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| | GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?Page 27 of 152 (13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53) | So you see Taran there a guys out there with moral values. Maybe we should contact each other and discuss this further??
Sadly, Taran23, the person responsible for instigating this accursed thread, deleted his/her profile on January 23rd, 2006. That means that he or she did not benefit from the last 25 pages or so of thoughtful, sage wisdom so unselfishly provided here. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/3/2006 6:53:09 PM | would honestly say right off the bat that I probably would not wait because I don't know if I could marry someone that I'm not sexually compatible with. I mean, realistically, that is the one person you're going to have sex with (Because people should respect their vows!) for the rest of your life. What are you going to do if it sucks??
ok lets say you find her...then ...5 years later..it starts to really suck...then what?
but honestly....if you were to bring out the best in her as she should in you...sex could be very intriguin for both partners...trust me..lol...i know....he made me feel so good ..i couldnt keep my hands off him...wore him out..lmfao...poor guy...but i loved it an so did he...we couldnt keep our hands off one another..was quite fun actually. | |
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Rich00
| | Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 654 | |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/3/2006 7:08:04 PM | I would wait as long as she needed too. Besides, I think it's a good idea to wait a while. That way, any feelings you had for each other will be based in emotional things, rather than physical things. And that will surely make the relationship stronger/longer.
As far as all this talk about 'sexual compatibility' goes.. what does that even mean? Male-end + female-end = Compatable, right? lol. And if you're in love, how could the sex possibly be bad? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/3/2006 7:39:56 PM | ^^^^ holy crap...made me SPIT...my coffee out on this screen..hahahah...gotcha.
As far as all this talk about 'sexual compatibility' goes.. what does that even mean? Male-end + female-end = Compatable, right? lol. And if you're in love, how could the sex possibly be bad?
thats what i am tryin to figure out rich00...i always thought when your in a relationship...an if theres something you like to do then you talk bout it...yea? she or he cant possible read your mind...open digussions are the best way to go...communication....tell what your likes an dislikes are...simple. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/3/2006 11:07:31 PM | Total sexual satisfaction is possible with total engagement of personality. To have sex is one thing to have satisfaction is another. Women are not cars, they are not `things` they are persons. So, sex can not be approached in terms of `testing`, like a car. Do you know what I mean! | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/4/2006 4:35:30 AM |
(Msg 661) As far as all this talk about 'sexual compatibility' goes.. what does that even mean? Male-end + female-end = Compatable, right? lol. And if you're in love, how could the sex possibly be bad?
Sex, being an innate drive, is similar to hunger or thirst. We all know people who eat a lot and others who eat very little. Look how difficult it is for people to diet, for example. Even though they want to get thin they struggle with their weight all their life.
People have a different need or desire or want for sex just as everyone has a different hunger. Can someone make you feel hungry? Sure, they can cook your favorite meal or dessert and you may eat it even if you are not hungry but how many times would you do that? Or put another way do you enjoy eating when you are not hungry? Doesn't food taste a lot better when you feel hungry before you eat? That's the same as sex. To put it bluntly if a person is not horny they will not enjoy sex as much as someone who is horny.
Regarding bad sex, again, let's compare it to eating. Some people will make a nice meal, balanced and attractive looking on the plate, served with a complimentary sauce. Others will open a can of spaghetti. They're both food but one meal is much better than the other.
That's what sexual compatibility is all about. Sex, being a innnate drive, in not something one can easily change. Do you want to be in a relationship where you are constantly hungry or, conversely, where one is forever trying to force you to eat when you are not hungry? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/5/2006 3:51:30 PM |
No I wouldn't wait, and if she wants to wait she's probably frigid.
So us women who CHOOSE to wait until marriage are "frigid". Okay.
I choose to wait because of my religious beliefs. I respect sex as holy and sacred, a gift from God for MARRIED people. It is not a toy. That does not make me "frigid".
A man is not entitled to that intimate part of who I am. He has to earn it. I would expect him to think the same way about me.
That consummation of a relationship comes after a lot of hard work in gaining someone's trust and respect. It comes after a recognition that there is a common vision and goal in life. Beliefs, interests, a foundation of genuine friendship are all glue that holds two people together. The Sacrament of Marriage and the unification of two people to become one flesh finalizes it all.
I stand by what I said. Sex with someone you truly love can never be "bad". For myself, just being **that** close to the man I love and have given my life to would be enough for me. I'm not concerned about "getting off". I'm concerned with building unity and renewing the vows I make on my wedding day, which is what the purpose of the conjugal act is.
The most satisfying relationship I've ever had was with someone where we pledged to wait until marriage for sex. Our relationship was pure and based on genuine friendship. We saw each other as people, not objects for pleasure. We knew that waiting until marriage would be worth is because fullfilling each other sexually would be something that would take a lifetime to learn. It's a journey, not a destination.
For a really great explanation of marital intimacy read "Theology of the Body", by Pope John Paul II. It's an amazing piece, but I haven't been able to read through in it's entirety:
http://www.ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/JP2TBIND.HTM
Scraps | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/5/2006 3:57:30 PM |
So I'm interested in how many men would wait till marriage if they met the right woman? Even if you were both NOT virgins, do you think you could wait if that was her choice?
How do you know its the right woman if you haven't had sex? Don't you try your shoes on before you buy them? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/5/2006 5:25:36 PM | I'm not concerned about "getting off".
I don't believe you. Anyone who doesn't care whether or not they experience orgasm(s) with their lover is lying, masochistic, or so spiritually enlightened that they use sex as a rarified transcendental experience of energy transfer. Or has an extremely low sex drive, or is repressed, through religious brainwashing or painful personal experience.
We saw each other as people, not objects for pleasure.
And how does having sex before marriage automatically put the the man and woman into the selfish objectifying category? It's a silly arguement.
Quite the reverse: the couple who explore their sexuality in great detail before any thought of marriage occurs are being responsible to the needed meshing of any couple's complex, unique, and often difficult, compatibility. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:30:39 PM | So us women who CHOOSE to wait until marriage are "frigid". Okay. I choose to wait because of my religious beliefs. I respect sex as holy and sacred, a gift from God for MARRIED people. It is not a toy. That does not make me "frigid". - Feast_On_Scraps
Since I've disagreed with you on nearly everything else you've written, I felt it was only fair to say that I agree with you on this point: waiting until you are married does not make you frigid. I think whoever said that made an unfair statement.
A man is not entitled to that intimate part of who I am. He has to earn it. I would expect him to think the same way about me. - Feast_On_Scraps
I also agree with you on this point. Nobody is entitled to your physical intimacy, nor that of any other man or woman. Trust, which is a part of physical intimacy, must be earned.
I stand by what I said. Sex with someone you truly love can never be "bad". For myself, just being **that** close to the man I love and have given my life to would be enough for me. I'm not concerned about "getting off". I'm concerned with building unity and renewing the vows I make on my wedding day, which is what the purpose of the conjugal act is. - Feast_On_Scraps
I disagree here on 2 points:
1. Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as bad sex with someone you love.
2. The conjugal act has more inherent purpose that merely "buiding unity" and "renewing the vows I make on my wedding day."
I also might add that you're not exactly helping me, when I try to defend you against the charge of being frigid, and you claim, "I am not concerned about 'getting off.'"
As if this is a bad thing.
Our relationship was pure and based on genuine friendship. We saw each other as people, not objects for pleasure. - Feast_On_Scraps
Again, we see this everlasting dichotomy in the minds of those who claim to believe in no sex before marriage. This is not an either/or, where you either (a) wait for sex until marriage, or (b) view your partner as merely an object for your own pleasure. This persists despite numerous claims to the contrary by those who believe otherwise.
But if the lie helps you to sleep at night, go right ahead. I can't stop you.
We knew that waiting until marriage would be worth is because fullfilling each other sexually would be something that would take a lifetime to learn. It's a journey, not a destination. - Feast_On_Scraps
Actually, this is a third point where I agree with you: sexual compatibility is not a destination, but a journey, which is why I think the claim earlier that "Once sexual compatibility is established, you should stop having sex!" is so absurd.
(This point was raised by someone else, and not Scraps.)
What we disagree about is whether or not to start establishing or verifying this compatibility before or after you make a permanent, legally binding and often religiously significant commitment.
[Mild paraphrase] Furthermore, to back up my point, I'd like to recommend this article written by a celibate priest who never got married on the benefits of marital intimacy. I've never finished reading it, but it's very convincing ... [/Mild paraphrase]- Feast_On_Scraps
I never read it, either. But you're right: it's very convincing. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/5/2006 11:55:10 PM | Wow, im kind of surprised by the amount of ppl who said they wouldnt wait?
i mean till marriage may be stretching it, cuz sex is a big part of a relationship and if she's got eveything else and all of a sudden things fall apart in bed (not literally) then what do you do?
i dated a girl for almost 2 yrs with no sex, cuz she's waiting till marriage. it was hard. ALL THE TIME!....but i dealt with it, and i dont regret it. But like i said sex is important. so i'd wait as long as i had to unless it meant marriage. | |
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