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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/7/2006 6:19:53 AM | "If she was the right woman, then I wouldn't care if I ever had sex, even after marriage, as long as we were best friends and loved each other. Nothing else would matter to me one bit."
Some guys, I guess, have no sex drive.
Every person is entitled to their own decision about this. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:04:50 PM |
I don't believe you.
I honestly don't care of you believe me. I DON'T NEED YOU to believe me. I am solid in my Faith and I know who I am. That doesn't depend on whether or not people believe me.
I stand by what I said--ALL of it.
But if the lie helps you to sleep at night, go right ahead.
The opinion that it is a "lie" is your opinion and only your opinion.
I will take 2000 years of consistent Catholic teaching over your mere decades of opinion.
Scraps | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:17:06 PM | I could possibly wait and I certainly respect a woman who shows discretion in this but I look at this way. In our time and culture, sexuality is such a big deal that I think unless both partners are somewhat asexual it is important to know ahead of time if you are sexually compatible or not before you are married.
In my own divorce, and many failed or troubled marriages that I am aware of, sexual problems are a overiding issue.
If you have common ground about how often you have sex, what different postions and things you like and what yiou are willing to do/ have done to you, how much you are willing to experiment etc. you have a big leg up!
Of course, the best situation is when a couple just completely crave each other sexually and you arent going to know this unless you try a lot! | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/12/2006 5:59:59 PM |
The opinion that it is a "lie" is your opinion and only your opinion. I will take 2000 years of consistent Catholic teaching over your mere decades of opinion. - Feast_On_Scraps
Since you don't even read your own posts very carefully, or mine, before responding, I doubt your understanding of the sometimes Byzantine labyrinthes of Roman Catholic doctrine is either very deep or very extensive. If you'll read the quote of yours I replied to, it had nothing to do with doctrine or teaching, and everything to do with your own subjective opinions and experience. You certainly aren't the first Christian I've met who mistook her own subjective experience for eternal truth, and you probably won't be the last.
Don't come to me with a series of articles that you, by your own admission, haven't even read, and expect me to swallow them when you don't even KNOW if they are in conformity with 2,000 years of "consistent Catholic teaching" (whatever that is) since you have read neither the present articles nor the 2,000 years of systematic, historical and doctrinal teachings which proceeded it.
I see no indication that the articles posted here by you - which you haven't read - were spoken ex Cathedra, so even if I *were* a Roman Catholic, I could have made the statements I did before with a clear conscience.
Thus, I will take MY mere decades of opinion over yours, anyday. Yours are consistently uninformed, frequently venomous and usually full of hot air. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/15/2006 6:25:01 AM | Hm. I was selfishly hoping the answers to this post would be different :)
I'm waiting. And I'd like to believe there's at least one person out there who will consider that to be a positive thing. Or will at least date me anyway and - if everything else is there - not break up with me because of it.
Yes, it's a 'religious' decision for me. Yes, it's been freakin' difficult to wait... But I'm standing by that decision. I don't expect that the person I'm dating is also a virgin - but it gets tricky because my little rule temporarily and necessarily imposes my abstinence on him, and it's not one of those situations where we can just work out a compromise. I understand that I'm asking you to do something difficult, but it's not impossible (no one I've ever dated has died from abstinence yet) - and it's not like I'm a prude. We can keep ourselves happy and occupied.
I've met a couple of guys who have attempted to excuse cheating by explaining that it's not technically cheating to have sex with another woman when our committed relationship doesn't involve sex. That's incredible to me. Any opinions on that???
It's sad to me how people have come under attack in this thread for calling their decision to wait a faith-based one. How can anyone tell me that I'm misinformed or 'wrong' for believing what I do? It's what I've chosen to believe - and whether anyone else believes that to be 'right' or 'wrong' is irrelevant, because I've decided that it's 'right' for me.
Seems like if I told someone I worshipped ferrets, people would care less than if I told them I was waiting for marriage. My apologies if anyone in this forum worships ferrets... It was just an example :)
L | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/15/2006 10:34:04 AM | | I would definitely wait until marriage. I mean, I'm far from perfect and have made mistakes before in this area, so I would definitely want to wait. I believe that if she is the right person, it will be totally worth waiting for. Also, for this to work between two people there has to be a mutual goal of waiting, not just one wanting to wait and not the other. I don't believe all that crap about needing to test the waters, and so on. Sex is important, but not the most important thing in a relationship. A solid union should be based on spiritual likeness, as well as emotional, then physical, in that order. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/15/2006 11:10:30 AM |
I've met a couple of guys who have attempted to excuse cheating by explaining that it's not technically cheating to have sex with another woman when our committed relationship doesn't involve sex. That's incredible to me. Any opinions on that??? - mia_007
Even as someone who has vigorously taken the “Hell no!” stance in this discussion, I would call BS on that. If you’ve explained that you’re waiting, and he supposedly excepts that, then he has no more excuse to cheat on you than he would on anyone else.
It's sad to me how people have come under attack in this thread for calling their decision to wait a faith-based one. How can anyone tell me that I'm misinformed or 'wrong' for believing what I do? It's what I've chosen to believe - and whether anyone else believes that to be 'right' or 'wrong' is irrelevant, because I've decided that it's 'right' for me. - mia_007
Most of the vituperation against faith-based decisions in this thread has arisen because of the venom and judgment those people have spewed on people who don’t agree with them. We had one person earlier in the discussion calling people “serial fornicators,” and when I called her on it, she was like, “What? I’m not doing anything wrong.”
Nobody is going to judge you for the personal decisions you make in your life and relationships, whether those are for religious reasons or not. It’s when you start implying that anyone who disagrees with you is a slut or a horndog who can’t keep it in their pants that I, for example, am going to have something to say about that. | |
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jty98
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Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 690 | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/15/2006 9:39:25 PM | Thanks, Molonel. Glad to hear I'm not way off base calling a cheater a cheater.
('Serial fornicators'? Seriously??? That's awesome. Look at all the funny stuff I missed by only skimming through the million pages in this thread. You shouldn't dish out that kind of judgment against people if you aren't prepared to have a little thrown back in your direction.)
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/16/2006 1:46:22 PM | If you find someone with whom you have a good relationship you will want to find ways to stay in that relationship. If marriage is part of that way to stay in it, then you will marry. I have had several relationships, and have found that it is, and was,
clear why they were not worth holding on to.
With the experience I now have, I can see what is important. No longer do I hold on to a relationship that has
nowhere to go. No longer do I hold on to a relationship where I am trying to " fix" my partner, or trying to find
ways for them to accept the things that they should accept, because they are a part of me. No longer do I maintain a relationship where my partner's sexual abilities are hampered by early life experiences, or even by
recent life experiences. I am now looking for a new person with whom I can share this motto; " Let me be there for that wonderland that only two can share, and to go on being there FOR THE KIND OF PARTNER FOR ME.
Thanks for giving me a chance to say something about this. [ also, thanks for Olivia Newton John, for putting these sentiments into music.] This is part of a reply I posted to another question, but i felt I had to put it in
to your question. If the relationship is good the question doesn't mean a thing. If your partner is just looking for other fish, then it is not good. [At least in the context of what you are looking for ] | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:52:51 PM |
I haven't found the right woman yet, but I am waiting for marriage anyway. I definitely find it difficult to at times, but I feel I owe it to my future wife to be faithful to her before marriage as well as after. - BRIANiac
You know, a lot of people have strode into this thread and waved their faith around like a battle axe. Though I disagree with you on this issue, BRIANiac, I just wanted to say that I was intrigued by your comment enough to look at your profile.
I commend you, both on your faith, and how you express it. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/21/2006 6:49:26 PM | I wouldn't wait until marriage, unless the woman was a virgin and was absolutely 100% perfect for me in every way.
Trust is a big issue with me, and frankly I don't trust a woman until she's slept with me. It's not that I distrust them before hand, but trust has to be earned, and sex is a very good way to build that trust. It says I'm not just being used for emotional support, or as a meal ticket. Or if I am, at least they're willing to give something in return for it.
If she's not a virgin, there is no way I'd wait, I shouldn't be punished because some guy in her past screwed her over somehow. I'm in for the long run, but making me wait to prove it? Where's the proof from her that she's going to stick around, or that she's not just trying to keep me on a string until she finds someone else? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/23/2006 7:33:24 PM | | Should it really be a question?? I don't believe in either waiting or not waiting. The relationship should be based on common interests and a love for eachother not on how you can rock the sheets. If the girl I'm with wants to wait then that is completely her decision. It's not a question as to what I want, it's a question as to what WE would want. If people want to be in a relationship then it should be less of a selfish endeavor and more of a team endeavor. If I love her that much then I could respect her wishes and wait untill we were married. If I didn't care at all then I'd pressure her untill she says yes. and what would that make me?? | |
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