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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2006 5:45:29 PM | | If you were with the right person and that is what she wanted, then I would repect her wished and wait untill marrage. Growing up in a catholic family I was brought up on these morals and beliefs. I know I oculd wait just to be with her and come the night of the marraige it would be that much more sweet. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2006 6:13:59 PM | The reason for over a month that I placed the two requirements to contact me as, (1) must live in Ecuador AND (2) within 75 miles of Dallas, TX was to make certain no one could contact me on the dating site. It was only to allow people to forums to contact me that I removed the restrictions. However, I still listed my zip code as 82710 which is Aladdin, WY a town of 15 and in a county of 6000. That still makes it very hard for anyone to find me on the dating site while allowing those on forums to contact me.
Or maybe you don't want everyone to find out that you're a 57-year-old fat man? 
Seriously - get off your high horse. It's getting extremely tiresome. You have absolutely nothing to contribute to discussions, other than self-indulgent stories about how wonderful, perfect and pristine you are.
On topic - I could wait, if it was part of her belief system. Sex can wait - true love doesn't happen often. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2006 6:54:24 PM | Seems like this thread is starting to grow wild!! The religious extremists on one end insisting that only waiting till marriage is the only way to go while others demand sex very early on in a relationship.
Religious extremism has caused so much trouble. While I am of moderate faith, I also consider the importance of using logic to arrive at decisions.
Waiting till marriage pros-if both are virgins
no STDs
not worrying about an accidental pregnancy
fewer emotional complications
Cons:
Not knowing sexual compatibility of partner
Not understanding how sexuality works (I heard about two virgins who did not consummate their marriage until some time later when a doctor had to explain to them how it works!)
Later problems in sexual aspect of relationship.
Folks, there are pros and cons to each, and even middle of the road solutions such as waiting until engagement to marry rather than waiting all the way until the wedding to have intercourse for the first time.
Use logic and you will arrive at a good choice for YOU. What YOU and your partner decide to do are NOBODY's business but YOURS.
Pushing your views on other people only drives them away (and drives them crazy too!!)
DW
Should be Driven Wild instead of Designing Woman with this particular thread!! I get a headache just thinking about the extremists calling each other names
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:08:55 PM | 
This is hilarious. The same thread topic, with little variance, keeps coming back like a loony carnival clown bobbing to the lake's surface after, dead, it's slipped its cement blocks.
I never waited past the third date when I was younger.
As for nowadays? Since, statistically, most women mid- 40's and older don't want to marry or re-marry, the choice is between early relationship sex; or holding hands, till death, while watching 100 Huntley Street. (But, then, that's what friends are for, hardyhar.) | |
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mft
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Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 534 | |
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Ooli
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 537 | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:47:43 PM | | I think it depends on the importance or priority you place on sex in the relationship AND your idea of what sex is. If two people love each other and feel loved, then they've made love. I think often having sex is often someone else's idea of what "good sex" or "great sex" is. Something they saw on a video or read in a magazine or a book. If I've been with a man that I love fully and respect and admire, what happens when we physically express our love to each other is making love. The act of sex is the pure physical aspect, feeling loved is a much more encompassing experience. At least to me, maybe I'm different. I don't have to try to duplicate some acrobatic sexual position/kama sutra/Penthouse/porn image or idea of what great sex is. Having sex is great, not arguing or being judgmental about that, to each their own. For me, lovemaking is always preferable and much more deeply satisfying. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2006 8:09:10 PM | i just read all 22 pages of posts, hmmm am i any smarter??
i don't think it changes my opinion
it depends on the indivual cupple and their needs
bad spelling? yes
would i wait for marriage? depends on how bad i wanted to marry her
if i wanted her as a wife and those were her wishes what choice would i have
hmmm seems simple to me | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2006 10:35:02 PM | For a woman to even think that with all the sex we are bombarded with today, I think that's AWESOME! I would definitely be able to wait for the "actual intercourse." She would actually get props in my book! I doubt if the average guy would say that thought. Especially if I thought she was the "right" woman, I'd wait. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/21/2006 10:46:19 PM |
I think it depends on the importance or priority you place on sex in the relationship AND your idea of what sex is. If two people love each other and feel loved, then they've made love. I think often having sex is often someone else's idea of what "good sex" or "great sex" is. Something they saw on a video or read in a magazine or a book. If I've been with a man that I love fully and respect and admire, what happens when we physically express our love to each other is making love. The act of sex is the pure physical aspect, feeling loved is a much more encompassing experience. At least to me, maybe I'm different. I don't have to try to duplicate some acrobatic sexual position/kama sutra/Penthouse/porn image or idea of what great sex is. Having sex is great, not arguing or being judgmental about that, to each their own. For me, lovemaking is always preferable and much more deeply satisfying. - bucsgirl
So as long as you don't conceive of sex as, like, something physical, you're good to go no matter what happens?
but designing and bucs, the OP states specifically as to "actual intercourse", not a distinction between "making love" and "fukking". That would be a topic for a different thread entirely. - designingwoman
You just had to go and let the original question get in the way of another rousing chorus of Kumbaya, didn't you?
Why can't we all just get along? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:50:55 AM | For the religous chorus out there Malonel is a voice of reason.
The problem with the religous right is not their opinions it is that they proclaim their opinion and that they believe that their way is the right way. Their way is the only way. It is just an example of extreme prejudice. It is a reflection of ego...I am right and everyone is wrong.
The most interesting thing about this religous self rightous group is that low and behold the evangelists and bible spewing group have the highest rate of divorce of any religous group. Interesting is it not. The bible states to judge a tree by the fruit it bares so I guess that sums it up.
Would I wait to make love till I was married...no way. Would I wait to find the person I want to love before I make love again...you bet. There are extremes and then there is a realistic moral code to live by if you seek love. To each his own self be true. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 2:32:02 PM |
I'm not speculating, because I speak from experience. Then you do not commprehend the definition of the word "speculating" nor your use of it in context of this thread.
But unlike you, I've tried it. I therefore have experience You've tried marriage and failed. You have experience with the failure of marriage and the failure of making a choice in partners. You do not have experience in the crux of the OP's question "the right woman". You may have different experience with what you thought was the right woman. Still,the only thing you have experience with are those with whom you've dated/met therefore you speculate on the existance of the "right woman" and as to what you'd do. The same is true of all who post on this poll.
Try reposting the thread and saying, "Guys, would you be willing to wait for sex until later in the relationship?" or "Guys, would you be willing to hold off on having sex until you knew the person better?" Why? do you suppose that men and women are posting here without reading the OP's post or the topic heading? Men and women have voiced their opinions. Some have clearly stated they would/could and others have stated they wouldn't.
My point has been that this is a poll,nothing more. It hinges on finding "the right one" and waiting until marriage to have sex once that person is found. The side issue of sexual compatibilty is the major reason most who have voiced an opinion of unwillingness to wait as a concern. This though a legitmate concern is not something that is necessarily solved by having sex prior to marriage nor is it something that cannot be assessed via sex prior to marriage.
I've bought a car that I test driven that turned out to be a lemon. I've purchased a car that I never drove(auction) and still drive. My point is that it can work either way just as it can fail either way. This has been my position. Again, my answer to the OP's question of finding the "right woman" who wished to wait;..."could you wait for it?"
Yes....IF I KNEW! Good things can come to those who wait. Whats a year of waiting compared to a lifetime of fufilling sexual expression?
"what if you went on a first date and the girl tells you she's waiting for marraige, how would you react?"
Been there, I do as I ALWAYS do;ask LOTS of questions. If she was intriguing enough to ask out on a date nothing would have changed.Questions go beyond the blanket statement and into the "whys","how longs" "whats" ect. behind the "no sex until marriage"concept for better understanding of her. An OPEN and honest, ethical, strong, intelligent, logical, affectionate, independent woman is a VERY RARE find.
There is very little that you can know about a person's sexual abilty that requires having sex.In fact there may be alot MORE you can learn about them from waiting a few months.For the record.....I KNOW I could. I Believe I would. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 2:37:48 PM | Perhaps the religious chorus actually see's sex in a different... "light" (hehehe).. um
It seems that biblical morals point out that sex, is pretty much a means of procreation, and that lust is a sin and an invitation to baser things, a temptation, a distraction from the path to heaven,god, etc...
So, I guess it is understandable to try to follow that code and cudo's to those of sufficient belief to concentrate on that goal. I would agree that it is a noble path to follow...
what the future shall bring for them in the years to come may alter thier beliefs... personally i believe to follow religious dogma too closely is a folly.. but living and learning is very valuable so in that sense, the more they speak up, live, make errors and have successes the more they will learn... and we mostly learn from our own mistakes... so have at em... hehehe...
Its all good... it takes all kinds... but personally.... i think practicality can be more cost efficient... in terms of time, $$$, energy, and having a sweet time physically...
there's enuf suffering in the world to add a disasterous sexlife to the pile.... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 2:45:10 PM | | molonel Hmm...I didn't get what you got from what I wrote. Perhaps I didn't communicate it clearly. You can have intercourse making love and having sex and you can make love and have sex without having intercourse. Having sex and making love is all physical, I don't know what I may have said to lead you to believe otherwise. I think the difference is that having sex is done with the expectation of relieving sexual tension, reaching climax, getting off, whatever. There's nothing wrong with that, not making a moral declaration or judgment in any way. Release of sexual tension is proven to be healthy and darn it feels good. For me the difference is making love is expressing my deep feelings and desire for physical closeness with my man, and usually yes we have "sex" or intercourse, but if for some reason we don't, it isn't important. We still made love, expressed our love physically to each other no matter what we did or didn't do. The feelings I think and mental attitude is the difference. Like I said, maybe I'm different, but that's how I define both. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 4:07:52 PM |
You've tried marriage and failed. You have experience with the failure of marriage and the failure of making a choice in partners. You do not have experience in the crux of the OP's question "the right woman". You may have different experience with what you thought was the right woman. Still,the only thing you have experience with are those with whom you've dated/met therefore you speculate on the existance of the "right woman" and as to what you'd do. The same is true of all who post on this poll. - Marathonman11x7
... says the man who hasn't had the guts to even TRY, much less fail, in four decades. Failure is far more difficult than Monday-morning quarterbacking. Your only point, it seems now, is to prove that I don't have more experience than you in the area of marriage and choosing a mate. All I need to do is point to our two profiles. Me? Divorced. You? Single. 'Nuff said.
I'm a big fan of tooting my own horn, but right now, you're blowing through the wrong end of a kazoo, and acting like you're Louis Armstrong. When you've got a decade of married life under your belt, and you actually know the meaning of the words "success" and "failure" with regards to marriage, and choosing the right woman, come back and talk to me. If you start tomorrow, you'll be 51 when that happens.
Until then, you're all talk.
The side issue of sexual compatibilty is the major reason most who have voiced an opinion of unwillingness to wait as a concern. This though a legitmate concern is not something that is necessarily solved by having sex prior to marriage nor is it something that cannot be assessed via sex prior to marriage. - Marathonman11x7
Again: Says the single guy who's never been there. Words to live by. Truly.
Why? do you suppose that men and women are posting here without reading the OP's post or the topic heading? - Marathonman11x7
No, I'm simply certain that it would nip your little tangent in the bud. That's all.
Notice, by the way, that I'm not avoiding anything in your posts with a question mark attached to it. You might want to consider emulating me.
Yes....IF I KNEW! Good things can come to those who wait. Whats a year of waiting compared to a lifetime of fufilling sexual expression? - Marathonman11x7
Your own metaphor of the test-driven cars, however, shows that you'll never KNOW if someone is the right person. I grow tired of saying it, but since you apparently never grow tired of making the same points over and over again, I'll point it out yet again: if you've never done something before, in your entire adult life, despite numerous opportunities to do so, then I have no reason to believe you're suddenly - in your mid- to late-forties - going to swing 180 degrees in the opposite direction, and do something else. I'm sure you believe you could. Any smoker will tell you he can quit any time he wants to. I'm simply expressing a healthy sense of skepticism.
I do as I ALWAYS do;ask LOTS of questions. If she was intriguing enough to ask out on a date nothing would have changed.Questions go beyond the blanket statement and into the "whys","how longs" "whats" ect. behind the "no sex until marriage"concept for better understanding of her. An OPEN and honest, ethical, strong, intelligent, logical, affectionate, independent woman is a VERY RARE find. - Marathonman11x7
We can agree on one thing: a good woman is hard to find. Where we disagree is believing that talk is more important than action: You do; I don't. | |
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