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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/11/2006 7:25:23 PM | @msannthrope: thanks for the kind words! Maybe sex is equally important to women, I only said that because when say I'm with a woman and we're having a friendly conversation, sex sometimes comes up as a topic of discussion and more times than not it is downplayed as an important thing. With guy friends, they never can get enough. Personally I think there is a time and place for everything. SEX included.
@designingwoman: I can go along with the engagement idea. But I don't think a guy would ever think this, though: "I really want sex with my lady, so I'm going to ask her to marry me. Or maybe I'll just get lucky and my lady will propose to me instead!" I still say though the time to have sex with your partner is when you both want to share physical intimacy. Waiting for engagement before "engaging" in sex seems a bit conservative but probably works for some.
Waiting for marriage is just too risky because of divorce laws and difficulty in sometimes getting a divorce. | |
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Ooli
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 328 | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/11/2006 8:13:19 PM |
The question isnt based on the physical attraction, clearly it was there...it was the "kissing" .... would you stay with a woman who refused to kiss you??? gimme a break - calisweets
I didn't say it was based on physical attraction. I said "the physical" and a kiss is certainly physical. If we follow some of the logic presented in this thread, then we are forced to conclude that the women in that thread are being hopelessly shallow, and are obviously controlled by our consumer-driven culture of instant gratification.
We can only pity them. If only they could learn to truly value relationships, instead of focusing on things like that. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/11/2006 8:57:45 PM | LOL !!!! Sure he'll wait on you girl....while he'z out gettin laid sideways from all the other horney, sexually free spirited women, without religious hang-ups men don't sleep on the subject of sex baby....they ...eat it on up !!!! Facts of life is this....no matter if ur dating, engaged, married....even in love ...The Man Will Still Cheat !!!! Mark my words ......always jimmy it up !!!  | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/11/2006 9:36:15 PM | Yes, maybe my choice of waiting till engagement is a touch conservative. Since I am not very religious, I arrived at this decision based on logic rather than religion. Sex too early causes problems, but also waiting until marriage is a problem with the risk of possible divorce over unforeseen sexual problems. I feel that it's a logical point toward commitment, while still having the chance to end the relationship before the wedding takes place if there is that much sexual incompatibility.
However, with that said, I am explaining my own logical decision, and have no desire to criticize other people's decisions since everyone is different. Some would do it sooner than I, while others would wait until the wedding day. Well it's not my business, and I'm not here to tell anyone what to do but to simply explain the logic behind my choice.
But oddly enough, I am as politically liberal as you can get! 
All the best,
DW | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/11/2006 10:07:05 PM |
Yes, maybe my choice of waiting till engagement is a touch conservative. Since I am not very religious, I arrived at this decision based on logic rather than religion. Sex too early causes problems, but also waiting until marriage is a problem with the risk of possible divorce over unforeseen sexual problems. I feel that it's a logical point toward commitment, while still having the chance to end the relationship before the wedding takes place if there is that much sexual incompatibility. However, with that said, I am explaining my own logical decision, and have no desire to criticize other people's decisions since everyone is different. Some would do it sooner than I, while others would wait until the wedding day. Well it's not my business, and I'm not here to tell anyone what to do but to simply explain the logic behind my choice. - designingwoman
While I disagree with your position (in regards to how I would choose to act in my own life), I respect both the way you have presented yourself, and the tone you use. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/11/2006 10:48:36 PM |
I didn't say it was based on physical attraction. I said "the physical" and a kiss is certainly physical.
you still didn't answer the question...would you stay with a woman who refused to kiss you?
My opinion on that subject....Kissing is very important to me....ME...doesnt make me shallow....its part of showing affection....doesnt make a person shallow. Shallow is dating someone just for their looks, their status in life, their car, their home, the family they belong too, their income..... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:51:42 PM |
you still didn't answer the question...would you stay with a woman who refused to kiss you? My opinion on that subject....Kissing is very important to me....ME...doesnt make me shallow....its part of showing affection....doesnt make a person shallow. Shallow is dating someone just for their looks, their status in life, their car, their home, the family they belong too, their income..... - calisweets
Do me a favor. Read what I've written in the last three or four pages of this thread. You don't have to read it carefully. Just glance over it.
It will create a context in which my comments in the other thread will probably appear a bit more ironic than you evidently understood them to be. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 3:00:10 AM |
Unless you're going to take this to email, or some private form of communication, then you don't have any place to complain when someone else answers your silly questions. I'm sure you didn't like my pointing out your blatant hypocrisy, but then again, hypocrites rarely enjoy that sort of thing.
Hypocrite...hmmm.
I do believe it was you, in your quest to be forum hero, who took it upon yourself to PUBLICLY address it when I quite accurately labelled someone a "serial fornicator". YOU hijacked this thread and made THAT the topic of discussion rather than what it was intended for.
If you were SO CONCERNED about hypocrisy, you would have written me an email or IM.
As the saying goes...
When you point your finger at someone else, three fingers are point back at yourself!
See you later hero!
 
Scraps | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 3:05:23 AM | Ok... Really not sure what thats all about.. and im too tired to start readin all the posts on this damn thread.......
Now as far as the topic at hand... after careful consideration... I say...
OH HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Now call me a pig... but Im sorry.... Sex is too much of a vital ingredient needed.. in a relationship... Im not saying it is the relationship..... but still.....
now I know half of you out there are callin me a pig right now... the other half....know exactly what i mean.....and where im coming from.....
Part of the key to a good relationship is passion... lovemaking is part of passion... therefore.. necessary in my opinion.... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 5:56:30 AM | Well I did... and to top it off my X already had 3 children and I guess I wanted her to feel secure in knowing I was after the woman and sex could wait till we were married...
I can be very honest and say I am not sure I could do that again... I had waited 1 1/2 years with her... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 9:23:20 AM | The OP's OT:
I'm interested in how many men would wait till marriage if they met the right woman?what if you went on a first date and the girl tells you she's waiting for marraige, how would you react? Not ever call her again? Or maybe stick around? Seems apparent some WOULD and some would not...simple.
For the record.....I KNOW I could. I Believe I would.
I do NOT believe that sexual compatiblity can ONLY be assessed after having sex before marriage.There is VERY little that you can know about a person's sexual ABILITY that REQUIRES having sex. In fact there may be alot MORE you can learn about them from waiting a few months.Exploring/studying the nuaces of OPEN and honest communication,love styles and touch reception,digestion and perception is ALWAYS my prescription Now this,I believe requires real SKILL
If you wait ARBITRARILY to save sex for marriage, I'd classify you as:
(1) not a very sexual person
(2) constrained by false morality
If you disagree, it's ok, don't label me negatively
Without negatively labeling you,I must point out that those sentiments are VERY negative,somewhat vexatious,even pompous and illogical. Obviously I disagree. I am not 1 to say everyone should wait until marraige to have sex. I certainly haven't. I however would NOT consider those who have made or are making that choice to be "less sexual" than those who do,unless by "very sexual" what was meant was the frequency of sexual activity. In that case,most of us are less sexual than street corner hookers. However, the term "very sexual",seems to me to infer the DESIRE and abilty to have sex often and well,therefore I find the assumption that saving sex until marriage relating to someone being constrianed by false morality or not being "very sexual" galling and illogical. It seems to go to the notion that because a woman(or man) has made a choice to wait,that they are stuck up or "frigid". I think just as good(if not better) a case can be made about those who vituperate waiting.
That's like saying you can simply KNOW that a person is a good tennis player without watching them play....until you play someone on the court, you don't know
Actually you can. I've never played against nor watched Althea Gibson play tennis but I know she was a better than good player because of her record. 
I'd rather compare sex to DANCING. You CAN tell whether someone has the real and viable potential to be an excellent dancer without ever watching them dance on the floor nor dancing with them. You can also tell if they'd be a compatible dance partner.Those who can't, simply lack the knowledge of the nuances of dance
I'll try to further my perspective on this. The ONLY time I have EVER dated someone for any real length of time and waited several months(7)before having sex and found that the 1st encounter was bad was actually due to her built up intimidation of my size that she clearly did NOT communicate to me prior instead she said the opposite. I knew she had the ABILITY to be a good lover,I knew we had the ingredients of sexual compatibility and as it turned out,over time that proved to be correct as she eventually was able to overcome this fear factor.Although the fact that she had it somewhat alarmed me due to feeling that we should have achieved a level of trust by that time that should have eleviated any concern and that it was obvious that I was as gentle and affectionate inside of the realm of intercourse as I was outside of it,along with the fact that the reason we had sex was due to HER frequent and fervent REQUEST to have sex anyway. Actually the lack of communication(to my degree of aspiration) is what had me hesitant to have sex with her in the first place and what lead to the relationship ending ...not "sexual compatability". My further point is that in NO other relationship in which we waited to have sex(obviously,I've never waited until marriage) has there EVER been a problem with sexual compatibilty. In fact I've found those who wait longer before having sex are more likely to be the best at it. fewer issues,less baggage. Again,to the OP's question....I KNOW I could... I BELIEVE I would. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 10:45:26 AM |
I'd rather compare sex to DANCING. You CAN tell whether someone has the real and viable potential to be an excellent dancer without ever watching them dance on the floor nor dancing with them. You can also tell if they'd be a compatible dance partner.Those who can't, simply lack the knowledge of the nuances of dance - Marathonman11x7
I dance once or twice a week, and again, your metaphor doesn't work. You can talk about dancing. You can read books about dancing. You can BELIEVE that someone might be a compatible dance partner. But ultimately, the only real proof is when you dance with them. Whether it's club dancing, goth and industrial, Salsa or whatever, you can have someone with all the technical skill in the world, and it still doesn't click. And really, how are you even going to know whether they have any ability, or know anything, unless you see them dance? Or do you just take their word for it. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 10:45:56 AM |
Hypocrite...hmmm. I do believe it was you, in your quest to be forum hero, who took it upon yourself to PUBLICLY address it when I quite accurately labelled someone a "serial fornicator". YOU hijacked this thread and made THAT the topic of discussion rather than what it was intended for. If you were SO CONCERNED about hypocrisy, you would have written me an email or IM. As the saying goes... When you point your finger at someone else, three fingers are point back at yourself! See you later hero! - Feast_On_Scraps
Scraps, I've been back on topic for quite a while, now. You are the only person who comes back repeatedly to draw this discussion into personal duels, over and over again. I'm not even going to bother untangling your misunderstanding of what I've said, because I'm beginning to believe it's hardly unintentional. You don't appear to have anything real to contribute, and I've handed you your *** several times on an engraved silver platter when you've attempted to be witty. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 10:54:30 AM | If you met thet right woman.Fell totally in love with her and she with you.You may say you would wait.
The two of you may even try to wait.
Bur ! If you two adults ,in most case's theres no way in hell. Your going to be able to fight, that passion building in the two of you, for long.So If i wanted to wait,You can bet the wedding is going to be tomorrow! | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 12:59:37 PM |
your metaphor doesn't work
It may not work for YOU. Yet it does WORK. Notice,I also stated"You CAN tell whether someone has the real and viable potential to be an excellent dancer without ever watching them dance on the floor nor dancing with them. You can also tell if they'd be a compatible dance partner.Those who can't, simply lack the knowledge of the nuances of dance ". Some of the nuances are; pocessing a good memory, great sense of rhythm, great motor skills, good eyesight and hearing, good co-ordination and a flexible body, a good level of fitness and interpretive skill/ability. These are ALL things that can be assessed WITHOUT dancing with that person or even watching them dance.
Dance compatiblity can be determined by observing the formentioned things as well as having compatible musical taste. Also,from observing the nuances of verbal and non verbal communication compatiblity of interaction and flow, temperment, pace, give and play ALL can be assessed by a skilled and interested observing without ever stepping on the floor with the potential dance partner. Now, in a club,most of us tend to watch SOME of those things but would rather gather that info quicker by getting out on the floor 1st.  Still, it works. | |
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Ooli
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 347 | |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 3:30:15 PM | | There is so much self important grandstanding going on in this thread, that it makes it very unpleasant to wade through the malicious posts to get to the good ones. I personally don't appreciate the fact that this thread has been hijacked by such debasing posters. Can we return to fair play here, please? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 4:10:01 PM | Couple #3 - She can have sex three or four times a week. He doesn't need it at all. They're getting divorced right now. She's gone stark-raving mad on the dating scene. (Good for her, by the way.)
unfortunately this can happen even when you have had sex before marriage.... maybe I didn't need to wait, but wait longer to marry him...... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/12/2006 4:58:51 PM |
It may not work for YOU. - Marathonman11x7
Call me selfish, but from my perspective, that's really all that matters.
Yet it does WORK. Notice,I also stated"You CAN tell whether someone has the real and viable potential to be an excellent dancer without ever watching them dance on the floor nor dancing with them. You can also tell if they'd be a compatible dance partner.Those who can't, simply lack the knowledge of the nuances of dance ". Some of the nuances are; pocessing a good memory, great sense of rhythm, great motor skills, good eyesight and hearing, good co-ordination and a flexible body, a good level of fitness and interpretive skill/ability. These are ALL things that can be assessed WITHOUT dancing with that person or even watching them dance. - Marathonman11x7
These are also qualities which one can possess in abundance without knowing your a** from your elbow on the dance floor. I once knew a dance instructor (jazz, tap, ballet) who looked like a highschool geek when he went clubbing. It was embarassing.
Dance compatiblity can be determined by observing the formentioned things as well as having compatible musical taste. Also,from observing the nuances of verbal and non verbal communication compatiblity of interaction and flow, temperment, pace, give and play ALL can be assessed by a skilled and interested observing without ever stepping on the floor with the potential dance partner. - Marathonman11x7
But the point is, ultimately, that even two good dancers may not be compatible with each other. They may have different styles (she likes salsa, he like dance clubs that play rap and R&B), they may not click with chemistry, or they may simply not be built for each other. Yes, you MAY be able to see if someone is a good dancer without ever seeing them dance, though I seriously question this. But WHY do it when the ultimate proof lies so easily before you, and so undeniable? Why close your eyes and try to GUESS how well they can dance when you can simply step out on the dancer floor and move?
Besideswhich, to ask the original question from the OP, would you seriously consider marrying someone you'd never had sex with? Metaphors aside? I'm guessing the answer is no.
Now, in a club,most of us tend to watch SOME of those things but would rather gather that info quicker by getting out on the floor 1st. - Marathonman11x7
Thank you. I'm glad you ultimately agree with me. | |
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