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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 4:48:19 PM |
molonel Hmm...I didn't get what you got from what I wrote. Perhaps I didn't communicate it clearly. You can have intercourse making love and having sex and you can make love and have sex without having intercourse. Having sex and making love is all physical, I don't know what I may have said to lead you to believe otherwise. I think the difference is that having sex is done with the expectation of relieving sexual tension, reaching climax, getting off, whatever. There's nothing wrong with that, not making a moral declaration or judgment in any way. Release of sexual tension is proven to be healthy and darn it feels good. For me the difference is making love is expressing my deep feelings and desire for physical closeness with my man, and usually yes we have "sex" or intercourse, but if for some reason we don't, it isn't important. We still made love, expressed our love physically to each other no matter what we did or didn't do. The feelings I think and mental attitude is the difference. Like I said, maybe I'm different, but that's how I define both. - bucsgirl
Or maybe I read it wrong. It certainly wouldn't be the first time. Nor will it be the last, I'm sure.
While I can appreciate your nuanced distinctions, however, they have more to do with the context of an established, committed relationship where the ball is already in play, so to speak. Pun intended.
Would you use the same assumptions when asking the question, "Can I marry this person?" though? We're not just talking about a distinction between "Doing the nasty" and "Making sweet love beneath the bower; cherry blossoms falling all the while." We're asking, could you make a permanent, legally binding, often but not necessarily religious commitment to someone with whom you usually commit to having monogamous sex with forever and ever, amen, without ever having sex beforehand? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 4:53:37 PM | molonel I appreciate your patience and understanding. I try my best to communicate as clearly as possible, but noone hits the bullseye every time.
Now to answer your question, I honestly have to say that it would depend on the situation. Not trying to back out of it, off the cuff my reaction would be no. I think sexual compatability in any long term committed relationship is a very important element. However, I don't always think you have to have a sexual experience to determine that. In all likelihood I think before I married someone I would probably feel more comfortable having had some sexual experience with them beforehand. It wouldn't be a requirement, however. And I'm honestly only being theoretical as it's never happened to me personally before. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:16:58 PM | | Here's my testimonial. We dated off and on over a five year period and exclusively over a year. No sex. She was cool but was genuinely religious and I respected that. I liked her alot and eventually had her as benificiary on my insurance policy. We had discussed the location and appearance of "Our" house and how many kids "we" would like (etc). After I finished college, one of her family members hinted about a ring??? So I got one and popped the question. The response... "I could never marry you. We should just be friends." Will I ever do that again? Never. So if a woman says she wants to wait until marriage for sex... Open the car door and invite her to exit immediately. Those who want to be a little nicer about it... slow down a bit first and throw her some change for her to make a phone call to the nunnary recruiter. Then put her number on call blocker. Sincerely, A bitter, bitter man. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:30:46 PM | Yeah.. you really are bitter arent ya??????...
Given the circumstances... I can understand... I'd be really pissed too... And for the record... I mean for all of us adults living on planet earth... a relationship with someone... is going to involve sex... Its a must... I mean... I could see going the first month.. or two.. without sex... even 6... (Which is still a little ridiculous.. and cruel... TO BOTH PARTIES... LAST TIME I CHECKED SEX WAS ENJOYABLE!!!!) iWhats the point of having an exclusive relationship... If youre not even having sex with your "Girlfreind/Boyfreind"....... I mean if thats the case then you'se are probably better off as freinds.. and let him go find a girl he can do things with....
In conclusion... sex is a benefit... not the only one.. but its definitely a BIG benefit.. Its one of the reasons for being in a relationship....... I mean Im not gonna get into it right now.. but its just nice to know its there..... Opposed to being single... which is like one big crapshoot..
You do go a little to the extreme though by ending the date right then and there.... I mean c'mon the first date.. Even if she tells you she'd like to wait till marriage... (and why in the hell would that come up on a first date anyway...????) Maybe over time.. You can get her to change her mind......How much time do you give her????... differs depending on the guy.. I guess.....Your method just seems a little cold........ | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:40:32 PM | And for the record... I mean for all of us adults living on planet earth... a relationship with someone... is going to involve sex... Its a must... I mean... I could see going the first month.. or two.. without sex... even 6... (Which is still a little ridiculous.. and cruel... TO BOTH PARTIES... LAST TIME I CHECKED SEX WAS ENJOYABLE!!!!) iWhats the point of having an exclusive relationship... If youre not even having sex with your "Girlfreind/Boyfreind"
Sex isn't actually necessary, which might be a little hard for some people to digest. Enjoyable? Completely. Fun? Absolutely. A must for a relationship to work? Not at all. Like you said, sex is a benefit - and not only a benefit, it's a human right. In fact, it is almost a universal right, for every species (almost. Not quite). However, it is a person's choice as to when they will do it, and with whom. And whether they will be married or not.
Also, it isn't a decision influenced only by religion. I'm not religious myself, and I can completely understand why someone would choose to wait. Especially in our modern society, where sexually transmitted diseases run rampant, pre-teen and young adult pregnancies are common, and many people are considered 'players.' As a wise person once said: "save the best for last." | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:49:08 PM | westward Given that experience I understand where you're coming from. Religion faith and belief sometimes cause conflicts. Internal ones are sometimes the most difficult. This coming from a minister's daughter.
You did get burned, but please don't let that embitter you. With the information you posted, it appears that "religion" was used as an excuse. I admire your patience, it appears from what you posted that you cared about this woman, it's too bad your patience and understanding was not appreciated. One bad experience, don't let that paint all women or all women who have a "religious" faith or belief with the same brush.
There are quality men and women, I'm a firm believer. Likes attract and eventually find each other. Whatever happens in the interim, it's best to look at it as an experience.
One experience with one person. Been there done that, know the hurt, the sting the embarrassment. Just remember this, if you let what someone else does TO you change your behavior in the future after they're gone, they're still controlling you in a subtle but effective way.
When you're ready, jump back in and give the next lady a fair shake, clean slate. Trust me, that's the only way you'lll find something worth having.
Not all people who have a religious faith are religious. Faith and belief and religion aren't always the same. What is called religion are tradition, customs, ceremonies, etc. In other words all man made.
You appear to be genuine and sincere. Two outstanding qualities.
Take all the time you need to the point you don't feel bitter. Give the next woman a fresh start for both of you. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:49:36 PM | A must for a relationship to work? Not at all.
I want to hurt you! 
Sorry but I disagree...1 billion percent.
I had typed out this giant response to that..but given the fact that this thread has gone on so long I decided to edit it. However...trust me I speak from experience when I say that without that connection there is a very unstable foundation for a relationship. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:21:23 PM | peace I've read some of your posts, have several children older than you but was impressed with your wisdom and maturity.
"Men have sex for pleasure, too." After that post, you blew it. Sorry, but now you're a typical 19 y/o. Not a bad thing. You need to read some more, maybe threads here, but who enjoys sex more...men or women? I don't honestly think you know. Google it. | |
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Knuts
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Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 568 | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:28:18 PM | Oh God....why WAIT to find out if something is BROKEN! LMAOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
I am no man, but really, if I purchase something broken..I take it back to store..QUICK like..LOL!
Now, not that I think having sex TOO quickly is healthy..but my GOD to commit yaself for the rest of ya life with what could potentially be a DUD! LOL nope...not for me anyways! LOL...
Then again..I dump em if they not Good Kissers! LOL Call me Picky!
Tarible
And Hi BTW..my very first Post...you'll get used to my lippy-ness..all in fun!:)) | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:28:22 PM | there'sa few ppl here sayin that you can tell how sexually compatible you will be with someone just by talking about it... that may be roughly acceptable, but it doesnt account for bad physical chemistry (taste, touch, habits, inner drives), or brilliant compatibility... so its still a gamble... of course two vigins may never know what they are missing.... lol
but experienced folk may just be kickin themselves in the butt after the vows have been uttered... and inexperienced ppl have a 75% chance to be horrible... especially if they have hang-ups about it... and many who talk a good game are pretty bad too... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:31:59 PM | OK... then... SOME women are just guarded about sex so as not to be labeled....... which I can understand too.. I wasnt tryin to offend with that comment... or be sexist or anything like that... also Smile With.............. I am learning you are a little tough to please.....
And yes...... Women can threaten the pimp slap.... I guess.. Its a free country you can do anything you want right?????
OK.... Go ahead... Gimmee youre best shot..... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:35:34 PM | tough to please....moi  I'm just a smartass...big difference dear. But honestly...women have as much if not more in some cases of a sex drive as men.
We are also sexual beings...damn the Donna Reed persona that blasted us to all be quiet about it...sorry but some of us are very vocal about it...and about our need/desire for it!
You can always please me...when you don't generalize.  | |
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