|
|
|
|
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 7/11/2008 2:08:07 PM | What ever happened to trust?
It is (to use an analogy) like the kid who begs for a pet promising to feed, walk it, play with it, etc. and then when they have the pet it is the parent who has to do all the work.
And, only three times a week? What are you, a momma's boy? hehe See, how does it feel? Just because a woman wants to wait, all of a sudden, she's frigid? Yeah, right!
I also have a noticed friends whose girlfriends/fiancees got cold pretty fast after the ring was slipped on...not saying that means it has to happen of course but "forever" is a long time. So if I was expected to "wait" until after marriage then I will expect that after marriage I will not have to "wait" any longer.
And you wanting to make love only three times a week, makes you a momma's boy, right? Getting the idea?
I said at least three times a week and do not recall using the word "only." But then I not only know what I wrote but can also read it 
| |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 7/11/2008 2:21:11 PM | So I'm interested in how many men would wait till marriage if they met the right woman? Even if you were both NOT virgins, do you think you could wait if that was her choice?
Yes I could.
I'm not saying you can't do other things, but the actual intercourse...could you wait for it
Been there once....she gave in before I did.
Also, what if you went on a first date and the girl tells you she's waiting for marraige, how would you react? Not ever call her again? Or maybe stick around?
If I'm really into her I'll wait . | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 7/11/2008 2:24:43 PM | Zangie-
To be fair, women have used the "car" analogy too. It hasn't, unfortunately, been limited to the men. (Though it makes me cringe a bit... as I think sexuality is a bit more complicated than a "test drive.")
People also forget that for a lot of Western history marriage was purely a social/political thing. Families were often bound together based on what was to be gained socially and financially.
The religious aspects entered in slowly in a lot of places. (Remember, Christianity had to travel over a lot of areas over time.) Mostly it is because of the fact that when you wed you tend to want to have a large party. This means you need a place large enough to accommodate it, and in most places, unless you happened to be near a large city, that meant a church.
(I need to re-read the Bible, though. I don't remember seeing much sex. (Aside from the occasional affair.) I don't remember many rules outside of "do not covet." Much of what people quote in regards to sex/sexuality seems like stretching to me. But then, I did grow up Lutheran, and marriage, while important, wasn't a sacrament. So my Bible training was more of a creation, 10 commandments, who Christ was-what Christ did kind of thing.) | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 7/12/2008 1:14:40 AM | Nowhere in the Bible does it say "No Sex Before Marriage", yet we teach it to our kids. It does say "Thou shalt not commit adultery" which means you can't have sex with someone who is already married to someone else. But if you're single and your partner is single... go for it!!!
I know a few kids in my church who asked their parents if they waited til after they were married. Many admitted they didn't and don't want their kids to make the same mistake! Bad choice of words though, as kids then think their birth was a mistake. | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:03:55 AM |
(Msg 2870) Thus, the stigma of being a 'cold fish', just because you choose to wait, is nothing more than that -- a stigma. And, the stigma that the person won't be any good, in bed is just that...a stigma.
It is not just about being good in bed. It's about the desire or frequency of wanting to be in bed.
People have different sex drives and if there's one thing that's been repeated, ad nauseam, is people should not have sex if they don't feel like it. So, how is one to know how often their prospective partner will feel like having sex with them? How will the person know unless they do have sex?
Everyone is not the same way in bed just like everyone doesn't kiss the same or expresses themselves the same or dresses the same or decorates their house the same or does anything else the same.
Considering many folks here are older, meaning they have had sex for a number of years and know what they like and don't like, are they going to be happy changing their approach to sex?
People talk about one wanting to please their partner but let's be realistic. Who is going to say, "Well, I always enjoyed sex this way but for you I'm going to do it that way and I will enjoy it!" It's not going to happen. If there is any validity to the expression "being set in one's ways" there isn't anything it has a stronger bearing on than sex.
The average person at 40+ years of age has been having sex for the last 20 years. "Set in their ways" would be an understatement. To assume two people will just naturally fit together, that good sex will just happen, that their expectation of frequency will automatically match, is naive beyond comprehension.
How important is sex? Easy question to answer. How important is fidelity? How important is faithfulness? How important is monogamy?
There lies the answer. | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:57:10 AM | Quoting Brazen..
I'm in the test drive club. If everything was perfect, but the sex was horrible, it would be a tough choice but I want a whole life... I'm not willing to risk us not being sexually compatible.
My question is:
Ok Just What is sexually compatablle according to you... | |
|
| |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:37:21 AM | Those who are not on the same page of sexual behavior should not get in a relationship together anyway. Why should I accuse you of this or that or why would you tell you I should do this or that if one can just look for those with the same moral values.
I would not want to find a virgin, but rather someone who even if not virgin is not continuously using whoever to satisfy his sexual needs and who has not had many sexual partners. It has to be someone who goes months or years without having sex after getting out of relationships even though he has high sexual needs, and this is something he does by his choice and not because he does not need sex or no one wants to have sex with him.
With virgins, you could not possibly know whether you were compatible because even they would not know how often they prefer to have sex, especially if then do not even masturbate; however, if they do masturbate, they might have almost an accurate idea of how sexual they are. If they do not even masturbate and virgins, you might get to a conclusion that they are completely asexual, which might be close to the truth.
There is no need to check whether or not you get along sexually, as long as you know that they want to have sex as often as you do, and what you do in sex is not as important as whether or not you love each other and are attracted to each other sexually or physically.
I do not think that it is right that some are completely immoral and irresponsibly have sex with whomever and at the same time look for someone with few sexual partners and responsible sexual behavior. It is not fair to look for something you are not or can not be. That is why I think that people should look for someone on the same page of sexual behavior to have a happy relationship. | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:08:27 PM | This because you have expectations and do not except others as they are nor possible believe that you and this amazing girl that you have jsut met are capable of making sex awsome... Sex is one part if every think alse is great that wil be great too... providing both have the attitude to work on it.....
RS
 | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2008 12:01:15 AM | I honestly didn't read every post here... because it's already a long thread. My 2 cents...
-I don't have a holier-than-thou approach to this subject. Having said this, if I love my lady, I would be on the same page with her, and please her rather than please myself. It's fine with me: relationships are not exclusively sexual. Sex is something wonderful, that is to be shared by people who really love each other. (Bash me, I don't mind. Having sex competitions and playing games with ladies is not my style after all-sorry, I do not mean any offense, but it's just what I believe.)
-I don't mind whether she is virgin or not (I find that silly), but it matters to me what she thinks about this subject. That is, if she wants to wait until marriage, I have to respect her choice.
-In a relationship, the companionship is (IMHO) more important than mere sexual relationships. Is your partner a friend, or a sexual robot? I would rather have the friend. Again, sex is very important, but both the emotional attachment and intimate friendship are as important, if not much more.
-If you don't agree with her, please just tell her how you feel, and be nice, and leave her for somebody else that will respect her wishes. Don't play games, nor force her to do something she dislikes, nor get her drunk to get advantage of her. These horrible things happen sometimes, and it's just not right.
-Relationships=Friendship, Love, , honesty, RESPECT, selflessness. "I want to have sex with you NOW, to test the waters (or for whatever reason, maybe you are just needy at the time)," is VERY selfish. Again, please respect her choice.
I realize many will strongly disagree with me, and that's ok. :) It's your opinion, it's your choice. Great partner-friends can have great sex when they BOTH agree is a great time for them to do so. It's not stupid to wait after marriage, even if it may sound a bit old-fashioned. It's just a choice a couple has taken, and it is to be respected. Sex is not the be-all, end-all of a relationship. Important, yes. But it is not the only meaning of a relationship. I realize that there are some psychological problems, and sex phobias that perhaps need some counseling (like a partner's traumatic past inhibiting his/her sexuality) but barring such circumstances, there's nothing to be surprised about somebody's choice of not having sex until after marriage- whether still virgin or not.
In the case of the OP, if you disagree with her on this very important subject, it's best to either agree with her with your heart, out of love and commitment (honestly changing the way you think for the sakes of the relationship) or let her know how you feel, and politely leave.
Too many cents here; peace too all, let's agree or agree to disagree. :) | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2008 6:09:19 PM | | Simply put, one must try before they buy. This is for both men AND women. Unless you truly are so fanatical about moral and/or religious beliefs that your view of everything is skewed, any adult relationship needs to progress to intimacy before lifelong committment. If you do have fanatical beliefs, then find someone who shares them in the cult.....er, church....you regularly attend! | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2008 6:32:12 PM | Simply put, one must try before they buy[sic]. This is for both men AND women. Unless you truly are so fanatical about moral and/or religious beliefs that your view of everything is skewed, any adult relationship needs to progress to intimacy before lifelong committment.
damm! if ONLY my parents had known that BEFORE they got married, they might not be stuck after 46 years, happier'n ever, in the best relationship i know of!!
dude, i'm cynical as HEL about marriage, but even I know your post is simply NOT TRUE!! | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:19:22 PM | I met a wonderful born again virgin man who wants to wait for marraige with me!
all this test drive business is horse crap!
You can kick the tires plenty without intercourse. I have inspected the merchandise and test drove him with out him sticking it in, and let me tell you, if he can do that to me with his hands, only God knows what he can do with his penis!
I have no need to put it in before I marry him. He ROCKS my world, even if his unit fell off or went limp for some reason down the road.
We have talked about our likes and dislikes enough to know that we are not into anal, BJ's are great and he loves to eat a woman. What more is there to know??? | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:28:09 PM | Been there and adopted her kids, tho now after 22 yrs divorced (self-improvement group that used cult techniques & hypnotism grabbed her)
IMO, sex can be just a physical or spiritual (i.e. Tantra-type real connection between a gal & a guy) IMO, the latter is hotter!
In this world of immediate gratification, I am a now divorced male (again after 20 yrs marriage and divorce 7 yrs ago) that totally believes, senses through intuition how much higher a scale that this is and has experienced a Tantra-related connection that some of you might never have the pleasure.
When you discover someone who is the "glove" for your hand or vice - versa, you just know it! The sex is secondary BUT the best because of the connection. Seriously, anyone of us can do the Rodney Dangerfield sex thing: "My wife told me she wanted to have sex. So I asked her if she wanted to be alone." !
Peace
G-Dawg | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:44:00 PM |
(Msg 2893) We have talked about our likes and dislikes enough to know that we are not into anal, BJ's are great and he loves to eat a woman. What more is there to know???
Oh, maybe how often one likes sex.
What is required to get a person in the mood.
What would turn a person off the mood.
Those three things are what takes time to discover. A couple wouldn't just sit and discuss what activities they enjoyed. They would do them. | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:35:13 PM | oh we have discussed those topics also, we talk about sex ad nauseum, that is all we talk about sometimes, I mean if we are not doing it, be better discuss it throughly, and you certainly know what turns your partner on with a little foolin around!
There is just no rational reason to go there first...I can't think of any other than pure desire and lack of self control. I'm not saying it is easy and we aren't petting heavy.
It boils down to what is more important to you, sex or the relationship?
Now or forever? I was a now girl until I met the love of my life. Now forever is more important than my physical needs at the moment. | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/3/2008 2:19:29 AM | eh...I still stand by my original post. My parents used to preach about how they waited...until us kids got smart enough to do the math & realized the oldest sibling was born only 6 months after the wedding. My mom was the "Good Catholic Girl" and wanted to retain that image. Further proving religion is a crock...but thats another topic.
48 years of marriage later, though, my folks are still going strong. So, in my view, that alone debunks the myth that waiting for someone is going to translate to a longer-lasting relationship. At age 35, Im WAY past the point of dealing with someone's ethical issues about sex. If youve got some sorta hangup about it, chances are we'd never make it to the dating phase to begin with.
Life's too short to hold yourself back because the "Moral Right" says you should. One may as well remain single if youre going to fill your datibg life with "rules" like that. | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/3/2008 3:01:43 AM | GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Believe me, these days, in my humble experience, you should ask the ladies if THEY'D wait for the FELLA!.
I don't often post in the forums but they're such a chuckle to read at times but, on this occasion, I couldn't resist. :)
Dave. | |
|
|
| Page 116 of 121
|
81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121 |
|
Home
login 
....However, the chances of me running into a woman that makes me wait is pretty slim
