PM | if your family auditioned for jerry springer but were turned down because they were just TOO WEIRD!!!
Ok, who let it leak about me???
Uncle Donald???? Is that you???? he he he | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/3/2006 7:10:57 AM | ...how bout if yer fam'ly get togethers are held on tha jerry springer show?.....
.....or ya havta watch americas most wanted to see whatcher kin folks up to?
.....ya ever snuck inta tha post office ta get a pitcher of yer cuz'n offa tha wall? | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/3/2006 1:28:28 PM | you ever bought tampons at the Goodwill.... I post this one because I just saw it done.
Come to think of it.... what woman looked at her tampons and thought... "Hmmm, I think I'll donate these." ?????? | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/3/2006 2:08:10 PM | .
Your double-wide is sinking under the kitchen, so you remove a jack from one of the old trucks in the front yard to prop it back up so the kitchen floor is flat again.
You walk the couple miles down to a cousin’s farm to borrow his team of horses to drag mama’s pickup truck back out of the ditch cause she missed the driveway again when she came home tipsy last night. The couple extra dents “don’t hurt the runnin’ any, though,” so you inform the neighbors that mama’s good to go again tonight.
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/4/2006 6:18:49 PM | You are an extreme redneck if..........
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are Gentlemen start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And, saving the best for last...
An East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had
9 children. They went to the doctor to see about
getting the husband "fixed." The doctor asked them
why, after nine children would they choose to do this.
The husband replied that they had read in a recent
article that one out of every ten children being born
in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a
Mexican baby because neither of them could speak
Spanish. | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/5/2006 6:29:08 AM | Reply to thief on cross - To answer that question I think women that were done with menopause. LOL = Rednecks go thru menopause at 35, I mean they start having sex at 9 with poppa Jim Bob  | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/5/2006 6:58:32 AM | sas, i love you!
.....yer prolly a redneck ifn ya ever follered semi's around waitin fer them ta hit a deer so's ya got fresh meat.......
......ifn ya can call a gator fer dinner ...
......ya know how ta wring a chicken's neck......
.....ya ever had a hawg butcherin an fought over who got tha crispy fried curly tail......
...... squirrel brains an mountain oysters were served as hor derves at yer last weddin ta yer third cuz'n..........
.......yer grandpaw had ta outrun tha revenuers a time or two.....but now yer uncles took over tha fam'ly still cuz they can run faster....
an by tha way, ifn ya had 22 wimminfolk from arkysaw standin on tha side of tha road.....do ya know whatcha got?......................
a full set of teeth! | |
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| You might be a redneck if..................
Posted: 6/7/2006 11:15:56 AM |
if your son died in Iraq and the Army Brass deemed it "to dangerous"
to venture into your trailer park and tell you in person
if your daughter gets fired for turning tricks at the local eatery-
and not MAGIC tricks
if your other daughter decided to star in Porno flicks for the exposure-
sure fire way to break into modeling !
if you rent time with your 6 year old to the local child molester to pay the phone bill...
and if your 11 year old schedules your sexual events ! your little PIMP
(these are fictitious representations any similarity to real people is purely by coincidence
ONE MORE REMARK ABOUT MY KIDS LIKE THIS AND I PROMISE YOU, THAT THE NEXT STEP WILL BE TO THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES....
HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY SON BEING KILLED WHILE IN IRAQ...
YOU"VE WENT WAYYYYYY TOO FAR THIS TIME | |
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