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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2009 4:58:48 AM | | Absolutely. But the last woman I dated jumped my bones. Wasn't expecting it, didn't push for it but neither did I push it away. So let's not put this all on men only here. Women sometimes want to have sex more than men do and if a man says let's wait, he'll more than likely come across as messed up or not interested. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2009 7:32:34 AM | Since I came to Christ, now I respect that gift of Sex and it's something sacred. Also that would be unfair having somebody waiting and believing that someone is out there, only to find out he /she is going to eat somebody else's scraps. But also guys that doesn't make me holly, I'm not and it's only God who is Holly and perfect.
I just shared what I heard as a single person that God made us to be Emotional, Spiritual and Sexual beings. Therefore there are boundaries for sex, that gift is for married couples only. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/24/2009 12:21:43 AM | Marriage is a primordial belief to subjugate women under the authority of a man as a piece of ownership or property. Marriage is used to control others and religious aspects manages to remove our sexuality from our lives before people got married. We are animals and are made to have sex with anyone. That being said, I would not wait till marriage and would get married anyway. I need the tax breaks.  | |
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| Reply To #1
Posted: 2/24/2009 7:50:39 PM | Aw, hell to the no!!! Ho's!!!???? If that's the case men have had women beat a zillion times over being THE biggest (quote/unquote, Ho's on the planet). Man. Please! Women today ARE loose and men have gotten a lot worse than they used to be, too. The tables have turned with a vengence. And because you don't like it we have to be "Ho's". Hmm. You don't sound like you believe what you say either, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I think you're right. Two people IN LOVE should either be able to wait or JUST GO AHEAD AND GET MARRIED without waiting. Please. It's not all that complicated. Years ago people got married and then had sex. That, to me is the right thing. But then again, I have lost a few relationships because I'm one of the ones who believe in SEX after marriage. I didn't always but I'm through with all that and have been for some time now. I like it the way it is and I'm doing just fine. When I meet someone who is right for me we will either get married or we'll be friends.
Peace | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/24/2009 9:35:37 PM | | While I could wait for sex until marriage personally, it does, in fact involve the woman you are with. My ex-girlfriend and I had sex when we had been dating for 4 1/2 months. She wanted to do it. She was ready. It didn't really matter to me because I was willing to wait for it. Personally, I don't care if it ever happens. A relationship, in my eyes, is more than just instant physical gratification. It's about the unity of two souls on an equal and level plane. | |
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| I'm sure its been said....
Posted: 2/26/2009 10:11:59 AM | | ...but a woman who wanted to wait until marriage by definition would not be "the right woman" for me.... | |
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| I'm sure its been said....
Posted: 2/26/2009 11:01:48 AM | | I had a ex coworker that been married for 4 years and dated her for 3 years before that. And he was told by her before they got married that they will be doing it like rabbits. Till this day they have not consummated their marriage so that is 7 years in all dating and marriage with her that they have not been sexually involved. He told me about 3 years ago that he accidently walked in on his wife after a shower and she yelled and screamed while covering up her body as if a stranger walked in on her. So, because of that i couldn't picture dating and being engaged with her for a 1 or 2 years or more with out a sexual relationship with my significant other. And also because my brothers, mom and dad, relatives, friends and coworkers sex lives have been pretty much nonexsitent after marriage. | |
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| You'll have to pardon me...
Posted: 2/26/2009 3:43:52 PM |
I had a ex coworker that been married for 4 years and dated her for 3 years before that. And he was told by her before they got married that they will be doing it like rabbits. Till this day they have not consummated their marriage so that is 7 years in all dating and marriage with her that they have not been sexually involved. He told me about 3 years ago that he accidently walked in on his wife after a shower and she yelled and screamed while covering up her body as if a stranger walked in on her.
...but I'm calling BS on this one.
Yes, there are sexless marriages...but they don't start off that way.
Only a MORON of the highest order would remain married to a woman he'd never had sex with...and no, alimony would not be an issue, assuming he annulled the marriage early enough. No court would award alimony to a woman who refused to have ex with her husband in their first 6 months of marriage. indeed, you could argue there was no marriage, since it had never been consummated.
This is BS.... | |
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| You'll have to pardon me...
Posted: 2/26/2009 4:36:01 PM | Depends, some people of both sexes just aren't that sexually motivated.
The OP question....no way would I wait, talk about hang ups about sex. I can only imagine what someone thinks of something as common as sex if they want to wait years before having it. *shudder* | |
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| You'll have to pardon me...
Posted: 2/26/2009 6:04:27 PM | Message 3139,
It's definetly not a lie. Me and several of the coworkers warned him not to expect to have sex like rabbits after marriage but i would never imagine anything that bad. And we also told him the only reason she want to get married because she's not getting asked by anyone on a date, she's ashamed about her weight, and her fear of being alone. Which, is the same reason that he want leave her because they both are severly overweight, has no confidence, they both have never dated anyone else. So, they both feel that this maybe their only chance of marriage. I've seen more people show more affection to their own kids with a hug or kiss on the cheek than i have seen them show affection among one another.
At one point me and the coworkers felt bad for him but i have seen how rude he has treated her on a several occasion and his constant temper tantrums at work. So, to us he's getting what he deserves. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/26/2009 6:29:42 PM | | As a woman I wouldn't marry a guy I hadn't slept with first it might be disasterous and you're stuck with him, however I am a great believer in waiting for a time when you are emotionally stable and comfortable with sleeping with someone. Still everyone thinks differently and you can ususally tell more or less how good it will be after some rolling around together | |
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| I'm sure its been said....
Posted: 2/26/2009 7:50:03 PM |
...but a woman who wanted to wait until marriage by definition would not be "the right woman" for me....
Amen to that!! The opposite side of the same coin.
Look waiting until it's *right* is one thing - waiting until marriage? I don't even care what my parents and grandparents tried to convince us that people did in "their day". I know my dad wasn't thinking *gee I'd like to marry that lady - that would be swell* when he saw my mom in a swimsuit back in the day. The fact that I'm the youngest of 4 and mom was 40 when she had me tells ya something as-well.
I never bought all of that that stuff. I think they were also all full of cr_p. They may have rushed into getting married to get to the *good stuff* though. Maybe that did happen a lot more than it does today. I also feel that maybe many of those marriages wouldn't have even happened if they knocked boots for a while first. Some that shouldn't have happened.
That doesn't tell me that pre-marital sex is *bad* it tells me that trying to force - fit a relationship is *bad*. I can't buy a car without a test drive first. My mom used to say the *classic* "why buy the cow when the milk is free?" about me and my ex-wife before we got married. She failed to express - "what if the milk sucks?" Then I certainly won't buy the cow either. It's better to know though. What if the cow doesn't even give milk? What if the cow is just a lazy bum or a mad cow? I don't want to buy that.
Sex is a natural drive, it's as much a part of who we are as eating and breathing.
Marriage is a product of society and an exclusively *human* institution as-well as a legal contract.
Now personally, I could go my whole life without ever being married again, but without sex?!? I don't think so. It's like asking me to go without food or oxygen. Marriage does not guarantee a happy, healthy functional relationship.
Could I wait? First of all, I have no *plan* to marry again, so there's no way I could be with someone like that. I'm not saying I will never marry again, just not if that's the sole aim, goal and foundation of the relationship, then nah, I'll pass. If she's only interested in being married and not interested in having a good relationship, then I'm not interested. I've already had that type.
Mike | |
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| You'll have to pardon me...
Posted: 2/26/2009 8:09:18 PM |
I had a ex coworker that been married for 4 years and dated her for 3 years before that. And he was told by her before they got married that they will be doing it like rabbits. Till this day they have not consummated their marriage so that is 7 years in all dating and marriage with her that they have not been sexually involved. He told me about 3 years ago that he accidently walked in on his wife after a shower and she yelled and screamed while covering up her body as if a stranger walked in on her.
I could almost believe this. I was sorta - semi-friendly (yes-platonically-thank god too) with a woman who told me she was married to this one guy for like 5 months, she told me that during the whole marriage she only had sex with him twice!! She had absolutely no reason to lie to me about this either. She even asked me if that was *bad*. I almost collapsed when she actually asked me this.
She basically told me this guy ended-up being a real loser. No job, no motivation to do anything, screwed-up her credit in some kinda deal on a car, past criminal record, etc., etc. I can only imagine that not getting sex was certainly contributing to the lack of motivation or desire to live right or do anything right by his (so-called) wife.
I mean - TWICE - in 5 months?!? Holy GOD!!
This was the creepier part of it all:
She still had the wedding pictures all over her apartment, pictures of her and her ex, etc., etc. As if this very brief *marriage* (could you even call that a marriage?) was some kind of *great accomplishment* for her and in her life.
I stray as far as possible from women who only seem to have marriage on their minds without wanting any kind of a real long term relationship involving sex. That definitely means marriage is all they care about. That's not someone I want anything to do with. Marriage doesn't make a relationship work, sorry. Especially after hearing the story of the woman I knew. She really turned out to be a pretty messed-up b_tch too. She and I aren't even close to friends anymore, she was definitely a whack-job / psycho head-case as I truly found out later on.
I would deem her definitely not safe for *normal* society.
Mike | |
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| You'll have to pardon me...
Posted: 2/26/2009 8:22:46 PM | | I don't have a problem waiting. It would be very hard but I think I could do it. | |
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| You'll have to pardon me...
Posted: 2/28/2009 11:39:19 AM | | When I saw this question posted, all I could do was think about my younger brothers. I also thought about what I might tell my children. I think if you truly care about someone you will respect them. I would tell anyone I loved they were worth waiting for. If you can't say that is the person you want to spend your life with, how deep is your commitment? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/28/2009 4:57:31 PM | At my age, I've already had sex.... several times. LOL!
Sure... I could wait. Sex is not the most important part of a relationship and not what I'm looking for in a partner.
I'm not sure I could go without holding hands, soft kisses, and comfortable hugs though.  That'd be asking a little too much.  | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/28/2009 5:17:32 PM | Could I? Sure, I am more than able to take care of any needs I have my self.
I think the anser to this question for me has already been summed up, I'm over the game stage, I'm not looking to teach a 40 year old virgin, all though I do believe there is a god I don't follow all the rules, and I wont be jumping in to a 6 month along marriage.
So if she's wanting to wait then she isn't the right one for me. | |
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